Read this before trusting anyone

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“Trust me …” is a term often heard and was Ren Laxander’s topic at the September 23 meeting of the Pattaya City Expats Club. Ren has just finished his latest book entitled, The book you need to read before you trust anyone ever again. Ren is originally from Australia and previously spoke to the club last April on the subject of The Rest of Our Lives, which was about the probabilities and the possibilities that face us as we enter the last half/third/quarter of our lives.

Ren pointed out that if you yourself are honest and competent then your biggest disasters in life are most likely to come from broken trust; something he learned from his own personal experience about 8 years ago when he entered into a business venture with another individual in Australia. He said this experience led him to write his latest book on the subject of trust. He said his topic would cover identifying the eight types of trust-breakers and how to spot them. He would also offer some clues for spotting liars and some simple things you can do to encourage trustworthiness.

“Trust me ...” was Ren Lexander’s topic; he has just finished his latest book entitled “The book you need to read before you trust anyone ever again.”“Trust me …” was Ren Lexander’s topic; he has just finished his latest book entitled “The book you need to read before you trust anyone ever again.”

Ren said that most people who become trust breakers did not plan to do so; rather it is something that comes about later after the “deal” is done.  He then named the eight types of trust breakers as the deluded salesman, the de-prioritizer, the incompetent, the idiot, the wimp, the over-stepper, the poor judge, and the con man or woman.

He then characterized each type such as the deluded sales person. This person usually thinks they are being truthful, but in many cases they may be misinformed, under-informed, or mistaken. He noted that a de-prioritizer is someone who at the time of the deal promises to give priority to your interests, but after the deal is done tends to forget their promises and starts to give priority to other things.

Ren considers the “idiot” to be someone who espouses a particular theory or set of facts and continues to stand by them even after being shown irrefutable proof that they are wrong. Ren cited the American economist Alan Greenspan as a good example – he said that Greenspan continued to believe that financial markets could be self regulated and continued to espouse those beliefs to the American public after events showed that was not the case.

Ren described the over-stepper as someone that often breaks their trust with the best of intentions. An example was someone you loan a book to and ask that they return it to you when finished. However, when you inquire about it, they say that they loaned it to someone else who they knew would enjoy it; unfortunately that person went back to their home country and they cannot return the book to you. Another example of overstepping he cited was a mine cave-in where one or more rescuers disregard safety protocols in the interest of speeding up the rescue. While their intentions are good, they are placing themselves and others in danger by their actions.

The last type Ren discussed was the con-man or woman.  Their intent is to deceive you for their own benefit.  He noted that they often tell small lies which you may decide to let slide by.  However, when they are telling these small lies, they are actually practicing for the big ones. Ren then described several “signs” you can look for to identify a person if they are being untruthful. To illustrate his point, Ren had previously selected three volunteers and gave them a nail clipper, which allowed only one to actually possess it. Each then told the audience they were the one that had the nail clipper. The audience was asked to observe and guess which two were the liars. After this exercise, Ren concluded his presentation by mentioning some things you can do to encourage trustworthiness.

Who me? says visitor Gavin in a game of ‘spot the liar’ with Lawrie (holding mic) and Jim. Ren devised the test to show that all of us can be fooled some of the time.Who me? says visitor Gavin in a game of ‘spot the liar’ with Lawrie (holding mic) and Jim. Ren devised the test to show that all of us can be fooled some of the time.

After Ren answered several questions from the audience, Master of Ceremonies Richard Silverberg then invited two actors from the Pattaya Players production of “Inspector Drake and the Perfeckt Crime” to perform a brief skit from the play. This was done by Mike Pence (playing Doctor Short) and Bob Smith (playing Sergeant Plod); after which they encouraged everyone to support Pattaya’s amateur theatre group by attending one of the two upcoming performances.

MC Richard then provided an update on upcoming events and called on Roy Albiston to conduct the Open Forum where questions are asked and answered about Expat living in Thailand, Pattaya in particular. You can learn more about the club and its activities by visiting their website at www.pattayacityexpatsclub.com.

‘Hawaii Bob’ Sutterfield points out to MC Richard Silverberg the winner of a new Frugal Freddy special offer, a generous discount at one of Pattaya’s better value but great food restaurants.‘Hawaii Bob’ Sutterfield points out to MC Richard Silverberg the winner of a new Frugal Freddy special offer, a generous discount at one of Pattaya’s better value but great food restaurants.

Former PCEC Chairman Richard Smith enjoys boating in a Hobie Trimaran, powered by a newly invented pedal drive system. The event for PCEC members & guests was sponsored by Blue Seas Marine, of Ocean Marina, and was a follow up to MD Gary Baguley’s presentation on the 9th of September. Blues Seas provided a delicious sausage sizzle after the demo. Former PCEC Chairman Richard Smith enjoys boating in a Hobie Trimaran, powered by a newly invented pedal drive system. The event for PCEC members & guests was sponsored by Blue Seas Marine, of Ocean Marina, and was a follow up to MD Gary Baguley’s presentation on the 9th of September. Blues Seas provided a delicious sausage sizzle after the demo.