Heart to Heart – August 14, 2020- August 28, 2020


Hidden under the bed

Dear Hillary,

Our son is 21 and still lives with us in the condo. He hasn’t got a job, so spends most of his time in front of the computer. The other day I wanted to use it and found that when I checked on the history in the menu, he has been regularly looking at porn sites. Every day! Is this dangerous? Should I, or his father, speak to him about this? Or should we just ban him from using the internet? I am very worried about this, but hope that you may have come across this sort of problem before.


Dear Marie,

This ‘problem’ is far from new. I am sure your husband would have secretly read his father’s collection of Playboy magazines, generally “hidden” under the bed, and it wasn’t for the words either. The porn sites on the internet are really just the same as the ‘naughty’ pictures used to be in the girlie magazines, for the same reasons. Don’t even think that banning his internet time will work. However, you do have a problem – and that is a 21 year old son with no job and not enough to do with his time. Why is he not at college or university? Why is he not employed? The voyeur aspect you are worried about is part of growing up. Lazing around the house is not. I suggest you and your husband come to grips with this and get something for the young man to do. And soon.

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Same old same old

Dear Hillary,

I’ve been away for a couple of years and since I’ve come back I see it’s the same old same old problem, but if these guys stopped to read your column they would stop a lot of heartache. The girls are great fun, but for the sake of the little man, don’t get serious. How many times do they need to be told, if it seems they can’t read either? Just sign me off as “Amazed”.

Dear Amazed,

Like you, initially I was amazed, but no longer. The males who write to me remind me of the behavior of lemmings where the whole pack rush over the cliff, leading to total destruction. The unsuspecting male tourists come here in packs, complete plane-loads it seems, and they descend on the bars, where the ladies of the night are waiting like killer whales ready to eat baby seals. And do they ever get eaten! And when the tourists get back to their home countries and send off the money they promised to their faithful darlings, after a few months the rush of hormones slows down and they wonder what they have done, and then start to complain to me, and how do they get their money back after their mate tells the sucker that his faithful girl did not go back to the village, but is still working from the bar. Really you have to hand it to the bar girls. Every last one of them turns in Oscar winning performances, so they deserve the financial rewards they get, and the over-eager males deserve the financial drain that comes from it. Do they read? No, they haven’t got the time!


Golf is safer

Dear Hillary,

Everyone comes here with the idea of a good time or life in mind. In previous posts I mentioned we are newly retired here, and now that most of the business of that is done, it is time for me to find other activities more suited to our lifestyle than worrying about the troubles of farangs which is your job. It is time for us to get involved with more like minded expats. We haven’t been in a bar in two weeks, not even those owned by my friends. So while you are current on the changes in Pattaya I’d be speaking of only history, a time that has passed never to return.

Of course I will continue to read your column, but I think maybe the next time you hear from me it will because I’ll be the one needing the advice. Hope that time never comes, but I know where to find you if I need you.

Have a great day, keep doing what you do.

Les and Lawan

Dear Les and Lawan,

How gracious of you, and I do hope you find something to fill in the days, now that you are retired. The old advice is still the best – find a hobby, but make sure the hobby isn’t 150 cm tall with long black hair. That hobby can be quite dangerous. Golf is safer. Best of luck to you both.


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