F1 on holidays for the next three months

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Kimi Raikkonen.
Kimi Raikkonen.

The final GP was held in Abu Dhabi at the Yawn Marina circuit (sorry, that was the Yas Marina circuit). Once again, the desert served up the most forgettable Grand Prix of the year. No ‘down to the wire’ stuff as the World Driver’s championship had already been decided. No ‘down to the wire’ stuff as the Constructor’s championship was also out of reach. All that was left, was which Mercedes would win. The monosyllabic glum looking Valtteri Bottas of Finland or England’s favorite rapper Lewis Hamilton, complete with stubble and granny glasses.

Bottas secured pole position over Hamilton and the position at the front stayed the same for however many boring laps it took for the checkered flag to fall.

Third was the cranky German Sebastian Vettel in the Ferrari and fourth his team mate, the equally monosyllabic Kimi Raikkonen famous for the rejoinder “Leave me alone, I know what I am doing.”

The only front runner to look at all interesting was Daniel Ricciardo, but his Red Bull ran out of bottles of Red Bull and that was his race run. His team mate Super Cloggie Max Verstappen said afterwards that if he had had a pillow in his car, he would have gone to sleep. So did we, the spectators.

The TV coverage tried to add a little excitement while we watched the 17th and 18th cars battle it out. “After you, no, after you.”

So if you missed the telecast on Kim’s big screen, don’t fret, you missed nothing.