Family Money: Stages of Life - Part 1

By Leslie Wright

Some people in Pattaya reckon Man goes through only three stages in his life: tri-weekly, try weekly and try weakly.

However, when it comes to financial planning, most people typically go through seven life-stages.

Each is distinct, and a person’s needs (both real and perceived) differ considerably between them.

Young Unmarried

The first stage of course is childhood, during which one is (usually) totally dependent upon others to take care of one’s financial needs. These include the costs of schooling and healthcare, as well as the obvious ones of food, shelter and clothing.

The next stage is Young, Unmarried.

At the start of one’s working life, most people are relatively carefree, having few if any significant financial responsibilities. Enjoying their lives while they have the chance is the first priority for most young people; the last thing on their mind is pension planning!

Although their income is relatively small and short-term ‘wants’ - clothes, holidays, car - tend to take priority at this stage, they nonetheless usually have some disposable income.

It is prudent planning (but rarely done) to put aside as much as possible to start a capital reserve for the significant expenses likely to occur in the next couple of life-stages.

Married without children

The third stage is Young, Married without children.

It is at this stage that many people consider buying what is likely to be their most expensive capital investment: the family home.

Their first priority is amassing the down-payment for a suitable property, and planning the mortgage repayments.

If both spouses are contributing to the family income, it is sound planning to consider what would happen if one (or both) were temporarily or permanently incapacitated and unable to work.

This is where suitable life and/or health insurance is important.

Cost-effective cover

Some insurance agents try to sell young married couples Whole-of-Life policies, citing the long-term investment aspect of these as beneficial.

But frankly, as the investment element in these is typically quite small - especially in the early years - the one who benefits most is the agent, not the policy-holder, since the commission is typically much higher than on a considerably cheaper term-life policy.

Thus while the family income certainly needs to be protected by taking out sufficient insurance coverage to meet any potential shortfall (through accident, prolonged ill-health or death), it makes more sense to get best value for money with a simple term-life policy while money is still tight - as it usually still is at this stage in their lives.

If either spouse travels internationally other than for the annual vacation, an international healthcare policy can mitigate the potentially high costs of doctors’ bills or hospitalisation in countries where their state benefits do not apply (if they are entitled to them at all).

For those of us resident virtually full-time in Thailand, however, treatment in the excellent local hospitals is much cheaper than in many other countries.

The relatively high cost of an international healthcare plan (which is based on aggregate international treatment costs) is thus hard to justify in comparison with some much cheaper local policies which nonetheless provide comparable coverage both for in-patient and out-patient care.

And this last point applies to all life-stages, by the way - not just to young married couples.

Married with children

The arrival of children is a relatively expensive period for most couples, especially if they’re still young and just starting up the career ladder.

Often, the wife has to stop working to take care of the new family; alternatively, childcare has to be arranged and paid for.

Either way, the family income is affected, and typically there is little excess disposable income. Budgeting has to be undertaken with greater care, but prudent forward planning must still be undertaken to ensure sufficient money is going to be there when needed.

For example, school & college fees can be a heavy burden on many young (and not-so-young) couples, and make a serious dent in the family budget if not planned for well in advance.

A regular savings plan, set up early, can provide the capital for an education fund far less onerously than having to pay the bills from your back pocket!

Children also tend to get sick more than grown-ups, so taking out a comprehensive but cost-effective healthcare plan for each child at birth can be a great saving in the long run.

The ‘What If’ factor

Another important consideration - but one often neglected - is what happens to the family should an accident befall the principal (or worse, sole) breadwinner?

Unless the surviving parent is confident that he or she will be able to maintain the family’s standard of living after their partner’s death, there is a need for life insurance on the partner. And the sum assured should be sufficient to replace a large part of their earnings, possibly for the rest of the surviving partner’s life.

Similarly, the death of the non-working partner will create a problem for the wage earner. Probably someone else will have to be paid to run the family home and take care of the children. Life insurance could be taken out on the non-earning partner’s life to meet this additional expense.

If only one partner is working, another important area which needs consideration is the need to start a pension fund. Too often this is neglected, priority being given to buying a home, and educating and clothing the children.

In all situations, then, the arrival of children greatly increases the family cost and increases the need for financial protection for the family. However, this must not prevent us from remembering that the family’s investment needs also increase.

Objective Planning

For example, most parents wish to give their children a good start in life. Educating children at an international school can be quite expensive these days; giving their children a privileged education ‘back home’ even more so - especially if you plan to send your children on to university. Therefore, plans have to be made well in advance to accumulate the money to pay school fees and higher education costs.

With several children, these costs will be too high for most people to pay out of normal income. To achieve their educational objectives for their children, the parents may have to start investing from the day the first child is born.

All these investment needs to provide for children are additional to the parents’ investment needs for themselves - better houses, better cars, more expensive holidays in the future and, above all, adequate provision for their retirement. Each year that passes without people starting financial programmes to achieve these goals makes them harder to achieve.

Unfortunately, there is rarely sufficient money to pay for all the family’s protection and investment needs. Tough choices have to be made.

Getting Your Priorities Right

It is always difficult to be emotionally detached when deciding where to allocate limited resources. However, this is essential if your financial planning is to be sound and effective.

Most people find themselves too emotionally involved in their family needs (which are often ‘wants’ rather than real needs) to be able objectively to make these tough decisions.

A professional financial advisor may be able to guide you in quantifying and prioritising these needs, and helping you allocate resources accordingly.

For example, with a young family, protection needs must normally take priority over investment, leaving investment needs to be funded as soon as possible when more disposable income becomes available.

As time goes by

Fortunately, most people become better off as they grow older and this enables them to increase their contributions to financial planning programmes little by little.

As children grow older they cost more to keep and educate. However, by this stage, parents are typically approaching mid-career, and their incomes will usually have increased. A parent who stayed at home when the children were young may now be returning to work and increasing the family income.

With improving finances, the family lifestyle will have improved and in most cases, parents will have more money available for discretionary spending, including spending on financial planning.

The parents’ financial planning priorities are also changing from available protection and planning needs to investment needs.

As the children grow older and more independent, the period for which they need financial protection against the premature death of their parents grows shorter, but income protection is still needed by the parents.

In some countries, private medical insurance to cover hospital expenses and obtain early treatment may be desirable or even essential.

However, investment considerations become more important, for two reasons. First, the couple may be considering a larger home for their growing family, new cars or even boats for leisure. These may require raising loans, and additional loans may be necessary to finance the remainder of the children’s education. Plans have to be made to service these loans and repay the capital (unless you plan to join the dubious ranks of those with Non-Performing Loans, which in most countries are rather frowned upon.)

On the other hand, the term to retirement is growing shorter. Providing for an adequate income in retirement is becoming ever more urgent, and the annual investment required to fund a good pension is growing with every year of delay. If adequate contributions do not start in time - i.e., now - it may become impossible to build a sufficient pension fund to maintain your standard of living in retirement.

(Next week: Pre- & Post-Retirement Needs)

If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, write to Leslie Wright, c/o Family Money, Pattaya Mail, or fax him directly on (038) 232522 or e-mail him at [email protected].

Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments.

The Computer Doctor

by Richard Bunch

Following on from last week’s article, the incidence of virus infestation is still extremely high and some of these are particularly new and vicious. There are some very new ones and it really is very important to update your virus database.

It is also prudent that should disaster strike, that you are able to recover from it. It is one thing for your computer to become infected but if your data is destroyed, either by the virus itself or the recovery then it is important that you have the wherewithal to restore it from an uncontaminated source. This is obviously more important for the office PC or network but also holds good for the home PC.

The method you choose for the backup depends largely on your budget or the degree of risk you are prepared to take. The cheapest but most unreliable method is obviously to floppy disk, this is also the slowest method and only really appropriate for single or groups of small files. The most reliable and cost effective media at the moment is writeable CDROM drives. With the introduction of 4x writeable IDE internal units, they are well within the budget of many companies and individuals. For example the latest Philips drive costs less than 12,000 Baht. There is then the choice of either one time only write CD’s or rewriteable CD’s, the latter are about four times the price of one time only. Prices are in the region of 65 and 350 Baht. The next most effective media is Zip and Jaz drives around 4,500 and 15,000 Baht respectively. These are not as convenient as the CD since the recipient PC needs to have the appropriate hardware installed/connected whereas the majority of PC’s purchased today have CD ROM drives installed as standard equipment. Being removable media, it also allows for the resultant backup to be stored offsite thereby increasing the protection afforded. Obviously where PC’s are networked, data can be backed up between PC’s and servers if installed.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or E-mail to [email protected]

Successfully Yours: Patriya Siri-ngarmwong

by Mirin MacCarthy

It was John Lennon and the Beatles who sang the hit “With a little help from my friends”. As we all go down that convoluted road called “life”, we can all do with a little help from friends from time to time. For a boy born Boonlert Saechi from Nakhon Si Thammarat to end up as Patriya Siri-ngarmwong, Miss Queen of the Universe, this is very much the case.

Boonlert’s mother died when he was 3 years old and his 10 year old elder brother and he were raised by their father in a single parent household. His brother did all the things that boys normally do, but Boonlert did not want to climb trees or chase neighbourhood dogs. Boonlert knew that he was different. This knowledge was part of his earliest childhood memories and he cannot remember not thinking that he was a girl.

But he was a boy, nevertheless. Physically, he grew tall and long limbed, but he was different. His father had hopes for him that perhaps he would change and be a man like his brother, but was man enough in himself to let Boonlert be what he wanted to be, even if as a young teenager Boonlert was still fairly confused.

He left school early, and lacking much education and being unsure of his own sexuality, it would have been very easy for him to have gone down a path which has no bright future at the end of it.

He came to Bangkok and began entering transvestite beauty contests as a way of supporting himself. However, he was still sporting a man’s short haircut and was more than somewhat flat chested.

At about this time, now being 17 years old, he began to make some decisions and one was to change his name to Patriya Siri-ngarmwong. The next was to let his, sorry “her”, hair grow longer.

The next step for Patriya did involve more than just a little help from her friends. She received sponsorship from the Pratunam Polyclinic to embark on surgery to point her just a little further down the road to womanhood. Breast implants were done and four days later she entered the Miss Tiffany Universe competition here in Pattaya.

This was indeed a huge turning point in her life. Despite the pain and discomfort of her operation she smiled her way through to the final to become the winner and our local Miss Tiffany Universe.

With that sash held close to her new bosom she went back to her apartment in Bangkok and her hobby of growing Bonsai trees. She was now 18 years old and had some direction.

It was about now that she needed just a little more help from some friends. That friend turned out to be Arisara Phantusak, the daughter of City Councillor Sutham. Since Patriya would be representing her father’s Tiffany Show, Arisara took her on and began polishing what was obviously a very rough diamond. Coaching went on for some time till Patriya was ready to go to Los Angeles to represent Thailand in the world competition.

From 40 stunning “girls of the second category”, Patriya won the Best Native Costume award, then backed that up with Best Evening Gown. She held her poise, remembering her coaching on how to present herself, and came away from Los Angeles with the title of Miss Queen of the Universe 1999.

She would like to become a Supermodel, and has the height and now the figure to be able to do this. She is waiting for the “right time” to complete her surgical transformation but so much has happened in the last six months she really feels she has to let life settle a little.

To become so successful, in such a short time, it would be easy to run off the rails, but with the Tiffany Show now behind her she is going back to school to complete her education and her coaching continues from Arisara to become more confident in lifestyle matters and social interchange.

It will be a long and winding road for this young lady, but if she continues to persevere and has just a little bit of luck and a little help from her friends, she could just make it. Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss move over, Patriya is coming through!

Snap Shots: Weird Edweard Muybridge

by Harry Flashman

Photography can certainly bring out some of the real characters in this world. Edweard Muybridge was one of them and whilst decidedly eccentric he did further scientific knowledge and made the first cinema projector.

Edweard was born plain Edward Muggeridge in the UK in 1830 but emigrated to America in the early 1850’s and changed his name (as did a lot of other people emigrating in those days).

In the 1860’s he took up photography and gained some fame as a topographical photographer and even published a book, “Scenery of the Yosemite Valley” in 1867.

However, it was the photography of motion that attracted Edweard. In 1872 he finally managed to successfully photograph a horse in motion showing that at certain times all four hooves are off the ground simultaneously. Unfortunately, immediately after that he was tried for murdering his wife’s lover but was acquitted. He was then sued for divorce by the distraught lady and finally widowed. All this kept Edweard away from his photography of motion for four years.

Returning to photography, with the millionaire railroad builder, Leland Stanford as his sponsor, Edweard developed a unique system in 1878 which was in reality 12 cameras mounted side by side and operated by trip wires. By the following year he had expanded this to 24 cameras and could thus take very short time interval photographs of horses, dogs, pigeons and goats in motion. This in turn led to photographing moving humans, despite enormous problems in getting people to walk past his battery of 24 cameras in the nude! However, by 1881 he published these in a book.

His next objective was to show these as motion and he invented the “Zoopraxiscope” which projected sequences of these photographs mounted on a glass disc to give the impression of true motion. This was in fact the worlds first cinema projector and preceded Thomas Edison’s “Kinetoscope” by some twelve years.

In 1882 Edweard went to Europe, hopeful of raising sponsorship to continue his photographic study of movement, but returned to America with empty pockets. He was then lucky enough to get backing from the University of Pennsylvania. They kept him alive while he photographed 2000 models, male and female, clothed and nude, as well as wild animals. When he ran out of models, he even used himself, taking his serial shots of himself walking up and down ramps. 20,000 photographs of almost 800 different subjects were published in a book called “Animal Locomotion” in 1887.

Once again, he was to run out of money for his grandiose schemes and tried selling the “Animal Locomotion” book at $100 a book. Needless to say it was not an overnight best seller.

This led our Edweard to new heights. He built a hall to demonstrate the Zoopraxiscope, called the Zoopraxographical Hall in the 1893 Chicago World’s Colombian Exhibition. This was the world’s first movie theatre and predated the Lumiere brothers “Cinematographe” presentations by three years.

Despite his inventiveness, the world did not beat a path to his studio and Edweard decided he had enough of this photography lark, returning to the UK, where he bequeathed all his photographic equipment to the local library. At the turn of the century he reprinted his original books, earning enough to eke out his last four years of life.

Of course, what Edweard did not realise was that almost 100 years later the scientific community would find that he had left them the most complete records of animal motion ever produced and in fact in 1979 his books were republished.

Modern Medicine: Ear Wax!

by Dr Iain Corness

Some of us are wonderful bees! We can produce wax in our ears that could keep your average bee-hive going for many years. In fact, some bright young doctor, with not much else to do, has studied the number of times a doctor in General Practice gets asked about ear wax. The answer is every one hundred and eleven consultations, making ear wax the 18th most frequently managed GP problem.

So there you are, that ear wax problem isn’t just yours. The 111th patient in the line behind you has that problem as well.

So what can you do to get this wax out of your ear? The time-honoured method is to use a car key, ladies hair grip or opened out paper clip to try and dig it out. None of these methods are advocated by your doctor, I can assure you. The ear canal is a delicate piece of your anatomy and the ear drum, at the bottom of the canal is particularly fragile. For most of us, it is a case of trying to wash it out while washing our hair, or in desperation visiting the doctors surgery for an ear syringe.

Now this same doctor who spent time counting the patients also did a very interesting study on how to “dissolve” ear wax, and I must admit that I learned a thing or two myself by reading his research report.

Before going on to a full blown syringe-out, I always advised my patients to put some olive oil in the ears for a couple of days to “soften the wax”. There are also available some commercial preparations like “Waxsol” and “Cerumol” and I tended to tell my patients not to bother but use the olive oil because it was cheaper.

This chap carried out a proper study, chopping up ear wax and trying to see if he could dissolve the wax in several liquids, one of which was my olive oil. Guess what? After 30 days immersion in olive oil, his test ear wax was totally unchanged. The “Cerumol” broke down 75% of the wax in 30 days while the “Waxsol” produced a 100% disintegration in two hours. So far, the “Waxsol” looks like being way out in front.

However, the researcher, Dr. Max Kamien in Western Australia, did not stop there but also compared the results to how a home preparation of 15% Sodium bicarbonate solution would go. Guess what again! The 15% Sodi bic solution produced 100% disintegration in just one hour! Home preparation wins hands down.

So if you are a good little bee and want to clean out the ear canals, here’s the formula - add a level 1/4 of a teaspoon of Sodium bicarbonate to 10 mls of water, shake well and apply with an eye dropper.

After waiting for one hour, hop under the shower and let the warm water carry away the waxy sludge. So thank you very much, Dr. Max. Your little scientific study has benefited us all - including old hands like me!

Dear Hillary,

I cannot believe that grown men would write in to your column with the agony questions that they do. Anyone who writes in to columns like this must be mentally ill.

Crackers

Dear Crackers,

Perhaps they don’t know where to turn to for anonymous help in Pattaya. Anyway, are they really that sick? You just wrote in too, remember darling!

Dear Hillary,

I want to buy a tuk-tuk and take it back to my country to use as a promotional tool for my Thai restaurant. Is this possible?

Tuk

Dear Tuk,

This is Thailand. Everything is possible, just some things are possibly more expensive than others. Tuk-tuks are manufactured in Bangkok, so you can purchase one up there. You can also get them second hand in Pattaya from time to time. Any good shipping agent can assist you regarding the freighting of a tuk-tuk to your country. Hillary is so presumptuous as to believe you’re not going to ride it home, are you? If so, get one of those inflatable cushions.

Dear Hillary,

Why do Thais when they are out in company with English speaking people still speak Thai to each other, even though they can speak English. Don’t you think this is very rude?

English Eddie

Dear Eddie,

Hey Eddie, where are you living? Check the address on your Post Office Box - you are living in Chonburi District - that’s part of Thailand at last count. Rather than them speaking English, it is you who should speak Thai. Or is it that you are worried about the Thais talking about you? Don’t worry about it. But remember that even paranoid people can have enemies!

Dear Hillary,

My husband and I have come into a little money recently and I would like to donate some of this to a worthwhile charity where the money will be used properly. Everyone we speak to seems to have yet another pet charity and we are getting confused. Have you any suggestions?

Charity Charlotte

Dear Charlotte,

There are lots of well deserving charities in Pattaya, but if you are not sure then why not just let one of the organisations that assists various charities disperse the money for you. Pattaya Sports Club or Pattaya International Ladies Club would do this. Talk to them, though I presume when you say “pet charity” you don’t mean the local home for unmarried cats and dogs!

Dear Hillary,

This even sounds silly as I type it, but it is a big problem for me. The guys I drink with are all very friendly and we all buy each other a round of beers when we are together. The problem is that we will end up in a school of maybe a dozen fellows and after six beers I am history. Beers just keep arriving in front of me and I go home sloshed every night. Any suggestions?

Sloshed

Dear Sloshed,

Guys have mentioned this problem to Hillary before. Being a good girl I don’t have this problem because I gave up drinking when they brought in gulping. But back to your school of heavy drinkers, all I can suggest is to drink something soft every second round. The bar staff will soon catch on that you drink orange juice and will ask you which one you want. Real men can eat quiche and drink orange juice too.

Dear Hillary,

There is a very nice girl in the office next to my work and I have been getting smiles from her every day. I would like to meet her and maybe take her out, but I have been told that she doesn’t speak any English. This is a problem because I do not speak much Thai. Is there any future for us?

Fortune teller

Dear Fortune teller,

You’ve got one indication that this girl is showing interest, although remember that to smile (yim) is a polite Thai way of meeting and greeting people. Now are you positive she cannot speak English? Surely you can walk into her office and ask to borrow a pencil. You could be very surprised. If she looks at you totally blankly then you get out of this embarrassing situation by saying “Khun mii dinsaw?” If the situation is as bad as you fear then you can always offer to teach her English if she teaches you Thai. One word of warning though, predicting the future is not really in Hillary’s bag of tricks. Perhaps you should consult a tarot card reader?

GRAPEVINE

Dining Out: Au Bon Coin - a moving experience

by Miss Terry Diner

It is always difficult moving house. It is even more difficult moving your restaurant. Ask Jose, the charismatic owner of Au Bon Coin. Not only did Jose leave his old location and go to Soi 5, but, in addition, he had to totally rebuild the place. “I ‘ad to be ze carpenter as well, it make me so tired.”

Having seen the end result at opening night a couple of weeks ago, the Dining Out Team felt it was now time to see if Jose’s new establishment had settled in to its new kitchen and surrounds.

The location is at the Beach Road end of Soi 5 and there is plenty of parking, both within the restaurant compound and on the soi itself. The wood panelling d้cor is inviting, as are the staff. Comfy chairs and air-conditioned, though there is a huge outdoor area that can be used as well.

Jose has kept his original menu (and the old prices) but has been adding some blackboard specials such as Roast Beef on Saturdays with gratin dauphinois and Roast Leg of Lamb on Thursdays.

There is a 230 Baht set menu as well as a la carte. The set menu covers salads or pate, followed by steak, fish or pork and then desserts (a choice of three). The other side of the menu begins with appetizers - salads at 70-80 baht, pates (B 70-80), some snails at B 160, mussels B 70 and some French cold cuts and a soup.

Mains range between B 160 (pork, chicken and rib eye) through to ribs and different beef fillets (B 260-390). There is a seafood section (B 150-280). All mains are served with french-fries, baked potatoes or rice with a choice of pepper, Dijon mustard or Provencal sauce. There is also a selection of desserts (B 40-120) including crepes Suzette.

We began with a chicken salad for my partner and the stuffed mussels for me. The chicken salad had big juicy chunks of chicken and the salad was tossed with French dressing. There were also some interestingly different fruits as part of this dish.

The mussels were steamed in a bright green sauce of French parsley and garlic butter. They were plump and tender and the garlic butter sauce superb. I ended up dabbing the crusty bread into the shells to mop up every last bit!

For mains we had the blackboard special of leg of lamb. Thick, tender slices with “Pommes Boulanger” - a sliced baked potato that is traditionally done in the baker’s oven in small villages in France. This came with the Dijon mustard and was a very pleasant dish. We washed it all down with a glass or two of the house dry white, which was eminently drinkable and at B 90 no more expensive than beer at many restaurants.

It was a most enjoyable meal for many reasons. Firstly, the affable Jose himself, a mine of interesting food folk-lore. Secondly, the food is good (and the mussels were just wonderful), thirdly it is not expensive and lastly the new premises have a great atmosphere to them.

The “new” Au Bon Coin is definitely worth a visit. We’ll be back for more mussels I can assure you. Thank you Jose.

Animal Crackers: The American Bald Eagle

by Mirin MacCarthy

First item to note is that Bald Eagles are not bald! The Bald Eagle, the symbol of America, has feathers just like all other eagles but after the eagle is three years old the head, neck and tail turns pure white, making it look bald at a distance.

These magnificent birds are some of the largest fish eagles in the world, and once, before the advent of the white settlers, were very prevalent throughout America.

The male Bald Eagles weigh up to 5 kg with a two metre wingspan, but the females can weigh up to 7 kg with a wingspan of two and a half metres. These eagles are only slightly smaller than the Golden Eagle.

The feathers are dark brown, other than the head, neck and tail and are adapted for the most efficient flight. Even the wing tip feathers are spread out to reduce turbulence when the eagle dives at speeds approaching 160 KPH.

The Bald Eagle is a very highly adapted bird with a hollow boned skeleton that only weighs 300 grams. Even its feathers weigh twice the weight of its frame. With its huge wingspan relative to its weight it can spend many hours gliding around the skies on natural thermal currents.

The Bald Eagle lives mainly on fish, plummeting down to grab any fish close to the surface, but when fish are scarce it will also kill and eat small animals or even eat carrion. These eagles will also attack hawks, making them drop their catch of the day!

They are territorial birds and once mated, the two eagles will live in the same nest for many years, repairing it every year as necessary. Their successive broods (usually pairs) will also live close to the parent birds in large family neighbourhoods.

Being birds with few natural enemies, they are long lived and can live as old as 30 years in the wild. Unfortunately, mankind has been the biggest killer of them, followed by man-made environmental pollution. It has been estimated that there were over half a million Bald Eagles before the white man’s invasion, but after hunting and destruction of the birds’ environment with electric power lines and logging and poisoning with pesticides the number of eagles fell to 417 breeding pairs by 1963. The effects of DDT were devastating - poisoned birds laid eggs with very thin shells which were broken during normal nesting and brooding, so the chicks never hatched. Fortunately, after legislation was enacted and DDT was banned, the numbers of Bald Eagles has risen to the point where they are no longer on the “Endangered Species” list and it is estimated there are now 70,000 of these huge birds.

Auto Mania: Dumping Grounds

by Dr. Iain Corness

Last year I complained about the indiscriminate dumping of wrecked and abandoned cars on Pattaya 2 Road opposite Soi Police Station (Soi 8). I realise that with the due process of Thai law sometimes taking a little time that it may be some period before the vehicle can be released to the owner, but it was certainly an eye-sore leaving them at the roadside. Have you noticed that they are no longer there? (As the Irish teacher said, “Hands up all those children that aren’t present.”) Well done, City Administration, Police Department or whomever. It looks just so much better having them in that holding pen and off the main thoroughfare.

Autotrivia Quiz

So what was the car that was sold by Mail Order? A few of you got the manufacturer correct - Sears Roebuck sold a special version of the small Kaiser, but it was marketed as the Allstate, something not too many of you were aware of.

Now one feature of American life that swept the world was drive-in movies. Hands up anyone who has not been to the drive-in. Some of you were probably conceived there! I even used to go to the drive-in with my MGTC, hood down and all. This was mainly because it took too long to try and erect the thing (the rag roof, you fool) and anyway it spoiled the look of the car. Even in those days, the “look” was all important. The first drive-in opened at Camden, New Jersey in 1934.

Now after all that trivia, and sticking with the great world of motoring American style - when and where was the first drive-in bank? The first correct answer wins the FREE beer. Fax 427 596 or email [email protected]. Now that should get you researching, Hawaii Pete Cabrey, and no, I don’t want to know when they started drive-by shootings either!

By the way, thanks, Terry Hawkins, for your ideas as well. Some of them we’ve done already (like the mail order motor cars) but others will make the readers think. I’ll be using them over the next few months.

The Blondie & Danni Show

Hot news is that the Aussie singing budgie Danni Minogue has moved in with ex-world champ Jacques “Blondie” Villeneuve into his luxury Monaco apartment. Wonder if she’d have moved in if he was a two bit scratcher in Formula Ford and living in an attic? Honestly, who cares?

Salon 2000

Courtesy of Jean-Fernand Wasser I received a French auto mag L’Auto-journal. The magazine was devoted to the offerings from the various world manufacturers that will be available in France in the Y2K. Unfortunately it was (naturally) all in French, a language I can fumble through, but the pictures were in English!

It was difficult not to be extremely envious when thumbing through the 360 page publication. The range of vehicles that your average frog can choose from is just astounding. Especially when you compare that to what we get offered here. “What colour do you want your Ford Ranger/ Mazda Fighter/ Toyota Tiger/ Mitsubishi Strada, Sir?” Ah well, there are other reasons one comes to Thailand!

Zafira!

What was interesting was the Opel page in the magazine with the Zafira options over there. Now, if we are to believe everything we have been told by GeeEmm, we are going to get the Zafiras rolling out of the Eastern Seaboard Industrial Estate very soon. In Europe it comes with a 1.6 litre 100 BHP or a 1.8 litre 115 BHP or a 2.0 litre turbo diesel that even with the puffer only gets 82 BHP and is being released next month. The most expensive version costs FF 134,000 which works out around a smidgen over 800,000 Baht. I wonder what they will sell for here?

Super 7’s and other knockoffs

One of the other interesting facts to come out of L’Auto-journal are the enduring designs being faithfully copied 30 plus years later. The first is Colin Chapman’s beautiful little Lotus Super 7. In the UK they market a Caterham S7, a Diva and a Tiger. In Spain they have the Garbi 7. In Benelux they have the Donkervoort D8 which is a Super 7 with an 1800 cc Audi engine delivering 180 neddies in a projectile weighing just over 600 kg. Top speed is 210 KPH and you’d certainly know you were travelling, I can assure you. I have driven the original Chapman models, plus a couple of the Oz knockoffs (Westfield and PBR) with Toyota 4 valve power plants. They are all a joy to drive, even if totally impractical. When you are driving beside a bus and you are below the level of its wheels, you can imagine just how vulnerable you are.

The other world favourite to copy is the AC Cobra. There are literally hundreds of these being produced. The power plants generally range from Jaguar, Toyota and Ford, with thumping great 7 litre models available for those of brave heart. I had a mate with one of these in Oz who had a fuel injected 351 in the nose. It was frighteningly fast on the roads, but unfortunately same mate stuck it fair into a brick wall. Many operations later they saved his leg. They also managed to salvage the fuel filler from the Cobra, and not much else.

Remember the Healey 3000? The “big” Healeys. Yes, you can get several copies of those. One mob called HMC produce theirs with the Range-Rover V8 which could make an interesting vehicle. If you want a smaller Healey you can even get Bug Eye Sprite replicas with the ubiquitous Ford Zetec up front.

But if you want something REALLY bizarre, you can get copies of the old Morgan three wheelers. Now hands up if you remember those. Air cooled Anzani engines with hair pin external valve springs and all. The “new” models come out of Spain and you have a choice of Honda, Harley or Moto Guzzi power. The Guzzi looks particularly “original” with the exhaust pipes exposed.

There’s a lot more too, but I’ll save those for another day. In the meantime, what is your favourite old car? There’s almost certainly a replica being built right now.

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Updated by Chinnaporn Sangwanlek.