COLUMNS
HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:

Family Money

Snap Shots

Modern Medicine

Heart to Heart with Hillary

Personal Directions

Social Commentary by Khai Khem

Women’s World

Family Money: Estate Duties & You - Part 1

By Leslie Wright,
Managing director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd.

When estate duties were introduced in 1881, they were designed as a wealth redistribution measure. The idea was to target the richest people in the country, but only once they themselves (if not their families) were past caring.

Inheritance tax (IHT) was introduced in its present form in 1986 but, over recent years, its impact has broadened considerably – primarily because of rocketing UK property values. Far from being a marginal irritant for the country’s wealthiest families, extrapolation from the chancellor’s figures suggests that more than 10% of families could be caught in the IHT net over the next few years, according to one IHT expert.

Treasury figures put the rapid gathering of the IHT cloud into perspective. In the tax year 2001-02, around ฃ2.3bn was collected in inheritance revenues – up by more than 50% on six years previously, despite a 60% rise in the ‘nil-rate’ tax band during that time.

But, as Roy Jenkins commented when IHT was first introduced: “IHT is, broadly speaking; a voluntary levy paid by those who distrust their heirs more than they dislike the Inland Revenue.” In other words, much of what pours into the chancellor’s coffers is a result of people’s failure to plan properly.

The situation at the moment is that the first ฃ255,000 of your estate is free of inheritance tax (the ‘nil-rate’ band). After this threshold, the entire balance is taxed at 40% – which means your tax liability mounts up at an alarming rate, as the following examples show.

An estate of ฃ300,000 will attract ฃ18,000-worth of IHT (6% of the total). But if you own ฃ400,000 of assets you’ll owe ฃ58,000 (14.5%). And wealth of ฃ500,000 will cost you almost ฃ100,000 (20%). If most of that sum is tied up in the family home, a forced sale may be the only way to raise the money due to the Treasury.

Tax Planning With A Spouse

What can be done? For a start, married couples – at least while they’re both alive – are in an advantageous position, because of what’s known as the ‘spouse exemption’. If a husband or wife dies, and the survivor inherits the entire estate then, normally, no tax whatsoever is payable. Couples who cohabit in a long-term relationship are not entitled to the same benefits, though. In the case of estates over ฃ125,000, a will is usually necessary to pass the entire estate to the surviving spouse because, otherwise, part will go to any children and may thus incur tax.

It’s also worth mentioning that, within the first two years after death, a will can be rewritten by a Deed of Variation if all the beneficiaries agree.

Trouble looms later, though, when the second spouse dies, and the whole estate over and above his or her ฃ255,000 nil-rate band is taxed at 40%. Typically their children will have to foot the bill.

There are a number of ways in which strategic IHT planning can reduce or wipe out this potential tax liability altogether, although another tax expert comments that the priority of the families themselves is not necessarily to find the most tax-efficient arrangement at any cost. “Most families would rather see mum and dad financially secure in their own home than save tax on the second death. One does have to be mindful of how personal this whole area is,” he stresses.

It makes sense to try the simple things first, and only resort to more complex solutions if necessary. The first thing is to establish how much you are worth and get your assets in order. Any life insurance policies should be written in a flexible trust for the benefit of the surviving spouse or the children on the death of the policyholder. It’s also important to make sure that your wills are up to date and, critically, that they are written so as to take advantage of both spouses’ nil-rate bands.

Well-written Wills

Discretionary will trusts are a simple, cheap and effective way of achieving this. Both wills are written so that up to the nil rate band of ฃ255,000-worth of surplus assets on the first spouse’s death are put into a discretionary trust for the benefit of the children. This is simplest if you have spare cash, shares or other liquid assets that can easily be siphoned off into a trust when you die. But even if most of your wealth is tied up in your home, it can still be achieved by stipulating that the property is owned as a tenancy in common, rather than jointly owned. On the first spouse’s death, one tenancy worth up to ฃ255,000 goes into the discretionary trust.

A better arrangement, giving the surviving spouse more flexibility and security of tenure in the family home, is to include the power to set a debt clause in their wills, which basically means that, when the first spouse dies, the executors have the power to hold a debt instead of the property value itself in the discretionary trust.

The net effect is that the ฃ255,000-worth of home ownership is transferred into the trust and then lent to the surviving spouse – let’s say the wife. When she dies, it’s treated as a debt against the value of her estate. On top of this, her own nil rate band also comes into effect at that point.

But it’s not always necessary to take precautionary measures in the shape of trusts. It’s possible simply to give half the value of the house to the children as a gift on the first parent’s death, and ask them not to demand the sale of the property and the release of their cash while their other parent is still living there. It’s very straightforward, but it requires a family where there is total trust between children and parents, and preferably where the surviving spouse has adequate income anyway. There are risks, and I would never make this suggestion in a second marriage situation where children with different parents are involved.

(Continued next week)


Snap Shots: Andy Warhol - Photographer or social critic of his times?

by Harry Flashman

Andy Warhol has been dead for many years, but you will still see his art in the ‘copy’ shops in Thailand. The fluoro ‘Marilyn’ series in particular. However, Andy Warhol left far more than Marilyn and the famous Campbell’s soup can. He left a huge collection of photographs.

Andy Warhol was a complex character. He described himself, “I have a social disease. I have to go out every night.” Again, a quote from the late Andy Warhol, “I also take my camera everywhere. Having a few rolls of film to develop gives me a good reason to get up in the morning.”

He also did not think much of the technical side of photography, “I love the new, small automatic-focus 35 mm cameras like Minox and Konica. I think anyone can take a good picture. My idea of a good picture is one that’s in focus and of a famous person doing something unfamous. It’s being in the right place at the wrong time.”

And while Andy Warhol wanted to be seen, in fact he publishes many photographs of himself in his books about other people, Andy was really a voyeur. However, he was a voyeur of people who wanted to be spied upon, which gave it all a pseudo-legitimacy.

I looked through the book, Andy Warhol’s Exposures, the other day just to see if his photos had any real lasting ‘merit’ as photographic works of art. At the risk of enraging all the Andy fans, really they were nothing but ‘record’ shots showing the glitterati set doing what they do best - posing and poncing around.

But where Andy Warhol excelled was in the fact that he could get to all the places that the celebrities would go. He was accepted, and his poky little cameras with their on-camera flashes were just part of Andy. The photographs are then only of merit because of their subject matter, not for technique or for final technical quality. Many are ‘blown out’ with the subjects too close to the flash, others are blurred. However, the majority are taken with the subjects looking away from the camera - while they are still posing, rather than actually posing for the camera using ‘eye contact’ with the lens. It was a crazy way to take photos, but still one that helped A. Warhol esquire to fame and fortune.

Even though the book Andy Warhol’s Exposures is ostensibly a photo book, there being more pictures than words, it is really about ‘exposing’ the private persona of the celebrity subjects. People who did not really have (or wish to have) private lives. Like Dean Martin’s ex-wife’s boyfriend. Yes, that’s the sort of people you could expect to find being photographed by the famous Campbell’s soup can artist. Of course, he also photographed Mick and Bianca Jagger, ex-US President Jimmy Carter, a swag of Kennedy’s, movie stars, transvestites and the works. As long as somebody thought they were famous.

So what was the point of this week’s column? Just that if you want to contribute something to the world of photography, you must take photos. It doesn’t matter whether you know anything about the science behind it all - the important thing is you have to have images.

In turn, those images must have a theme. Andy Warhol’s was the rich and famous, wannabe’s and hangeron’s. You need to get a theme too. Nightlife in Thailand has probably been done to death, as also the women of Thailand, as beautiful and beguiling as they are. However, if you were a true disciple of Andy Warhol you would perhaps do a series on the transvestites of Thailand - not in their beautiful stage outfits but rather dressed in ordinary clothes, without make-up and shopping at the supermarkets.

If you are going to get somewhere photographically you must have photographs. Richard Sharabura in his book, Shooting Your Way to One Million Dollars, says, “Without an image you’re just a gypsy with a camera.” Find a theme and start shooting today!


Modern Medicine: Hepatitis C - the latest update

by Dr Iain Corness, Consultant

Viral epidemics are always news, but not necessarily good news. Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and the SARS virus being a couple of them. Another virus that has been doing the rounds since 1989 is Hepatitis C.

Hep C, however, did not bob up out of the blue in 1989, but was known as Non-A, Non-B hepatitis, because all we had positively identified were Hep A and Hep B.

It is an interesting virus, in that we are still not fully sure of how we get it, and there are many cases which do not fit into the “classical” mode of transmission. What we do know is that the vast majority of cases fall into the ‘blood to blood’ group. The most common way is sharing intravenous (IV) needles, which is often done by IV drug users. Intravenous Drug Users is the number one group. Another high risk group are prisoners, but incarceration is not the cause - it is again sharing needles, allowing the blood to blood contact. Unlike HIV, Hep C does not appear to be passed on by sexual transmission, however.

The epidemiologists, whose job it is to ‘map’ the outbreaks of Hep C also have found that it is prevalent in some countries, with Egypt being particularly high, then Asia, southern and eastern Europe, parts of Africa and South America. For some of these cases, the virus has occurred through what we call ‘vertical’ transmission - that is from the mother to the child, but this only occurs in around 6% of pregnancies - or put another way, Hep C positive mothers do not pass on the virus in 94% of cases.

The initial illness caused by the virus is a typical hepatitis, with the patient feeling off colour, having pale stools, passing dark urine and showing some signs of jaundice. This acute phase does not last long and up to 20% clear the virus out of their system by 6 months.

Of the 80% left, they develop what we call “chronic” Hepatitis C. The name “chronic” does not refer to the severity of the disease, it refers to the fact that the patients do not seem to be able to clear their systems of the virus. These people can go on to get a condition known as Cirrhosis of the liver - a ‘thickening’ of the liver tissue. However, the figures that we have available at this stage would appear to show that after 20 years, a chronic Hep C patient stands a 7% chance of getting Cirrhosis - in other words, 93% have not developed Cirrhosis after 20 years.

Those who do develop Cirrhosis do stand a chance of developing liver cancer, but this is very low. The current figures would indicate that only 0.3% of people infected with Hep C develop liver cancer. Again, stated another way, 99.7% of people with Hep C do not get liver cancer.

So what can you do if you find that you are a chronic Hep C carrier? Well the first is to stop drinking. Alcohol is a liver toxin and Hepatitis C is a virus that affects the liver. Put the two together and the situation becomes much worse. The good books say that one standard drink a day is OK. Me? I’d make it one a week, if I had Hep C. Other no-nos are smoking, and of course IV drug use. The only other advice is to have an annual check-up and keep a positive attitude.


Heart to Heart with Hillary

Dear Hillary,
I will come clean right off and say that I do spend a fair bit of time at night in the bars. I am single, and it’s a good way to meet people. The old bill in the cup routine I think is very good because it shows that the bar trusts you not to lose a couple before you pay at the end of the night. Recently though I have been getting the feeling that my bill is not right, because it seems to be a lot more than I thought it should be. Is it OK to check the amount yourself before the girl takes the cup to the cashier? I don’t want them to think I don’t trust them, when they are trusting me. What is the usual thing?
Unsure Drinker

Dear Unsure Drinker,
You are having me on, aren’t you, Petal. Nobody is that naive any more, surely? It is your bill, and you pay it with your money. Of course you can check it. Mind you, if you are getting yourself to the stage where you can’t count past ten without taking your shoes off, you have a real problem. Is this the situation? You’ve got no real idea how many drinks you’ve had, or how many “lady drinks” you’ve bought in the course of the evening? You have the choice - go on the wagon for a while or take a pocket calculator into your favourite bars.
Dear Hillary,
My girlfriend Lek seems to work in a totally different time clock to me. She can go up the road to the market and come back two hours later as if she’d just been away for five minutes. She takes the maid with her so I know she’s not up to something. How can I get her to understand I get worried that something has happened to her?
Real Time

Dear Real Time,
You have a real time problem here. Thai people do not have the pressing need to watch the clock the way foreigners do. You should explain to her that you are not checking up on her as this is certainly not good for any relationship, but that you are just worried for her safety, which is something Thai people do understand and appreciate. You should also make sure she takes a mobile phone with her. Buy her one if she hasn’t got one already. They are cheap enough these days and will save you hours of agonizing.
Dear Hillary,
We are looking at buying some furniture for the bedroom, but when we go to the store and look at what is there, they tell us that we cannot take the actual wardrobe we see there in the shop and want, as it comes in a kit form. I am hopeless at this construction sort of thing, and my husband not much better. Have you any answer for us? Or is it DIY lessons out here for everyone?
Constructionally Challenged

Dear Constructionally Challenged,
Time you went to another furniture shop my Petal. You do not have to assemble the furniture yourself, but your agreed price at the end of all the toing and froing, will include delivery and assembly. If the shop you have been looking in doesn’t explain this to you properly, then it is time to find one that does not suggest you buy a full kit of screwdrivers as well. Hillary had some wardrobes delivered the other day and they assembled both in under one hour, cleaned the room afterwards and even took the packing away. I gave the men a small tip, I was so pleased with what they had done. (Only small, mind you, on my salary I can’t even afford chocolates this week, and champagne is out of the question!)
Dear Hillary,
I live overseas, but I read your column on the internet version. I like the way you have very practical advice, even though sometimes your barbed tongue hides the real meaning for a while till you read it again. I am coming over to Thailand for two months at the beginning of March next year and I would like to go touring all over the place, but since I can’t speak Thai I will need a guide. Do you know of any places that would supply such a person or are the girls that work in the bars suitable and trustworthy for this kind of thing?
Terry

Dear Terry,
Open your wallet and say after me, “Help yourself.” Tell me you are not that silly. While I thank you for the kind words, surely if you are a regular reader you will have understood there are hazardous ways of getting things done in this country, and you are suggesting one. There are plenty of guided tours in all the tourist spots in Thailand - use them. As another thought - you have four months before you come. You could get intensive Thai lessons in your home country and be able to fend for yourself a little better when you come over. I think you need all the help you can get.


Personal Directions: 24-Hour effort to change your life forever

by Christina Dodd

Are you willing try a little 24-hour experiment that may change your life forever?

I have written many, many times on the power of developing and employing a Positive Mental Attitude – PMA. Each time I do so I receive emails requesting more information as to How to Practically use this power in every day life. So this week – in response to requests and further to answer those critics who say that PMA is all “bah humbug”, I have provided you with some homework! Not a hand numbing hundred lines saying that you will be a better person, but rather a set a practical non-intrusive exercises which each and every one of you can benefit from.

In the next 24 hours try to make a serious effort to eliminate any negative feeling you have - towards others, towards work, towards life. Whenever you feel anything of the sort, stop it immediately. Even if you just think something negative, catch yourself and stop the thought. Then see if life responds to your effort sometime soon thereafter; i.e. be observant of any sudden positive life response to your inner change.

Now watch yourself even more closely. If even the slightest negative thought about anything crosses your mind, catch it and stop it immediately. This might be pretty tough because we are constantly having negative thoughts. You will thus be fully engaged. As you become vigilant of your negative thoughts and expressions in the course of the day, you may be quite surprised how often you feel this way. Don’t be upset because we are all pretty much this way.

While you’re at it, consider any impulsive actions you take in the course of a day. Be observant of any sudden actions or impulsive reactions that you take during the day. Note each time how the act did not receive the proper amount of thought and consideration that would have prevented such a reflexive reaction. Also note how this impulse takes you away from the important tasks at hand. Now that you have clearly observed your behavior, catch yourself the next time.

Then, if you think you are up for it, try to turn any long term bad will you might have toward any persons, and neutralize it. Better still, turn any sort of bad will and turn it into a sincere goodwill toward that person. Also, think of all the people you know or work with and within yourself wish them the best of fortune. Really feel this. Then find out in the days that follow if anything significant happened to these individuals. Don’t be surprised if you discover that good or great news or fortune came that person’s way.

Of course, if you can develop a certain level of stillness and calm in your being, it will certainly give a support for right actions on all of these fronts. How then to achieve such a state of calm?

Of course, there are many ways.

Try this one:

First, sit quietly, gather yourself, concentrate, and try to sense and feel your inner being inside you. Make the conscious effort to move away from the surface of things, and shift your center of consciousness within, into the depths of your being. Then try to remain at this level in the course of the rest of the day; even after you are disturbed by outer circumstances and events.

From such an inner poise you can now function much better in the world. You will have a calm, which will enable you to see the big picture from moment to moment; which will enable you to feel the varying forces and possibilities in the atmosphere; which will enable you to be more in tune with others and with everything going on around you.

If you are lucky you might even perceive an inner peace, and further still even a connection with your inner soul being; the personal soul force that joined you at birth, and is spiritually guiding your life from within.

Now shift your focus outward and observe if life is starting to respond positively to your inner efforts. Be observant of any sudden positive responses that come towards you; a sudden call with good news; or something in the mail that is uplifting; or a new opportunity that arises. Such good or great fortune will appear to come from out of nowhere, but you will clearly sense its connection to your inner efforts. The response can come from across the globe, or from across the room. It may amaze you, defying your normal perceptions of what is logical, what should be the normal workings of cause and effect.

If, in addition, you are also of the spiritual bent, you can perceive a Force, a spirit, above and around you that you can open to, that you can call to enable even more positive occurrences and “life responses” in the course of your day. If you offer an event that is about to begin to this Force, you will see how life will respond positively in kind; how smoothly and wonderfully the event will go. You may also sense a sense of peace, harmony, and deeper insight, which are spiritual responses in addition to the material responses.

Can you live this way for 24 hours? Are you willing to make this small, token effort, so that you can perceive a deeper consciousness within yourself; so that you can experience how everything in life is interconnected; so that you can open the portals of life and release its infinite potentials and possibilities?

Is it not worth making this single one day effort to be reborn into a new way of living; to change your life forever?

If you wish to talk further on matters of personal and self development, or on matters that concern your business, the effectiveness and needs of your staff, then please contact me at Asia Training Associates – email: christina.dodd@ atasiam.com.

For details on our programs and our company, please visit our website: www.asiatrainingassociates.com


Social Commentary by Khai Khem: Horsing around in Pattaya ain’t what it used to be

I got a big kick out of Willi Netzer’s story “My first horse in Pattaya” published in Pattaya Mail issue October 3. I hate to date myself like this but I also remember what Pattaya and Jomtien was like 20 years ago, and there actually WERE horses in the area Willi wrote about. I’m not sure I ever saw Willi and his horse cavorting on Jomtien Beach, but I might have. In those days that area was what some of us would call pristine and unspoiled. On most days a Western resident on Jomtien Beach was a rare sight. One riding a bucking horse in the surf must have thrown the local beachcombers into fits of laughter and awed amazement.

I specify that only “some of us” regarded the Jomtien Beach area as a place of natural beauty, untouched by overbuilding and commercialism. Today’s tourists and residents would have labeled it a wilderness not fit to visit and certainly no place to live a life of ease. Now the area is a commercial city unto itself with modern housing, shopping and vibrant nightlife.

The area that Willi wrote about was once undeveloped and very natural. In those days I lived in Bangkok during the week to avail myself of a few modern conveniences - a bank that actually did telex transfers (yes, readers, there really was life before Internet and computers), a telephone which could call out of Thailand, and toilets that flushed without spewing in my face. But I kept a rough little cottage in North Pattaya to escape the big city and managed to finagle a break on most weekends and holidays.

Riding my motorcycle to Jomtien Beach was a real excursion which entailed packing a lunch bag full of food and drinks and an extra can of benzene in case my moped ran out of juice. The ‘road’ along Jomtien Beach was a stretch of unpaved dirt that skirted long lines of swaying palm trees. Un-tethered water buffaloes were often seen meandering down the shoreline or munching on scrub grass as the hot sun cooled.

There were days when I was the only person on the beach except for a few local villagers netting tiny fish that swam close to the shore and a group that regularly scooped mussels and clams from the sand during the tide change. They paid me no mind as I sun-bathed and flipped through magazines and scanned the odd novel. I never actually lost myself in a good book. Instead, I acquired the skill of reading with one eye while I scanned for the buffaloes, since some of them were bad-tempered and very territorial. I’ve been charged by unfriendly bovines so many times that I’m ready to scamper at a moment’s notice. There’s a look in the eye and body-stance that says, “Here I come. Don’t let the sun set on your beach towel.”

Years later Jomtien Beach saw a few more tourists and Bangkokians who braved the still unpaved road and who came to appreciate the wide stretch of beach, the solitude and the fabulous sunsets. A sprinkle of noodle shops cropped up and some enterprising women performed relaxing body massage and sold fruit and refreshments. A couple of wizened old men turned up with skinny, placid ponies and for a small charge gave children a delightful chance to ride along the seashore. Occasionally a pink farang would pay for a ride, and the poor beast would oblige, as the Westerner, astride the swayback horse, would turn visibly scarlet in the blazing sun.

One of the most wonderful and exotic sights on Jomtien Beach in those days was when young, exuberant mahouts would take their elephants down to the seashore and wade in and go swimming. One day I watched a mahout and his charge cavorting in the shallows not far from shore - the mahout was hanging on for dear life on the elephant’s back and the jumbo was swimming and spouting water from his trunk. The pair was having so much fun that a crowd of gaping onlookers had lined the shore to watch the show.

My curiosity and an urge to join them became so strong I summoned up my courage and walked into the water. As I gingerly approached the pair I asked the mahout if I could join the fun. “No problem,” he said, “but just be careful he doesn’t trod on your feet.” Good advice, but easier given than heeded. Frolicking with a giant teenage pachyderm while trying to keep one’s head above water, and one’s bare toes out of harm’s way takes some agile coordination. I was feeling pretty proud of myself.

Suddenly I noticed an elderly German lady had terminated her sunbath and had come to join us. So now we were a party of four. With all the noise and commotion I never got a proper introduction, but when the mahout stretched out his hand and hoisted her on the elephant’s back with such ease, I gasped. By this time I’d had enough. It was finally occurring to me that I might have to ride my moped back home with a broken foot. I backed off and watched the German lady give a grand performance. Former animal trainer, English Channel swimmer, or retired trapeze artist? I never got the change to ask her.

Willi Netzer’s account of his first horse in Pattaya triggered a fit of nostalgia for all of us who remember that area the way he described. Oh, yes, we can still “horse around” in Pattaya - but it seems all the pretty ponies now have spiked high heels and are fed and watered in South Pattaya nightspots.


Woman's World: Stress Busters Part 4

by Lesley Warner

It’s interesting to note how many of my readers have commented to me regarding their own extraordinary experiences since reading about mine. The majority of people seem to be quite shy to admit experiencing anything out of the ordinary for fear of being ridiculed. One of my readers said to me last night, “Have you really done these things or are they made up?” I said to him, “I have tried many different things in my life and these are just a few, and I can assure you they are perfectly true incidents.”

As I mentioned last week, hypnosis was not for me, although one wonders how close the out of body experience with the crystal is to hypnosis.

After my experience with the crystal in my house when I truly felt that I had had an out of body experience I decided to revisit the lady. I didn’t mention this to anyone as I, like everyone else, feared ridicule. I mean you can say to anyone, “I’m going to visit a hypnotist” without too much fear of them falling off the seat laughing. But, to say, “I’m going for an out of body experience,” initiated by holding a piece of cut glass, one can forgive the laughter. Anyway, that is what I decided to do, I wanted to know if it really happened or I imagined it.

As I mentioned before I lived in a tiny village in Devon, in a small valley surrounded by woods. Personally I loved the village but many didn’t even like to visit it, they said driving down the extremely steep winding road into the village gave them the ‘creeps’. I wasn’t thinking about this as I walked down to Beth’s (the crystal lady) house even though I was a little nervous. The only sound was three screaming buzzards soaring above me, there wasn’t a soul around even though it was 10 a.m., it was cold and I could see the waves hitting the rocks, shooting up the spray. It was a lovely morning.

With hindsight, thinking about Beth, she was a little strange to say the least but very pleasant. She lived in a huge house with a very large young woman that never said a word and did the gardening, plus 4 dogs, 7 cats and a mentally retarded man she took care of. He was 36 but had the mind of a 5 year old. She collected antiques so the house was full of interesting articles. It sounds like something from a storybook but it’s quite true.

She knew I was coming and showed me through to a small building in the back garden. I noticed that the garden was completely overshadowed by the woods looming above. I felt that possibly my curiosity for the unknown was going too far she was so quiet and intense but I was too embarrassed to turn and run. She sat me down in a room that had little in it to comment on, just two chairs: hers and mine. She told me to relax and gave me a crystal. She talked to me once again in her dulcet tones and told me to make my way to the door in the top of my head. I was finding it more difficult this time, probably because I was more conscious of what she was doing, whereas before I had no idea and thought I was just holding a crystal and talking. This time I was fully aware of her intentions. I tried to relax and concentrate on her words; suddenly I seemed to be outside myself again.

I told her and she said, “What can you see?”

At first I said, “Nothing, just darkness,” and then I said, “I can see me.”

She said, “What are you doing?”

I answered, “I’m laying on the floor in the woods, I’m in a white dress my arms are around a huge tree.”

She said, “How do you feel?”

I said, “I don’t know, sort of lost, scared, I want to stop.”

She said, “OK come back slowly.”

I was back, I opened my eyes and felt a surge of relief and knew that I would never have the wish to experience this again, and I never have. That was 20 years ago.

I asked Beth, “Why did I have this strange view of myself?” She said she had to admit that she didn’t know. I was quite subdued when I made my way back to my cottage and for 2 days I pondered on my ‘vision’. In the end I painted a picture of what I had seen and showed it to my husband. He said it was very strange that I could paint a view of myself from so far above if I hadn’t seen it.

Still to this day writing about it I don’t feel comfortable and have no idea what happened but I know that I still don’t want to do it again.