HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:

Family Money

Snap Shots

Modern Medicine

Heart to Heart with Hillary

A Slice of Thai History

Bits ‘n’ Bobs

Animal Crackers

Personal Directions

Social Commentary by Khai Khem

Roll over Rover

The Message In The Moon

PC Basics

Women’s World

Family Money: Baht Investments

By Leslie Wright,
Managing director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd.

I am often asked how to invest into the international markets using accumulated Thai baht. There are basically two ways.

The first involves getting your bank to exchange your Thai baht into hard currency and remitting this to a suitable offshore investment institution. (Your financial adviser will help you identify which institutions are the most appropriate for your circumstances.) Some local banks undertake this exercise more readily than others; some still use the excuse of having to seek Central Bank of Thailand approval to remit foreign exchange out of the country, telling you it will take 4-6 weeks to obtain the required Tor.Tor.5 permit after showing your Tor.Tor.4 form evidencing your having remitted the money into Thailand in the first place. Very tiresome if you’re banking with one of these recalcitrant banks who never want to let go of your money.

FIFs
The second way is by investing into the recently-launched Foreign Investment Funds (FIFs), which can be bought in the form of unit trusts from five approved asset management companies. Indeed, these FIFs are the only way that Thais are permitted to invest outside Thailand.

During the Asian economic crisis in 1997, the local stock market crashed, corporate bonds defaulted, and many local financial companies collapsed. The Thai baht lost almost half its value against the US dollar in a very short period, and many wealthy Thai investors lost nearly everything. To curb further speculation and regulate capital flows, the Bank of Thailand banned Thais from investing abroad.

But recently, rays of light have been breaking through the storm clouds: the local economy has started to recover, and the SET has gained significantly this year - in contrast to most major markets of the world.

The austerity measures and restraints implemented by the government after the crisis of 1997 have enabled the Bank of Thailand to build up a strong cash reserve position.

As a result, local investors for the first time are being afforded the opportunity to invest in overseas exchanges via FIFs. The BoT will allow FIFs to invest a total of US$200 million this year: up to US$100 million in the first half, with another US$50 million in each of the third and fourth quarters.

These funds not only represent a new option for investors, but also a chance for local professionals to expand their experience in managing funds in overseas markets.

So, if you are a Thai looking to diversify your portfolio by investing on Wall Street, London or Hong Kong, or are an expat who has somehow accumulated oodles of baht that you’re looking to invest in something more sensible than a beer bar, now you can by buying units of these FIFs.

Different strokes
There are five FIFs, managed by five asset-management companies which have been approved by the Securities & Exchange Commission: Thai Farmers Asset Management, One Asset Management, ING Mutual Funds Management, Ayudhya JF Asset Management and MFC Asset Management. Each FIF will focus on a different area.

Thai Farmers Asset Management will launch ‘The Ruang Khao Global Balanced Fund’. This will be a global balanced fund investing in bonds and stocks. With a balanced fund, managers have high flexibility in changing portfolio allocations to match market trends and pursue maximum returns.

ING Asset Management is launching ‘ING Thai Asian USD Bond Fund’. This FIF will focus on high-yield, highly-rated US dollar-denominated Asian corporate and sovereign bonds. The fund has the lowest minimum investment of all five FIFs at just B2,000.

Ayudhya JF Asset Management will manage ‘The Global Converse Table Bond Fund’ which focuses on convertible bonds. This approach offers investors the steady returns of bonds as well as the potential gains from equities.

One Asset Management is launching ‘The Global Balanced Fund of Funds’ which will focus on both equity and debt investments. The firm’s advisers - Frank Russell Investments, Morgan Stanley Dean Witter and Deutsche Asset Management - are all expert asset managers, providing confidence in the fund’s potential long-term performance.

MFC Asset Management is launching ‘The MFC Global Equity Fund’ - the only one of the five to focus purely on equity stocks. The company’s investment partner is Wellington Management.

The funds will be relatively small by international standards, having initial investment capitalisation of US$20 million each, expandable by up to an additional US$20 million through offerings in the third and fourth quarter of 2002.

Some 60% of the units will be offered to institutions such as the Government Pension Fund, local provident mutual funds and the Social Welfare Fund. Remaining units will be offered to banks, finance and securities firms, insurance firms and retail investors.

Risk & reward
Investors need to consider whether it is better to leave their money in savings accounts which presently receive low interest rates of about 1.75% or invest it elsewhere for a potentially better return.

While FIFs provide local investors with international diversification and increased options in managing their money, punters should understand the risks that accompany such investments. Not only the potential volatility of the markets in which each FIF invests, but also the foreign-exchange risks involved. If the baht weakens, potentially higher gains are to be made. But if the baht strengthens, then you could suffer exchange-rate losses.

The most important point to consider is the type of fund (whether a FIF or an offshore investment) which is suitable for your investment objectives and risk profile. A FIF - like any bond or equity fund - should be considered a medium to long-term investment. As with any long-term investment, diversification is an important consideration, in order to spread potential risks and lower volatility of your portfolio. The old adage of ‘not putting all your eggs in one basket’ but spreading your nest egg amongst all five FIFs might be a prudent approach.

If investors were unable to obtain units in the initial FIF public offering (which started in May), they have the opportunity of purchasing FIF unit trusts on the SET. But as none of these funds can be bought through financial advisers, you have to approach the fund management firms directly. More information can be obtained from their websites:

www.tfam.co.th
www.ingfundsthai.com
www.ajffunds.com
www.one-asset.com
www.mfcfund.com

Snap Shot: Painting with light

by Harry Flashman

The true “definition” of photography has often been said as “painting with light” and for Harry Flashman, this concept of painting with light is one of the more exciting aspects of photography. It is also something that even the weekend photographer can experiment with and produce photographs that will amaze you with their ability to leap off the paper.

The secret of painting with light is to remember that all photographs should have a mixture of light, and its opposite, called “shadow”. Blasting the subject with a sea of light produces flat, wishy-washy photographs. To produce prints with depth requires shadow. Just as when you look at a house, the sun casts a shadow which gives the house depth, as well as height and width. Depth is the 3rd dimension, and without it you only have a 2 dimensional flat image. Say again to yourself - depth needs shadow - shadow gives depth.

Now getting back to the job of taking photographs and painting with a bit of light. The usual light source is the one I call the Great Celestial Light Technician. This is more commonly referred to as the sun. Now the sun will supply enough light to illuminate half the world at one sitting, so there’s plenty of power and then some.

However, that sunlight is not all that suitable for most of the waking day. Why? Because when the sun is directly overhead, you do not get nice shadows - the things that are needed to give depth to the shot. In the early mornings or late afternoons, when the sun is closer to the horizon, the shadows are longer, more visible and give more depth. So as well as being a more flattering light in the golden glow afternoons, the sun is at a better angle to give good shadows. So to improve your daytime shots only shoot between sunrise and 9 a.m. or 4 p.m. till sunset.

Do not be afraid to let shadow into the shot. Position your subject so that they are not square on to the sun, but let the light come from about 45 degrees across the subject. Shadow adds mystery. Shadow adds that extra something. Use it!

Now let’s look at when you provide the principal source of light. After dark photography. Now there are actually many sources of light after dark - there is the electronic flash, both the “on camera” type and the off camera type, there are tungsten studio lights, there are tungsten spotlights (like the garden varieties), there are street lights, neon lights and even car lights. All these light sources are at you beck and call, and all (other than the on camera flash) can work for you to produce great shots.

Many of you have a small flash unit that slips on to the “shoe” on the top of your camera. Do not use it there! Go and invest in a remote shoe. This comes with some electric cord that plugs into the camera body and has a shoe plate at the end of it that slips over the foot of your flash. You can buy extension cords too, and I would advise getting one about 3 metres long. Now you can position your subject anywhere you like and let the flash come down upon the subject at 45 degrees and you will get a much better photograph than the straight on flash on top of camera shot. Try it.

For something a little more adventurous, let the flash burst come from the side of the subject. With people this is called “hatchet lighting” as one side of the face will be lit and the other side will be in darkness.

More adventurous again is to place some coloured cellophane over the flash head and illuminate the subject from side on. You will get, for example with red cellophane, a red and black person. Sounds a bit strange, I admit, but we are looking for an effect here.

Get the idea? Experiment, have fun and explore the shadows!

Modern Medicine: The Shivering Bits

by Dr Iain Corness, Consultant

I “picked up a bait” last week. Went to bed feeling a little “off” and woke up half an hour later with an urgency to go to the toilet which could not be denied! After visiting the loo three times in the first hour, being the well prepared doctor that I am, I went to the medicine chest to grab some Imodium or Lomotil, those magic medications that are the next best thing to a cork. Needless to say there were none as I had not replaced the last lot! Consequently, that same urgency lasted all night, with regular half hourly ensuite journeys.

The scenario, as painted above, is typical of a food poisoning case. The body knows it has a problem and does its level best to expel the problem. Noisily! (And with malodour!)

There are those that say you benefit from a good “cleanout” but I am not so sure. Whilst I am certainly now sparkling clean from the back of my tonsils to my back side it has left me feeling weak and exhausted and decidedly not thinking that this episode has been beneficial. As for those who front up regularly for a colonic washout - count me out, as Sam Goldwyn once said.

So what is this diarrhoea disease? Well, the first thing is that it is not a disease - it is a symptom. Diarrhoea, that certain looseness of the bowels can be caused by a virus, a bacterium, stress, antibiotics and a host of other conditions, including cancer. However, the vast majority of cases of acute diarrhoea are a simple infection and self limiting - in other words, you will get over it (just as I did). An exception should be stated here, as acute diarrhoea in young children should not be ignored as it can be fatal.

Chronic diarrhoea is a different matter. Recurrent chronic diarrhoea should never be ignored as this can be caused by much more important, and dangerous conditions. Blood with the diarrhoea makes it even more imperative that you seek advice, diagnosis and treatment and not just swallow a handful of pills every couple of days. The causes here may include alcohol, thyroid problems, pancreatic problems, celiac disease, colonic cancer, parasitic infections etc, etc, etc. Again, not the conditions you would want to choose for yourself and definitely not cured by Imodium!

The investigations necessary to diagnose the cause of chronic diarrhoea are as varied as the causes themselves. It will be necessary to do complete blood testing, covering liver, pancreas and thyroid, as well as the standard full blood count. Examination of the stool is also required, both through the microscope and attempting to culture (grow) any bugs. This is also not just one stool specimen, but generally one a day for three days. It will also be likely that we will have to pass the “black snake” up your bottom, more properly called a flexible sigmoidoscope and probably snip a couple of pieces of tissue as well as biopsy material to be examined under the microscope.

The treatment of chronic diarrhoea depends upon the cause, though the simple symptomatic treatment (Imodium/Lomotil) can be used while awaiting the results of the further testing, but I cannot stress enough that all cases of chronic diarrhoea must be thoroughly investigated. All cases!

Heart to Heart with Hillary

Dear Hillary,

I am a recently single youngish male in Pattaya and was wondering just where I am going wrong looking for love here? For a start I am fairly trim definetely (sic) not Charles Atlas, I dress and take care in my apperance (sic) both hygeinic (sic) and clothes wise, have a head of hair that I always keep trimmed and sort of looking good and am still left on the shelf? Hillary from what I can see and I am going to try it out I am going to first grow a beer gut, then by (sic) a Singha beer vest 2 sizes too small, start going bald but try to hide it with a comb over, wear a pair of oversized shorts with sandles (sic) but the finale would be to compliment my sandles (sic) with a nice pair of black socks pulled up to the knees. Seriously Hillary do I really need to be a badly dressed old codger to find love in Pattaya? Hoping you can help me.

Mick

Dear Mick,

You certainly have a bundle of troubles, don’t you Petal? After re-reading your letter, I wonder if the biggest problem you have is that you cannot spell. It really makes me wonder about you native English speakers. You should be proud of your language, not trying to assassinate it. But back to your problem. On reading yet again (see Mick, I do take your problems very seriously), if you have that much trouble spelling, perhaps you are tongue-tied as well? This can be an enormous problem when looking for love. You really are a little young I fear. Perhaps you should wait until you are old enough to wear an Arthur Scargill comb-over, so that you understand what really happens in the Pattaya love stakes. I also feel the Singha beer vest and the black socks and sandals (not “sandles”, Precious) are a little wide of the mark.

Dear Hillary,

My Thai girlfriend is thinking about moving in with me, but I am a little worried. Not about her, but about her family. I hear all these stories which say live several hundred kilometres away from the family or they come and stay and you never get rid of them. I have a studio unit in town and her family lives in Rayong so this could be quite a problem. Should I tell the GF that I am having second thoughts, or should I say nothing and just hope that nothing happens?

Worried Willy

Dear WW,

It’s quite obvious you are having second thoughts, WW, but why? You have heard all the stories, and Thai families do believe in sharing, so there is the potential, and it is only a short ride on a song taew from Rayong to your unit. Probably the hardest aspect will be house training the buffalo, provided you can get it in past security. Come on, Worried Willy, are you a man or are you a mouse? Set the ground rules first or spend the rest of your time eating cheese and going squeak, squeak. Hillary just loves these dynamic decision makers!

Dear Hillary,

Why does everyone take life so seriously in Pattaya? Every week it is a case of “Should I do this?” or “Should I do that?” Don’t these people realise that all they have to do is nothing and the large proportion of the problems will just go away. So Dow can’t make up her mind. Don’t try and influence her to choose you instead of the German guy, just sit tight and see what happens. It will be a go or no-go principle. You don’t have to do anything. I have always found that this approach has many benefits. First you save on phone calls and flowers. Second, you save yourself for someone who really deserves you. Why, oh why, Hillary don’t they understand?

The Engineer

Dear Engineer,

Masterful inactivity is what you are proposing, my Petal, and while it may seem like good advice it denies one thing. And what’s that I hear you say. It’s that 4 letter word called “love” and is something that has escaped your cold logical engineering eye. Love cannot be measured in millimetres, weighed in ounces or unwrapped and sliced. It defies logic and for many caught in this situation it can be a most traumatic time, and that’s why they write to Hillary. Did they call you “Engineer” because you’re always making a bolt for the door? It wouldn’t surprise me. It will take quite some woman to get your heart out of cold storage! And for that matter, who deserves a tiresome, egotistical somebody like you?

Dear Hillary,

After a few personal tragedies I joined a spiritual church in the UK and have found this to be a constant source of renewable energy. Are there any similar churches here?

Spiritus

Dear Spiritus,

Hillary is not aware of any dedicated “spiritual” churches in Pattaya, but there are quite a few places you can catch up with several spirits (“Make mine Black Label, thank you barman.”) The local churches are listed in the Pattaya Mail, why don’t you give them a ring?

A Slice of Thai History: Prince Damrong: Administrator extraordinaire (Part One 1862-1897)

by Duncan Stearn

If there was one man who can be said to have substantially altered and dramatically improved the administration of Thailand during the desperate years of the late 19th and early 20th centuries, it was Prince Damrong Rajanubhab.

His legacy was so profound that in 1962, on the 100th anniversary of his birth, he became the first Thai to be included on UNESCO’s list of the World’s Most Important Persons.

The son of King Mongkut (Rama IV), Prince Damrong was born in Bangkok on June 21, 1862.

He received his elementary schooling from tutors in the Grand Palace, studying Pali with monks and English with Francis George Patterson. After a stint as a novice monk he spent two years at the Royal Military Academy, after which he was appointed a lieutenant in the Royal Pages’ Bodyguard Regiment in 1877.

At the age of 18, he was appointed commander of the Royal Pages’ Bodyguard Regiment and later went on to administer a series of government and military schools while also aiding in the reorganisation of the Thai army.

In 1887, aged only 25, Prince Damrong was appointed as the first Chief-of-Staff of the Thai army while in 1890 he was made director and minister-designate of the Department of Education.

It was in the latter capacity that Damrong became aware of the fact that many children learnt to read and write at a slow pace because they had to leave school for extended periods of time in order to help their families with the planting and harvesting of rice.

In response, Prince Damrong re-wrote the official school textbook and then tested its efficacy on his own children. The Rapid Learning primer helped students to master basic reading skills within six months.

King Chulalongkorn’s half-brother Prince Devawongse had travelled to Europe at the behest of the monarch to study European forms of government and how their institutions might be usefully applied to the administration of Thailand.

Devawongse returned with a proposal for a cabinet style of government consisting of 12 functionally different ministries. The plan was approved although there was some delay in its implementation as King Chulalongkorn was compelled to bide his time and wait for some of his long-time ministers and advisers to either retire or die.

The King began replacing them with men who owed their allegiance to him and by 1888, he had achieved his goal of taking control of every key position in the government.

During 1891, Prince Damrong went on a tour of Europe and southern Asia as the representative of King Chulalongkorn. Included in his trip was a visit to the Czar of Russia. Upon his return he expected to be given the post of Minister of Education, but was made head of the new Ministry of Public Instruction instead.

During his tenure he established the Military Cadet, Police Cadet and Suan Kularb School’s and was instrumental in the development of Siriraj Hospital.

Then, in March 1892, in a surprise move the King made him Interior Minister.

He was charged with the daunting task of overseeing the complete overhaul and modernisation of the provincial administration of Thailand. Far-sighted and intelligent, Prince Damrong spent the next few years instituting a new central bureaucratic structure that involved a radical policy shift, employing graduates of educational institutions on their merits rather than their social standing and status. In theory, public office now became open to men of talent, regardless of social origin, although in practice it was still difficult for the lower classes to move through the ranks into the upper echelons of the public service.

Over time, Damrong reorganised the way in which the provinces were governed. Thailand was consolidated into 18 administrative ‘circles’ with tighter budgetary and fiscal controls. The administrator greatly reduced the autonomy of provincial governments, promoted public works and social services. Tax revenues from the provinces tripled.

The Ministry of Education also took upon itself the task of introducing primary education throughout the country as well as the reorganisation of the Sangha, the Buddhist monkhood.

Bits ‘n’ Bobs

Animal Crackers: Blue Jays - Cheeky Blue Comics

By Mirin E Mc Carthy

Blue Jays are one of the cheekiest, noisiest, intelligent and most colourful birds of backyards. Coloured a distinctive bright blue above with black face marks and black and white pattern in their wings, their light violet blue crests of head feathers, erected when courting or aggressive, otherwise lie flat lending a dishevelled appearance.

Range and Habitat
The Blue Jay is one of the most widespread members of the Corvidae family (which includes ravens, magpies, and crows). They are relatively large (about 30 cm or 12 inches from bill to tail) when compared to most of the other perching birds. They are found in such diverse areas as the Canadian and North American forests, the Siberian taiga, the rain forests of Thailand and woodlands of the U.K. Often wary, typically one first notices a jay dashing through the trees uttering harsh screams of alarm. Not considered migratory most jays live year round in their chosen territory. Their wings make them unfit for extended flight. While preferring oak, and beech forests, today jays can be found in many places from deep forests to suburban gardens.

Calls
Great imitators, Blue Jays are capable of a wide variety of sounds. In addition to the frequent loud “jay, yay, jay” they make a fair copy of the scream of a red-shouldered hawk, other harsh notes and growls, also bell-like calls and melodious whistles when courting. During about three quarters of the year jays are extremely conspicuous, noisy and even aggressive birds. As the breeding season nears they suddenly become silent, preparing the nest in the most secluded parts of native forests, and exercising all their cunning to keep it hidden.

Diet
Omnivorous, mainly vegetarians in the winter, jays eat many kinds of nuts and seeds, including acorns, beechnuts, grain, berries, and small fruit. Seasonally they dine on insects, especially caterpillars, beetles, and grasshoppers. They also favour snails, small rodents, frogs, birds’ eggs, baby birds, and carrion. The Jay is a professional nest robber, and other birds are watchful of them, especially robins who drive them from the neighborhood. As aggressive as blue jays are, their slow flight and relatively large size makes them easy prey for hawks and owls. Like their cousins, jays also display their antipathy to these predators by harassing sleeping owls from their daylight perches. Crows too are known to mob owls.

Planting Acorns
The jay is one of the most important natural planters of acorns and the distribution of several oak species is dependent on it. Jays, who store seeds and acorns in holes in the ground, are very beneficial and are actually responsible for many trees and forests. On occasions, jays become bold, visiting garden bird tables for scraps, favouring sunflower seeds and peanuts. It will stuff a whole peanut down its throat and fly off with the next one to bury it.

Nesting
Jays will not nest in a bird box but build their open bulky cup nests high up in the trees 2 to 10 meters above ground. Built of twigs, weeds, bark strips, lined with grass and mud, their nests are often decorated with paper, rags, string or other debris.

Chicks
Jays mate for life and lay 3-7, brown speckled greenish eggs. The female does most of the incubation for about 16 days while the male brings food constantly. The nestlings, grey coloured until they get their adult feathers, fly the nest 17-21 days after hatching.

Young jays commonly collect brightly colored objects like bottle caps and pieces of foil and carry them around for a while. Sometimes they try to peck open these finds, or use them as platforms and simply sit on top of them until bored.

Blue jays are among the most colourful and intelligent back yard visitors. Supply water for drinking and splashing and the odd peanut or three and sit back and enjoy watching these great little comics.

Personal Directions: The Power of Touch Part One

by Christina Dodd, founder and managing director 
of Incorp Training Associates

Last week I was waiting to meet a colleague at a restaurant and so I sat in the lounge area to relax a little before he arrived. While sitting there I took some moments to observe the young woman who was greeting guests as they entered the restaurant. It was plain to see that she took her job rather seriously as she gave a very nice smile and courteous “wai” to the guests. Although they were coming in a steady stream every two or three minutes, she was still able to offer a warm and sincere greeting.

But she may as well have been talking to pieces of cardboard! Almost every single person she greeted, except for a small handful, just looked at her (or through her) without any expression. Not one word was uttered in response to her greeting. She didn’t even exist. She was not important.

How many times have you and I seen this, I said to myself. This kind of behaviour is with us constantly. We live this way every day - not giving importance to others, not acknowledging others and therefore not accepting them. Most of us fall into this category from time to time and we lapse into the easy pattern of not considering the people around us. We forget they are people just like us and that they have feelings and emotions.

If you think of all the times in your day when you are in contact with people that you don’t know and even know - how do you relate to them when you first see them? When I think of that episode at the restaurant, it didn’t need to happen that way. It would have taken a second to smile or return her greeting. It wouldn’t have caused the roof to fall in just to acknowledge her existence with a polite nod of the head. It would have been so easy to be pleasant.

Some people might say, “Why be nice to people - they’re never nice back.” Or “Why should I say hello to the guy who fills my car at the Caltex?” Well if you think this way you have really lost the plot. A little human kindness, given with sincerity, can work wonders in terms of relationships. And it’s all got to start from somewhere. We all have to make the effort - rich man, poor man - regardless of colour, culture, race, religion, education, social standing, profession, etc. Everyone has this responsibility.

Christina can be contacted by email at christina.dodd @incorptraining.com or directly at Incorp Training Associates in Bangkok. Tel: (02) 6521867-8 or Fax: (02) 6521870. Programs and services can be found at the Incorp website www.incorptraining.com

(Continued next week)

Social Commentary by Khai Khem

Everybody has a ‘hidden’ talent

I’ve found that lots of these hidden talents are not the ones that are going to make us rich and famous. The ones I find so interesting are the little tricks and actions that one doesn’t usually even think about, or brag about.

On occasion I shop with a neighbor who piles her shopping cart high with a month’s supply of food and household items. This lady doesn’t drive in Pattaya’s traffic anymore. She is so ill-coordinated that after a number of fend-benders her husband finally hired a chauffeur. But on the weekends she can maneuver a heavy cart around the human traffic in a hypermarket like a Formula One race driver. She snatches things off the shelves and flings them into the basket without slowing for a moment, never jostling customers in the aisles.

I can’t seem to walk past a shelf without knocking something from it, and when shopping for clothes, boutique clerks know exactly where I’ve been from the trail of wearing apparel lying on the floor having slipped from the hangers.

Another person I know is good at finding lost articles, like a gold earring in a shag carpet or a misplaced wallet in a crowded subway, a wedding ring in the muddy bottom of a lake.

During a lull at a rather boring party, I brought this subject up and it seems a lot of people are hiding their lights under a bushel basket.

One gentleman explained that he can sometimes drive all the way from Pattaya to Bangkok without hitting his brakes. This is a real challenge for him and he admitted it is not always possible, but he always tries. He simply relaxes into the traffic flow, stays alert, accelerates or decelerates according to the cars around him and since his car has a 5-speed manual gear-box, he down-shifts or shifts up to maintain speed.

The party really started to pick-up. Our hostess went into the kitchen and came back with 4 apples and began to expertly juggle them. Very impressed, we all wanted to try. She let me do the honors first. After a few tries Fumble Fingers Me merely turned 4 luscious apples into apple sauce.

Another member of our group said he had an incredible sense of smell and could tell what everyone was cooking in his apartment building for dinner in the evening. I made a skeptical remark and he got up and went to every woman in the room and identified the name of each lady’s perfume. I backed off, retreated into silence and went into the kitchen to find more apples to practice juggling with.

One man said he wasn’t sure if this was a talent, but he told us he can fall asleep anywhere, any time, no matter how much confusion or noise the environment offers. He said he has fallen asleep in bowling alleys, naps on a bench on Silom Road in Bangkok while waiting for a bus, and once napped half-way through the opening of the bullfights in Madrid after purchasing expensive tickets behind the president’s box. He falls asleep every night as soon as his head hits the pillow. For anyone who has every suffered from insomnia, I reckon this is a talent.

Another guest, an elderly woman, said she never forgets a name or a face of anyone she has ever met. That, readers is a real talent and a lot of corporate executives go through training seminars in order to acquire that enviable trait. I’d mention her name in this column, but I didn’t quite catch it when we were introduced.

Since I started this little game, it was finally turned on me. As all eyes on the room bored into mine, I felt panic and my mind reeled. It was my ‘turn in the barrel’ and I couldn’t think of a single wacky thing one could call a hidden talent. At least not one I wanted to be revealed. Remember that I opened this column by mentioning that most of these talents are not the ones that make us rich and famous. Mine could probably make me rich, and infamous, but would certainly be rewarded with a long jail sentence.

My hidden talent is that I can forge almost anyone’s signature well enough for it to pass on a check at their bank or on legal documents. At least once.

Under less scrutiny and during odd moments of whimsy, I have often surprised people by this little trick to the point that they really looked worried. Sometimes it takes more time than others, but usually in a few tries I can get it right. I can even do it in foreign language script and characters such as Japanese and Arabic. How? I have no idea. I cannot draw so much as a primitive picture in the most childish style. But for some reason, stylized personal signatures are a piece of cake.

So what happened at the party? I finally found 3 tiny oranges in the back of my hostess’ fridge and managed to keep them all in the air for a few seconds. I took a bow, and was let off the hook.

Roll over Rover: Obedient dogs are happy dogs

by C. Schloemer

I recently attended a dinner party at a home on Jomtien Beach. My hosts were Bangkokians and the occasion was the beginning of Buddhist Lent. I was the first guest to arrive, and as I entered the front door I was met by 4 large and graceful Greyhounds. Then my hostess quietly spoke to them. All she said was “places”. Four elegant and well behaved dogs quickly scurried to each one’s own section of the kitchen and plopped down in complete contentment.

Needless to say, I was impressed. Young Greyhounds are bouncy, active ‘bowl ‘em over’ doggies. Surprisingly, they make terrific house pets. However, since they are sight hounds, off the leash they will chase anything that moves. Built for speed, owners absolutely must have complete voice control over Greyhounds since very few are prepared to chase after them.

My friend is a mother of four and her aging parents live with her. Her father is over 70 years old, and her mother refuses to tell. In order to assimilate into this large and diversified family, four large dogs had to be trained to behave. When the other guests arrived, the dogs remained in their places and the dinner guests completely forgot there were dogs in the home.

After all the guests had left I got a chance to interact with the dogs and ask my friend about their training. Greyhounds are energetic and can become restless without plenty of exercise. Training 4 of them had taken hard work for many months. Since all four dogs had individual personalities, the whole family pitched in.

Each family member took on a separate command and perfected it with each dog. Then family members switched commands around until all 4 dogs obeyed everyone in the family, including the children. Now that’s what I call an organized plan.

My friend’s elderly father was assigned the “Wait” command. He still drives in Bangkok’s hair-raising traffic, and all 4 dogs learned to wait in the car, and to wait at busy intersections.

Once an owner has mastered the “Wait” command in the house, he should try using it in the car. Most dogs get pretty excited about a ride in the car. They jump in and jump out. That may be great fun for them. But you are left holding onto the leash for dear life. Don’t send the dog the wrong message. Teach him to wait until you tell him he can get in the car. Once he’s in, remember to station him for his own safety.

Take your dog into the car and give the command “Wait”. Open the door. If he jumps, say “No”. Repeat the command “Wait”. If the dog is on a zipper leash, use the zip motion and snap back gently. Remember, the choke chain or zip collar must not choke. The whole idea of the collar is the sound of the ‘zip’. It is the sound your dog responds to, not the jerk of the chain.

Once he waits on command and settles down, give the command “Okay”, and in he goes. When he is in the car, station him and give the “Stay” command. When you open the car door, repeat the “Wait” command.

A tip; do this at home in the driveway until your dog obeys without resistance or confusion. Make sure that he is responding to this command with ease before you take him out in busy traffic. If it takes 20 times or 50 times, do not get discouraged. A well trained dog is not only a happy dog, but his safety is in your hands.

The Message In The Moon: Sun in Virgo/Moon in Aquarius

by Anchalee Kaewmanee

The Innovator
In some respects this combination projects a mild-mannered Virgo who seeks conformity. Look again. That Moon in Aquarius has a far away look in the eyes which sets him or her apart from fellow Virgos. The reserved exterior that reflects caution and orthodoxy masks an inner emotional make-up that hints of mischief and rebellion. Those quick hand gestures and body movements betray a restless energy and a need for variety and originality.

The Virgo Sun personality is acutely analytical, often staid, and always prudent. The Virgo-Aquarius is blessed with a need to serve others and humanitarian leanings. The Aquarius influence produces visionaries. Individuals born under this Sun-Moon sign will be involved in activities geared to the scientific and the abstract. Their interests lie with people, social causes, the unexplored and the unknown. Imaginative and inquisitive, their dreams and ambitions are far reaching and sometimes ‘far-out’. Like most Virgos, these natives may live and work in a conventional setting. Don’t be fooled by their seemingly mundane appearance. All are mentally and spiritually rebels and innovators.

The Virgo-Aquarius is incredibly perceptive and loves to observe others from a distance. Other people’s behavior is fascinating, and since these natives all have acute insight into the human condition their observations and conclusions are accurate.

There’s a catch here. Although this Sun-Moon sign loves to peer into the heart, mind and soul of others, he or she remains slightly aloof and detached. These natives treat everyone with respect and consideration, but they are difficult to get close to. This combination doesn’t produce a truly warm and emotional personality as would a Sun or Moon found in more fiery signs like Leo or Sagittarius. Virgo is an earth sign, which is ruled by pragmatism and logic. Aquarius is often thought to be a water sign because of the portrayal of the Water-bearer. It is however, an air sign, and characteristically detached and ‘otherworldly’.

The Virgo-Aquarius is, however, extremely sensitive and highly intelligent. Natives often treat others as specimens under a microscope rather than true friends and confidants because they are so emotionally detached. Deep affection is usually reserved for ideals, goals and social causes. Their love of humanity is more academic than a’ hands-on’ approach. This does not mean they don’t care. It means they would rather take on projects with huge scope than waste their emotions on a handful of individuals.

Work for these natives is important, in fact vital. But they must have plenty of freedom and independence on the job in order to remain happy and involved. Fascination is the key to this combination, so whatever principal activities these natives are drawn into they must be afforded the leeway to use that innovative intellect and enthusiasm without getting stuck in a rut of boredom.

If drudgery sets in, they become agitated and confused. Aquarius is cursed with a tendency toward petty rages, and since this combination’s inner emotional makeup is ruled by Aquarius, being thwarted in a pursuit of great scope can provoke these individuals into tyranny toward anyone who is blocking their way. Temper tantrums, however short-lived, can definitely alienate co-workers and colleagues.

Therefore this is the combination of the specialist. Even though the Virgo-Aquarius will have interests that cover a wide range of topics and possess incredible imagination, the native born into this sign will usually apply great effort into mastering one subject. Once a field of interest has been chosen, dedication and single-minded pursuit of excellence is boundless.

Because of this ability toward dedication, these natives will be wise to choose professions in technological fields, psychology, and social activism. This combination does well in scientific research due to an inherent talent for precision thinking and originality. Strong humanitarian instincts will also lead the Virgo-Aquarius into teaching, medicine, nursing and the clergy.

For psychological well-being, this combination must remain physically active. Sports and physically exertive hobbies will keep these natives from succumbing to nervous tension and insomnia. Plenty of time for relaxation is necessary for the Virgo-Aquarius to rest that busy brain. Subject to inexplicable mood swings, these individuals must avoid too many situations where anxiety places stress on their fragile nerves.

Imaginative and experimental in love, the Virgo-Aquarius has a healthy sex drive. But romance is not one of their fortes. Too emotionally detached for a hot-blooded love affair these natives would do well to choose a mate who is their intellectual equal so that common interests can substitute for high drama. Involved with a mate who lives life like a TV soap opera will send this combination into flight, never to be seen again.

PC Basics: Looking For... Part2

by Jason Rowlands

Last week I covered a bit on how to find information on the Internet. This week I thought I would write about where to find content. By this I mean audio files (e.g. MP3 music files), video footage, documents, etc.

Many web sites do not like holding content on their pages, as the amount of space that they have available is limited. Commercial web sites may offer some downloadable content, but you may be charged to access it. These days, the best way to find content is to look directly at other people’s computers, and download from them.

This does not mean that you have to go round to their apartment and ask to use their PC. Instead, you do it over the Internet using Peer-2-Peer (P2P) software. Essentially, once you have a P2P program on your PC, you can connect to a common network to which all users of the software are attached. Once on, you have access to all the files that people choose to make available for downloading. This is called sharing. The advantage of this method is that if you search for a particular file, all of the PC’s on the network are queried, and in general it is very easy to find what you are looking for. This is due to the fact that P2P programs are extremely popular, and perhaps half a million different PC’s are queried when you do a search.

There are basically two different types of P2P programs. The first uses a common network to which all PC’s that are running the software are joined. A good example of this type of program is Morpheus. This is a free program which can be downloaded from www.morpheus-os.com. Once installed on your system, you enter a user name and password, and then you connect automatically. This type of software is very easy to use, but does have certain disadvantages. As you are on a very large scale network, traffic between the PC’s can vary in bandwidth considerably. As such, one minute you can be downloading at a good speed, but if the PC you are downloading from disconnects, then your bandwidth can be taken up by the program searching for a different source to continue downloading from, which may not offer as good a transfer rate.

The other type of P2P program uses a system where you connect to a hub. Essentially these are mini networks, which are often devoted to a particular type or type of content. There can be restrictions on these hubs as to what you are allowed to share, and how much content you must have available to share before you can join certain hubs. However, in general transfer rates using hubs is better than on a large scale network, as you are establishing a closer link to the PC that you are downloading from. The best known software for this type of file sharing is Direct Connect, which is again free, and can be downloaded from www.neo-modus.com

For the novice user, Morpheus is probably the better software to look at first, as it offers a simple front end and powerful search capabilities. However, both are well worth investigating.

Finally, a word of caution. As these programs allow you to download content from other PC’s directly, there is no control whatsoever over the type of content available. Apart from the fact that you may come across content which is illegal wherever you may be based, there is also a risk in that viruses and Trojans can be unwittingly downloaded as well. Additionally, it is possible for you to be traced over the network, and a malicious person can hack into your PC. As such, you should always ensure that you have a good anti-virus package installed, as well as a good firewall. Incidentally, if you are running Windows XP, do NOT rely on the in-built firewall software, as it is basically useless. Always use a good third party package such as the ones offered by MacAfee or Norton.

If you have any PC related questions please send them to pcbasics@pattayamail .com

Women’s World: The story of two women Part II - Grace

by Lesley Warmer

I asked Grace “Why?” Her answer was. “As early as I can remember I wanted to be a girl but I didn’t know why. I used to borrow my sister’s clothes when she wasn’t there. I lived in a very unhappy and confused state for long time. School was difficult. I hated sport, didn’t have the right feelings about clothes, makeup or girls. It was a miserable time.”

Grace (right) before the change.

She told me that she went through the normal routine and did what was expected by society, met a woman and married her and produced two sons. She said, “There are many transsexuals that have serious psychiatric problems, in a lot of cases they don’t even understand why. They can’t isolate their confusion so they just continue to suffer. Some even take their own life. It took me until 1999 and then I told my wife and my two sons who I really was and what I wanted, but this was not an easy decision. My sons were 15 and 17 years old, the younger son has never spoken to me again but my older son is a good friend and we plan to go on holiday together this year.”

After breaking the news to the family, friends and work colleagues Grace began to live her life fulltime as a woman in October 2000. She is a Control System Engineer and still does the same job now. I said, “Why such a masculine job?” Grace replied haughtily in true female fashion, “Why ever not, what makes it a man’s prerogative to be an engineer?” I asked her how her friends and colleagues at work took to the change. She said, “The majority of my friends and colleagues have stuck by me and I enjoy my job.”

Grace and Christine, now.

I asked Grace if she was scared when she went down for the operation. She laughed and said, “No, that morning in the shower I looked down, waved and said bye-bye.”

I said unbelievably, “What? No fear at all?” She said, “No, I felt at least if I died on the table it would be as a woman.”

I asked both Christine and Grace about why they had the operation to become a woman and then lived as lesbians? They both answered, “Transsexuals do not necessarily want to have sex with a man, the aim is to become a woman.”

I told them that personally I felt they were lucky to have experienced being both sexes and they said yes they were but told me, “You wouldn’t want to be a man. It’s not so much fun!”

These are two very happy, relaxed ladies enjoying life at last, as they should. Grace and Christine are both dedicated to helping others like themselves to achieve their dream so if you have any questions check out Grace’s website www.geocities.com/grace_tsuk or contact Christine, email: chriswithy [email protected]