If there was any doubt that low season is well and truly upon us, my own experiences walking around the environs of Fun Town should be enough to provide sufficient anecdotal evidence.
Apart from the usual wall-sitters along Beach Road, the young ladies from the local karaoke cafe have started eyeing me up and muttering “hello, sexy man”, so I know for certain there is a dearth of talent around town.
I have a melon only a mother could love - and even she emigrated at the first opportunity - so, being referred to as “handsome man” or “sexy man” really shows just how desperate things have become for the night stalkers.
Still, it’s better than high season when I seem to turn into the Invisible Man, or if young ladies do become aware of my existence, look askance and mumble an aside like “alien”. ET go home.
The final countdown: Tonight (Friday, October 12) the TQ2 ogling den (Soi BJ, Walking Street) will be holding a 25th birthday party for Mem. This is the last ‘event’ in a series of celebrations conducted over the past week to mark the 10th anniversary of the TQ2 chrome pole palace, so rock on down and join in the fun.
One night in Bangkok: For those of you who might be visiting the Big Chilli this weekend, The Dollhouse, Bangkok (Clinton Plaza) is holding a dance contest on Saturday night October 13.
Big night in Pattaya: Classroom 2 ogling den (Soi 2, North Pattaya) is conducting the fourth round of Dirty Dancing contests (the other three having been held at The Dollhouse, Blues Factory and TQ 2 in past weeks) on Sunday night, October 14. Again, the first place prize money is 10,000 baht, second 5,000 baht and third 2,500 baht.
I reckon somebody should hold an ogling den bar-owners and managers Dirty Dancing contest for a laugh. Free mouldy tomatoes and rotten eggs could be issued to punters at the front door.
Pussycat back on track: I’m happy to report that the Pussycat ogling den (Naklua Road) has taken steps to revitalise its operation and is certainly worth a visit. Lanky Bob has always managed to keep an easy-on-the-eye team of dancing maidens hugging the chrome poles. That is still the case, although there is one demure young lass whose eldritch scream would be enough to frighten even the toughest banshee.
Queen Victoria: Soi 6 (Yodsak) has always been noted for its gauntlet of Sierra Tango boozers, but for those who might be looking for a safe haven away from clawing talons and groping arms of the dine and dash maidens, then the Queen Victoria Inn should fit the bill.
Anybody familiar with the old Jimmy Macs would be surprised at the transformation, with the Queen Vic slotting somewhere between the style and ambience of the Pig N Whistle and Shenanigans. The place is open from 9:00 a.m. until 2:00 a.m. with drinks at beer boozer prices and rooms for rent. A grand opening charity extravaganza is planned, so watch this space for details.
Time for a makeover: The Sportsman’s Grill (Soi 13) noshery closed its doors on October 2 for renovations that Big Steve, the quietly-spoken owner, hopes will take between three and four weeks to complete. The plan is to extend the air-conditioned part of the munching den and give the place a lounge lizard libation room feel so that after punters have had their meal they will stay and relax with a few jars of the amber fluid or slurp a liver waster or two.
Not quite a cathedral: The Winchester ogling den and lounge lizard libation room (Walking Street, above the Champion chrome pole palace) celebrated its grand opening in style on October 3. The bash attracted probably every former inhabitant of the Old Dart now residing between Fun Town and Rayong. The lounge lizard libation room is a fair size but the ogling den is barely large enough to accommodate Big Bill’s substantial girth. Still, it makes for a more ‘intimate’ experience with the dancing maidens.
Cider House Rules: When someone mentions Sweden, most people conjure up images of pop group Abba, tennis player Bjorn Borg, blonde-haired Aryanesque maidens cavorting in their birthday suits in steaming saunas and Volvos, the vehicle driven by men who wear hats and little old ladies who go to church on Sunday.
Now you can add Kopparbergs Swedish Cider, in apple and pear flavours, to the list. The Spicy Girls Too ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) has started importing the Swedish Cider, and although it is not cheap at 120 baht a bottle, it makes a great change from guzzling the amber fluid. Considering some Walking Street play palaces are snipping the wallets of punters to the tune of 115 baht for liver wasters such as vodka, gin and whisky, the Swedish cider makes a nice alternative.
The chrome pole palace has also expanded its 40 baht Happy Hour prices (between 7:00 and 9:00 p.m.) to include liver wasters such as vodka, gin and whisky as well as draught beer.
My e-mail address is: firstname.lastname@example.org
Copyright 2001 Pattaya Mail Publishing Co. Ltd.