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  COLUMNS

HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:
 
Family Money: Safe & Secure
 
The Computer Doctor

Successfully Yours: Jerry Johnson
 
Snap Shots: Fruit Salad Lighting and other oddities!
   
Modern Medicine: What should kids eat?

Heart to Heart with Hillary
 
Grapevine

Dining Out: Taffy’s Travern - is it in Wales?
 
Animal Crackers: Shih Tzu - Tibet’s Temple Dogs
 
Down The Iron Road: More “Bending” Locomotives
 
Woman’s World

Family Money: Safe & Secure

By Leslie Wright

Many people who contact me for investment advice stipulate that they want “safe” investments.

Well, what is a safe investment?

By definition, “safe” means one that carries no risk - i.e., that cannot lose money. The only type of investment that meets this criterion in the short term is a bank deposit, with a sound bank in a well-regulated environment, and in your base currency.

A deposit in a currency other than your base currency carries a risk of exchange-rate fluctuations, which could lose you money in terms of your base currency. (Remember what happened to Asian currencies in 1997, and Sterling earlier this year.)

Similarly, bank deposits in regimes other than where a high degree of investor protection legislation is in place to guarantee your deposits are at risk of the bank folding and you losing your money - perhaps forever.

So even when considering bank deposits you are potentially exposing yourself to some element of risk.

Bonds are “safe” in the long term

If you are able to take a longer-term view, UK or US government bonds may be regarded as relatively “safe” investments, inasmuch as the issuing government guarantees to redeem the bond at maturity for its face value, and to pay a fixed amount of interest until that time.

However, that date may be 10, 15 or even 20 years off in the future, and few people want to have their capital tied up for that long. Also, prevailing bank interest rates may rise above bond yields in the meantime, making these instruments less enticing investments. (Which is why bonds are traded in the marketplace, for either higher or lower amounts than their face value, depending on the prevailing relative bank rate.)

The risk is that the government may default. This is highly unlikely in developed markets such as the USA, UK, or most European nations (with certain exceptions); but the risk of this happening is greater in less developed countries - hence the higher rates of interest offered on these less-stable countries’ bond issues.

‘Guaranteed’ investments

For capital investors who require absolute ‘safety’ combined with the potential for profit, some financial institutions have introduced relatively sophisticated investment funds that offer 100% capital guarantees.

The only trouble with these instruments is that one must take at least a medium-term view without touching any of the capital - typically for a minimum of five years.

Most investors are reluctant to leave a quite considerable amount of capital - typically at least $50,000 - tied up in limbo, with only a nebulous promise of potential returns on their investment at maturity.

Maybe they’ll make a handsome profit; maybe they’ll get back only their original capital with no growth at all. Depends on what the markets do in the meantime. Not terribly enticing, really...

There are also some shorter-term ‘guaranteed’ funds which permit accessibility to capital every three months and for lesser minimum investment thresholds: typically in the order of $10,000-$25,000. (But these generally require several weeks’ notice to redeem your units - so not exactly helpful in gauging market timing.)

Also, these low-risk funds’ performance over the past 18 months has not been encouraging - despite generally favourable movements in selected markets over that period.

Secured by law

What most investors really mean by “safe” is in fact what I call “secure”.

That is, that their investments are placed with internationally-recognised institutions located in well-regulated regimes where a high degree of investor protection legislation is in place.

In effect, that their investments are protected by law.

There aren’t too many of these places, and why those regimes that do have such laws in place are regarded as the ‘premier’ financial centres.

The best known are the three islands of Guernsey, Jersey and the Isle of Man, located off the coast of Britain. All three have stable independent governments, are strictly regulated by their own Financial Services Commissions, and have a very high degree of investor-protection legislation in place to guarantee investors’ assets in the unlikely event the investment institution should fold.

These rules and regulations are in some respects even stricter than those which apply onshore in the UK, which themselves are regarded as amongst the strictest in the world. They certainly provide investors with a much higher degree of security than is found in regimes with less strict laws and regulations.

These ‘premier’ offshore financial centres also practise a very strict code of non-disclosure and confidentiality - which is what the recent much-publicised fuss with the OECD is all about. The OECD wants all so-called tax-havens to disclose their dealings (and assumedly therefore their client lists), on the premise that this will eliminate tax-evasion and reveal “funny-money” derived from drugs and gambling.

Well, I know for a fact that the ‘premier’ financial centres in the Channel Islands and Isle of Man already have very strict anti-money laundering rules in place (I have to abide by them!), and I cynically suspect this latest move towards transparency is traceable back to the IRS up to their old tricks of chasing down errant citizens of the USA who have “forgotten” to report their offshore holdings, on which they have a tax liability even whilst living overseas.

(Because failing to file the required US tax return each year is only a misdemeanour - which carries a fine, albeit a potentially hefty one - while filing a false one is a felony, which would potentially carry a jail term in the US, as well as permitting the IRS to freeze or seize any of the felon’s assets they can lay their hands on.)

Newer offshore financial centres

In recent years a number of other less well-known places - Mauritius, Labuan, Vanuatu, to name just three - have set themselves up as “offshore financial centres”, with a view to inducing banks and other investment institutions to establish offices in these regimes, and entice the ever-increasing number of international investors to place their money in these locales.

The primary purpose of this move is to increase their hard-currency reserves which are not coming in from other activities such as exports or tourism.

Inevitably, the rules and regulations which apply in these newer offshore centres are more lenient than those applied in more strictly regulated regimes. Thus, less well-established institutions are permitted - indeed encouraged - to set themselves up in these locales. And with less stringent rules comes less security for investors.

If a financial services company sets itself up in a less regulated environment, it may well mean it wasn’t able to get a licence to operate in the more prestigious (but more strictly regulated) ones.

Such a firm may be smaller, have less paid-up capital, less assets to support its activities. In some cases its owners or directors may even have been banned from operating in more regulated environments because of dubious or illegal practices.

So when considering making any offshore investment, ensure you are dealing either with an internationally-recognised institution which is located in a well-regulated regime, or through a broker who deals only with such institutions.

Placing your hard-earned money with less secure firms in less well-regulated regimes because their offers are more enticing is simply taking on an increased element of risk and lowering your safety factor - perhaps unwisely.

Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments. If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, contact Leslie directly by fax on (038) 232522 or e-mail [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.

Editor’s note: Leslie sometimes receives e-mails to which he is unable to respond due to the sender’s automatic return address being incorrect. If you have sent him an e-mail to which you have not received a reply, this may be why. To ensure his prompt response to your enquiry, please include your complete return e-mail address, or a contact phone/fax number.

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The Computer Doctor

by Richard Bunch

Continuing the Windows 2000 theme, this week I’ll answer a few more general questions that get posed.

Question: Is it necessary to defragment my NTFS drive.

Computer Doctor’s Answer: Many people are under the impression that NTFS partitions in Windows 2000 (Win2K) and Windows NT do not fragment, alas this is not so and they will fragment over time. The system does not write files in contiguous areas on the hard disk and the larger the volume size, the more fragmented your hard disk is likely to become. As a result, it takes longer for the operating system to access files and folders as it must perform extra disk reads to collect all the pieces before assembling the ‘jigsaw’. Even creating new files takes longer because the OS must locate free space scattered across the volume.

Disk defragmentation is the process of reassembling files and folders in one location on a volume. The process, which works only on local volumes, consolidates files and folders in one contiguous place. It results in improved disk access because it consolidates most - but not all - of the volume’s free space. The time it takes to defragment a volume depends on several factors, including the size of the volume, the amount of fragmentation, the number of files and folders, and the available system resources. In Win2K, you can defragment all three types of supported file systems: FAT, FAT 32, and NTFS.

Windows 2000 includes a disk defragmenter and you should aim to use this regularly, ideally at a time when you are not otherwise using your system. You need to be logged on as an Administrator to perform defragmentation then you can access the defragmenter from Start, Programs, Accessories, System Tools, Disk Defragmenter.

It is useful to analyse the volume first then the improvement can be seen graphically. The analysis report gives you several pieces of useful information, including volume size, cluster size, and the amount of free and used space. You can also see information on volume, file, pagefile, directory/folder, and Master File Table (MFT) fragmentation. A good indication of fragmentation is the average fragments per file, listed under the report’s file fragmentation section. The optimum number is 1.00. If your fragments per file are 1.10, then about 10 percent of your files exist in two pieces. A value of 1.20 means 20 percent, and so on. If the fragments per file is 2.0, your files average two fragments each; 3.0 means three fragments each, and so on. The analysis report also shows you which files didn’t defragment. You can print or save the analysis reports in a text file.

NTFS reserves a portion of free space on NTFS partitions for the MFT and partitions that contain many folders contribute to free space fragmentation. If the analysis report indicates that you need to defragment your volume, you can proceed with the defragmentation process. You cannot defragment certain system files, including the pagefile and the MFT, because they’re in use during normal Windows operations. One way to defragment a pagefile is to temporarily move it to a different volume. For example, to defragment the existing pagefile on your D: drive:

Run the Disk Defragmenter tool to defrag the D: drive.

Create a new pagefile on a different drive (e.g., the C: drive) and delete the one on the D: drive by setting its size to zero. Reboot your computer.

Recreate the pagefile on the D: drive and delete the one on the C: drive by setting its size to zero.

Reboot your computer one more time.

The system will create the new pagefile on the D: drive in a contiguous space, assuming you have enough contiguous disk space on the drive.

Next week, scheduling disk defragmentation.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or E-mail to [email protected]. The views and comments expressed within this column are not necessarily those of the writer or Pattaya Mail Publishing.

Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer Technologies Co., Ltd. providing professional information technology and Internet services which includes; custom database and application development; website design, promotion and hosting; domain name registration; turnkey e-commerce solutions; computer and peripheral sales service and repairs, networks (LAN & WAN) and IT consulting. For further information, please e-mail [email protected] or telephone/fax 038 716 816 or see our website www.act.co.th

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Successfully Yours: Jerry Johnson

By Mirin MacCarthy

Jerry Johnson, black, beautiful and proud of it, was born back in Tennessee USA forty-nine years ago. Jerry, who majored in psychology and sociology, spent much of his life as a youth worker. However, dealing with emotionally disturbed and drug addicted juveniles was a very stressful job so he took early retirement after open heart surgery in 1996. Now he spends six months of the year here in Jomtien and six months back in San Jose.

His father was an IBM quality assurance manager for 20 years. Jerry feels they had an easy life perhaps because it was a close knit Christian family of one brother and 3 sisters. “The kids were number one in my parents life; wherever they went there were always five little kids tagging along.”

The family moved to California when Jerry was 3 and took up bible studies. “From what little I remember or maybe I was told, Tennessee was O.K. but California was more inter-racially balanced. Everybody was the same no matter what colour - some were just as intelligent, some were just as stupid. That’s where I learned to get along with all different races.” By the time Jerry was in high school his father was a Deacon in the Baptist church.

When Jerry was just eleven years old he was already talking to youth groups for various churches. Somehow, by osmosis, church was his life. Far from being retiring and lazy Jerry was vice president of his class in his junior high school. Much involved in the theatre group and sports, Jerry won a scholarship to San Jose Baptist College. There he spent a year studying and acting in a famous drama trilogy called “The People Versus Christ” with which the group travelled all over Southern California. Jerry then returned to San Jose on a theatre scholarship and earned his B.A. with a double major in sociology and psychology.

With all that behind him, Jerry worked from 1972 to 1979 in Juvenile probation as a peace officer in Juvenile Hall, Santa Clara County. “In the seventies, the juvenile problem had changed, most of them were from broken homes and high on drugs. They came from all different backgrounds - some very rich and some very poor. I knew them personally and knew their pressure problems.

“We dealt with fifty kids at a time, with a staff of 2 or three. My job was to take them though routines and encourage the staff to treat them by guidelines, to keep a rapport and trust by being fair and reasonable. It was a very stressful job.”

Jerry then took a well earned break for four years. He moved to southern California and took a job as a security guard, made a few movies and had fun doing it. Jerry supplemented his income by working on call at a residential treatment centre for kids with emotional problems.

In 1989 he returned to Juvenile Hall as a senior counsellor and on call supervisor. The pressure was on again and the warning bells to slow down came in 1995 when he had coronary artery bypass surgery. 1996 brought his early retirement after the open heart surgery. “In that situation you are faced with your own immortality. Belief in God is a personal thing. Because He is a friend and very much part of my life I prayed, ‘What do I do now?’ Things happened, Thailand kept coming up. I kept hearing about it.”

Jerry continued, “I came here for the second time in 1996. I had to give up luxuries like a house and a car, but it appeals to the adventurous side of me who wants to help people and especially children. I’m an uncomplicated person. If I can help a few people then it will be worthwhile. I relate to children; if you want to know what a society is all about you talk to the kids, they will act it out or tell you, they are innocent and honest.” While here Jerry helps with the activities of the New Vision Christian Fellowship in Pattaya, delivering rice and clothes to 70 impoverished Thais from Surat Buri, who have built corrugated iron shelters here on a tiny block of land they rent for 400 baht a month.

Back in the States Jerry is an associate Minister in the Antioch Baptist Church, and in his six months at home he works as a counsellor with ARC, an Adolescent Residential Center for kids with emotional problems and spends the rest of the time with his family.

Jerry believes honesty and respect for yourself and others are the most important values in life. His advice to school leavers is: “Choose a career you enjoy doing. Hopefully a career where you can do something meaningful for someone else.” Jerry will consider his life as a success at the end of the day (and please note he says ‘When’ not ‘If’), “When I get to heaven and the Lord says, ‘Welcome, good and faithful servant, job well done’.”

To try to tempt a man like Jerry with money was a pointless exercise. I asked him straight, “What difference would it make to your life if I just gave you a million dollars?” The reply was predictable; “I want 3 million baht to build a centre for street kids with vocational training, laundry, mechanics, furniture shops. They would learn English in their own campus school with child care workers teaching morals that are universal.” Maybe one day it will happen, but if it does, Jerry Johnson will be ready.

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Snap Shots: Fruit Salad Lighting and other oddities!

by Harry Flashman

Since photography is almost by definition “Painting with Light”, it stands to reason that the different light you use can produce a different picture. The great celestial lighting technician that supplies the sunlight is not the only form of illumination these days.

The weird thing about light sources is that they all impart a different colour to your photographs. This colour shift or colour bias is not necessarily obvious to the naked eye - but the film sees it and records it. After all, the camera never lies, does it?

The first and most obvious difference is in the early morning and late afternoon lighting. The morning light has a certain “coldness” to it and imparts a blue hue to the overall photograph. The late afternoon we call a “warmer” light and gives a warm almost “orange” glow to any item in the shot receiving the sun’s rays.

The differences in all these lights are actually measured in degrees, on a scale called degrees Kelvin. Now there are many light sources, all with their different Kelvin rating and all producing considerable differences. Neon lighting that we all work under is not “white light” either. In fact, if you go and look at any shots you have taken where neon is the only light source you will find a certain “green” glow throughout the photo.

Another very common light source is the standard house type light bulb. This is again another very “warm” light and any photographs taken under incandescent (tungsten) bulbs will have an orange cast through them. This is particularly noticeable with colour slide film. With the modern photo-processors, the machine attempts to filter out the orange or green, but this is usually done at the expense of human skin tones. So if you end up looking a little blue, that’s probably the reason - the machine was trying to get rid of the red face you had before!

Of course, the photographer can try to filter out the colour cast as well. You can either put a filter in front of the lens like the 81A that Harry has on the front of all his lenses to slightly “warm” the skin tones, to using blue gels in front of incandescent bulbs to counteract the orange from the tungsten type light source.

Another wild light source is Infrared light. This section of the normal sun’s rays can be split off by a special infrared sensitive film. This gives you a black and white print, but items that are normally green will often turn out white and blue sky ends up dark grey or black. Keen local photographer Ryan King has been experimenting with IR film recently and has some spectacular end results. This is not an easy film to work with however, and even the focussing technique has to be altered to suit the IR light.

So where does the Fruit Salad Lighting come in? This was a term used when the photographer mixes the different light sources in the same photograph. This was a favourite technique that Harry used in the studio particularly. You just sit and imagine what that part of the picture would look like with the orange glow, while the surreal green from neon could be used for another section. Again this was a case of trial and error until you could get some idea of prediction of the end result.

But of course, trial and error is one of the most important parts of photography. Getting Aunt Maude and her cat on film requires no skill these days, but getting a great photo of the maiden aunt and moggie does take skill, initiative, practice and knowledge - which in turn just comes from having tried it before.

Go on, this weekend be a little daring and try a different light source - but do turn the flash off - it is pure “white” light and no fun at all!

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Modern Medicine: What should kids eat?

by Dr Iain Corness

Not surprisingly, children’s food requirements are not the same as adults, but very surprisingly, some “healthy” choices may not be as healthy as many parents would imagine.

Unfortunately, especially in the so-called “developed” countries, the incidence of childhood obesity is rising. It is a noted fact that if both parents are overweight, their children have an 80% chance of being obese as well. This is not totally a straight out genetic factor, but is a combination of Nature and Nurture. Children learn by watching and copying, don’t they?

One of the biggest problems is the “picky” eater. Very often Mum gives in to the refusal to eat “good” foods, thinking that if the child will eat other items, then he or she is at least getting “something”. Unfortunately, that “something” can sometimes be quite wrong for growing children. One example is fruit juice. It is “natural” and therefore “healthy” as far as most exasperated Mums and Dads are concerned. However, any child that takes more than one litre of fruit juice daily is more likely to get dental caries, diarrhoea and even a failure to thrive. The best liquid for the thirsty child is, not surprisingly - water! One side effect of changing from juices to water is that the child appears to drink less. This is fine, because the child is now drinking to counteract thirst, not drinking for the sweet taste.

So what should children have in their diet? Pre-schoolers should get three serves of milk or milk products every day and three serves of meat every week. They should also have five serves of fruit or vegetables and three serves of cereals or grains every day. Low fat products, just like those recommended for adults are also the go for children over the age of two years, though under two the high fat, high energy diet is satisfactory. There should also be no added salt or sugar. Water should be the primary thirst quencher, and snack foods and soft drinks should be restricted to once a week. (The soft drink giants will probably send me hate letters after this article!)

Dieticians are now also suggesting that this age group should only get a maximum of one hour’s TV daily as well. Not that TV viewing is edible - it is the plethora of snack food and drink advertisements that is the problem in dictating or influencing children’s choices!

Finally - breakfast does matter! Kids who skip breakfast because they are running late, or doing last night’s homework, are more likely to fill up on high fat and high cholesterol foods during the day. And with those who do eat breakfast - a high fat breakfast tends to produce children who eat high fat meals for the rest of the day as well. On the other hand, high carbohydrate breakfasted kids are more alert and less hungry during the day. Finally, kids who get more than 20% of their recommended daily energy intake at breakfast perform academically better than those who get less than 10%. Makes you think, doesn’t it!

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Dear Hillary,

I have the best girlfriend. She is fun, smart, beautiful, sexy, her English is very good, all of her family live in Pattaya and have their own homes and good jobs and to my knowledge, her mother does not own a water buffalo or any other livestock! My girlfriend is very caring and is always happy to help fulfill my desires, whenever they come-up (pardon the pun). I too am more than willing to satisfy her needs which is usually about once a week. The problem is, once she is turned-on, she just keeps on going (thank God for Viagra) until every last drop of energy in her body is consumed. However afterwards she is totally exhausted and sleeps for days. Hillary, I now have such mixed feelings. I always want to reciprocate and take care of her needs, but on the other hand, I don’t want to cause her any ill health. I have tried to curtail things, but she is like the Energizer Rabbit. She just keeps on going and going and going. Please help!

Mixed feelings

Dear Mixed feelings,

You do have such a problem, don’t you, my petal. But the answer is simple. You stop taking Vitamin V immediately and when you can’t perform, your girlfriend can make up her own mind whether to wait till next week after you’ve managed to wind yourself up (instead of winding up Hillary) or whether to recharge her Energizer Rabbit. You can be replaced you know!

Dear Hillary,

I have provided for my wife for the past six years of our marriage. She has never had to want for anything. I am a model husband, good looking, never play up, only drink in moderation, in perfect health, a witty intelligent companion, and considered by everyone as a “good catch”. This week she calmly announced that she wants a divorce. I can’t get it out of her as to why - just that she wants a divorce. Why, Hillary, why?

Confounded

Dear Confounded,

It’s probably because she has found after six years that she is married to a smug self satisfied, arrogant, pompous twit. I think I’d divorce you too, but it wouldn’t have taken me six years.

Dear Hillary,

My husband has tinea (athlete’s foot) but he is certainly no Olympic specimen. I believe that this condition is highly contagious, so I have been very careful not to play footsy with him since then. Where do you think he got such a condition? Do you think he has been unfaithful? Is this grounds for divorce in this country?

Athletic Andrea

Dear Andrea,

Is he a model husband, good looking, never playing up, only drinking in moderation, in perfect health, a witty intelligent companion, and considered by everyone as a “good catch”? If not, you could probably do a straight swap with Confounded. He has everything any girl would want, according to him, and no tinea. But as to where your husband got his “dose” - I wouldn’t know where to start, my petal. Perhaps he has been secretly training for his own Olympics. Does his girlfriend own an Energizer Rabbit?

Dear Hillary,

It seems like at least once a week, my Thai office girl comes in late with a basket of goodies on her arm and tells me she has been to the temple. There is certainly no way I would want her to go against her religious beliefs, but surely she doesn’t need to go every week? I would never put up with this type of behaviour in the UK. What do you think Hillary?

Unbeliever

Dear Unbeliever,

Temple devotions are an important part of life for any Thai. It is part of the merit making she can do in this life to improve her lot next time around. She is probably praying that she won’t have to work for infidels such as you next time. Lighten up and remember that you are living and working in Thailand. She’s Thai - you’re her guest.

Dear Hillary,

I am an American who was over your way in December last year. I went out with a girl from a bar in Soi 8. She really seemed to like me and I took her to Phuket and everywhere around Thailand for the month I was on holiday. I helped her out with some money to get some surgery done before I come back this year (she wanted to have her nose re-modelled). Since then I have been writing to her, but she has never replied. Do you think she has got my letters, or what? Could you see if she did? Her name is Noy.

Bob

Dear Bob,

Sorry, but I think you’ve been led up the garden path by the carrot. Hillary gives advice to the love-lorn, she is not a Missing Persons Bureau or the Pattaya branch of the Pinkerton’s. I think your Noy will have moved on by now. Sorry, but there’s a lot of Noy’s in Soi 8.

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GRAPEVINE

Cats’ entertainment
Two farangs have been arrested in a dawn bust after being found in possession of Special “K”. However, their holiday mates’ shock at the court case following seizure of a famous breakfast cereal was short lived. Special “K” is the street name for Ketamine which is primarily used by vets to immobilize cats. But its effects on humans, if taken in small doses, are similar to LSD. Thailand’s drug laws, everyone should know, are very strict.

Revenge is sweet
Shortsighted Liverpool tourist, Alfred Pratter, 56, is in hospital after being bitten on the hand by a dead snake. On a trekking holiday near the Burmese border, he watched a restaurant assistant behead a dangerous cobra ready for the cooking pot. The curious tourist then clumsily picked up the severed head, intending to ask his wife to take a photograph to delight all the relatives back home in Maghull. Instead, he passed out. Mrs Pratter explained that the event had finally persuaded her husband to wear his thick glasses in public.

Return of ET
Gunther Funk has been fined 800 baht after being stopped for speeding on Sukhumvit Highway as he raced to a fancy dress party. He was dressed as an alien with a large, green head. He told curious officers he was an extra terrestrial from the planet Rinso. Funk was then fined 400 baht for staying too long in the right hand lane and a further 400 for giving the wrong ID details. His passport clearly showed he was a German who was born in Dusseldorf.

Hearty recommendation
That most excellent chain of snack bars, Delifrance, is now well established on the ground floor of Big ‘C’ on Second Road. Delicious, generous sandwich fillings, including brie cheese and salad, great coffee, succulent pastries and particularly good cream soups. Check their alternating specials’ board for bargains such as a starter, tuna sandwich and Coke for well under a hundred baht. But even the a la carte menu won’t burn a hole in your pocket. This is a cafe you can visit with every confidence.

No need for a visa run
Reader TY says he is too young at 52 to apply for a retirement visa and wants to know how he can stay in Thailand for a year without exiting every few months. He has no Thai dependants. TY could apply for a one year investor’s visa which can be extended. The annual cost is 500 baht. He needs a non immigrant visa, any type, to start and must have at least three million baht invested in a public Thai bank, such as Krung Thai. The bank account must be a deposit type. If he has a condo in his own name or owns Thai bonds, they can contribute towards the sum specified. The latest Bank of Thailand regulations allow foreigners to open a bank account if they produce a valid passport, ID from their home country and proof of address in Thailand. Interested guys and gals should check first with the immigration bureau to make sure the regulations haven’t changed. Farangs aged 55 or over will probably prefer the option of a retirement visa for which the rules are different. For example, the sum specified is 800,000 baht and the Thai bank can be public or private. And it doesn’t matter whether the bank account is current or deposit. But for any type of long stay visa, you must have a non immigrant visa to begin with. A tourist visa won’t do. The best you can achieve, at the moment, with a tourist visa is an extension of one or two months.

Beer hymn
The Hash guys sent us this one:

Our lager
Which art in barrel
Hallowed be thy drink
I will be drunk
at home as I am in tavern
give us this day our foamy head
and forgive us our spillage
as we forgive those who spill against us
and lead us not into overindulgence
but deliver us from hangovers
for thine is the beer
the bitter and the lager
for ever and ever

barmen.

And finally
A Brit who complained to a railway company back home that he had been badly bitten by fleas on one of their trains received a personal apology from the chairman. In one corner was written, “Send standard flea letter.”

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Dining Out: Taffy’s Tavern - is it in Wales?

by Miss Terry Diner

You may be forgiven for not knowing Taffy’s Tavern. It is not in Pontypridd - it is here in Pattaya, only open for one month. This pub/restaurant is in the Duck Square Shopping Plaza, Sukhumvit end, and close to the first entrance inbound.

Run by Pari, who is married to Gary - a proud Welshman, Taffy’s Tavern is indeed a little bit of Wales, with Gary’s memorabilia including the ceremonial Welsh flag, complete with its winged dragon, at one end of the bar. If that is not enough, there are several rugby jerseys and rugby club ties on the walls to remind you that Wales considers rugby their national pastime after singing and coal mining.

The restaurant is quite spacious and air-conditioned, with wood panelling, a bar on one side and a central food servery. Bright check tablecloths, padded chairs, a basket on the table with various sauces and a small vase with a fresh red rose. There is a homely atmosphere and you soon feel at ease.

Gary is, like so many Welshmen, an affable and friendly host. “In my country, if you were a visitor, then whatever I’ve got is yours.” This concept he and Pari have extended to the food side of Taffy’s. It is a “help yourself” buffet. What’s more, it is an “all you can eat” buffet. And even more, it is a 125 baht all inclusive buffet!

The highly successful American franchised “Subway” outlets sell soup, salads and sandwiches. Taffy’s really is the same (though Gary will probably be terribly offended by mentioning his beloved Wales and America in the same sentence!).

Every day, Taffy’s offers six hot dishes (three of them soup), plus salad bar and a bread counter. The hot dishes also rotate, so there will not be the “sameness” that can occur with fixed menus. Of course, the Welsh connection is also in the food, with the hot dishes all being from Gary’s late mother’s cookbook. Taffy’s Tavern’s Thai cooks faithfully follow the recipes.

There is a small drinks list on the table, with most beers between 45-55 baht and house wine is only 70 baht. There are also the usual choices of soft drinks, juices, tea and coffee. I chose my usual Singha Gold, while Madame had an orange juice as we took stock of what was on offer.

On our night, the three soups were vegetable based, one with chicken, one with pork and the last one steak and kidney. The three other hot assortments were Chinese noodles, spaghetti pasta and a Bolognaise style sauce. These are kept hot in individual “crock pots” set into the tiled counter.

Next to these is the bread counter with pre-sliced rolls, butter and French bread available. The rest of the servery area is taken up with a large range of items including pizza slices and salad bits and pieces - ham (Paris and sliced), pork (loin and peppered), eggs, corn on the cob, onion, carrot, tomato, potato salad, taro, pumpkin, cucumber and a tossed lettuce. There are also small containers with different salad dressings - Italian, Thousand Island and an interesting Garlic dressing - a secret recipe of the cook’s. Finally, the loaded servery has a couple of platters of tropical fruits. Taffy’s certainly provides good choices for the vegetarians in the community too.

We began with soup, chicken for Madame and steak and kidney for me. Both were hot (temperature) - so important with soup - and both were filling and tasty. So far, so good.

Madame then went for the salad bar, selecting Paris ham, assorted vegetables and the cook’s garlic dressing, which she loved. I decided on the spaghetti pasta, with some pizza and the meat sauce liberally ladled all over the lot. Both of us enjoyed our choices and neither of us left Taffy’s Tavern hungry. Quite the reverse!

If you are looking for friendly atmosphere, home-style food and fabulous value - you will find it very hard to beat Taffy’s Tavern. Well worth trying.

Taffy’s Tavern, 225/192 Duck Square Shopping Plaza, (Sukhumvit side). Tel 01 628 0618.

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Animal Crackers: Shih Tzu - Tibet’s Temple Dogs

by Mirin MacCarthy

The Shih Tzu originated in Tibet where it was kept in temples as a sacred dog. It is known that they were occasionally given to the Emperors of China during the (17th century) Manchu dynasty as a tribute of great honour.

Personality

Shih Tzus are happy and loving little house dogs. They are real people dogs that wait their whole life for you. Though they are not demanding or highly strung, Shih Tzus still need lots of company. They will lie quietly gazing intently at you, waiting to be called for a cuddle, but prefer to be curled up in your lap and in your bed at night too. Becoming very popular because they are happy to make friends with everybody, they are very intelligent little guys and excellent with children.

The size of the Shih Tzu is between 4 to 8 kg. The appropriate weight is a matter of personal preference, with the breed standard allowing a wide range.

The coat gives the Shih Tzu its truly regal appearance. It has a slight wave with an undercoat which gives a graceful appearance as it falls naturally to the ground. They have a wide range of colours from total black, to grey-black, brown, or red with white, and pure gold.

Grooming

Daily grooming is necessary, otherwise the coat will become matted and tangled and then need cutting. If the coat is cut down, this takes away the elegant look of the breed. As a puppy, little work is needed except to get the dog used to lying still on a table or your lap for a couple of minutes to get brushed.

Eyes

A Shih Tzus eyes are large and vulnerable and prone to ulceration. Special attention should be given to them daily. Most owners usually tie up Shih Tzus top knots to keep the hair out of their eyes. Being small and close to the ground it is easy for dust or dirt or a stray hair to get into the eye and cause irritation. Use human eye wash daily, such as saline. This is a gentle eye wash to remove any crusted matter from eye corners. A fine flea comb may be used to remove any dried food in the moustache.

Ears

Their floppy ears need attention too, so clean out the ears daily very gently and carefully with a little baby oil on a cotton ball. With a little care and lots of love Shih Tzus make adoring, perfect companions.

Adorable Babies for Sale

These loving little creatures are not always available. Peter Kaufmann’s pedigree Shih Tzu Yonan recently had a litter of six and he is selling the 3 male and one female remaining puppies for 6,500 baht each. They are brown and white and beautiful and now about six weeks old. Peter can be contacted on (038) 731022.

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Down The Iron Road: More “Bending” Locomotives

by John D. Blyth

The Meyer locomotive as built had a number of snags, of which the most obvious was the space taken up by the driving gear of the rearmost power unit impinging on space needed for the lower part of the firebox, grate and ashpan. So there came the “Kitson Meyer”, which was somewhat longer, drawing out the space between the engine units, and allowing some much needed space. One writer suggests that it was Robert Stirling of The Anglo-Chilian Nitrate Railway, who first suggested the modification, and it was certainly worthwhile. The Kitson Meyer was a South American speciality, and some remarkable designs appeared. That shown is one of two supplied in 1935 for the Colombian National Railway - actually the last two built before the Kitson Company, despite all efforts of its leader, Lt. Col. Kitson Clark, went into liquidation. The parts were made by Kitson’s, but it was too late to assemble them at the Leeds workshop, and so before dispatch, partly at least dismantled, they were put together at the Newcastle works of Robert Stephenson & Co., and tested there.

Three cylinder, three truck Shay locomotive for the English Lumber Co.

E. F. Clark, grandson of Lt. Col. Kitson Clark, kindly supplied me with details of these two locomotives, highlighting the similarity in a surprising number of ways between these 1935 locomotives and the then brand-new B.R. Class 58 Diesel-Electrics, introduced just 50 years later. Length, width, height, weight, bogie wheelbase, tractive effort, show this very clearly; only the maximum speed of the diesel locomotive is substantially higher. The Kitson locomotives, as was essential in those days, had to be assembled at destination by less-than-skilled staff, and to go straight into service and work first time; this they did, and were trouble free until withdrawn in 1960. By contrast, the Class 58 Diesels never really got through their teething troubles, and at age 15 years (designed for a 35 year life), many of them have been set aside, in favour of the newly arrived Class 66 locomotives from the Canada works of General Motors. The latter were in many cases put under power on the dockside at Newport (Gwent), and did indeed work “straight out of the box.” A recent report shows that the 250 of these now in service are achieving an availability of around 99%.

British Rail had high hopes of offering the Class 58 locomotives for export, too, but their reputation in Britain was such that there would have been no takers. Mr. Clark suggests that they were far too sophisticated for the kind of work they had to undertake, passing over very bad track in colliery yards and steelworks sidings.

2-8-0+0-8-2 Kitson Meyer locomotive for the Columbian National Railways; one of the last two Kitson Meyers built, in 1935.

I have also a full side-view of the Colombian Kitson Meyer, and it reveals a remarkably long locomotive indeed.

Soon I shall report on the Garratt type of locomotive; had this not had clear superiority over even the Kitson Meyer, the latter might well have been used in more countries than was the case, and maybe even the old-established Kitson works and company might also have been saved.

To go over the Andes by rail entailed very steep gradients indeed, and when I come to write about rack railways I will come back to them. Not all were by Kitson, but certainly the most successful came from them.

Shay, Climax, and Heisler Locomotives

There were many types of articulated locomotives; I cannot mention them all, but I think these there are worth a look.

‘Climax’ 35 ton locomotive built in 1899; it bears the Climax firm’s name, and that of the customer is not known.

Ephraim Shay was a lumberman, in trouble with the small railway on his estates; in some desperation he designed and built a small crude locomotive, which worked, and a little later he patented it, disposing of the rights to the Lima Machine Works who developed the idea and thereafter built every subsequent Shay locomotive. The one shown makes clear the principle: alongside the boiler (which is off-set) are the cylinders (two or three) set vertically and driving on to a crankshaft which forms part of the main drive shaft the length of the locomotive, and from which bevel gearing takes the drive to each pair of wheels on each of the three “trucks”. This was built for the “English Lumber Co.” - nothing to do with England (U.K.)!

The Heisler and Climax types have something in common. I show a Climax, on which will be seen the unusual disposition of the two cylinders, steeply inclined on either side. The drive is taken from a cross-shaft between the two - reduction and bevel gearing transmitting the power to a longitudinal shaft, in turn passing the drive to the axles, again through bevel gears. The 1899 locomotive shown has just two “trucks” but in later times bigger locomotives spread the power through the wheels of three “trucks”.

The Heisler differed in two essentials: firstly the cylinders, two or sometimes four, were at right angles and placed in a V-formation beneath the boiler, whence, again, reduction gearing took the power to the wheels, rather more simply than in the Climax; secondly the drive was not taken to each pair of wheels, but to the outer pair on each truck, the inner pair being driven by side-rods, much in the way of a normal steam locomotive.

All three types had their supporters, and these included export orders. One Shay went to a British iron and steel works, whilst the Avonside Co. built a number of locomotives for sugar cane plantations in Natal, South Africa, at lease one being still in service as late as 1969.

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Woman’s World: Smile Please

by Lesley Warner

Ladies, I think that it is important that we try and take care of every part of our body. It’s all very well for the book cover to look good but what about the rest? For example, have you ever found your eyes riveted to someone’s smile and thought ‘Stone Henge’? My second thought is always what rotten parents not finding a good Orthodontist. There are no kind thoughts when presented with ‘bad breathe’ (Halitosis). I hasten to add for those of my friends that will immediately think, “Is it me?” No, this is not a dig at anyone I know but it’s not much good only writing about the pretty things.

Contrary to popular belief our teeth are designed to last a lifetime, but gum (periodontal) disease can change this. Dental disease has a reciprocal effect with overall body health. If you’re over stressed and generally unhealthy, your immune system will be suppressed and dental caries, caused by bacteria, will flourish. If your mouth is unhealthy, especially with gum disease, it overloads your health every moment of the day, lowering your resistance to all disease. The main way to keep your mouth clean is to eat a sugar-free, natural food diet.

Herbal medicine abounds with great substitutes for store-bought toothpaste. Most effective natural tooth powders are warming, which promotes circulation in the gums; astringent, which tightens the gums; and detoxifying, which removes debris. Of course any preparation should also remove plaque. Flossing and tongue cleaning reduce bad breath and help to prevent plaque. Also, get a good toothbrush.

A classic Ayurvedic combination contains two parts powdered potassium alum, an astringent, and one part powdered salt. Prickly ash bark is a classic toothpowder from North America, and myrrh gum is widely used in Middle Eastern herbalism. Tea tree oil (very dilute) stimulates circulation and kills germs.

Most herbalists and natural healers recommend using warming, astringent, connective-tissue-healing herbs to enhance and maintain oral health. These herbs can be used as a rinse or applied as packs (a pinch of powder, wetted to a mush with a liquid such as water or vitamin E, and tucked next to the teeth). Rinses are made by preparing a herb as tea in the usual way, or by simply stirring herb powder into water. Hold the rinse in the mouth for a few seconds or up to several minutes, gargle, and spit out. Bilberry fruit and hawthorn berry stabilize collagen, strengthening the gum tissue. Licorice root is a gem for the mouth: It promotes anti-cavity action, reduces plaque, and has an antibacterial effect.

The tooth sockets are joints, and the teeth are essentially bones. Herbs that treat the skeleton and the joints when taken internally are good bets for long-term tooth health. Standouts include yellow dock root, alfalfa leaf, cinnamon bark, and turmeric root.

Periodontal disease (PD) is a long-term, low-grade bacterial infection of the gums, bone, and ligaments that support the teeth and anchor them in the jaw. The bacteria are normal inhabitants of the mouth, but when allowed to overgrow, they form plaque and tartar, and produce toxins that provoke the body’s immune response. When allowed to progress, the disease destroys the supporting structures of the teeth, which eventually leads to tooth loss. This can happen at any age is a major cause of bad breath. Diabetes in particular drastically increases the risks.

Mouth ulcers we’ve all suffered at some time can be supremely painful. Commonly thought to be linked to food allergies and nutritional deficiencies, particularly iron, B12, and folic acid. Chamomile mouthwash, alum and licorice root are all said to have healing qualities to help relieve the mouth sores.

Your teeth are a reflection of your whole body. If you are healthy, your mouth will be healthy. Teeth, gums, and bone can heal. Give these techniques a try. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how well they work.

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