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  COLUMNS

HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:
 
Family Money: No Crystal Balls
 
The Computer Doctor

Successfully Yours: Pascal Schnyder

Life Force: Young children
 
Snap Shots: Why we shoot 35 mm!
   
Modern Medicine: The 10 Commandments!

Heart to Heart with Hillary
 
Grapevine

Dining Out: Tex O’Mex, the Irish Jalapeno Kid!
  
Lotus Eaters: Songkran - the origins and significance

Down The Iron Road: Engines Of War 2 - The USA
 
Coins of the Realm: Major Auction for Roman Coins
 
Animal Crackers: Jojo the happy monkey

Family Money: No Crystal Balls

By Leslie Wright

From time to time one hears disparaging comments about the performance of managers of mutual funds and unit trusts. These comments typically criticise the fund managers who have “failed to beat the index.”

But is this fair comment?

To decide whether it is, one must first establish what that particular fund manager was supposed to do, and what index his performance is being compared against.

Limited Funds

Comparing the performance of a US stock market fund with a European stock market fund is like comparing apples with oranges: they’re both fruit, but otherwise are very different from each other. Comparative evaluations must take these differences into account.

Mutual funds or unit trusts cannot invest in just anything the fund manager believes is a good bet. All collective-investment funds have strict parameters of what they can and cannot invest in, and the fund managers must work within the constraints of those parameters.

For example, a U.K. Fixed Interest Fund can only hold U.K. gilts or cash; it cannot trade U.K. stocks or European bonds.

A European Equity fund can, not unexpectedly, only hold equities in Europe. But one financial institution’s European equity fund will be very different from another’s.

To continue our fruit analogy, all European equity funds are apples (as opposed to oranges), but each one is a different variety of apple.

For instance, one European equity fund may be permitted to hold only blue-chip stocks in the major markets of Europe, sometimes with pre-set maxima and minima. This means that the fund manager must always hold at least a stipulated minimum percentage of the fund’s assets in any given market, and no more than the permitted maximum, no matter how well or poorly that market is performing relative to others.

Another fund - also classified as a European equity fund - may be permitted to hold a wider range of equities, including stocks of smaller firms in the smaller markets. Yet a third may be permitted to pick relatively obscure stocks which the fund manager believes will do well, and may not be constrained to hold a specified minimum percentage of the fund in any one country.

Performance is relative

Of these three examples, the first would be regarded as a relatively conservative fund, with relatively staid performance.

The second could be regarded as more aggressive, and hence could be more volatile. However, it may well outperform the first fund.

The third example would be regarded as having a higher associated risk, and could well perform poorly for several months until the ‘potential winners’ the fund manager has picked come to fruition. The fund’s performance may then suddenly skyrocket, and perhaps produce a very handsome gain for investors in a relatively short period.

Looked at over a period of only a few months, therefore, the stock-picking fund - our third example - could come either top or bottom of the performance list, and the blue-chip fund - our first example - could similarly produce the opposite result.

However, looked at over a longer period of, say, 3-5 years, the more volatile stock-picking fund may well have outperformed the conservative blue-chips fund in a rising market, and would then be ranked higher in its category.

To measure the performance of any particular fund against another, therefore, one has to know the fund’s management style - in other words, what the fund manager is setting out to achieve.

If the constraints imposed upon him by the fund’s parameters disallow him from investing more than a certain percentage of his fund into the best-performing market, and he is similarly required to maintain a set minimum percentage in the worst performing market, he can hardly be blamed for not coming top of his sectoral league!

Beating the Index

The index of any particular market is the average result of the combined performance of many stocks. These stocks have been selected to reflect the general movement of the market, but are not the combined result of all the stocks on that particular market.

For example, the index of the French stock market - the CAC-40 - combines the performance of 40 blue-chip stocks quoted on the Paris Bourse, while the S&P-500 reflects the average performance of 500 stocks in the U.S.A.

Of course, there are a lot more stocks available in the U.S., and the capitalisation of the U.S. market is very much larger than the French one.

However, the widely quoted Dow Jones Industrial Average Index also reflects performance of U.S. stocks, but a different mix from those which make up the S&P-500. Thus, these two indexes don’t necessarily always move together.

This is confusing for many investors, who believe these indices reflect the movement of the market as a whole. But in fact they only reflect the movement of those stocks which constitute the index - just as the Nasdaq index reflects its constituent stocks, which are heavily biased towards the technology sector, whereas the Dow Jones and S&P reflect their relative bias towards industrial & financial stocks.

For example, during the week before this was written, the S&P-500 index rose by 0.9% while the Dow Jones Industrials’ index rose by 1.2%. They’re both correct, and both accurate, but they’re looking at slightly different areas of the same playing field.

On the other hand, the Morgan Stanley Capital Index - which takes a broader view than either the DJI or S&P500 and therefore may be regarded as looking at the whole playing field - indicated the US stock market as a whole dropped by 1.2%.

So which index do you track? And which index is your favourite fund manager supposed to beat?

Fund managers don’t have crystal balls

It is often forgotten when comparing fund performance against a particular index that these indices always reflect past history. They tell you what happened after the event.

Okay, so does the reported past performance of any particular fund - but when making his investment decisions the fund manager is required to foretell the future, and that is something that very few people get consistently right.

The index only requires someone to track what is happening and add up the numbers. No one (except fund managers) gets any prizes for guessing what it will be tomorrow.

The fund manager on the other hand has to use all his expertise, training, and information gathered by teams of similarly skilled analysts and economists to make informed guesses about what his particular market will do not only tomorrow, but several months into the future.

If the parameters of his fund are similar to those that make up the index of that particular market, and he guesses exactly right, he will exactly match the index. Match, mind you, not beat it.

If the fund’s parameters allow him more discretion, he may be able to beat the index - some of the time. But remember that more flexibility in the fund’s parameters means potentially more volatility in its performance, so the chances of such a fund’s manager consistently beating the index are reduced.

He may beat it this month by quite a wide margin, and next, and then have to wait for his investment decisions to bear fruit again, which can result in the fund’s performance dropping below the index for some time.

Checks, balances & constraints

Some investors believe they will do at least as well as their favoured market by investing only in index-tracking funds.

These funds are supposed to match the performance of the index of any given market by holding similar proportions of those stocks which constitute the index. The fund manager will then adjust his holdings in the fund as potential winners appear or laggards under perform.

Such adjustments, however, have to remain within the pre-set parameters of the fund’s investment profile: typically not more than a certain percentage may be held in any one stock.

Regulatory authorities also set parameters of what a fund manager may or may not do.

For instance, the strictly enforced regulations in the UK disallow a UK stock market index-tracking fund from holding more than 10% of the fund in any one stock - assuming the fund’s trustees permitted the manager that degree of discretion in the first place.

These constraints are supposed to protect investors by preventing undue volatility, or a fund manager favouring and perhaps even influencing the movement of one component stock.

However, since the huge Vodaphone deal went through, this one stock now constitutes about 13% of the UK’s FTSI-100 index.

Hence, the managers of UK index-tracking funds are paradoxically disallowed from holding proportional amounts of those very stocks that constitute the index they are supposed to match. How then are these managers supposed to beat the index when they are prevented from holding sufficient amounts of one of its top performers even to match the index?

So even the best fund managers don’t get it right every time. (And because of the constraints put on them, sometimes it’s not even their fault.) Many of them get it right much of the time, but to get it right all of the time would be virtually impossible. After all, they’re only fund managers, not seers.

To beat the index over a period of, say, a year means the manager has guessed the future correctly - which cynical readers may say is what his job is all about. Fair comment, but could you do it day in, day out, consistently, for month after month, year after year?

But this is what the commentators who complain he didn’t beat the index are expecting from him. And I would cynically suggest that if they could do any better, they’d be highly paid fund or portfolio managers instead of commentators.

Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments. If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, contact Leslie directly by fax on (038) 232522 or e-mail [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.

Editor’s note: Leslie sometimes receives e-mails to which he is unable to respond due to the sender’s automatic return address being incorrect. If you have sent him an e-mail to which you have not received a reply, this may be why. To ensure his prompt response to your enquiry, please include your complete return e-mail address, or a contact phone/fax number.

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The Computer Doctor

by Richard Bunch

From Larry: I bought a computer from Wattana last December and have a problem they cannot seem to rectify. When I log onto my sites (skynary.com/klipspringer or skynary.com/skellem) there is a row of thumbnail pictures across the top. These do not show on my computer. On page 2 (click on “members”) there is a set of links (web demo, etc.) on the right. These show up ok but the ones on the left (education, etc.) only show partially. On page 1 there is also a “hit counter” which is stuck on 36. It is really over 50. Wattana are baffled. They have no idea on what the problem is. I would appreciate any advice on this problem. Computer is a Celeron 433, upgraded to 64k.

Computer Doctor replies: The information you have provided is really inadequate to give anything more than a very general reply. For instance, what is your operating platform? What browser are you using? Who is your ISP? I think it is unlikely that your problems are related to hardware although this cannot be wholly dismissed. The most likely causes of the problem are: your ISP is providing the data so slowly that the pages are timing out before they are fully loaded, the pages are being loaded from a local cache rather than from the web server, or the browser and/or the operating system software are corrupted.

From Simon Smith, Rayong: I work for a company in Rayong, where I am responsible for procurement. We have a number of microfiche viewer/printers, which use toner cartridges. We use between 8 and 10 cartridges per month and at 6,000 baht each it is quite a cost. About six months ago, I saw an advertisement in a magazine for refilled cartridges. These were less than half the price so I ordered a months’ supply, all has been well until the last batch. Two cartridges from this batch have exploded and the estimates we have received for repairs are incredible, far outweighing any savings made. I contacted the company I purchased them from, but they refuse to accept any liability. What would your advice be?

Computer Doctor replies: Well Simon, this is not the first time I have heard about this sort of problem and indeed I have seen it at first hand. The small print in the suppliers’ contract does normally exonerate them from liability. The problem is that there is both positive and negative charge toner available and the machine that uses it dictates which toner is right for your environment. Unfortunately if the company makes an error the only way you know it is wrong is when it explodes and because of the charge, it gets into and sticks to every nook and cranny. It usually necessitates a complete rebuild of the machine which is a complex and lengthy procedure, hence the high cost. I think you can expect to be without the machine for at least a week.

The other point to note is that by using cartridges not supplied by the manufacturer, all warranties will be void. Whilst your particular problem has resulted from toner cartridges, it is worth noting that similar problems can occur from refilling ink jet cartridges. If you save money at the outset you need to bear in mind that you are exposing yourself to a potentially large bill should disaster strike for which there is no recourse.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or E-mail to [email protected]

Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer Technologies Co., Ltd. Providing professional services which include; website design, turnkey e-commerce solutions, website hosting, domain name registration, computer and peripheral sales service and repairs, networks (LAN & WAN) and IT consulting. Please telephone 038 716 816, e-mail [email protected] or see our website www.act.co.th

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Successfully Yours: Pascal Schnyder

by Mirin MacCarthy

Pascal Schnyder is the Executive Chef of the Dusit Resort. He appears to be a young, handsome, beautifully tailored, Asian business executive. Yet he has a Swiss name and laughingly describes himself as, “I feel Swiss, but I am like a banana, yellow on the outside and white inside.” With that intriguing start, it became increasingly obvious that Pascal has a background that not many can match.

On the evening that I met him, I was fortunate enough to meet him in the company of his brilliant Korean wife, Young Hee, and his father, a very Caucasian Swiss pharmacist.

Pascal, it turns out, was born in Seoul Korea and was adopted by his Swiss parents after his biological parents died in an accident when Pascal was only two and a half years old.

Pascal considers himself to be extremely fortunate, being taken to Switzerland to be with two loving adoptive parents. This would sound like a fairy tale for most casual observers, but it was not all a box of Swiss chocolates.

Schooling was not an easy time for Pascal as the other children were mean about his Asian appearance. “School children can be the best friends or the worst enemies. My life is very much marked by this experience, and this is why I like to stay in Asia now.”

But while his passage back to Asia sounds “natural”, considering his birthright, Pascal’s career choice was not so clear cut. His Swiss grandmother wanted him to follow his parents into the medical field and become a doctor, but Pascal admits he was not one who wanted to study too much.

As a boy he found that he liked to cook and a family friend with a hotel accepted him as an apprentice chef, when he was old enough, at the Palace Hotel in Lucerne. Pascal says, “It is not the same thing as being a little boy interested in cooking and a professional chef. It is first my pleasure, then my challenge. There is a big responsibility for the recipe, the menu design, nutrition, hygiene. If my superior is not happy, then no one is happy. It is a very big challenge.”

Pascal says of his career choice, “For me to choose a career as a hotelier is primal. It is my pleasure to eat and my parents liked to travel and so I discovered the life of the hospitality industry. It is something I enjoy doing, every day, as my profession.”

After graduation in 1988 he has spent time at many different hotels all over the world. From the Hilton in Geneva, the Dolder Grand and the Ramada in Zurich, the famous congress and banquet center the Schutzen Haus and then it was to Asia, where he rediscovered Korea and married Young Hee, whom he had met previously in Switzerland at the Ramada Hotel!

From there it was on to other parts of Asia including Japan, the Philippines, Singapore and Hong Kong, eventually settling on a position in the Hong Kong Conrad International.

After some years in Hong Kong, which saw him gain experience in airline catering as well as hotel work, Pascal seized the opportunity to work for a 5 star hotel and came to Thailand, having enjoyed a previous vacation here. He has now been in Thailand for ten months and is still loving it.

When he is not working he enjoys photography, a pursuit he shares with his father, travel and wine tasting. However, for Pascal, wine tasting is more than simply enjoying the odd bottle of Chardonnay. In fact, Young Hee proudly told me that her husband Pascal has a Swiss national wine tasting diploma. A banana with style!

Success to Pascal is achieving the targets he sets for himself in life. “In my career it is being a good chef and trying to provide a good service. It is important for me to be happy; then my staff is happy also, and I can achieve my aims. What drives me is how to develop and to prove myself. I guess you could say it is pride and ego that are the most power generating engines in my daily life.”

Pascal’s advice to anyone who wants to make it as a top chef here is to decide first what you want - a career or a nice life. Obviously, Pascal does not feel those two aspects are the same, and working towards the career is paramount in striving for the top. Just because Thailand appears laid back it is not an excuse to slack. “For anyone working in Thailand, it is important to work in the same way as you would anywhere.”

Pascal is very happy with his life and despite his varied background has found his niche. “In my first two years in apprenticeship I discovered I could make good food. I love good food, and good service. One of the skills you have to learn in this world is good cooking, the other is eating.”

Tropical Thailand must be good for growing bananas!

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Life Force: Young children

by Tracy Murdoch

Starting school can mean exciting new foods for some children. They may also rebel against the usual family foods in favour of what their friends are eating. We should embrace this rather than view it as a problem. Although food is for nourishment and growth of the body it also plays a key role in our social development. If you have been working hard to help your under 5 to develop the taste for wholesome food, then perhaps you can relax a little when they start to experiment. They may be more inclined to “bargain” with you if you allow them to have the foods they want.

Food is used to communicate, to show affection, to reward and provide a feeling of security. When children first go to school it can be a difficult period of adjustment so maybe meal times can be used for more than just nutrition. Young children have increasing control over what they eat and develop a thirst for knowledge, so this is a good opportunity to teach them that there is a wide variety of foods and what they are for. This is really important for youngsters to make informed choices. Try to encourage children to help prepare and cook foods. Allow them to develop a liking for eating with other people and sharing food. These are just as important as the healthy eating guidelines below:

* Eat a variety of foods from all the food groups
* Enjoy your food
* Eat plenty to grow and be active
* Don’t skip meals

* Keep sugary foods to mealtimes and clean your teeth regularly

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Snap Shots: What camera should I buy?

by Harry Flashman

What camera is a question put to every professional photographer in the world and the answer is almost as varied as the numbers of cameras available in the world. Really, it is not an easy call.

Forgetting price constraints and imagining that you want a camera to take “good” photographs of general interest; you know the sort of things, family, holidays, grandchildren and pets, then there is basically only two choices - Compact or SLR (Single Lens Reflex).

Let’s look at the relative advantages and disadvantages of both. Firstly, the Compact. This group of cameras has really brought the fun of photography to many people. In most instances, they are small, easy to use - basically ‘point and shoot’. Initially they only had one fixed lens of generally around 35 mm focal length, but these days, the more up-market models have a “zoom” capability covering the 28 mm to 100 mm range.

As far as focussing is concerned, most Compacts these days are fully Autofocus, though there are still some ‘fixed’ focus lenses around on the very cheapest models. The better ones these days have innumerable steps in the focussing process and are very accurate too.

As far as shutter speed range goes, the modern Compacts will go to around 1/400th of a second, which is enough to stop most action, and they will go as slow as around a 1 to 2 second exposure.

Size does matter, with cameras at least, and most Compacts are small enough to slip into a handbag or pocket, which is another decided advantage over the SLR brigade.

On paper then, it looks as if the Compact has everything going for it. Why even consider an SLR? Well, there are some areas where unfortunately, the Compact falls short. The first is the restriction in lenses. A compact will not do you much good if you want to do wildlife photography, with only around 100 mm telephoto ability.

Another area where the Compact is limited is in the use of filters. To get those really rich and vibrant colours, it is necessary to use such devices as Polarizing filters - there is no provision for the use of these with Compacts.

Most Compacts also come with their own inbuilt flash and while it is adequate for most night or low light level shots, it does have limitations. Adequate is the operative word.

So what about the SLR group? With this type of camera, you actually look through the camera’s lens when composing the shot. What you see is what you get. You have a huge range of lenses to choose from, both original equipment and after market brands, to take you from ultra-wide (16 mm) through to huge telephoto lenses of around 600 mm, which you can use to photograph lions eating without getting so close to the action you end up on the dinner menu as well.

SLRs also have greater ranges of shutter speeds, from time exposures of any time you like, through to 1/4000th of a second. The range of aperture settings in the lens is also greater in the SLR group - and, even more importantly, you can dictate the settings you want.

That is where the principle differences lie - with the compact, there is little you can fiddle with to experiment or manipulate - with SLRs the skies’ the limit. Of course, the full range of filters may be used with SLRs as well, again making it possible for you, the photographer to ‘produce’ different shots at will.

With all these creative possibilities in one camera, why would you ever bother thinking about a Compact? Well, the SLR does have some disadvantages too. Size and weight are two principal ones. An SLR is not the camera you put in your handbag unless you have a very large receptacle and a couple of porters to carry it. By the time you add up camera, three lenses and a flash you are looking at quite some weight, especially with the semi-pro equipment.

So what would Harry buy? In a compact, the Olympus mju Zoom 80 and an FM2n SLR. More about this next week!

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Modern Medicine: The 10 Commandments!

by Dr Iain Corness

What has a rabbit got to do with what you should eat? Actually lots, and by that, I don’t mean that you should immediately rush out and buy a bowl of bunny burgers!

Way back in the days of button-up boots and before the advent of ball point pens and cling wrap, a Russian Pathologist called Anitschkow demonstrated that raised Cholesterol produced hardening of the arteries supplying the heart muscle (the coronary arteries). That was 1913 and Anitschkow’s work was done on bunny rabbits, but medical science was not convinced that what happened to Brer Rabbit would actually happen to us. After all, we are not really large rabbits!

However, a huge study was done in America (The Framingham Study by Dr. Kanel) and the initial results published in 1960. This appeared to show that Cholesterol and heart disease were intimately connected. But the medical world is slow to react to change, I’m afraid, and Kanel’s words fell onto some stony ground. I must say that I attended a lecture given by the good doctor himself in the early 70s and to me it looked all very logical, but the medical world was still slow to embrace the Cholesterol concept.

It was not until the Scandinavian 4S study in 1994 that the need to lower Cholesterol became universally accepted. For those of mathematical bent - that’s 81 years after Anitschkow pointed the scientific finger at Cholesterol.

Since the 4S study, the world at large has gone mad comparing different ways of reducing Cholesterol, from diet all the way through to drugs. All sorts of claims have been made with ethnic differences being explored, along with exercises and fads. Having made the decision to accept the need to reduce we are now collecting the results of all these trials and studies. Looking into these, some are good scientific facts and some are just dead-set silly, but out of the mess I have been able to find the 10 Dietary Commandments as proposed by Australian Cardiologist David Colquhoun. Cut them out and laminate and stick to the refrigerator! Here goes:

1. Eat bread every day, preferably multigrain.
2. Eat some fruit every day.
3. Never eat Cream or Butter again.
4. Eat more fish and eat less meat.
5. Use olive oil every day.
6. Eat some vegetables every day.
7. Eat a handful of nuts every day.
8. Use more fresh herbs and garlic.
9. Have a glass of wine with food every day.
10. Eat in a relaxed way and enjoy your food.

Now all that looks fairly easy and the glass of wine with it all suits me down to the ground, I must say. It is also a diet that is very easy to follow in Pattaya, where fish and fruit abound. Just look at Thai food and how it fits in - herbs, garlic, vegetables, little meat, more fish, no dairy products, substitute rice for multigrain and you have a wonderful recipe for a healthy Cholesterol reducing diet.

So what’s your Cholesterol level? Pop into the Bangkok-Pattaya Hospital and my medical colleagues there will soon find out for you. It could just be the start of a new you.

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Dear Hillary,

I am a Dutch guy and I would like to have some advice. I have, just like many other farangs, a Thai girlfriend. We would like to get married but we don’t know what to decide in what way, since Thai girls married to farangs cannot own land. Here is the problem, because her parents own quite a bit of land and on the other hand we would like to move in about a year to the rainy low lands, and we are expecting a child. Please help us with some good advice. Meanwhile we will wait for your answer.

Greetings,

Richard and Uma

Dear Richard and Uma,

I take it the “good advice” you want is about real estate and not about the child you are expecting! The answer to your land problems is spelt out fully for you in the Pattaya Mail newspaper of Friday April 7, Vol III No 14. In the column “Family Money” by Leslie Wright, “Getting Real about Real Estate,” Leslie points out that the Thai law has been recently amended so that a Thai woman married to a farang can own real estate in her own name now. I am unclear if you are talking about just inheriting land or purchasing elsewhere. In a nutshell though, Leslie advises, “Putting your savings investment solely into a partner’s name is clearly inadvisable no matter how loved the beloved. Financially also it is far more sound a prospect to rent property rather than buy.” This should be a weight off your shoulders. Good luck with the new baby. They turn into human beings around 24 years of age.

Dear Hillary,

I saw some what I call “ugly” farangs, you know, fat beer bellies, drunk and noisy groping some of the little girls in a bar. Don’t you think this is disgusting? Do the girls deserve this kind of treatment? What can be done about getting rid of people like this in Pattaya?

John

Dear John,

Ooh! A “Dear John” letter! Yes what a good idea, why don’t you introduce a law: all ugly, fat, beer bellied, drunk, noisy and groping farangs will be shot at dawn daily.

Dear Hillary,

Don’t you think this Songkran thing is getting out of hand? Where does all this madness come from? What should we do next time? This was our first time for this event (festival?) and we do not want to get so wet ever again. What do you suggest?

Wet Wilma

Dear Wet Wilma,

Sadly, yes Songkran seems to have lost its special sacredness of traditionally paying respect to the Elders and has disintegrated into the mayhem of a wet Mardi Gras. Certainly it is tedious but there are no signs of the madness diminishing.

Buy flak jackets and rain coats or horde supplies and barricade yourselves indoors could be one solution. The only other escapes are stripping down to swimmers and getting into it with fire hoses or leaving the country at least a week in advance while there are still planes out. Do not ride motorcycles at any time during Songkran and keep your purse in a plastic bag unless you like soggy money. Hmmm. Perhaps that’s what Lesley Wright means when he talks about “floating” the baht!

Dear Hillary,

I read almost every week about these men who have “fallen in love” with the Thai girls. What is wrong with their own women? Do you really believe these men? Or are you one of them too?

Wondering Westerner

Dear Wondering,

Search me? Darling, I believe everybody! And am I one as well? One what?

Dear Hillary,

My father (a widower) is coming over to see my husband and I next month. He gets along very well with my husband and already hubby is making noises about taking Dad out to some of the places he wouldn’t take me, for example. How do I convince my husband that these places are not suitable for my father, and he should be more discreet with where he takes him? As I have a busy schedule with organisations and charity work, I cannot be with him all the time as a chaperone.

Ruth

Dear Ruth,

Haven’t you heard it is your father’s position to supply moral guardianship for you, not vice versa? It is up to your father, and most certainly not you, to choose his preferred entertainment. Perhaps you feel the need to step into your late Mum’s shoes as moral guardian, protector of families, thought police? Have a think about what you are proposing; it is destructive, irrelevant and interfering. Try taking on the interested daughter role instead and allow your father his own place. However, perhaps you should go with them one night and have your eyes opened. There’s lots of “fun” out there. You don’t have to be serious all the time.

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GRAPEVINE

Bit of a disaster
A former Khmer Rouge guerrilla has shot dead a male rival for his wife’s affection near the border with Thailand. Kiw Heng said he had taken the drastic action after noticing that his wife was sat next to another man in the local cinema shack two hundred kilometers from Phnom Penh. A Cambodian army spokesman pointed out that Kiw Heng had recently attended a six weeks’ UN course on human rights which made the unauthorized killing somewhat surprising. However, Kiw’s lawyer clarified that his client insisted that there had been absolutely no lessons about going to the movies.

The Full Monty
A newly trained sex change artiste has been arrested for performing a nude act on stage at a non family place of entertainment near a main road. She had to borrow a plastic mackintosh from a friend to avoid embarrassment at the police station where she was to be interviewed. Here, she strongly protested that she had not in fact been naked as she cavorted round the stage. She said that she was wearing an Egyptian pharaoh’s hat at all times and was constantly using props such as an imitation snake and a pineapple to distract the audience from ogling her too much.

Choice eating
GEOC (Grapevine Eating Out Collective) paid a return trip this week to Sizzler in the Royal Garden Plaza. The salad bar at 130 baht is excellent value and also includes a choice of several soups (most notably creamy pumpkin), pasta and several sweets including fresh fruit and chocolate moose. They do a very tasty cheeseburger if you want to order a la carte... Good to see that Saryna Restaurant is back in business opposite the old Day and Night store. South Pattaya Road is not overly endowed with elite restaurants and there’s a tasty choice here of Swiss, German and Thai food.

Breaking news
A Bangkok expert failed to turn up for a lecture he was scheduled to give on Coping With Personal Crises. He phoned in to say his house was on fire... A handsome lift operator in a top Rome hotel has been sacked after complaints that he was never on duty and spent up to two hours at a time delivering bags to single visitors’ rooms. He had previously won the employee of the month award, but it is not known why... A would be bank robber in Florida, USA, hypnotized a member of the staff before ordering her to give him the combination of the till safe. He was promptly arrested and police commented the cleaning lady did not know the secret numbers anyway.

Post office query
Reader GF asks if you have any redress if a letter or packet, sent by the EMS route, fails to be delivered. Afraid not. Provided you keep the receipt, you can prove you posted it but there is no formal tracking after that until the recipient signs the docket at the other end. In the case of non delivery, you can take the receipt to the post office and ask them to look into the matter. Best of luck. EMS should not be confused with registered mail or use of private delivery services such as DHL which provide an audit trail at all stages.

Airport taxis
Fares from Pattaya have gone up by leaps and bounds in the last three months as the price of petrol and diesel has skyrocketed at the pumps. It pays to shop around and to make sure whether the quoted price includes toll plaza charges on the motorways. Curiously, when fuel costs fall, there never seems to a reduction in the price asked. Meanwhile, Pattaya baht bus drivers are still accepting, often with reluctance, five baht for a short ride on a regular route during the daytime. Whatever their critics say, this is good value for money and has remained the same for umpteen years. The big profits for baht bus drivers come after the sun has set, and especially in the wee hours.

Phone madness
A disenchanted farang was having big trouble with his girlfriend. Bad temper and arguments were most definitely the order of the day. Things finally came to a head one morning when the husband announced he was going to Europe for three weeks. He ordered that they were finished and that she had better be gone by the time he returned. When the farang did come back, the house was in a dreadful state and everything of value was gone. Whilst he was clearing up the mess, he noticed the phone was off the hook. He replaced it and thought nothing of the matter... until the monthly telephone bill arrived. It was astronomical, running into hundreds of thousands of baht. He immediately queried the matter, only to be told that the phone had been connected to the speaking clock weather report in Los Angeles for a three week period.

The Sydney Olympic Web Site
Actual e-mail questions to them include:

If I walk from Perth to Sydney, can I follow the railroad tracks?

Are there any ATM machines in Australia and can you send a list?

Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef?

Which direction is North in Australia?

Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule?

Do your camels have one hump or two?

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Dining Out: Tex O’Mex, the Irish Jalapeno Kid!

by Miss Terry Diner

There used to be an advertisement that read, “When you’re on a good thing - stick to it.” Kim Fletcher from Delaney’s Irish Pub on Pattaya Second Road has taken that a step further, “When you’re on a good thing - build on it!”

Following on from the very successful “All You can Eat” Carvery nights, he then branched out into the Friday Curry Nights and then the Tuesday Pasta Nights. Finding he was sitting on his hands on Wednesdays, the next move was into the Mex cuisine for another “All you can Eat”, but this time it’s a Mexican night.

At Kim’s request, the Dining Out Team, in matching poncho’s of course, descended on Delaney’s last Wednesday. Met by the broad beaming smile of Beautiful, we were escorted to our table and a Singha Gold “magically” appeared at my elbow (does his homework, that lad Kim) while Beautiful explained the format of the Mexican nights.

The buffet is 240 baht and go up as often as you like - and we saw more than one go up more than once while Beautiful continued her explanations. The main thrust is towards Burrito’s, Tostada’s and Taco’s, with all sorts of sides and additions you can choose from. These included Mexican fried rice, American fried rice, Mexican baked beans, Chilli Con Carne, Salsa, three kinds of Capsicum (red, green, yellow), grated cheese, shredded lettuce, sour cream, Mexican tomato sauce, onion and the almost mandatory ingredient - a bowl of Jalapeno peppers.

Mindful of the pig I had made of myself at the Pasta Night, I approached Chef Sunny and his assistants slowly. Starting with a Chicken Burrito I added some American fried rice, a goodly “dollop” of the baked beans and some Chilli Con Carne. Madame, on the other hand began with a Chicken Tostada along with a little lettuce and sour cream.

The next item on the evening’s agenda was the drink to go with the Mexican food. Beautiful told us that for the Mexican nights, Margarita’s were only 80 baht, but you could have a 12 glass pitcher for only 400 baht. Having been brought up frugally by my mother, Mrs. Diner, I plumped for the large economy size and a pitcher of Margarita’s duly arrived.

Madame’s Tostada was very tasty and quite mild - a good starter for those who are a little wary of some elements of the Mexican cuisine. After polishing off her plate, Madame repaired to the buffet section and returned with a big smile and a big plate of Taco’s.

My Burrito had just a little tingle and the Chilli Con Carne was certainly not nuclear, although hot enough for me. The next item that really was an eye opener was the Margarita. Regular readers of this column know that Miss Terry washes everything down with Singha Gold (honestly, I don’t know why the Boon Rawd Brewery doesn’t put me on contract), but the beer just did not go with the Mexican food. But the Margarita’s did! The slightly sweet, slightly salty and tart flavour went perfectly with the tangy Mexican dishes.

Approaching Sunny for the second time, it was a Chicken Taco that was selected, to which I added lettuce, cheese, capsicum and sour cream. The Taco shells were crisp and the end result was the best Taco I’ve ever had (and I made it)!

My favourite of the evening was a toss up between the Chilli Con Carne and my specially built Taco, while Madame’s vote was for the Tostada’s. And both of us loved the Margarita’s! (In fact we had a second pitcher, which we shared with friends, I hasten to add.)

So that was our Mexican night. For me it is great value at 240 baht and the food was excellently prepared and presented, as we have come to expect at Delaney’s. If you like Mexican cuisine, or would like to try, the Dining Out Team can recommend this place without hesitation.

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Lotus Eaters: Songkran - the origins and significance

by Mirin MacCartry

How did Songkran, the “Thai New Year Water-Throwing Festival” evolve? At its most primeval, this is a celebration of water bringing new life.

Cultivation of rice is vital to the Thai and Asian economy and culture. It is supported by the agricultural cycle and the abundant seasonal monsoon rains. Songkran marks the beginning of the rainy season and is still thought of by many rice farming villagers as an invocation to the Water Goddess - the Moon - to ask for Her continued showers of abundance for the year. However, like so many ancient traditions it has along the way melded with Brahmin, Hindu, Buddhist and Animist beliefs.

As everyone is now very well aware, Songkran is celebrated nationwide in April, and marks the start of the Thai (lunar) New Year. Household Buddha images are purified by holy water and families gather to pay respect to their elders. Family elders are honoured by pouring blessed scented water over their hands and presenting them small gifts usually of cloth or towels (dare I suggest this is to help mop up?).

Songkran marks the end of the dry season when the yearly crops have been harvested and there is no more work to be done except to celebrate and give thanks to the Moon Goddess of the Waters for her blessings and call in the rains. The rice farmers in the north have plenty of time for anticipation of fun, “sanuk”.

In Chiang Mai, Songkran lingers over ten days of wild exuberance, (while some of us consider, fortunately) the fun and festivities is limited to three days to a week in more urban areas such as Bangkok and Pattaya.

In these “civilized” days, Songkran has actually devolved into a frenzy of sanuk bent Thais changing an animist spiritual ceremony into a wild crazed water bombardment. While traditionally small silver bowls were used for ceremoniously pouring lustral water over the hands of respected elders, today the more ingenious use water trucks and fire hoses and large plastic pump action water pistols, together with plastering white powder over everyone and everything that stands still long enough.

Back in yesteryear, before sanuk seeking, when the true Songkran traditions were observed, Songkran was the celebration of three important days. The first day, Wan Songkran was the last day of the old year when day and night were believed to last each exactly twelve hours. Thought of as the hottest day of the year, firecrackers were set off to chase away evil spirits and the entire family co-operated in what Westerners would call a spring clean. The whole house and yard were cleaned thoroughly to banish all bad joss and demonic spirits. This is the day water fights start, and perhaps because it is the hottest day of the year it has become a tradition to gleefully pour gallons of water over complete strangers. Pretty Thai girls and farangs in white are targeted. Because of the sheer volume of water thrown nobody escapes a drenching if they venture out on to the streets.

The second day is called Wan Now and is the day that separates the old year from the new. In the morning, families prepare food and offerings to be presented to the monks the next day, New Years Day. In the afternoon Thai groups carry sand into their temple compound. They build model stupas from the sand and decorate them with small brightly coloured flags. This is performed to gain enough merit for wicked ancestors who have gone to hell, so that they may be finally released. It is a special day to be cautious in speech and behaviour. Cursing or speaking ill of others will bring bad luck through the entire coming year.

On the third day is Paya Wan, New Years Day. People gather at the temples early in the morning with food and offerings for the monks. Buddha images in temples and in homes are washed and polished and sprinkled with scented lustral water, which also brings merit. Then the water battles start all over again. This is the day when younger family members visit their elders to pay their respect. They take small gifts of cloth or food and kneeling, trickle scented water into the cupped hands of their elders while asking their forgiveness for any offences during the past year and their blessings for the coming year.

Then it is back into water fights again.

No matter whether the water is trickled reverently, poured politely or thrown hysterically, Thais always do it with the intent of calling in the life giving monsoon rains and to bestow the blessings of renewal and the New Year. It is important for farangs to try to take these drenching Songkran festivities in the spirit they are meant, both in fun and as a blessing. You are really privileged to be able to be part of it. Just wear a swimsuit!

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Down The Iron Road: Engines Of War 2 - The USA

by John D. Blyth

Introduction

The locomotives built by American firms for use in the 1914-1918 war were mainly of the 2-8-0 type and were used in France and Belgium. Many survived almost to the end of steam in France, having become the property of the State Railway.

The vast capacity of the American locomotive industry resulted in thousands of locomotives being built for war service in the 1939-1945 period. Even before the Pearl Harbour disaster, locomotives were being built to the order of the British Government under the ‘lease-lend’ arrangements then in force. The standard book on this subject embodies no less than 40 chapters: I cannot do it justice in 900 words, so I will choose three types which may have been seen during or after the war by some of my readers.

The S. 160 type

No less than 210 of this type of locomotive were built between 1942 and 1945; all were to the standard European track gauge 1435 mm, except 200 for Russia, gauge 1524mm, and 60 for India, gauge 1676mm. Those for India had some small modifications, but those for Russia were to the basic design, with no provision for the extreme cold they would encounter. All were built to fit the most restrictive height and width limits set by the railways of Britain, and it was in Britain that they were first seen in action, from the end of 1942 onwards. In preparation for the D-Day invasion in Europe, a very large number were sent to Britain, a good proportion of which did not work in our country but were checked and put into store, mainly in South Wales. One such store was remarkable in that it was formed by 119 locomotives in one long line on a disused section at Treforest. Others were put into temporary service in Britain until wanted for service elsewhere, and they became a familiar sight with their high-pitched boiler, high footplating along the sides. Both in Britain and on the Continent there were a number of bad boiler explosions eventually found to be design fault, not identified until several locomotives had been written off and some deaths had occurred though burns. Other that that they were designed for a life of no more than 90 days(!), by which time it was thought they would have been damaged in some way. Some taken over by the main line railways in Greece, Italy, Turkey and some of the ‘Iron Curtain’ countries, were still going strong more than twenty years later.

Type S.160 2-8-0 locomotive, formerly working for the Italian State Railway, in service on the Greek State Railway at Larissa, in May 1965.

Photographs of them in the UK are not too common due to wartime restrictions and shortage of film, so I have chosen one of my own (photo No.1), taken on the Greek State Railways at Larissa in 1965. All those in service in Greece had been bought from the Italian State Railways a year or so earlier.

In the year 2000, it is hard to say where one of these engines could now be seen; I do not know any railway still operating one, nor have I a record of one in a museum. 2120 locomotives is a lot of metal to lose sight of!

Standard and Broad gauge 2-8-2 locomotives

In late 1941 the British Government ordered 200 heavy locomotives for work in the Middle East. All were built in 1942 by the ‘ALCo’, Lima and Baldwin companies. They were put into work on the line from the Suez Canal to Palestine, working through Haifa and into Lebanon as far as Beirut; I also used to work the through Cairo-Haifa express from and to Kantara West, such a powerful locomotive had taken over from an Egyptian ‘Atlantic’ with very little adhesion weight, which always had such a struggle to get the big train on the move from each stop.

Former ‘Middle East’ type locomotive, transferred to the Turkish State Railway in 1943 as No.46204, seen at Ankara outside the locomotive depot in May 1964.

Some of these locomotives were also used in Iran, and in 1943 some were sent to Turkey also; more came to that country after the war and they were used much on local trains and around Ankara. My picture shows one of them (photo No.2) outside the locomotive depot in Ankara.

U.S.A. shunting locomotive No. 1261, with about 23 others, in store on Newbury Racecourse in October 1947.

In Italy, due to some kind of ‘red tape’, the S.160 2-8-0s were only used on lines controlled by the U.S.A. Transportation Corps; the shortage and poor quality of Italian locomotives caused a shortage in the British controlled areas. Thus a number of these ‘Middle East’ locomotives were shipped from Port Said to Taranto to help out. They were in service on the State Railway for about 10 years, but had been withdrawn by 1956, before my first visit there. I have a suspicion that the Italians were somewhat afraid of them; they did not care for locomotives that were big, unless of a poor Italian design, nor those that produced steam too freely, as a crew which allowed steam to blow to wast through safety valves was liable to an on-the-spot fine. Shades of Bangkok Police!

CWD and AWD locomotives for India

There was virtually no difference between those two types other than small details; they had been built in Canada (CWD) and the USA (AWD), to a total of 434 locomotives. Other than the difference in gauge they were also almost identical to the ‘Middle East’ locomotives described above. They had been designed to be the equal in power to existing Indian locomotives of Class ‘XD’, the general purpose heavy freight locomotives; there was also a Class ‘XE’, which were bigger, and so a small number of ‘AWE’ locomotives were also supplied, the main change being a bigger boiler. The locomotives of both types worked on the Bengal & Assam line with its heavy coal traffic and the North Western and Great Indian Peninsular sections. They were still a common sight on many Indian main lines in the late ’70s.

The U.S.A Shunting Engine

Few of us in the U.K knew about this type until we saw one! These little six wheelers were intended for shunting duties at Army depots in the U.K. and in Europe, although a small number also went to the Middle East: the Army Workshops at Jaffa and Suez each had one and there have been many others. In the U.K. some also went to help out at the collieries and steel works, and they worked also in France, Austria, Greece, Yugoslavia (who built some more for themselves), and some ‘Iron Curtain’ sates. There were too many! - those in my picture, in store on Newbury Racecourse in 1947, had been there for at least two years. It was from these that the Southern Railway bought a number for shunting at Southampton Docks - possibly the best-known of all of them.

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Coins of the Realm: Major Auction for Roman Coins

by Jan Olav Amalid,
President House of the Golden Coin
http://www.thaicoins.com

On the 29th of March in Zurich, the largest auction for Roman coins this year was conducted by the Swiss coin company Numismatica Ars Classica. The company, which is run by four Italian coin experts, is well known for its high quality coins.

Denarius of the emperor Augustus with his naval general and son-in-law Agrippa on the reverse, struck in the year 12 BC. Agrippa died later that year, which is probably the reason why the coin is so rare. (Sold for CHF 60,000)

This auction, which was #18, was no exception. The highest price at the auction was paid for a Roman gold medallion of 4 aurei struck in AD 308 for the Roman Emperor Maxentius. This gold coin came from the so-called “Parthentico hoard”, which was found in the Mediterranean in the 1950s. Almost all large gold coins known from this emperor are from this treasure, and this was the best known out of four pieces of this variety. The whole hoard contained some 20 medallions. After being called out at CHF 100,000, the hammer fell on the block at CHF 200,000, + 15% commission.

Sesterius of the emperor Galba struck in the year 68 AD. This is a splendid example of Roman portraiture of the best style. (Sold for CHF 50,000)

A gold aureus of the empress Julia Mamaea, mother of the emperor Severus Alexander (222-235 AD) became almost as expensive at the auction. A gold coin from this empress has not been for sale for more than 10 years. After strong bidding between an Italian collector and a Norwegian dealer, the latter secured the coin for CHF 190,000.

Medallion of 4 aurei in gold of the emperor Maxentius, struck in the year 308. This auction’s most expensive coin fetched CHF 200,000.

Silver and bronze coins also secured fantastic prices; for example, a silver medallion of the emperor Hadrian (117-138 AD) was sold to a Swiss dealer for CHF 135,000.

The huge interest for high grade ancient coins was proven during the whole auction. High prices were fetched even for the coins of the later, not historically important emperors. A solidus in gold, for instance, of the usurper Priscus Attalus (409-410 and 414-415 AD) was knocked down on CHF 140,000 after being called out on CHF 40,000.

A new record price was set for a silver denarius of the emperor Augustus (27 BC - 14 AD). Augustus was the first and the longest reigning of the Roman emperors. During his reign, Jesus Christ was born.

Denarius of Septimius Severus, 193-211 AD. The reverse commemorates the building of his triumphal arch, which still stands in Rome beside the Coliseum. (Sold for CHF 2,400)

These coins are normally traded for between CHF 1,000 and 2,000. A fantastic piece with the portrait of his general Agrippa on the reverse was not knocked down before it had reached a fantastic CHF 60,000. Agrippa was married to Augustus’ daughter Julia and was his heir to the throne, but preceded him.

The market for ancient Roman coins is world-wide. A lot of coins are found in the ground every year and millions of coins are always available. Most of these coins are common and of lower grade, fetching prices in the range of 5 to 50 US dollars. The few top pieces that are around are rare and widely sought after and these coins are commanding rapidly increasing prices, like the coins at this auction.

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Animal Crackers: Jojo the happy monkey

by Mirin MacCarthy

This week’s story comes directly from the files of the Pattaya Animal Welfare Society (PAWS) and is a happy one. Lesley Warner writes:

A gentleman phoned me the other day. He was in a terrible dilemma, because of ill health he was unable to look after his monkey anymore. Could PAWS help him?

The monkey came from Laos; he’s a Macaque (Ling Wog in Thai); he was 2 months old when he first came to Pattaya and is now 18 months old. They named him Walter J. Freud but as he will not answer to this name, he is called ‘Jojo’.

He’s a very happy and healthy monkey that likes to take a bath and when no one is watching. Not only does he swim in the pool, but he’s a great comedian. Jojo eats fruit, vegetables, pasta and rice and if given the chance he will steal things - especially money!

The first place that came to mind was Nong Nooch because when I last visited there I was very impressed with their animals. At Nong Nooch they said they would be happy to help PAWS and give ‘Jojo’ a home.

When we reached the Tropical Gardens a translator, Khun Poo, had been provided for us. Khun Poo introduced me to Dr. Poom and Dr. Vinai, two of the vets that look after the large variety of animals they have in the Gardens. Dr. Poom offered to show me where they would keep ‘Jojo’ while they assessed him. So we climbed into a strange little wagon that bumped and bounced it’s way to a private area where they keep animals that need special attention.

It’s a beautiful setting, large individual cages set amongst huge palms. Dr. Poom then took me to be introduced to the other animals in the Mini Zoo. As we passed through I managed to get a photo of one of the large Chimps taking his bath. He was covered in soap suds and obviously having a wonderful time.

I met up with Khun Poo and she took me to the show of Thai Boxing and Traditional Dancing, then it was time for the Elephant Show. I was especially interested in this, as Dr. Poom had said that they might be able to use ‘Jojo’ and his natural comic character in this show.

All the staff at Nong Nooch are willing to do what they can to help Pattaya Animal Welfare Society. More and more people are coming to realize how beneficial it will be for PAWS to help them with their animal problems. We need more volunteers but if you cannot help with time perhaps you could give a small donation. Contact PAWS on Email [email protected] or Fax (038) 231675.

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Copyright 2000  Pattaya Mail Publishing Co.Ltd.
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260, Thailand 
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Updated by Chinnaporn Sangwanlek, assisted by Boonsiri Suansuk.