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Family Money: The
Riddle of Death
By Leslie Wright
It never ceases to amaze me how many residents of
Pattaya believe they are immortal.
A good number of people who seek my professional advice
have not bothered to make a will, and seem blithely unconcerned about the
ramifications this may have on their estate, and the problems their lack
of forethought may create for their loved ones after their passing.
Unfortunately, none of us is immortal, and realisation
of this sad fact is necessary to sound financial planning - both as
regards estate planning and ensuring your pension provisions are adequate
to last throughout the rest of your lifetime.
Those more philosophical readers may occasionally
ponder their passing and pose the question: “Why do we die when we
do?”
We may well be resentful of our mortality when the
opportunities abound in Pattaya to recapture lost youth. (Or, looked at
another way, for lost youths to capture us opportunities...) Either way,
we may tend to push the unpleasant prospect of dying out of our conscious
thoughts - and thus lead to our failing to make provision for it. Once
again, the old adage holds true which says, “Those who fail to plan,
plan to fail.”
Nevertheless, some comfort may be taken from reliable
evidence which shows that life expectancy is increasing at a steady rate.
Dying later
In the early 1840s, British citizens were reckoned at
birth to have a life expectancy of only about 40 for a man or 41 for a
woman. Today, life expectancy at birth is about 75 for men and 80 for
women. In the interim, life span figures have been increasing by a fairly
steady two years-plus every decade.
There is every indication that the rate of improvement
over the past century-and-a half will at least remain stable, although an
acceleration is more likely.
While some readers may seek a divine explanation for
this phenomenon, for insurance companies it is simply a matter of
actuarial science. The managing director of a leading British reinsurance
company was recently quoted as saying, “I don’t think there is an
upper age limit. The increases will just keep on coming.”
According to the managing director of one US research
group, “The majority of the factors affecting longevity are
environmental.”
Advances in surgery, preventive medicine and drug
treatments, combined with healthier lifestyles, are the most influential
reasons.
Future medical breakthroughs will play an even bigger
role, whereby the removal of a significant cause of death at the older
ages (such as cancer) will have a marked impact on average longevity. A
cure for cancer could increase average life expectancies across the UK
population by three or four years; a cure for Alzheimer’s disease would
add six months.
It is in genetics, however, that the most scope for
change is expected. While academic studies have shown that only a quarter
of the variation in longevity can be attributed to genetic factors, they
also show that some of the advances are enormous. And this research will
almost certainly continue - despite the debates now raging on the
religious and moral aspects of genetic manipulation.
Scientists have now identified something akin to a
longevity gene. Telomere, a form of DNA that sits on the end of
chromosomes, shortens with ageing. According to the report, stopping that
shortening could make cells immortal.
The implications
What do these developments mean to you and me? For
anyone seeking financial security in retirement, life expectancy is of
vital concern.
Recent developments suggest that insurance companies’
actuaries have consistently underestimated the rate at which life spans
are lengthening, and figures from UK government actuaries show extremely
conservative rates of longevity increases. According to the report, the
projected figures for 2050 could be out by as much as 10 years.
As a result, selling annuities has not been a very
profitable business for the insurers - a fact they’re now waking up to
with actuaries in the insurance community being put under pressure to get
their bets right. Underestimating average life expectancy by just two
years could easily cost one of the UK’s big life assurers ฃ200m.
All the better for us customers, you might think. The
companies’ loss is our gain. But as more and more life companies get
wise to their underestimates, the rates they pay on annuities are being
pushed down, making them far less enticing than they were just a few years
ago.
The primary factor in determining pay outs from an
annuity is of course prevailing interest rates; but low interest rates in
recent years combined with the recent revisions to insurers’
underestimates means that the return from an annuity nowadays is hardly
better than an ordinary deposit account with a building society.
The only way to ‘beat the odds’ as a pensioner is
to outsmart your annuity provider by living well past their actuaries’
life expectancy projections.
The Magic Formula
So what, according to the statistics, is the Magic
Formula for longevity?
* Be a 1931 baby. If you are a UK citizen in your 69th
year, take heart from knowing that you and your peers represent an
uncommonly healthy blip in the actuaries’ mortality chart. They say you
had a better diet during World War II; you benefited from the introduction
of the state health service in 1948; and that you have smoked fewer
cigarettes and had fewer children than the previous generation. According
to one reinsurer: “People born in the 1930s have experienced
consistently greater mortality improvements than people born in preceding
generations.”
* Be female. Women in the US and western Europe now
outlive men by about six years. (Who says now that they’re the weaker
sex?)
* Take out a pension. Demographic studies show that
people who can afford life assurance and a pension are likely to earn more
and belong to a higher social class. In every age group, the higher the
social class, the longer the life expectancy. (However, for no one clear
reason, the same insurance-equals-longer-life maxim does not apply for
women.)
* Don’t smoke. Between 1994 and 1996, for example,
the percentage of smokers fell for professional people, employers and
managers. Other social classes, especially the unskilled workers, smoked
more. Smoke and you die younger. (Which is why insurance premiums are
generally higher for smokers than for non-smokers.)
* Get married. This is the icing on the cake, according
to the statistics. Marry the right partner and you will live such a secure
life that it can go on and on. Get it wrong (divorce), strike it unlucky
(find yourself widowed) or live a single existence and statistics say you
are more likely to die early...
If you have any comments or queries on this article, or
about other topics concerning investment matters, contact Leslie Wright
directly by fax on (038) 232522 or e-mail [email protected], or write
to him c/o Family Money, Pattaya Mail. Further details and back articles
can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.
Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services
(Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice
to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial
planning and international investments.
| Life expectancy
at birth
(years) |
| |
Japan
Sweden
UK
France
Italy
Germany
USA
China
India
South Africa |
77
76
74
74
73
72
66 |
| Source:
UNI Development programme |
The Computer Doctor
by Richard Bunch
From Bob Lee: If you recall I
contacted you last week in regards to receiving my Hotmail messages direct -
as per a similar enquiry that you had a couple of weeks ago. I went out, and
then installed the Outlook Express 5. I followed your instructions, lo and
behold everything went well. My Hotmail addresses are up on the screen, etc.
But when I try and retrieve these messages I get the following: report.error:
80004005 socket error: 12019 not connected port :0 protocol HTTPMail. What
have I forgotten to do? Please advise me what the next step should be. My
server is Loxinfo. Thanking you in anticipation.
Computer Doctor replies: Bob, it is difficult for me
to put my finger on this one. Often the error message reported is somewhat
ambiguous. That said, assuming you have followed the instructions exactly
and are using the correct version of Outlook Express, then the problem
almost certainly is coming from your Dial up Networking settings. Check
whether you have a Proxy server enabled; if you have then try disabling it.
Conversely, if you do not have a Proxy Server set then set one according to
the settings provided by your ISP.
A little more on Internet jargon
Following on from last week’s article, I thought in
view of the response, I would take the time to explain a few more of the
terms we find on the Internet.
The Backbone is the Internet’s high speed data
highway that serves as a major access point to which other networks can
connect.
PING (Packet Internet Groper). This is a program
used to determine whether a specific IP address is accessible. It works by
sending a packet to the specified address and waiting for a reply. PING is
used primarily to troubleshoot Internet connections. In addition, PING
reports how many hops are required to connect two Internet hosts.
IP Address (Internet Protocol Address) This is a
numeric address that is given to servers and users connected to the
Internet. For servers it is translated into a domain name by a Domain
Name Server (DNS). When you get “online” you are assigned an IP
address by your Internet Service Provider (ISP). This IP address may
be the same every time you log on (this is called a static IP) or it can
change and be assigned each time you connect based on what’s available.
Most Internet users prefer the static IP because this allows you to use
software such as Internet Phone or CUSEEME more easily, which needs to know
an IP address in order to connect to another user. If your IP is
automatically assigned based on what’s available then someone trying to
“call” you with an Internet Phone program will not be able to connect
unless you somehow identify what your current IP address is and transmit
that information to them somehow, so they could then point to the current
and correct address.
Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or
E-mail to [email protected]
Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer Technologies, on
South Pattaya Road (900 metres from Sukhumvit Road). Providing total
computer, IT solutions, website and advanced graphics design to corporate
clients and home users on the Eastern Seaboard. Please see our advertisement
or call 038 374 147 or 411 063 www.act.co.th
Successfully Yours: Bjarne
Nielsen
by Mirin MacCartthy
Bjarne Nielsen of Cafe Kronborg is, like most
Danes, larger than life with a beaming smile to match. Born and bred in
Copenhagen he went to sea himself at age of fifteen like his father before
him. He landed here when he was 18 and stayed. “I came here with the
Danish Marine Union, I joined a Union school in Japan and they had a
two-week course in Pattaya. That’s how I ended up here. I was travelling
around with just a suitcase and would meet other seamen. We would share a
bungalow and would take jobs back at sea. They were the fun times.”
In 1980 Bjarne, with two seamen friends, opened a bar
called Nyhaven, which means ‘Port’ in Danish. They decided that they
spent so much time, when they were not at sea, sitting around drinking
they should spend the money in their own place.
He would not advise other expats to do the same now,
however. “I was very lucky, I had a lot of friends who supported me all
the way through. It was different then and it was very hard at times. I am
not sure I would do it all again.”
They ran this for ten years and it was a welcoming
gathering place for friends. The partners then sub-leased the Sugar Inn
for three years. In 1992 they bought two bungalows beside his wife’s
house and built the Cafe Kronborg . It has a mellow old world Danish
atmosphere where friends automatically gravitate.
Eighteen years ago he met his Thai wife working in
fellow Dane, Jurgen Lundbaek’s Mermaid Restaurant in Bangkok. He soon
persuaded her to transfer to Pattaya. “We have been together ever since.
She was the first live-in girlfriend I ever had. I decided I should marry
her when she gave me my first son.”
Bjarne is very active in the community and has been the
Registrar of the Pattaya Sports Club for sixteen years. “I don’t play
much golf, but I rent out golf clubs and I like helping out in charity
events. In November every year we have a tournament for my birthday and I
make the food. I like helping and cooking to support charity events. I’m
well known for my 40 kg barbecued ox leg and pig on the spit.”
This year, one hundred and twenty golfers teed off at
the Natural Park Resort Golf Club, who sponsored the event. Bjarne
requested that his Birthday Scramble this time be a charity tournament
honoring his Majesty the King’s 6th cycle, 72nd Birthday. 54,000 Baht
was raised for the PSC charity project, the new street kid’s facility.
If you are looking for Bjarne, he can usually be found
in the Cafe Kronborg kitchen. “I like to cook Thai and
Scandinavian; I’m always well supplied with ingredients by my friends
who come over.”
When not working he plays darts or goes fishing with
his son or joins his wife in bowling tournaments.
Success to Bjarne is: “When things run smooth and you
are happy with what you are doing. In this business you meet a lot of
people. It is so easy for Europeans to travel nowadays, so old school
friends appear. Yesterday a friend walked in I hadn’t seen for twenty
years.”
People are attracted to Bjarne because of his happy
gregarious nature and he himself puts a lot of emphasis on family and
friends. “When we were flooded out in ’84 for two months, friends came
by in boats every single day with food and money so I could buy milk for
my children. We had wet feet for two months, and there is nothing like
soggy feet. I am very lucky with my friends and family. I could not do
without them.”
Bjarne subscribes his happiness to drinking, “I’m
happy because I’m always drinking. I have never been known to refuse a
drink in my life.” This was perhaps somewhat tongue in cheek as he was
seen to have the same unfinished glass in his hand for an hour.
Bjarne has discovered that for him, the secret to a happy life is to be
surrounded by congenial people. The convivial Bjarne will be happy for a
long time yet!
Life Force
by Tracy Murdoch,
International Nutritional Consultant
Loy Krathong has just passed. Traditionally, the
festival marks the end of the rainy season and the main rice harvest. The
traditional meaning of Loy Krathong is the act of setting offerings afloat
to pay homage to the Goddess of Waters.
Water has long served as a lifeline for the people of
Thailand and Thais have the opportunity to honour the life-giving powers
of water. The meaning of the festival has evolved over time with a variety
of meanings, many mystical or superstitious. Some see it as an opportunity
to wash away their sins.
As many of you celebrated the passing of Loy Krathong, why not consider
the benefits water has for you? Remember, 70% of you is water! Many, many
of us walk around a little dehydrated because we don’t drink enough.
Water makes your digestive system run smoothly, flushing your body of
toxins. It bathes all your tissues and cells. It helps make your hair
gleam and your eyes sparkle. You need about two and a half litres per day
(more if it’s very hot and you sweat). Remember, you can get water in
vegetables and fruits too. Of course, they give you lots of other
goodies... (more sparkle!) Think of the beauty of Loy Krathong, think of
beautiful you!
Snap Shots: Second
hand - is it worth it?
by Harry Flashman
A good camera is an expensive investment. However, like
many expensive purchases you can save a bundle if you look at second hand,
rather than brand new. But is it worth it with photographic gear? Harry says
yes!
In his career as a professional photographer, Harry has in
his time bought many expensive cameras: Hasselblads, Nikons, Canons and
Cambo’s. The ‘Blads alone were worth several thousands of dollars, but all
of them were second hand!
 In fact, after the disastrous robbery a couple of months
back, Harry has replaced his Nikons with more second hand ones. With no
worries either! So here’s what to do if you decide you want to upgrade or
replace.
Like buying anything, the biggest problem is not
ascertaining the condition, it is just making sure that you do not need
asbestos gloves to handle the merchandise. In other words, make sure it
isn’t “hot”. (In particular, one of Harry’s stolen cameras!)
If you are buying from a recognised camera shop then you
are probably OK, but from Shady Sam’s it is caveat emptor - let the buyer
beware. If you are buying from a private owner, then look for some proof of
ownership - a receipt from their initial purchase, or at worst, some insurance
documentation. Most robbers don’t bother insuring the loot!
Now let’s go through what you have to do to make sure you
have bought a good one - and we’ll deal with the camera body first. Just
like looking at a second hand car, how many bumps and scrapes are there on the
case? Turn it over and look at the top, front, back, sides and bottom. Look
particularly for small dents in the case. With good cameras you have to use a
lot of force to actually dent the casing, so it probably means the camera has
been dropped. You do not want a dropped camera - they are more trouble than
they are worth, no matter how cheaply it is being offered.
Note “wear” marks on the edges. Nice smooth wear areas
generally means the camera spent most of its life in a camera case. In other
words, it has had half a chance of being looked after properly.
Now open up the camera back and look inside. Wear marks on
the pressure plate on the cover means that it has had lots of film put through
it. This is not such a bad thing, but remember that everything will wear out
eventually. Look particularly at the shutter. Titanium shutters as used in
Nikons are very fragile and should be completely flat. Look for corrosion
around the light seal edges of the camera back and the grooves it fits into on
the body. This may be a sign of water damage.
Look into the body at the front and make sure the mirror is
clean and works properly when the shutter is depressed.
Next look at the lens, dismounted from the camera. Check
the bayonet or screw fitting and hold the lens up to the light. Look for
“spider web” traces on the glass elements which may mean fungus. This does
not mean the lens is ruined - it just means it will need a service soon. Now
look through the lens while closing the aperture down and make sure it closes
OK.
You have only one more check to do. Run a roll of film through and check
all the shutter speeds, apertures and functions. With a private seller, Harry
always asks to run a check film through before money actually changes hands.
With a camera shop, you will have to rely on their guarantee - usually one
month. Discuss this with the shop first! Lots of luck - you’ll save 50% of
new price!
Modern Medicine: “Fat”
ankles
by Dr Iain Corness
Swelling ankles are interesting diagnostic signs. They
can be the indicators of cardiac decompensation (congestive cardiac
failure), filariasis, kidney disease, liver problems, varicose veins or
other circulatory problems. All of you who get swelling ankles are now
nervously sitting on the edge of your seats, wondering if you are going to
call in the insurance agent today, or can it wait till tomorrow. And guess
what, most of you are female!
No, I am not a fortune teller, it is just that the most
usual cause of swelling ankles, especially in the hot summer, is Varicose
Veins. Women outrank men in the VV’s stakes, so you have the simple
scenario.
What happens is that when the veins get these
varicosities, the muscle “pump” that sends the blood back to the heart
does not work efficiently so the blood begins to dam up in the feet and
ankles. By the end of the day, your feet are puffed out over the top of
your shoes and your ankles are ready to explode. Fortunately, after lying
down overnight, your ankles are back to normal - to begin swelling again
as soon as you spend any time standing up in the heat!
You can also thank your Mum for your varicosities - the
tendency is hereditary. So what can you do about them? Well you can have
sclerosing therapy for the big surface veins, laser therapy for the small
“starburst” ones and removal of the large tortuous veins by
conventional surgery. If none of those fill you with excitement, then a
good stout pair of supporting pantyhose and putting your feet up as much
as possible will keep you going for quite a while.
Now, all of you with only one foot and ankle that
swells can also breath easy as far as your cardiac condition is concerned.
If the central pump isn’t going properly then both ankles swell - not
just one. When you don’t have a matched pair, then the cause is in the
one affected leg.
The nasty type of ankle swelling is the one that does
not go down with rest and elevation of the feet. When you have this type
of problem, then it really is time to trot of to the doctors for a
check-up. Most cases do have a simple cause, but you will not know till
you check and see.
I know I do tend to harp on about check-ups, but after the age of 40
you should be looking at a routine annual check. Fixing small deviations
from normal is relatively easy. Waiting till they become major problems is
silly. Fix them early and enjoy life to the maximum is my motto. Make it
yours too!
 Dear
Hillary,
I bought some “copy” shirts the other day and told
the girl in the shop that I needed XL size (I am a Farang). She got me
four shirts, but when I tried them on at home, three fitted and one was
too big. The labels all said XL, can I take the large one back and
complain?
Ralph Lauren
Dear Ralph,
“Copy” shirts have “copy” labels. That’s the
price you pay for getting a cheap shirt with a man on a horse on the
pocket. Never mind, stay here long enough and you’ll probably grow into
it. Every other Farang seems to self inflate as they get older.
Dear Hillary,
As I am now in my early 50s it is becoming noticeable
that my tummy is getting that little bit larger. My wife even says it is
very noticeable. I have tried dieting but that just makes me hungry. Is it
worthwhile going to one of the gymnasiums round town, or do I have to give
up drinking as my wife suggests? I only have six to eight pints at night
which I do not consider excessive as I used to drink even more than that.
Kenny
Dear Kenny,
Or is that “Kilkenny”? Looking carefully at your
letter, since I can’t look carefully at you (and perhaps don’t want
to!), I do think I might perceive a very slight chance that you are just
the teensiest bit worried that someone might suggest cutting off the
pipeline to the brewery. Hillary would never do that to you, Kenny, my old
drinking mate! You must remember me. I’m the two people at the other end
of the bar every night! Come on, Kenny! 8 pints! OK, Kenny, I’ll believe
you really want to do something and here’s the answer. Cut the pints in
half, join a gym (the Fitness Centres are better at fat burning than the
musclemen types of places), cut your food intake by 25%, cut out sugar,
drink more water (without the hops) and walk everywhere in town rather
than driving, riding or catching Baht Busses. If all this is too
difficult, contact Ralph from the letter above and make an offer on the
shirt!
Dear Hillary,
I am first time visitor to Pattaya and cannot help on
remarking on the platform shoes that are here so popular. In my country,
Denmark, the women have not used these type of feetware for many years now
already. Why are you so in behind with shoes fashion?
Gunnar
Dear Gunnar,
Are you blind? Danish women are 6 foot 6 inches tall -
they don’t need elevator shoes. Thai girls are 5 foot tall, they need
platform soles to be able to look into your eyes and whisper sweet
nothings in your ear. If you whisper sweet nothings doing back, then
they’ll totter off on their stilts and find someone else more their own
size!
Dear Hillary,
The other night I was friendly towards a girl in a bar
(domestic staff, not a bar worker) and the next day a letter was delivered
to my work written by her sister telling me that the girl had no boyfriend
but had two sons and she wanted to see me because she thought I was a very
nice man. The next minute she appeared on a motorcycle taxi and I was
totally unprepared for this. I just wanted her out of my workplace as soon
as possible, so I thanked her and said I was busy, gave her 40 Baht for
the taxi and told her to go. My friends say she just wants money. What do
you think, Hillary?
Frank
Dear Frank,
There are a couple of ways of looking at this. Sure, she may have
decided that you are an “easy touch” and will bug you to death until
you either weaken and give her money or get angry and tell her to go. On
the other hand, you are talking about a single parent with two children
and you were not only nice to her, but represent huge wealth, compared to
her circumstances. Why not pursue the mighty dollar? You would have to
give her 10 out of 10 for effort. You will never know which of these
alternatives is correct (some of the great mysteries of life in Thailand)
and if you do nothing she will undoubtedly disappear. It is up to you.
GRAPEVINE
Disillusioned
with Jomtien
Mr and Mrs Tom Bradford from Leeds are very
upset with their new retirement dream house in Jomtien. Soon after
moving in, the couple discovered hundreds of discarded wings and were
told by the builder that there were termites in the wooden staircase
which had to be ripped out and replaced by a new one. “The workmen
who arrived left a temporary rope ladder dangling where the staircase
had been,” explained Tom, “so it was impossible for Freda or I to
reach the bedroom or the bathroom which was very awkward for a couple
of pensioners.” He added the problem now was that they were still
waiting for the workmen to return after seventeen weeks.
New UBC centers
There are now several agencies in Pattaya
which can install UBC satellite TV without your needing to go to the
regional center at Ban Saen near Chonburi. The most recent to open is
the telecommunications and mobile phone outlet on South Pattaya Road,
diagonally opposite the new Friendship Supermarket. There is a DTH
satellite dish prominently displayed outside the shop. Remember if
your household has two TV sets and wants to watch more than one
station at the same time, you must pay a premium for a special device
to be fitted to the decoder box. It seems to be cheaper to have this
done at the time of installment.
Veggie cravings
Whilst in South Pattaya Road, vegetarians
should look out for the Thai open air restaurant immediately opposite
Center Condo. It doesn’t have an English name, but has two
vegetarian signs clearly displayed behind glass at street level. The
Grapevine Eating Out Collective (GEOC) enjoyed nam phrik khee kaa, an
eggplant chili sauce served with vegetables and hed nam tok, a
hot and sour salad with mushrooms replacing grilled beef.
Incidentally, don’t forget there are two terms for vegetarian in
Thai. Khao phat mansawarit would be vegetarian fried rice, but
with dairy products such as egg. But the stricter expression, meaning
no dairy products, is kin jeh which means more or less the same
as vegan.
Millennium bug
A help line service center to answer
mystified Pattayans’ questions on the Y2K bug has had to be
canceled. Enterprising farang Ferdinand de Sicco envisaged that
farangs and locals would literally pour into his technologically
advanced premises in a well known shopping center to check, for a
modest fee, whether their PCs and fax machines would explode on New
Year’s Day. Or whether they should stockpile cash in case the world
banking system goes down like the Titanic. Ferdinand’s problem was
the large stock of second hand computers which he bought to service
his New Century Technology Advice Center. Unfortunately, the machines
he bought are not year 2000 compliant. |
What a gay
day
Pattaya’s umpteen gay bars are warning
their customers not to buy The Gaydar, a small electronic gadget which
transmits a signal to other users and vibrates in the wearer’s
pocket. A middle aged Polish tourist, who is apparently known locally
as Warsaw Winnie, complained he found himself being pursued by an
amorous badger and getting divebombed by squirrels. His unemployed
boyfriend Lek, who says he is saving up to buy a wheelchair for his
elderly grandmother, explained that the solution was probably to
change the access operational mid arm point from an electronic to a
sonic transmission which would not upset the wildlife. Probably right.
Legal eagle
Reader PL asks whether house contents
insurance obtained in Thailand is worth the paper it’s written on.
Most decidedly. But the usual type covers you for fire and flood.
Contents stolen in a robbery must normally have been listed in advance
and include the serial number of computers, video machines, etc. You
can check out your personal position by contacting one of the
insurance agents advertising regularly in Pattaya Mail.
A fair cop
A group of three would be bank robbers were
foiled in Rayong this week. They decided not to use the front
entrance, which they felt was a bit obvious, but ingeniously entered
round the back to try and take the staff by surprise. But in their
excessive haste, they became stuck in the revolving doors which then
jammed after one of the villains’ flip flop shoes became wedged in
the machinery. Arriving officers were unable to get the doors moving
again and called in an expert locksmith who said he was confused as he
could not find a keyhole. Finally, a bank assistant hit on the bright
idea of smashing the glass with an iron bar. In the ensuing confusion,
one of the trio managed to escape. However, he was quickly recaptured
on the hop as he was wearing only one shoe.
Yes landlord
Handwritten sign seen in a Beach Road bar.
“Bob has canceled his party as he is on a visa run. Please leave
presents with Joy (the one wearing glasses).” |
Dining Out: Delaney’s
- for breakfast?
by Miss Terry Diner
In a city where we tend to use the night hours for
relaxation(?) till late, breakfast tends to become a forgotten meal. However,
nutritionists will tell you that it is probably the most important meal of the
day.
In company with my mother, we decided to eat out for
breakfast the other day, and what a saga it turned out to be. The first
restaurant that advertised being open at 9, was still closed at 9.30. The next
restaurant invited us to sit down, but unfortunately no food - the cook was at
the market and they didn’t know when he would come back!
It was then I decided to go to Delaney’s Irish Pub on 2nd
Road for breakfast. Now I must admit that I am much more used to the rollicking
atmosphere of Delaney’s in the evenings and it was such a change to walk into
the cool, quiet atmosphere that this pub has in the mornings. The hush was only
broken by the welcoming greetings and smiles of the friendly staff who escorted
us to a quiet corner of the room.
Mother, who eats like a bird, wanted only tea and toast and
this was exactly what was delivered in no time at all. A large pot of Lipton’s
and toast with butter, jam and marmalade. And a little jug of milk. Mother
beamed!
For myself, it was the Irish Breakfast, 95 Baht all up. This
was ordered with the eggs fried, you have a choice of how you want the eggs
done, and coffee. Next surprise was the coffee. This came with hot frothy creamy
milk and really made the coffee memorable. It was so good I backed up for
another!
The breakfast was large. In fact, very large, with two eggs
surrounded by home fries, fried skinless tomatoes, two rashers of bacon and two
sausages. With all the condiments and sauces on the table (again good Brit stuff
like Lea and Perrins for example) it was indeed a very hearty and tasty brekky!
The bill was also correct, one Irish breakfast and Mother was
only charged a very small amount for her tea and toast. Last week in Bangkok we
had quite the reverse situation, where a restaurant tried to charge us full
price for mother’s little morsel.
So for all you folk who would like to find a place that does indeed open on
time, does have a cook and does make good food (and even more excellent coffee)
the Dining Out Team can certainly recommend Delaney’s. Mother also said the
pot of tea was just right, thank you girls. And I must not forget one very
important item - the loos at Delaney’s are just lovely. Only thing that was
missing was Kim Fletcher’s raucous laugh and him attempting (generally very
successfully) to throw several beers down my unwilling throat. Sometimes it is
nice to just quietly sneak in to do these Dining Out sessions! It certainly
keeps the restaurateurs on their toes. Miss Terry can strike at any time.
Don’t worry Kim, Delaney’s passed with flying colours.
Animal Crackers: Stray
Karma
by Mirin MacCarthy
In Thailand where reincarnation and karma is such an
integral part of the society, mangy semi-starving stray animals are not
seen as a problem by most of the population. It seems as if only the
farangs are revolted and concerned.
 Recently I took relatives to the Golden Buddha on the
top of Pratamnuk Hill. They were horrified by the tens of thin cats and
the even thinner pitifully hungry dogs. There was one exhausted bitch with
fur missing in patches lying in the dirt with three tiny, probably just
four week old puppies suckling. Their coats were just as mangy as their
mother’s. There was another bitch walking around nosing for anything at
all edible, she had dry teats and a starving puppy with prominent ribs
trotting at her heels desperately sniffing for the milk that wasn’t
there. There were other lame and torn cats and dogs, the dogs more visible
because of their size.
The question is what can be done? What should be done?
Should foreigners simply mind their own business and
pretend not to see and try not to be upset at this animal suffering? Can
farangs try to adopt a more Buddhist attitude, “All of life is
suffering,” then try to turn a blind eye? Or should the Thais be
concerned that it does actually put tourists off. I have heard it said,
“If that is the way they treat their animals, then I don’t think much
of their values.”
Some locals want to attempt to fix the problem by
returning to the Wat with dry dog and cat food. But what real help would
this be, as all the animals would be hungry again the day after?
Buddhist tenets are to refrain from killing any living
thing. This involves a certain amount of pragmatism in everyday life as
not all Buddhists are vegetarians. They simply employ Moslem abattoir
workers.
One possible solution to the starving strays is to
employ Moslem dog catchers and humanely destroy all the injured and dying
animals. Another possible solution would be to attempt to raise community
awareness and develop either government or charity sponsored animal
refuges, such as the Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (R.S.P.C.A.).
In a refuge, local vets might be encouraged to volunteer their services to
sterilize some animals.
Do we as a Thai and foreign society living here together, try to
address this problem? Should we pretend to ignore it? What are reasonable
solutions? Please send in your suggestions and opinions. I would like to
hear from all of the community.
Auto Mania:
Thailand Grand Touring Cars
by Dr. Iain Corness
This weekend the Thailand Grand Touring series comes to
the Bira International Race Circuit for the final round this year (or this
millennium for that matter!) These are highly modified and lightweight
versions of GT cars with loads of carbon fibre bodywork and alloy
interiors. In the US they would come under an IMSA type “silhouette”
formula, while in Oz they are called Sports Sedans. The engine placement
in the local formula has to remain as per manufacturer and you should see
the usual swag of twin turbo RX7’s, a Supra or two as well as
Integra’s and the like. They are potentially very quick motor cars.
The supporting events will feature the N+ series, the
1600cc Touring Cars, so there will close racing there as well.
Qualifying and practice is on Saturday, while the
Racing is on Sunday. Go out around noon and watch from the esses at the
back of the circuit for the most action. You can cross the circuit at the
over-bridge on the straight.
 The rocket ship I left in Oz was one of these kind of
things. A space frame with alloy and fibreglass panels, a Cosworth engine
mounted amidships beside the driver and a Hewland transaxle in the rear.
The whole shooting match weighed only 600kg and went like the proverbial
brown stuff off a shovel. I miss it, even though it was the twitchiest
beast I ever drove in 32 years of competition.
Autotrivia Quiz
Last week we looked at pit signalling boards and the
originator (and the correct answer) was that great Team Manager Alfred
Neubauer who devised the system of being able to communicate with his
drivers after Caracciola spent one race driving the wheels off his Mercedes
thinking he was behind the rest, when in actual fact he was miles in front.
More trivia, that was Caracciola’s first race, too.
So to things motoring and trivial for this week, and
let’s look at those intrepid people who were into record breaking. A fair
swag of them also went into neck breaking. Guys like Frank Lockhart, for
example, who got thrown out of his Stutz Black Hawk at 203 MPH. Not the
speed to try jumping out at. Parry Thomas with “Babs” did not manage to
complete his run either in the previous year, getting decapitated for his
troubles.
However, there were those who went for endurance records
and the principle here was to keep the car going for as long as possible,
without coming into the pits for tyres or refuelling. The aforementioned
Parry Thomas hired fire engines to wet the straight at the Brooklands
circuit to attempt to cool his tyres, but that didn’t work as he found he
got too much loss of traction, as well as slipping along the banking.
To go for really long distance records, the manufacturers
devised all sorts of ways to keep their vehicles running. I firmly remember
the Morris Minors that ran around Goodwood, with a mobile service truck they
ran up on for servicing and refuelling. In this way, the little Morry Minors
ran for some thing like 100,000 miles “non-stop”.
So on to this week’s quiz question. An intrepid couple,
the Hon. Mrs Victor Bruce and her husband went for one of these types of
records and to stop having to come in for fuel they towed a trailer carrying
a petrol bowser so they could refuel on the run. (This is true, I’m not
making this up!) So be the first correct answer this week to fax 427 596 or
email [email protected] with the name of the car they used! Tip, it
was a flat twin.
Rara Avis
Thailand has some amazing (it’s that word again!) rare
motor vehicles lurking in sheds all over the country. Up in Chiang Mai I
found some corkers. Try these on for size - a 1924 Hanomag, a 1933 Tatra
(the alloy V8 engined one), a Fiat 500 Topolino (AKA Topple over), an MG VA
roadster and a three wheeler Morgan circa 1920 something.
Even around Pattaya there are some strange cars, like
that poor old rusting Edsel with a Nissan diesel under the bonnet. How to
make a bad car even worse!
What I would like to do is to try and list some of the
odd ball cars and other rarities in this country. All of us do the same as
me I am sure, looking out of train and bus windows into back yards hoping to
see some collectors item that can be snapped up for a song.
So let’s hear from you with what you’ve seen round
the traps. Include the V8 monsters left after the Vietnam bun fight and
I’ll keep the register here at Pattaya Mail. Fax or email as per the
Autotrivia Quiz. It could be interesting.
Are things really looking up?
The statistics on vehicle sales for the first nine months
of this year are out, courtesy of Visteon Auto Systems. The other English
language newspaper that has a motoring section happily interpreted the
figures and gave the story a bold headline, “Sales up 43% in key Asean
markets.” Talk about lies, damned lies and statistics! The truth of the
matter was that Malaysia almost doubled its sales with a 97% increase over
the previous year’s tally, Thailand went up 41.5% while Indonesia was
almost static with a 1.8% increase and the Philippines fell by 11.8%.
A more correct analysis would show that only in half of
the “key Asean markets” (their description) was there any positive
movement, and Malaysia is going gangbusters, while we are doing OK. Forget
the rest.
Trying to be clairvoyant, as well as statistically
analytical, it would appear that Thailand really has come out of the hole
and we should expect good solid progress from now on in. Malaysia (with its
Proton) is doing well, while Indonesia with its troubled political system is
in trouble and most probably will continue in the doldrums. As far as the
Philippines is concerned - forget them for at least another three years.
So, in answer to my own hypothetical question, are things really looking
up? Yes, for us, but for Asean? Not yet!
Fitness Tips:
Dusit Medics
by David Garred,
Club Manager Dusit Resort Sports Club
Congratulations to Bridget, Chris and Peter for
recently completing their First Aid and CPR course with the Dusit Sports
Club!
Hang on a minute - First Aid and CPR with a Sports Club
... with a fitness centre?
Correct. The Dusit Sports Club believes not only in a
person’s healthy body and mind - but also in one’s ability to be able
to render help whenever possible, and actively promotes this line of
thinking.
The Medic First Aid Course, offered to members &
non-members alike, is a fully comprehensive First Aid & CPR course -
recognised worldwide, covering a broad range of topics. Although taught
through PADI (Professional Association of Diving Instructors), it is not
diver orientated and is designed to be taught to anyone.
This course runs for about 8 hours and consists of
video, lecture, and actual hands on practical work, showing you how to
respond if someone needs help. You’ll learn about CPR (cardiopulmonary
resuscitation), basic first aid and other emergency response procedures -
many used by emergency care professionals - but at a layman’s level.
Although we have been conducting it over two afternoons
for customer convenience - the course can be scheduled in different ways.
It can easily be conducted in one day.
The first part of the course deals with “Primary
Assessment” - covering the first and most important areas a first
responder needs to focus on when entering upon an accident, illness or
injury. This consists of assessing the level of responsiveness, assuring
an open airway, checking for breathing and a pulse. It then goes on to
teach you how to ventilate a non-breathing, or partially breathing person.
Should you find the pulse absent - the worst case scenario - then you need
to be confident and able to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation. The
course teaches you one person CPR - both through sequencing &
technique practice on a person - and actual hands work on a resuscitation
mannequin.
The second half of the course deals with the steps to
follow after a successful “primary assessment” has been completed.
Once we are sure that our patient has an open airway, is breathing and has
a pulse - we are then in a position to proceed with some secondary care.
This covers a large range of subjects: including
illnesses such as heart problems - angina & heart attack, stroke,
allergic reaction, asthma, poisoning, diabetic emergency, and injuries
such as fractures and dislocations, head injuries, neck and back injuries,
wounds and bandaging, drowning, burns and electrical injuries.
You will also have the chance to work through the
knowledge you have gained with some illness and injury scenarios.
Chances are, you won’t ever need to use the range of
skills presented in this Medic First Aid course. However, should the need
arise to provide emergency medical attention, you’ll have the knowledge
to respond quickly - and with confidence!
For more details please contact David and / or Chris at Dusit Resort
Sports Club, Tel: (038) 425611 Ext. Fitness Centre E-mail: [email protected].
Copyright 1999 Pattaya Mail Publishing Co.Ltd.
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260, Thailand
Tel.66-38 411 240-1, 413 240-1, Fax:66-38 427 596; e-mail: [email protected]
Updated by Boonsiri Suansuk. |
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