Celebrate The Amazing River of Kings - Part 4

Introducing the Principal Roayal Barges

The Escort Barges

Escort Barges

In places of honor leading the Principal Royal Barges are pairs of ancient escort barges. These have a long history dating from the First Reign, undergoing periodic restorations until the present. They carry signaling drums and ceremonial music instruments. Apart from ceremonial duties, they also go to the immediate aid of the Royal Barges in case of difficulty.

The Krut Barges

The Krut or Garuda, steed of Vishnu, is the figurehead of this class of barge. The Krut Tret Trichak is 26.5 meters long and 1.8 meters at the beam. The Krut Hern Rahet is of the same length and 2 meters at the beam. Each carries 34 oarsmen, 2 steersmen, 1 officer, 1 standard bearer, 1 signalman and 2 station markers.

Krut Barges.

The garudas are depicted in full flight with protruding eyes and bared fangs. Their arms and legs spread out with feathers fluttering in the wind. They hold a naga in each hand and foot. The body of the garuda straddles the cannon port in the bow. The hulls of the barges are decorated with gilded lacquer using traditional floral motif.

The Krabi Barges

Four escort barges have monkey figures as their figureheads. They represent the simian warriors from the Ramakian, the Thai literary epic based on the Ramayana. These characters serve Rama, an incarnation of Vishnu, hence their appearance in the Royal Service of Kings.

The Pali Rang Thaveep and the Sukhreep Krong Muang have crowned figureheads. The former is 26.75 meters long, 2 meters at the beam, and the latter is 28 meters long, 1.55 meters at the beam. Each has a crew of 34 oarsmen, 2 steersmen, 1 officer, 1 standard bearer, 1 signalman and 2 station markers.

The Krabi Ran Ron Rap and the Krabi Prab Muang Marn have the figureheads of Hanuman and Nilaphat. Both of these barges are 27 meters long and 2 meters at the beam. The crew of each barge consists of 36 oarsmen, 2 steersmen, 1 officer, 1 standard bearer, 1 signalman and 2 station markers.

The figureheads are presented fully alert and at attention, their gilded robes flowing in the wind. The hulls are painted with gilded lacquer in a floral motif.

The Asura Barges

A pair of escort barges have Asura or ogre guardian figures as their figureheads. They represent half-bird, half-ogre mythical beings. The Asura Vayapak is 28 meters long and 2.1 meters at the beam. The Asura Paksi is a little longer at 29 meters. Each has a complement of 40 oarsmen, 2 steersmen, 1 officer, 1 standard bearer, 1 signalman and 2 station markers.

These figureheads stand out from the others because of their composite appearance. The top half is fierce and exudes strength, yet the birdlike bottom half appears quite delicate in design. They, too, straddle cannon ports and preside over floral hulls.

The Sua Barges

Last of the ancient royal barges are a pair of Sua or tiger barges. Their bows are painted with fierce looking tiger heads. The hulls are painted with tiger stripes. The Sua Kamron Sindh is 20.75 meters long, 1.5 meters at the beam. The Sua Thayan Chon is 20.5 meters long and 1.5 meters at the beam. Each carries a crew of 26 oarsmen, 2 steersmen, 1 officer and 1 signalman. These barges are different from the other escort barges in that they display their cannons prominently pointing out over the bows.

The Attendant Barges

Described above are the Royal Barges which form the main body of state processions. A number of smaller barges of less importance surround this main body acting as outer escorts and attendants. They are collectively known as rua dang and rua saeng. Generally they are plain long boats with slightly raised stem and stern pieces. The number of oarsmen in each barge varies between 20 to 30, but all barges have 2 steersmen and 1 commanding officer.

A few attendant barges perform special duties in the procession. One pair of rua dang are specially decorated by an overall covering of gold leaf. They are stationed in the van. One known as Taeng Mo carries the commander-in-chief of the state procession. Another called E-luang carries his second in command. Some which carry court constables and officials are known as rua tamruad or police barges. Lastly, a pair known as Thong Kwan Fa and Thong Ba Bin, identified by decorative golden stems and carrying high ranking government officials, close the procession.

The Crew

Deep-rooted traditions are preserved as much as practically possible in modern Royal Barge Processions. The crews are officers and men of the Royal Thai Navy, changing their roles from seamen of the technological era to warriors of old. Training to handle long boats, propelling them with brute strength, and doing so stylistically, in keeping with the ceremonial nature of the occasion, all demand a high level of organization, discipline and dedication. Most important is the fact that however spectacular the Royal Barge Procession may be, it is never organized purely as a spectacle.

Each and every procession is mounted for a specific purpose of conveying the King or a highly venerated Buddha statue. The participants therefore carry out full state duties and responsibilities.

Preserved are the colorful traditional costumes of the crews. Those of the Principal Royal Barges are armed with swords. Modern elements may be seen in some details such as the royal decorations and side arms of the officers, communication and public address equipment, and modern weaponry for security. Thus this aspect of the Thai traditional remains very much a part of our culture in the modern world.

The Royal Barge Procession - November 4, 1999

The Royal Barge Procession, the most auspicious and most spectacular of all events in Thailand, takes place on November 4 this year. The majestic procession marks a religious ceremony and sacred rituals performed by His Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej, and members of the Royal Family.

Rehearsals by the Royal Thai Navy will be held on several occasions in September and October this year. To offer spectators a unique opportunity to witness the splendor of the Royal Barges featured in the procession, tourists, travel agents, tour operators, and the general public will be able to purchase tickets to all rehearsals, which commenced in late June 1999. It is currently estimated that approximately 8,000 tickets will be made available. The designated vantage points along the Chao Phraya River are: 1. The river bank along Bangkok Noi Railway Station, 2. Around the Royal Thai Navy Base against the backdrop of Wat Arun, Temple of Dawn.

The Royal Thai Navy has scheduled regular rehearsals once a week, every Thursday through to September and 2 Dress Rehearsals in October - on October 7 and 21.

Willi, the “Mongoose” of Double-Sword Fencing

by Elfi

It was one of those moments that will be remembered forever. The place was Bozen. The event was the European Fencing Championship, held earlier this year. Wiradech “Willi” Kothny, a Thai with German nationality, was ranked 30th in the world in double-sword fencing. Similar to a beast of prey, he lunged at official world champion, Italian Luigi Tarantino, striking the final blow to win the European Championship.

The four champs are coming up swords - (from left) Ratana, Somkiat, Kanchat, and Willi.

Wiradech “Willi”, born in 1979 in Kanchanaburi, Thailand, was adopted at age 3 by well-known German TV journalist Erik Kothny. Erik visited the Pattaya Orphanage in 1981 during his travel around the world to many crisis-hit regions. Soon after the adoption of Wiradech, who Erik named Willi because his German grandmother couldn’t pronounce his real name, Erik also brought Willi’s cousin Somkhit Phonyoo to Germany and raised him as a foster son.

Starting at a very young age, both boys learned fencing. After joined the fencing association, the two won every title in their age groups. Willi, the greater talent of the two, had the luck to be discovered by one of Germany’s best trainers, Rome Olympics Bronze Medal winner Eberhard Mehl.

Eberhard saw Willi’s fast speed and elegant movements, and gave him the nickname “Mongoose”. It was Eberhard who shaped Willi into what he is today: 6 times German Junior Champion, 3 times International Thai Champion, 2 times Junior World Champion and now, finally, Senior European Champion.

Willi brings his family to Thailand every year. He recently spent a few weeks of well-deserved vacation in their house at Garden Villa, Naklua, giving Pattaya Mail the chance to talk to the youngest ever European Champion in Double Sword Fencing.

Asked how he feels after becoming European Champion in the senior class, Willi replied, “I don’t feel much different than before. Sure, I am proud that I have made it. Even though when I went to this competition in Italy, all I tried to do was just knock on the door of the big fencers. I really never expected the door to be opened the first time, least of all to win the title. Now I will try to keep up my intensity and improve my training for the up-coming Olympic Games in Australia.”

During his vacation in Pattaya, Willi has been doing a daily physical build-up at Universe Gym, as well as his normal fencing training with his cousin. His cousin, by the way, is also a former Thai Champion in Double Sword, the gold-medal winner of the 1997 SEA games and now a trainer himself.

Two members of the Thai national team - Rattana Porn, the first ever Woman Thai Champion in double-sword, and Kanchat Kongpraison, multiple champion in Foil - come to Pattaya every weekend to train with Willi.

The “Mongoose” successfully finished college and will be joining the civil service of the German Army in September, just as every other young man in Germany. The only difference is that he will get leave for his intensive fencing training.

We asked him what plans he has for the future. “First of all, right now I am only concentrating on the Olympic Games in Australia. After the Games, I will definitely go back to study at the University, but also keep up with my training and hopefully win a few more titles,” Willi replied.

With a ravishing smile he added, “Yet my absolute dream for the future is to open a fencing center in Pattaya with my cousin Somkhit and with the help of my father.”

Rather down-to-earth future-dreams of a very special and disciplined young man, who has kept his natural charm and modesty, even at his greatest moment of glory.

Pattaya drops it?

Editorial from Kittisak Khamthong

One hundred and twenty one Australian Travel writers came to Thailand for their Annual General Meeting. This was held in Bangkok, with the meeting sponsored, accommodation sponsored and air travel sponsored.

The individual journalists were being given the opportunity to see Thailand at minimal expense to themselves. They left feeling good about it and feeling good about their hosts. They have returned to Australia and will write reports about the areas they have visited. The Governor of the T.A.T. said, “A few years ago we had the Society of American Travel Writers in Thailand and that generated many millions of dollars of positive publicity. We are hoping to generate the same amount of publicity value from the Australians.”

Aren’t we lucky that Pattaya is the closest beach resort to Bangkok and so many of these 121 journalists could come here and assist our push for the recognition of the “new” image of Pattaya. Keep in mind that over 300,000 Aussies visited Thailand last year and we are all hoping that number will increase through the additional press.

So how many of the 121 made it down to Pattaya? Would you believe it if I said, “One!” That’s right, O-N-E. With a golden opportunity given to the city of Pattaya we ended up with one solitary journalist actually getting here. We ended up with less than one percent of the good press we could have had. Pattaya City - we ended up with egg on our faces!

After all the ballyhoo of the Pattaya Road Show, where civic interests, government interests and private enterprise all worked together to promote our fair city to Australia, we were just given the Australian Press on a plate and we dropped it. And who do I mean by “we”? I mean the T.A.T., the P.B.T.A., the T.H.A., the City Council and anyone who claims they want to promote Pattaya. We lost one of the finest opportunities we have been given in the past ten years.

Surely someone in these organizations could see the chance that was being offered. A chance that just needed someone to say, “Come on down. We’ll look after you.” Surely the T.A.T. knew the importance of all this? They even sent out a Press Release to say the Australian Travel Writers were holding their AGM in this country. So did our local T.A.T. do nothing? Did all the other recipients of the Press Release do nothing too? Pattaya - what went wrong?

Let us never make a blunder of this magnitude again. We should all be ashamed.

Welcome - Namaste!

by Elfi

Namaste is a Hindu word that means welcome; hello; good day. Namaste is also the name of a brand new Indian restaurant in the Champ Hotel on Pratumnak Hill in South Pattaya.

Owner Khun Sanga Yupensuk is of Thai nationality. His wife Ms. Elizabeth is of Indian race. Both live in Bangkok, running their tour and travel company called Karey Thailand Co. Ltd.

All the management give a big “Namaste” to all their customers.

With Sanga & Elizabeth tending to their busy schedule in Bangkok, they needed someone to take care of their business in Pattaya. They made a good choice indeed by appointing D.S. Sahni, a.k.a. “Bob”, as the manager of Namaste.

Bob, an eager young man, knows many people in Pattaya and hopes that his connections, along with the delicious Indian food from all parts of India and Thai dishes the new restaurant serves, will make the restaurant a big success.

He should succeed in this aim, as any customer who experiences the ambience of Namaste, tastes the food and enjoys the atmosphere, will definitely come back again. Still, the owners will be sending tour groups from South Africa, India and Europe through their tour company to help improve the business.

The restaurant’s pick-up service and home delivery should also be quite popular.

In case one doesn’t know where Namaste is located, or would like to eat at home, just give them a call at 710 601 (ask the operator of the hotel to call Mr. Bob) or direct, 01-312 26 05.

Namaste recently enjoyed its soft opening by giving lunch to fifty children of the Home for Street Kids. That same evening, many guests were invited to attend the ‘real’ opening, with a sumptuous buffet and many drinks. No wonder the party lasted for a long time and all went home in a fantastic mood, feeling good and with the promise to come back again soon.

Aerobic Master - Lubi Wittock

by Elfi

Anyone who joins a sports club knows that doing aerobics is usually hard, sweaty work. But it can also be a lot of fun - especially when someone famous like Aerobic Master Lubi Wittock shows up to perform.

Lubi was once again in the limelight of Pattaya’s aerobics scene, making a stop here during his tour of Thailand to promote aerobic dance as a fun & safe exercise. Only giving classes at the best health & fitness or sports clubs, he demonstrated revolutionary new and fun techniques, never seen in Thailand before.

Aerobic Master Lubi Wittock and David Garred of the Dusit Resort Sports Club are surrounded by the participants of Lubi’s aerobic work out.

There were so many people anxious to learn from the footsteps of the master that the Dusit Resort had to open up the huge Napalai Ballroom just to accommodate the crowd for the Low Impact Salsa class.

Lubi Wittock, born in Rome to an Italian mother and to a Belgian father, grew up in Marseilles, France. He is not only international by his birth but also by his looks - a mixture of Silvester Stallone and the young Jean Paul Belmondo. His stunning looks and charm, along with his great skills in Aerobic dancing, have made him a star. Already at age 20, he had earned all diplomas necessary for his sportive career.

Entering Aerobics competitions every year, Lubi has a palette of medals to show. Three time aerobic champion of France, twice 3rd at the European championship and twice 5th at the world championship, he was the very first Frenchman ever to go so far in the international aerobic scene, earning the honor of being the best European in these competitions.

Lubi “retired” from international competitions a few ago and has since hosted his own Aerobics show on French television. He is also the international coach of several Aerobic Champions. Besides all this, Lubi has created his own style and passes it on to students all around the world.

Lubi has already worked in and performed in Germany, Netherlands, Italy, England, USA and all over the Far East, including Thailand. His tour of Thailand this year will come to an end on August 29th, with a big ‘Charity for Aids’ event at the Olympic Health & Sports Club at the Pathumwan Princess Hotel in Bangkok. Anyone who wishes to join can contact Roland Buchwalder at ACR (Albar Car Rent) Co. Ltd., Pattaya, the organizer and main-sponsor of the Lubi Wittock Thailand-Tour 1999, Tel/Fax: 038-420252 or 01-6304958, E-mail: [email protected]

The cost to join this event is Baht 300, including an aerobic contest and refreshing drinks and food.

The Fair is Growing!

The fair is definitely growing! Just like last year when the Jesters Charity Night for the Fountain of Life had the Delaney’s Pub venue overflowing onto the street, this year’s charity function looks like building up into something even bigger.

Instead of just the one evening gathering, the organizers this year have decided to split the fund-raising into two distinct areas. Since the recipients of the charity are kids, they decided that holding a community fair on the 4th of September would allow both kids and adults to enjoy themselves. The other function would again be a riotous evening for the adults at Delaney’s, to be held one week later.

The fair venue is in the Royal Cliff Beach Resort grounds and there are special areas set aside for kids (toddlers will be supervised by Delaney’s Staff, by the way) and adults. There will be kids games and races, tug-o-wars with 16 teams entered already, treasure hunts, T-shirts and face painting. For the adults there are the hospitality areas to meet and greet old and new friends, including the Carlsberg sponsored beer tent.

Food is being supplied by many outlets, with M&M Pies, Big Boy Burgers, Sher ‘E’ Punjab curries, Sno Cones and even the flashing knives of the boys from Benihana Restaurant. Of course, all these places are donating their profits to the common cause - the Fountain of Life and other selected charities.

As the sponsorship comes in, the coffers are already starting to swell. To acknowledge the Platinum sponsorship (100,000 Baht) from Niel Poulsen’s Chonburi Siam Steel Works, it has been decided to call this year’s event the “Jesters - Chonburi Siam Steel Works Charity Fair”. This sponsorship is a wonderful gesture from Niel and certainly kicks off the appeal in a great way.

If you or your company would like to contribute and want further details, please contact the organizing committee members, Graham Macdonald (MBMG International - 306 245), Kim Fletcher (Delaney’s - 710 641) or Woody Underwood (Jesters - TQ Bar - 710 323).

A visit to the Kitty Hawk

The Pattaya Mail Team last week paid a visit to the Kitty Hawk - the only non-nuclear operated ship of 12 US aircraft carriers, and the oldest active ship of the US Naval Fleet. Kitty Hawk’s homeport has been Yokosuka, Japan since 1998.

Aircraft carriers are not only the heart of Naval Aviation but also the centerpiece of the national defense policy. Capable of sailing over 700 nautical miles a day, the self-sufficient carriers and embarked air-wings can perform a wide range of missions, from peaceful diplomacy to combat operations, all in support of national objectives. Time and time again, US aircraft carriers - unconstrained by host nation landing, staging the political encumbrances - have been first on the scene of crisis to protect national security interests and sustain world peace.

Looking from the bridge towards the bow of the USS Kitty Hawk-and we thought Pattaya had parking problems!

The aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk was commissioned at the Philadelphia Naval Shipyard on April 29, 1961 and is the first in a class of three super carriers. The Navigational Bridge is where Captain Matthew W. Tuohy issues the ship’s commands.

Assisting the Captain is the Officer of the Deck, who ensures the safe navigation and operation of the ship. The Navigator and the Quartermasters use several types of navigational aids, including satellites and the stars, to provide course recommendations.

A visit to the bridge of USS Kitty Hawk.

The Combat Direction Center of the Kitty Hawk is one of the most modern in the fleet with computer enhanced air detection systems. Four warfare modules compile specific data and relay it to the Tactical Action officer where it is displayed in real time on large computer screens. These are used to assist the Captain in defending the ship against attack and employ the air wing on offensive missions. 75 aircraft of Carrier Air Wing Five are on board, consisting of eight squadrons and one detachment. The Kitty Hawk uses its four steam-powered catapults to launch planes from its 1,065 foot-long flight deck at a rate of one plane every 30 seconds. The catapult, in conjunction with the plane’s own engines, allows the plane to accelerate from 0 to 180 miles per hour in just two seconds. Landing requires nerves of steel, but cables of steels as well. Four 1 1/2 inch in diameter arresting wires are used to ‘trap’ an incoming aircraft. These cables rest about three inches above the flight deck and when caught in the plane’s tail-hook, will bring the plane to a stop in less than 300 feet.

The F-15 fighters look fast even when they are standing still.

To keep the ship anchored, two 30-ton anchors are used, each supported by more than 1,000 feet of anchor chain. Each link of the chain weighs 360 pounds. It is actually the weight of the chain resting on the bottom that holds the ship in place at anchorage.

Since September 1998, the Kitty Hawk is now the oldest active ship in the United States Navy upon the decommissioning of USS Independence. She is also only the second aircraft carrier ever to hold the honor of flying the First Navy Jack. The display of this jack by the oldest ship in the fleet and with the longest period of active service, is an appropriate form of recognition and promotes pride of service, enhances morale, and contributes to the tradition of naval service.

Thank you again, US Navy!

by Elfi

When US Navy men take their well-deserved shore leave, their target is not only to have a good time and forget their duties for a few days, but for many it is also to do charity work in any harbor they visit.

This past week, some 160 crewmembers from 13 different command units of the visiting US Navy fleet put on their work clothes, grabbed some paintbrushes and headed into Pattaya. This time, the Banglamung Boys Home received a makeover from the joint efforts of the US Navy Comrel and the Rotary Club of Jomtien-Pattaya.

Peter Thorand (front row, right), Chairman of the Community Services of the Rotary Club Jomtien-Pattaya, made sure the helpful navy were able to take home something to remember this special day.

In just a few hours of hard work, all the guys and gals of the US Navy gave the schoolhouse at the Boys Home a complete new look. But the walls weren’t the only thing to receive new color, as the Navy also brought color into the lives of the boys with a BBQ and hundreds of pieces of sports equipment and sweet treats for all.

The Gospel Choir from the Kitty Hawk, a group worthy of their own album, provided inspirational music, while every single crew member took personal care of the many children, playing with them and showing them how to use the sports equipment. However, some of the ‘big brothers’ were a bit out of practice in the use of skateboards and, to the amusement of many, landed sometimes quite hard on their buttocks.

Peter Thorand, who is in charge of the Community Services of the Rotary Club Jomtien-Pattaya, handed out certificates of appreciation to all the commanding officers in charge, thanking them for their tireless effort to bring light - and color - into the lives of the less fortunate.

The participating groups, under the command of Chaplain Chin Van Dang, were: USS Kitty-Hawk, USS Curtis-Wilbur, Carrier Air Wing Five, Carrier Group Five, Helicopter Squadron-14, Strike Fighter Squadron-VFA-27 Royal Maces, Fighter Squadron-VF-154 Black Knight, Electronic Attack Squadron-VAQ-136, Strike Fighter Squadron-VFA-192 Golden Dragon, Strike fighter Squadron-VFA-192 Dam Buster, Carrier Airborne Early Warning Squadron-VAW-115 Liberty Bells, USS Kitty Hawk’s First Class Association and Chiefs Selectees.

Chanthaburi flood victims receive help from US Navy

by Ms. Raquel Elise Romero

Last week the Commander Carrier Battle Group Five, Rear Admiral Timothy J. Keating, presented one million Baht in construction materials and operation HANDCLASP supplies to the Royal Thai Marine Corps. The material and supplies are to be used to repair the homes of 33 families in 4 tambons in the flood-ravaged province of Chanthaburi.

Rear Admiral Chet Komolthiti, Royal Thai Marine Corps, received the donation of materials. Rear Admiral Chet is the Royal Thai Marine Corps, Vice Admiral Manit’s, on scene commander. He also serves as the Commander of Task Force Chanthaburi, responsible for the coordination of all disaster relief in the devastated province.

Admiral Keating expressed that his heart goes out to all the victims of the flood.

The relief support from the United States Pacific Command started from a phone call placed by concerned citizens of Pattaya. The President of the Rotary Club of Jomtien-Pattaya, Bancha Mungchana brought up the subject of assisting the victims of the severe flooding that struck the province of Chanthaburi early this month. The club’s secretary, George Tomlinson and Peter Thorand who is Chairman of the U.S. Navy relations immediately acted upon his request and called the offices of the Chief Joint United States Military Advisory Group Thailand, Colonel Lance (Skip) Booth and the Defense Attach้ office in Bangkok, Captain Douglas Undesser, which in turn got the information to United States Ambassador to Thailand Richard E. Hecklinger.

Ambassador Hecklinger, in short notice, contacted the State Department and the staff of the Commander United States Pacific Command, Admiral Dennis Blair, who then identified funds totaling US $25,000 and dispatched Rear Admiral Keating to meet with Thailand Civil Military authorities to render whatever support he could.

With the help of JUSMAGTHAI and Rotary Club of Jomtien-Pattaya members Peter Thorand and Peter Malhotra, the relief material was handed over to representatives of the flood stricken villages through the assistance of the Royal Thai Marine Corps. These also included supplies of foodstuffs and clothing that are regular and vital parts of the donations and assistance given by the US Navy COMRELs to the local community.

(L to R) Rear Admiral Jackaroo, Information Service RTN, Peter Thorand, Col. Booth Rear Admiral Keating, Rear Admiral Chet, Rear Admiral Nippon and Peter Malhotra.

Rear Admiral Chet’s marines will direct and assist in the construction and further distribution of relief material to the flood victims in the province.

It is amazing what one call to the right place can accomplish in times of need!

Present at the ceremony were: Rear Admiral Keating, CG5, Rear Admiral Chet, RTMC, Rear Admiral Nippon, RTMC, Rear Admiral Jakaroo, Information Service, RTN, Colonel Booth, Chief JUSMAGTHAI, Captain Undesser, Navy Defense Attach้, Captain Tawee Pingulton, Aide to Admiral Chet, Lt. Col. John Sullivan, Head Operations, JUSMAGTHAI, LCDR John A. Romero, Exercise, JUSMAGTHAI, Peter Malhotra, Rotary Club of Jomtien-Pattaya, Peter Thorand, Rotary Club of Jomtien-Pattaya.

Splat

by Ken Langbell

Now that the 1999 Songkran Festival is a moist memory, wet dream or whatever, it’s time for reflection. Why, for example, do so many non-Thais feel they have earned the right to participate, attacking innocent men, women and children with squirt guns, hoses and buckets full of non-potable water? I asked several.

A Brit said it was fun, like throwing chairs at a soccer match. A Frenchman said he didn’t speak English. An Italian said it was cheaper than throwing wine. A German said he was just following orders. An Austrian said he did it because the German did it.

An Aussie said it was the Wet Australian Policy. Didn’t he mean the “White Australian Policy”? No, he never hit white people except for the occasional Kiwi. A guy from Norway said he was bailing out his boat. A guy from South Central LA said he was bailing out his brother. A guy from Tennessee said he was baptizing sinners. A guy from San Francisco who seemed to be throwing water balloons said they were condoms. He was practicing safe Songkran.

A group of Japanese, filing onto their bus from a live sex show, said it was banned by their Constitution. A group of Serbs said they were cleansing the population. Like ethnic cleansing? They angrily assured me there was no such thing. The Yugoslavian War was masterminded by Toyota and Ford to eliminate the Yugo.

A man from Warsaw said he didn’t know. A man from Hungary ran into a hardware store, borrowed a bucket, filled it with water and ran out. A few minutes later he was back, borrowed another bucket, filled it and ran out. Again and again. What was he doing with all the water? Nothing. He was stealing buckets.

For you history buffs, the modern version of Songkran was invented in 1936 by a Chiang Mai fireman, Nak Dabplung. Until then the Thai New Year was celebrated like new years and independence days everywhere - with fireworks. This set many buildings on fire and created much work for firemen. It made Mr. Nak very angry. After putting out one house fire, he began throwing water on the spectators. As it was a hot day and the spectators were in a festive mood, they liked it and threw water back at Mr. Nak.

Songkran was pretty much restricted to the Chiang Mai until 1939 when Sir James Squirt invented the “Squirt gun”. History was very unkind to Sir James. He was knighted the same year as the ‘Beatles’ and was lost in the shuffle. Today “squirt gun” is even spelt with a small “s”. The water cannon, on the other hand, goes back to 15th Century Romania. Canon law described the use of bamboo tubes to apply holy water to vampires. With extinction of Romania’s bamboo groves and coincidentally its panda bears, the “water canon” fell out of use but became popular centuries later with the invention of plastic as the “water cannon”. If Dianne Cannon married John Philip Law, would she be the first Cannon law? If Tuesday Weld married the son of Frederick March Junior, would she be Tuesday March the Third?

Every year Chinese New Year and the U.S. 4th of July fireworks cost people eyes, ears, noses and throats. Why, then hasn’t Chiang Mai or Pattaya erected a statue honoring Mr. Nak? Because of what CNN would call “collateral damage”. Songkran not only disables people, it kills them. Every family in Chiang Mai and Pattaya has had at least one member run over by a motorcycle, car or baht bus swerving to avoid flying water.

I met a young guy from Brooklyn who was knocked over by a swerving motorcycle, which subsequently crashed. He kicked the driver. Remember, he was from Brooklyn. The police made him pay to repair the motorcycle. He should have been a better dodger. I know an old guy from Colorado who broke a bone in his foot dodging flying water. And I don’t get out much, even when water isn’t flying. I’m afraid to think about all the horror stories gregarious people can relate.

So what’s the answer? Elsewhere riots are suppressed by water trucks, but here the rioters have more water than the riotees. Worse yet, the attack on innocent people isn’t being carried out by perpetrators from a single nation. Like NATO’s attack on Yugoslavia, it has become a multi-national effort.

Meanwhile, I’m making plans for the next what my Jumbo English-Thai Dictionary naively calls “Songkran day”. I’ll stay home all week and eat delivered pizza, having stocked up on Coke, beer and toilet paper. The only thing that will get me outdoors is if the fruit truck lady drives by yelling over her PA system. I have a water barrel I’m filling just for her.

Taking on the big boys

from Imtiaz Muqbil, Executive Editor, Travel Impact Newswire

The PATA Bali Chapter recently won the PATA New Programme Development Award for its Bali Update email newsletter, which is distributed to more than 10,000 subscribers. The Award was picked up by Jack Daniels, Chapter Chairman, the originator and writer of Bali Update. In this acceptance speech, he narrated how the newsletter had helped take the stick to the global news networks.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Internet changes everything.

The Bible tells the story of how a small and relatively weak man by the name of David managed to bring down the Philistine Giant, Goliath, with only a small stone and a slingshot. Well, I am certain that if David were alive today, he’d store the slingshot and buy a computer. His e-mail address would probably be [email protected].

You see... The Internet changes everything.

Back in March of 1998, those of us in Bali’s tourism industry were faced with steadily declining arrival figures and a national tourism promotion board that was technically bankrupt. Business was suffering and was only likely to get worse. We had a story to tell the world that Bali was safe and better than ever, but had no money to spread that message. Members of the Bali tourism industry started to exchange opinions and ideas on what might be done. Concepts were floated across the Internet at an amazing rate of speed and the idea of creating a Bali Update - an e-magazine was born.

Overseas agents were hungry for clear, factual statements on what really was happening in Bali that that could be used to preserve business already in hand for Bali. Meanwhile, local agents were also desperate for a quotable authoritative source they could use in replying to worried tourists and their travel agents worried by international media reports and considering canceling their holidays in Bali.

The first edition of Bali Update went out on March 26, 1998, assuring that all was calm and safe in Bali. To our surprise that message was forwarded and copied by agents and wholesalers. Requests for similar news flowed in at the rate of a hundred every few days. And that is how the Bali Update was born.

Our circulation today - some 147 editions later, stands at over 10,000. Moreover, Bali Update has been cited and quoted by a number of impressive publications, including Time Magazine and the International Herald Tribune.

The Internet changes everything.

CNN hit new depths in slipshod journalism in 1998 by telling the world that smoke from forest fires were blanketing QUOTE all of Southeast Asia UNQUOTE. In fact, the smoke was largely limited to peninsular Malaysia, Singapore and the Western Regions of Indonesia. Via our Updates we acted like modern day David’s and took aim at Mr. Goliath’s — I mean Mr. Ted Turner’s news empire — asking them to exercise more accuracy in their reporting and made them aware of how broad brush statements that were completely untrue were costing jobs in Bali.

Our readers took up the cause and sent e-mails to Atlanta asking CNN to shape up and fulfill their stated role as an international media by, for a start, getting a better grasp of the subject of geography. We also secured support from Singapore Airlines and installed an Air Quality-measuring device in Bali and published the air quality ratings via the Bali Update.

The Internet does change everything.

Bali, because of its deep Bali-Hindu religious traditions, has remained very calm and relatively peaceful over the past 2 years of political unrest in Indonesia. We have been spared the riots and violence that have occurred in other parts of the country.

Unfortunately, the international news media loves a good story even if they must sacrifice truth to make their point. When Peter Jennings of ABC news opened a broadcast saying ‘’Ladies and Gentlemen - Indonesia tonight sits on the verge of chaos’’ we told the world, and told Peter, to hold on just a second, and to cut the hyperbole. Via our updates and hundreds of e-mails from our readers, we asked that he not confuse the awakening of new found democratic urgings with revolution.

When international media misquote Indonesia officials, run film clips of incidents and unrest that do not match a current story giving a non-contextual impression, or just plain get the facts wrong - we use our Bali Update to set the record straight and ask our readers to express their discontent with bad reporting directly with the media concerned.

As something of a self-appointed watchdog for truthful reporting on Bali and Indonesia - Bali Update knows how to bark.

Bow Wow... and watch your ankles in case we bite. The Internet changes everything.

When the U.S. Government placed a travel warning on Bali, those of us in Bali screamed ‘’foul’’ and ‘’unfair.’’ Bali was unlike the rest of Indonesia and the lack of violence and unrest affecting tourists qualified us for consideration as a ‘’separate case.’’ Via Bali Update we organized an international petition campaign to Bill Clinton and secured thousand of sympathetic signatures in less than 48 hours. Lo and behold, the travel warning on Bali was lifted a few days later and other embassies seemingly took note and began treating Bali as a separate case. Eventually countries began to change their approach.

They cautioned about travel to other parts of Indonesia but stated explicitly that Bali remained safe for tourists. In some instances, the consulates even recommended that their nationals subscribe to Bali Update to keep informed on local developments. Also, via our updates we did not forget to applaud those countries and used our ‘’separate case’’ status to remind others on the island of how important it was to maintain the peace.

The Internet changes everything.

The Bali Update remains essentially a one-man writing effort by a man who has a real full-time job. I am backed up by a very talented lady, Melina Caruso of Bali- Paradise on line, who administers the electronic aspects of our newsletter and handles our many subscribers. Hotels and tour companies across the island of Bali keep me informed of new products and special packages. I communicate with police officials and key government officials by e-mail and get instant updates during critical periods, such as during our elections in June. Thanks to the wonders of modern computing I have been able to write Bali Updates on board a ship in the South Pacific and, in fact, edition number 147 went out yesterday morning from my hotel room in Macau.

Yes, indeed. The Internet does change everything.

Copyright 1998 Pattaya Mail Publishing Co.Ltd.
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260, Thailand 
Tel.66-38 411 240-1, 413 240-1, Fax:66-38 427 596; e-mail: [email protected]
Updated by Chinnaporn Sangwanlek.