Dear Hillary,
I moved to Pattaya about four years ago with my husband after he got an offer to work for one of the big companies here. First, everything was nice, but about seven months ago he found a Thai girlfriend with whom he now lives with. Financially, I don’t have any problems because he still supports me, pays the house rent and all other necessary expenses. We are still legally married, but I wonder what will happen after my one-year visa expires in three months, which I have through him. I wonder if he will send me back home to get rid of all his responsibilities. I actually could survive without him for I’m still young enough to start working again, but I feel so lonesome. We were married for over 15 years and always together, and now I’m all by myself in a foreign country. You might say I should go back, but I still haven’t given up hope that he might change his mind and come back to me. I still don’t understand how he is able to throw away 15 valuable years of a good relationship for a cheap bar girl. Almost every night I cry myself to sleep. I’ve lost 18 pounds and I look like a ghost. He won’t talk to me, won’t listen, just delivers money and runs off again. What should I or can I do to get him back?
Abandoned Wife.
Dear Abandoned,
It’s time for you to get rid of your sorrow and start getting stubborn. For your own sake. You’ve lost too much weight already and keeping yourself in a state of loneliness is very unhealthy. Start to fight! Go see his boss and talk to him about your problems. I am sure the good reputation of all employees is of great importance for any big company.
It is irresponsible of your husband to abandon you and live with a Thai girl. I am very sure that as soon as the company gets a direct complaint from you, they will take steps to correct the problem. They might even send your husband back, which will give you the chance to keep him apart from his girlfriend. At least for a while. After you are back with him, you can try a new start. In case it doesn’t work out, you are much better off in your own country if a divorce should take place.
Take your life in your own hands now and have the courage to do so. Best luck.

Dear Hillary,
My four year old son continually pushes me to the limit of my temper and, lately, all too often I find myself hitting him. I really don’t want to, because I think it’s wrong, but what else can I do?
Angry Mother.
Dear Angry,
You are right to be worried about hitting your son. Hitting suggests your responses come from anger rather than taking time to consider your response. This is one of the hardest things to deal with when bringing up children. Perhaps you need to think more about discipline, or setting limits, rather than punishment.
Discipline is often viewed negatively, as linked with power or punishment, but it should be seen as something positive. It’s the process by which adults teach children what they can and can’t do, and how their behaviour affects other people and themselves, so that they gradually learn to fit in with the rest of the world.