Dear
Hillary,
I moved to Pattaya about four years ago with my husband after he got an offer to
work for one of the big companies here. First, everything was nice, but about
seven months ago he found a Thai girlfriend with whom he now lives with.
Financially, I don’t have any problems because he still supports me, pays the
house rent and all other necessary expenses. We are still legally married, but I
wonder what will happen after my one-year visa expires in three months, which I
have through him. I wonder if he will send me back home to get rid of all his
responsibilities. I actually could survive without him for I’m still young
enough to start working again, but I feel so lonesome. We were married for over
15 years and always together, and now I’m all by myself in a foreign country.
You might say I should go back, but I still haven’t given up hope that he might
change his mind and come back to me. I still don’t understand how he is able to
throw away 15 valuable years of a good relationship for a cheap bar girl. Almost
every night I cry myself to sleep. I’ve lost 18 pounds and I look like a ghost.
He won’t talk to me, won’t listen, just delivers money and runs off again. What
should I or can I do to get him back?
Abandoned Wife.
Dear Abandoned,
It’s time for you to get rid of your sorrow and start getting stubborn. For your
own sake. You’ve lost too much weight already and keeping yourself in a state of
loneliness is very unhealthy. Start to fight! Go see his boss and talk to him
about your problems. I am sure the good reputation of all employees is of great
importance for any big company.
It is irresponsible of your husband to abandon you and live with a Thai girl. I
am very sure that as soon as the company gets a direct complaint from you, they
will take steps to correct the problem. They might even send your husband back,
which will give you the chance to keep him apart from his girlfriend. At least
for a while. After you are back with him, you can try a new start. In case it
doesn’t work out, you are much better off in your own country if a divorce
should take place.
Take your life in your own hands now and have the courage to do so. Best luck.
Dear Hillary,
My four year old son continually pushes me to the limit of my temper and,
lately, all too often I find myself hitting him. I really don’t want to, because
I think it’s wrong, but what else can I do?
Angry Mother.
Dear Angry,
You are right to be worried about hitting your son. Hitting suggests your
responses come from anger rather than taking time to consider your response.
This is one of the hardest things to deal with when bringing up children.
Perhaps you need to think more about discipline, or setting limits, rather than
punishment.
Discipline is often viewed negatively, as linked with power or punishment, but
it should be seen as something positive. It’s the process by which adults teach
children what they can and can’t do, and how their behaviour affects other
people and themselves, so that they gradually learn to fit in with the rest of
the world.
