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Dear Hillary,
I kicked my Thai GF out of the house three months ago for playing around, but now with the holidays coming up I am lonely on my own. When I was at work, I was too busy to worry about it, but now isn’t the “time to be jolly” for me. Should I contact her again and get together maybe just for these New Year holidays? What do you reckon, Hillary?
Gerry

Dear Gerry,
You have to remember just why you gave your GF her marching orders. Will you be sticking your hand in the fire again? Is it worth risking your independence for a couple of weeks of companionship? I think you don’t need Hillary to tell you the answers. Take a long-term view, my Petal and don’t go back to tempt the past. If it is just company you need for the holidays, there is plenty to be had around town. Sure, you pay for it financially, but that is better than paying for it emotionally.

Dear Hillary,
My son wants a bicycle. He’s eight, so there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is that he stays in a shophouse with his mother, so there’s no place for him to ride it, other than on the road and it is on a very busy street. His mother says she’ll take him to the park each day, but I can’t see that lasting. I have already said I do not agree with this bike buying. Should I turn my back on this latest request and my son think of me as being mean, or just go with the flow?
Josh

Dear Josh,
Quite a predicament you have there, Petal. If the mother (who I suspect you are not living with) will take him to the park at least three times a week, I think that is the best answer. Tell her to stock up on plasters.

Dear Hillary,
What with all the doom and gloom internationally about the world going into a recession, rice prices through the roof, petrol becoming a luxury, do you think this will produce an increase in costs in the red light areas in Thailand?
Bill

Dear Bill,
I am not sure what you mean, Bill. “Red light areas”? Do you mean under the traffic lights, but they also go orange and green and are ignored by all road users as being unimportant, so I presume that wasn’t what you meant. If you mean the bars, then you should be more specific, Petal. With rice, the staple food in Thailand doubling in price, one must expect that beer, the staple drink in the bar areas, will also be going up in price. I cannot think of any other costs in the bar areas, as prostitution is against the law, and therefore does not happen. Perhaps donations to one’s favorite Buffalo Rehabilitation Unit (BRU) may have to be increased, but this I am not sure of. I suggest discreet questions to the Mamasans might yield better results than asking me, after all, I don’t really follow the international stocks and share indices.

Dear Hillary,
My wife’s mother is coming down from the up-country village, to spend a few days with us. I have not seen her since we got married and I was wondering what I should call her? “Mum” sounds pretty silly to me, as I am older than she is. What do you suggest I should call her to be polite?
Son-in-law
Dear Son-in-law,
This is the easiest one I’ve had all year, Petal. You ask your wife! Like all Thai wives, she will know what to call her mother. Relax.

Dear Hillary,
You may find this a strange request, but I am an American interested in Buddhism and wondered if it would be possible that on my next holiday here I could join a monastery. I would only have two weeks but imagine that in that time I could at least get the basics of Buddhism. Is this possible? I don’t mind where in Thailand that I would go as I am interested in the study, not the geography or tourism side. I have always been impressed watching the orange robes going along the streets with their begging bowls in the mornings.
Warren

Dear Warren,
There is no such thing as “strange requests” in Hillary’s letter box! If you want to understand the basics of Buddhism, you have to start long before you get on the plane to come to Thailand. To begin with, have you looked to see if there is a Buddhist temple in your region in the US? Discussions with the monks there will assist you in your quest. Monks in America can generally all speak English, while in the temples here, they naturally speak Thai.
I would recommend that you get the following books before going much further, “Buddhism Explained” (ISBN 974-7047-28-4) by Khantipalo Bhikkhu, “Phra Farang, An English Monk in Thailand”, by Phra Peter Pannapadipo (ISBN 974-202-019-1) and “The Good Life. A guide to Buddhism for the Westerner” by Gerald Roscoe (ISBN 974-8206-56-4). Read these before ordering the saffron robes, Petal