Dear Hillary,
Disastrous first and last date with Go-Go dancer No.28. I had met a 20 year old Go-Go dancer in a seedy Go-Go bar, I had known her for about a month going to the bar. In that time I had not taken her from the bar, but we had agreed to meet at Black Canyon Central Festival. Having not set a time as she was to call me in advance and arrange a time. Not expecting her to call, but during the afternoon I had just had a street meal (40 baht), she calls me, and tells me she is at Black Canyon now. I rush to Black Canyon and she is with her older cousin and her mother. I accept this, as I am retired. They tell me they would like ice cream so we go to a restaurant they order drinks and a meal plus ice cream (600 baht), she then tells me she wants to go to a dentist. The dentist tells me she needs several fillings and root canal treatment then a crown (estimated 15,000 baht) but for now the dentist would do cleaning (700 baht which I paid). At this point I anticipated the relatives would leave us, also its 7.30pm, and I was to go to my hotel get cleaned up, then we were to go to her bar and I would pay the bar fine for her (one night), I accepted her condition “No boomsing” (sex). I see the relatives are still with us, I insisted mother and cousin could not come to my hotel, so she abruptly dumps me!
Andrew

Dear Andrew,
As you know, you also sent me a long missive called “for background info only”, so I have not published that part. Now to your problems. Just what did you think was going to happen when a retired male (you) makes arrangements for an assignation at Black Canyon with a 20 year old go-go dancer from a “seedy bar”? What in common did you have, other than you having money and she wanting it. That’s why girls work in seedy go-go bars, my Petal. To get into your wallet, just as you wanted to get into her pants. Both of you were unsuccessful, it would seem.

Dear Hillary,
What is the attraction of the primitive villages in the north east that these Thai girls come from? At every opportunity they seem to go back there, for to see Mama, or another funeral, or a special event at the local wat. Funerals? There seems to be one every month. These villages must be dangerous places! My Thai GF won’t even take me to the village because she says there is no food for me to eat as theirs is too spicy and only cold showers and I like warm showers. What is the pull that makes them go back?
George

Dear George,
Have you ever heard of “family”? Family is very strong in Thai culture, and remember that in these small villages, everyone is a relative of some type. When your GF says that her sister is sick, this does not mean “sister” as you know it. It just means a female from the village. There will probably be some shreds of common DNA, but that’s all, but that still means that your Thai girlfriend should go back and help. You’ve heard that you marry the family - well, that’s what it means, Petal.

Dear Hillary,
Help me please. I’ve been here on holidays now for two weeks and I find the women here in Thailand are just the best eye candy I have ever seen, but all they want is my money, and they have so many reasons that I should give it to them that it is just amazing. Amazing Thailand as they say. What should I do, Hillary? Give them money or what? I sure like having them around me, but at this rate I won’t have enough left to eat by the end of the month. I’m 52, by the way.
Mike

Dear Mike,
You don’t say where all your begging eye candy comes from, my Petal, but let me guess. From the bars, right? That is how they operate. Find a new customer, drape themselves all over him, make him feel like he is some irresistible young buck again, and they have you hooked. Once you’re hooked, the next item is to land you, and they’ve done that when you pay for the vet’s fees for the ailing family buffalo, shortly after there will be medical bills for the brother with the broken leg after the motorcycle accident. Remember to offer to buy him another motorcycle as well, it will only cost you another 40,000 baht. Chicken feed. If you have a really thick wallet, then building a new house for Mama and Papa puts you right up to the top of the tree - that is, until you return to your home wherever, and another 52 year old from Sweden takes over. Honestly Mike, this behavior is so well documented, I find it amazing that there are still people who fall for all this. Amazing Thailand indeed!