Diet whiskey is good for your golf


The Backyard Golf Society

The Backyard boys had a very enjoyable day out at our regular Emerald venue last Friday, Jan. 4.  With a couple of guests joining us we had a full compliment but still managed to get around in about 4 hours, good for this time of year.

Leading the way this week was Dan ‘the Diet Whiskey Man’, who showed us all the benefit of consuming diet famous grouse in large volumes.  His score of 43 points included 2 blobs on the back nine and we have reliable reports from his playing partners that he threw out the anchor or as we call it “did a Jimmy” on those 2 holes to protect his ridiculously generous handicap.  A big drop in his quota can be expected from the PSC this week, but as Dan is the guy who enters the scores on-line we will have to check he has not been naughty in that regard!

Dan celebrates with the staff at Blue Sky Bar. Dan celebrates with the staff at Blue Sky Bar.

Obviously a weight has been lifted off Dan’s shoulders this week with a cheque finally making it into his bank account.  Runner-up in the stableford was JJ who had every reason to think he was in with a shout with 38 points but Dan’s big score knocked that for six.

The near-pin prize went to Irish John, apparently the only player to even stay on the green.  El Tel won last week’s roll-over skin and 4 more to boot; Irish John also had 4 skins with 3 to ‘The Diet Whiskey Man’, 3 to JJ, 2 to Golden Trowel’s boyfriend, 1 to the returning Kit and 1 rolled over to next week.

Some notable items from the round and after game soiree down the road; Irish John snapped the shaft on his 6 iron without even hitting the ground (don’t make steel shafts like they used to!); Martyn, The Quiet Man, was observed tipping above his standard 200B fee to his caddy; Second Hand Bob is still trying to catch up with Apple in Blue Sky in the chest area and Army John continues to spiral down the pecking order in Blue Sky and is currently only at number 6.

The Backyard golf society is a multi-denominational society that accepts anyone based on 3 members voting them in.  We are even considering letting Manchester United supports play but they must buy a round in advance for the privilege.  Slow play is outlawed, members are strongly encouraged to partake in the after-game beverage consumption activities and listening to The Quiet Man after he has had a few is just one of the occupational hazards that comes with the club.