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  COLUMNS

HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:
 
Family Money: Active Management VS Index Trackers
 
Successfully Yours: Ian Dickson
 
Snap Shots: Lighting for great portraits
  
Modern Medicine: Have you passed your “Use-by” date?

Heart to Heart with Hillary
 
Grapevine

Dining Out: Tokugawa - Shoji and Sushi
 
Animal Crackers: Puppies Galore
 
Down The Iron Road: The Great Heck Collision of 28-2-2001
 
Social Commentary by Khai Khem
 
The Computer Doctor
 
Sea Worlds
 
Forgotten Classics
 
Women’s World
 
Nightmarch
 
Guide to buying a large dog
  
Shaman’s Rattle
  
The Message In The Moon

Family Money: Active Management VS Index Trackers

By Leslie Wright

Share investments, such as funds, cover a large risk spectrum, from the small growing companies to national and global giants with well-established businesses.

What are the chances of a skilful manager of an equities-based fund selecting shares that will outperform the average? There is a long-running debate over whether any “active” manager can consistently, year after year, outperform the stock market as measured by relevant indices, such as the MSCI World Index, the FTSE 100 or the S&P500.

Tracker Funds

“Passive” funds - also known as tracker funds - have the more modest aim of simply tracking a particular market index and can provide good bedrock for an equities’ portfolio. They can sometimes be cheaper as well.

The fund manager does not attempt to predict share-price performance. Instead, the fund either invests in all the companies included in an index or uses a formula to mirror as closely as possible the performance of the index.

Of course, when the index falls these tracker funds also fall in value. But index-tracking funds are generally lower risk than specialist actively-managed funds that concentrate on a particular type of business - telecomms, for instance.

The only problem here is choosing the right index! The benchmark FTSE 100 lost 12% over 2000, for example.

Risk & Return

The performance and risk of actively-managed funds will depend on the sector they invest in. The bigger returns almost always mean bigger risk.

Investors always say they can accept risk - but rarely equate this to “loss”. Nonetheless, when the share price of a risky buy has dropped, all too often they panic and sell, thereby locking in the loss.

Risk really equates to volatility - the up & down movements in the short term. Shrewd investors use this volatility to their advantage: buying in when the market has dropped; selling when the market has risen to a peak.

But this game is more geared towards short-term speculation than long-term investment, and is definitely not for widows, pensioners, or the faint-hearted.

You also have to devote a considerable amount of time to it, and have access to the information with which to make informed decisions. Few amateur investors have either.

Packaged low-risk investments

The financial services industry is always looking for new ways to lure cautious investors out of the deposit account and into the market with low-risk investments.

The workings of many packaged investments are inscrutable to most investors.

Some use complicated financial instruments - futures, options, derivatives - that few understand. Others are wrapped up in insurance policies with opaque and complicated charging structures.

It’s no bad rule to avoid any investment if you do not understand how it works or how the manager levies charges.

It is prudent to seek professional advice before making any investment decision - especially if you’re thinking of buying an investment which you don’t properly understand.

Similarly, if such an investment is being recommended to you by a professional, satisfy yourself that you fully understand how it works, what its benefits and its negative aspects are, and its charges. If you’re in any doubt, ask for clarification.

There’s nothing wrong with asking your financial adviser probing questions: he should be happy to explain his strategic recommendations and the mechanics of the product you’re buying.

And if you’re shy about looking ignorant, remember that it’s better to look a fool for 10 seconds than be a fool for the rest of your life.

If a “specialised” investment promises more than 8%, tread carefully. (And the key word here is “promises” - as opposed to “has the potential to make”, which is quite different. For instance, the average return that can be expected over the long term from an offshore diversified medium-risk portfolio is a quite respectable 10% p.a. - but this could fluctuate between +24% in a good year - e.g., 1999 - and minus 8% in a bad one - e.g., 2000. The 10% return per annum benchmark is the average that can reasonably be expected - and should be demonstrable to you - over the longer term of 5 years-plus.)

With-Profits Policies

The with-profits policy is the oldest of the so-called ‘low-risk’ investments. The idea is that you build up your capital slowly using a fund investing in a wide range of investments. You get regular annual ‘bonuses’ - returns - based on the performance of the underlying investments with a smoothing effect that holds back bonuses in good years in order to maintain a steady bonus in poorer years.

In practice, annual bonuses have become so understated that investors have little idea of the value of their investment until they get the all-important terminal bonus when the policy matures.

With-profits endowment policies are long-term and inflexible investments which many investors come to regret taking out when their circumstances change.

For instance, many UK home-buyers will have taken one out to finance repayment of the principal on interest-only mortgages. But they have subsequently been informed that the projected maturity value of their endowment will be insufficient to pay off their mortgages; and they now have to increase the monthly contributions, or find additional capital to pay off their soon-maturing loans. Not a good position to be in...

Similarly, many mortgage-holders will have sold their homes and moved permanently overseas. They no longer require the endowment, and don’t wish to keep paying into something which is growing at a relatively pathetic rate.

But the penalties that typically apply to cashing in endowments early are harsh.

As a result, a whole new branch of the financial services industry has grown up around trading second-hand endowments. The cash-rich firm buys your endowment from you at a discount (but for more than you would have received had you cashed it with the provider), and holds it to maturity, when the terminal bonus kicks in. That’s how they make a profit (which is why they’re in business, after all).

There are even funds that invest in these TEPs (traded endowment policies), some of which have grown very nicely, and with relatively little volatility.

Shorter-term with-profits bonds may appear to be more attractive but can be subject to mysterious “market value adjustments” when investors want to cash in early.

More flexible and transparent investments, such as collective-investment funds, can offer returns that are just as good with a similar level of risk.

A more recent development is the guaranteed stock market bond. But these bonds can also be inflexible, and typically require the investor to take a minimum five-year view.

That is, you buy in now and forget it for five years, hoping that the bond will perform as per the glossy literature and you get back more than the guaranteed principal. In principle you can’t lose - but you might not gain either. And your money was tied up in the meantime. Investors rarely get the same total return as they would get from a more conventional fund. A tracker fund or other pooled investment fund may well be a better alternative.

But as with any investment, buy only what you feel comfortable with and fully understand.

Leslie Wright is managing director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments. If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, contact Leslie directly by fax on (038) 232522 or e-mail [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com

Editor’s note: Leslie sometimes receives e-mails to which he is unable to respond due to the sender’s automatic return address being incorrect. If you have sent him an e-mail to which you have not received a reply, this may be why. To ensure his prompt response to your enquiry, please include your complete return e-mail address, or a contact phone/fax number.

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Successfully Yours: Ian Dickson

By Mirin MacCarthy

President of BHP Steel Thailand at Maptaput is Ian Dickson, an all round Australian great guy; an energetic man of action. Charming, intelligent, quietly humorous and approachable, he does what he does well - managing people in a concerned way and transforming company balance sheets from loss to profit making. Ian explained, “BHP lost one and a half billion baht over the first three years of operation in Thailand. The Asian crisis plus being a start up business produced trade and economic factors that threatened the survival of the company. However, in the last six months we have managed to become profitable, making 150 million baht.”

Some turnaround, just how did Ian achieve that? “People are all important,” he says. “One of the things I do well is work with our people. I consider Thais to be the best employees in South East Asia because of their understanding, commitment and technical skills. If employees are able to understand the opportunities available to them and appreciate what BHP’s goals are, then you can increase their co-operation and participation in fulfilling company objectives.”

Born in the BHP steel city of Wollongong, Australia, many of Ian’s family, including father, cousins and brother in law, have worked for BHP either directly or through subsidiary companies. Ian went to Dapto High School, was good at chemistry and had visions of becoming an industrial chemist. The defining moment came for him when Lysaght offered a scholarship in Metallurgy. Rather than waiting, he decided to study Metallurgy at Wollongong University.

In 1979 he left the research field and moved to a technical position in Westernport Melbourne, but he was there for just six months before being invited to go to the Philippines for a year. Ian then spent every second year in Asia training and commissioning galvanizing plants, with time spent in Malaysia, Thailand, India and the Philippines. He has always been a man on the move. “I was involved in technical development in Westernport for several years, then in 1986 I moved into manufacturing. I found technical development too slow, whereas manufacturing provided new challenges and immediate results.”

In 1992 he commissioned a new metal coating line with a budget of $170 million dollars and introduced new management systems based on self managed work teams. In 1993 challenges at BHP slowed and he left to work with CSR, running several roof tile manufacturing plants. “For the last twelve years I’ve had a different job every year. I guess you could say I am bored easily.” ‘Enjoys a challenge’ could be a more apt description.

In 1997, however, he returned to BHP in KL and in 1999 was asked if he was interested in running the BHP steel business in Jakarta. He was president-director for one year and then took the post as president in Thailand. “In 1990 BHP had a dream of growth in Asia and I am happy to help keep that dream alive in spite of the Asian crisis.”

Ian is not all work and no play either. He has four children from a first marriage and met his delightful second wife Pat when she was H.R. manager for BHP. The couple have been married three years and have seven children between them. Although Ian travels extensively he loves nothing better than playing golf, fishing from the beach, swimming and growing orchids, roses and even vegetables in his fabulous Najomtien garden, as well as sharing time with his friends and family.

Ian is a firm believer in learning. “If you stop learning you have no life. You need to constantly reassess what you are doing and where you are going.” He values personal integrity and it shows. “Integrity is a core value I have. Personal integrity is involved in everything you do and on meeting your commitments and your promises. Another of my goals is having fun.”

“I hope I have taught my children that you get out of life what you put into it. Have a vision of what is important to you and then make the commitment to achieve this. This applies to what you want to be, to do and whatever you value in your life.” Religion does not play a role in his life. “I’m a scientist,” he says simply.

So what are Ian’s plans for the future? “If I was to retire fit and healthy I would consider going into local government (Australian) politics to stay mentally active. In 1990 I was a councillor for Hastings for three years in an independent council; it was a huge learning curve.” Ian Dickson is a born leader; a man with such a natural, disarming, friendly manner that I suspect that diplomacy for him was not the huge learning curve he describes.

His plans for the immediate future are committed to staying with BHP in Thailand for the next two years, “Then I would like to return to Melbourne to spend time with our family. Pat and I will have spent six years working in Asia. Career is not as important to me as the environment I work in and the people I work with.”

What does success mean to him? “Achieving the goals I have set and having the energy to enjoy business and social activities with friends. Our family and friends in Melbourne are important parts of our lives, and we have missed many important events over this time.”

Here stands a man of action, vision, integrity and achievement with a successful track record. I am just sorry that Ian and his talented wife Patricia are not planning on remaining in Thailand forever.

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Snap Shots: Lighting for great portraits

by Harry Flashman

We love taking photographs of people. We love people saying what a great shot it is of them. A great portrait is satisfying for both the photographer and the sitter, so this week let’s look at a few studio style tricks we might be able to adapt for the weekend photographer who does not have banks of studio lights and other such paraphernalia of the pro photographer.

To start with, let’s get some of the techo bits out of the way. You should choose a lens of around 100 mm focal length (135 mm is Harry’s preferred “portrait” lens) or set your zoom to around that focal length. No matter what you do, if you are using a wide angle lens (anything numerically less than 50 mm), then the end result will be disappointing. That is of course unless you like making people look distorted with big noses!

The second important technical bit is to set your lens aperture to around f5.6. At that aperture you will get the face in focus and the background will gently melt away - provided that you focus on the eyes!

Perhaps a word or two about focus here, as it is very important in portrait pictures. I always use a split image focus screen and focus on the lower eyelid. This makes sure that the eyes will be exactly in focus. If you are using Autofocus (AF), then again you should make sure you focus on the eyes and “lock focus” so you will not lose it.

Next item is the general pose itself. Please, please do not have your subject sitting rigidly directly face on to the camera. This is not a passport/visa run photograph we are going to take. It is to be a flattering portrait. Sit the subject in a chair and turn the chair at 45 degrees to the camera, so the subject is facing slightly away from the photographer. Now when you want to take the shot you get the subject to turn the head slowly towards you and take the shot that way. You can also get a shot with them looking away from you.

Now let’s get down to the most important part - the lighting. We need to do two things with our lighting. Firstly light the face and secondly light the hair. Now the average weekend photographer does not have studio lights and probably has an on-camera flash to work with. Not to worry, we can get over all this! The answer is a mirror and a large piece of black velvet.

Take the black velvet first. You will need a piece around 2 metres square and the idea is to place the velvet close to one side of the subject, but not actually in the photograph. You get as close as possible and the black will absorb much of the light and allow no reflection of light back onto that side of the subject’s face. Hang the velvet over a clothes drying stand or similar to make life easy for yourself.

Now the mirror. This device will give you the power of having a second light source for no cost! Now since you are firing light into the subject from the top of your camera, you position the mirror at about 30-45 degrees tilted downwards, placed behind and to the side of the subject, pointing basically at the sitters ear. The side you choose is the side opposite the black velvet. Again, you must make sure that the mirror is not in the viewfinder.

What you now have is a primary light source (the on-camera flash), a secondary light source lighting the hair and adding to the light on one side of the face, and a light absorber to give a gradation of light across the subject’s face.

Experiment with the positions of each, but you will be surprised at how much life this will give your portraits. Takes a little setting up, but it is worth it.

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Modern Medicine: Have you passed your “Use-by” date?

by Dr Iain Corness Consultant

Some people ask me where I get the ideas for these weekly medical mutterings from the mount. The answer is simple - generally from you folk yourselves. Many of you will pop in and ask me a medical question, which may stimulate my imagination and away we go from there. This week’s is one of those.

One of these questions related to the expiry or “Use By” date that you see on tablets, capsules, suspensions, etc. These expiry dates are worked out by the manufacturers of the magic medications and relates to how long they keep their biological activity at good therapeutic levels.

However, like 60 kph speed limits where 59 kph is “safe” and 61 kph is “dangerous” - a totally ludicrous concept, the same exists for the expiry date on medications. If it says use before 19th of August it does not mean that on the 20th of August the medication changes into chalk. In today’s non-risk taking world, the manufacturers are covering their posteriors. They have to imagine that you are going to maltreat their medications and the expiry date really represents the “worst case” scenario.

Let me assure you that on the 20th of August, that medication is still good. In fact, many of the charity organizations go around the doctors’ surgeries in the western world, collecting “out of date” drugs to be used in the developing world. In Vietnam a few years ago the pharmacies used to sell medications with the expiry date cut off the foil wrappings. You can guess where they came from!

Another reason for short expiry times could be that the shorter it keeps, the more has to be manufactured and bought. But of course the large drug companies wouldn’t think that way, would they. That’s just a thought from old cynical brains like mine!

So how should you store your prescription medicines? Well the first thing is to look at the box and it generally tells you the ideal storage place and temperature, but if it doesn’t then you won’t go far wrong with storing it in the door of the household refrigerator. This is particularly so for liquids, suspensions, eye drops and the like; however, with opened bottles, there is always a very short expiry on them, generally around 30 days from the date of opening. Do not be tempted to extend this time. It is not worth it.

For individually wrapped tablets in blister packs or foil, then a cool dark cupboard is fine, but for capsules, it is even more important to keep them cool. Again the door of the fridge is a good place.

There is one other important consideration regarding keeping medications at home - children. You must keep drugs away from all children. Many medications are brightly coloured, suspensions are sweet and children are attracted by them. Always keep medications out of the reach of children!

So that is the expiry date story, not exciting, but mainly simple common sense.

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Dear Hillary,

I am sure that you must make up some of the letters in your column because surely people are not that silly. What I want to know is just how do you dream up the subject matter? Do you study other agony aunt columns or what? Do you get your inspiration from real life? Tell me and I promise not to tell a single solitary soul.

The Enquirer

Dear Enquirer,

Are you suggesting Hillary makes up this drivel? Sorry, Poppet, Hillary couldn’t possibly make up letters as silly as yours. So you think people aren’t that silly - well think again - you are one of them, my little turtle dove. Don’t take this too hard, but when you have passed puberty you must write to me again.

Dear Hillary,

Can you advise me? My wife’s daughter from her previous marriage is coming to stay with us for a few days. Over the years she has not been at all friendly towards me and takes whatever she can wheedle out from her mother. I am sure that this will be no different than in previous years and she will spend her time finding new and more inventive ways of getting into my wife’s purse. Do you think I should warn my wife, or confront the daughter? What do you think Hillary?

Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,

I don’t think your wife or your step-daughter has the problem, but you obviously do. Your wife should be left to deal with her daughter as she sees fit - not how you think it should be. Don’t be meddlesome, just try to be a little more accommodating. You have already admitted it’s just for a few days. What’s wrong with you? Leave the pair of them alone and they’ll work out their relationship, and in the long run, does it matter what your wife gives her daughter? Loosen up, Petal.

Dear Hillary,

Where do you suggest I take my Thai girlfriend so that I can whisper sweet nothings in her ear? Most of the places she likes to go to are too noisy and she seems not to hear my mutterings at her ear lobe when I ask her to leave as I want to go home. She is really a wonderful girl in every respect other than the fact that she wants me to go to places I find too noisy. She is a lot younger than me, so it does not seem to matter. Have you some suggestions Miss Hillary?

Reg

Dear Reg,

I think the first thing you should do is turn off your hearing aid. The second thing to do is to find an older girlfriend or pay the price of having such a young chickadee around you. The choice is yours Reg. Never mind sweet nothings - it sounds to me like you’re getting sweet nothing doings back.

Dear Hillary,

A lot of people are wary of girls who work in bars, but my girl friend’s family buffalo is in good health. Both of her parents are healthy too. She has no brothers and sisters and her grandparents are all passed on. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen with a wonderful figure and never gets “bitchy”. She also does not have a child living with her mother. Am I lucky or what? I am considering asking her to move in with me.

Lucky Geoff

Dear Lucky Geoff,

Hillary is absolutely thrilled for you my Petal, but would caution you to stop drinking whatever it is that you have been imbibing recently. You are having delusions, my boy. The girl you describe does not exist. Get a vet’s report on the buffalo before going any further.

Dear Hillary,

Like many people in Pattaya I am tired of fighting with baht bus (song taew) drivers over fares, especially at night. Is there any alternative other than motorbike taxis?

Bill the baht bus basher

Dear Bill (the baht bus basher),

The alternative is walking. However, you could always buy your own baht bus. In the meantime buy hiking boots.

Dear Hillary,

Over the past few months I have noticed that some of the people who have written in tend to ramble on and on and on about their “problems” most of which could be answered with only the slightest modicum of common sense. Do they get some kind of vicarious pleasure from baring their souls like this or is it they just want to see their names in print? I would be interested in knowing the ratio of lengthy letters because I would assume that you cull these or drastically shorten the ones from the ramblers. I await your answer with interest.

Harold

Dear Harold,

If it helps your scientific study, I didn’t shorten yours, Petal. And what was that about “modicum” of common sense? Hillary is still trying to decipher what your question was all about. Or did you just want to see your name in print? Mind you, I liked the “vicarious pleasure” idea - haven’t had some of that for quite a while. It is best taken with chocolates and champagne they tell me. Please send some over and I’ll let you know Harold.

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GRAPEVINE

Glad to be straight

Absolutely the sanest thing written about Pattaya’s gay festival appeared in Readers’ Letters a fortnight ago. By making such a fuss, the alarmist crusaders who just maybe prefer to bask undisturbed in a heterosexual sun are in fact ensuring a long lease of life for the fund raising events, the writer said. There is already talk of making the gay festival an annual occurrence. The organizers’ publicity committee is rumored to be well satisfied so far.

One of the odd features of the debate has been the assumption in some quarters that the gay festival is a three day jamboree next December which somehow can be stopped if enough worthy citizens scream indignation. Actually, the festival has been up and running since mid February with a rolling programme of social events in restaurants and bars. Contributions to the nominated charities are already said to have topped half a million baht. This includes some sizeable donations from individuals, many of whom have no vested interest in a gay lifestyle. The total contribution to charity could even approach five million baht by the year’s end. We are not talking peanuts here. The public procession next December, with floats and all, will be run under normal police rules.

An interesting aspect is that the debate has been conducted wholly by farangs so far as it’s possible to judge. Thais just don’t seem to care, perhaps because pressure group politics and getting hot under the collar are not a central part of their tradition. One worthy Thai did confide to this column that if he could abolish at a stroke either the April water throwing festival or the December gay pride rally, he would certainly choose the former. Thais themselves, none the less, are apparently on the all the committees organizing the whole thing and will doubtless form the major part of the street events next December as they did in Bangkok and Phuket. One wonders if the penny has really dropped in certain quarters that this is largely a local enterprise supporting Thai recognized worthy causes. The job of the farangs, generally with thicker wallets, is to pay up. As always.

A major plank of the argument against the festival is that sexuality should be a private matter. It doubtless is in Baghdad and a number of Derbyshire villages. But Pattaya is raunchier. Thus, the number of people coming here to enjoy eighteenth century chamber music and to take photographs of our giant waterfalls must be tiny indeed. You can certainly object to distasteful sexual excess if you like, and the definitions are up to you, but that is hardly a gay monopoly. Take a walk down certain well known sois which cater for decidedly heterosexual indulgences for proof of that. Take a look at some of the names of non gay clubs and bars, one of which until recently was neon lit with a four letter expletive. Moreover, there’s at least one nitery in Pattaya which openly advertises a lesbian show. Only the most na๏ve of observers would suggest such a spectacle is aimed at attracting gays of either sex. Who then? Be honest now. Public order in Pattaya is a matter best left to the authorities and the police. Farangs sitting in pious judgment are likely to end up in a cauldron of contradictions.

Of course, homosexuality is a controversial subject. So is heterosexuality, environmental pollution and the standards of driving in the city. Any and all of these have given, and will continue to give, Pattaya “a bad name” in certain contexts if you choose to worry. The issue raised by the troubled is whether the gay festival, as planned, will cause shock horror waves round the world, drive tourists away in droves, lead to a new aids epidemic and cause the collapse of moral values as we know them. All these things have been suggested and are hardly revolutionary or new thoughts. Equally likely, the gay festival will show the furor was much ado about nothing, will raise a lot of cash for worthy causes and will reflect the truism that Pattaya is a free and easy city for all provided you stick to the rules. If ever Pattaya ceases to lose that free and easy ethos, you can bet your bottom dollar that incoming planes will be a lot less full and that applications for retirement visas will take a downward spiral. To quote the obvious, Pattaya is Pattaya.

Things we want to know

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When cheese gets its photograph taken, what does it say?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why doesn’t anyone say, “It’s only a game” if their team is winning?
If we are here to help others, what are the others here for?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
Why is the man you trust with your money called a broker?

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Dining Out: Tokugawa - Shoji and Sushi

by Miss Terry Diner

Ambassador City Jomtien is one hotel on the Eastern Seaboard we should not forget, just for the sheer enormity of it if nothing else; however, it seemed the Dining Out Team had forgotten that this hotel has several restaurants. One of these is the Tokugawa Japanese Restaurant and we met the Ambassador’s executive chef Mongkol Raksakiettisak for dinner.

The restaurant is on the 3rd floor of the Ocean Wing and the minute you step through the Shoji screened portal you are in Japan. Light coloured wood abounds, contrasting with the darker tiled floor. Japanese style lights, raffia placemats and porcelain chopstick rests all add to the visual appeal.

The eating areas include a Sushi/Sashimi bar, a ‘western’ style sit down restaurant with six tables and a Shoji screened alcove and two private dining sections, the kind with the large pit in the floor to put your feet and ‘legless’ chairs to sit on.

The menu is the most colourful one in town with 12 photo pages showing the different items on offer. Each shows exactly what you will get and how much it costs. There are also English and Thai language translations, for example the Wakadori Momo Yaki (100 baht) is actually grilled young chicken leg or the Futo Maki is rice thick-rolled with seaweed and mixed stuffing. It is difficult for the non-Japanese to put the items into sections, and Miss Terry isn’t going to try, but suffice to say that the general run are around 100 baht, going up to 560 baht if you want the imported US sirloin teriyaki.

At the sushi bar there is also an informative sushi menu with delightful little known facts on items Japanese. For example, did you know that the heaviest sumo wrestler weighs a mere 497 pounds? Amaze your friends!

The kitchen is under the command of Vasan Chantarasombat who trained under some of the best Japanese chefs in Bangkok, and is a man who attends to his cooking with an eye for artistic detail as well as authenticity in taste. Many of the foodstuffs are imported from Japan and it was fascinating to watch some of the sushi/sashimi dishes being prepared. The ingredients such as the outer seaweed wrapping are placed on a small bamboo screen and when ready, the screen is rolled up, forming a long sushi ‘roll’ which is then sliced up to make the individual serves.

Executive chef Mongkol suggested we begin with the Sake Shio Yaki (imported salmon grilled in Japanese soy sauce - 270 baht) and then try the Nabeyaki Udon, which is a type of needle stew/soup served in a cast iron pot (125 baht).

The salmon was excellent and a hefty portion, while the noodle dish was a veritable treasure trove of fish, chicken meat, tempura prawn and soft noodles.

At chef’s suggestion we then moved into an assortment of sushi/sashimi items. These came with Miss Terry’s favourite green Wasabe mustard. This you dissolve in soy sauce and use as a dip for the sushi items. I just love the wallop in the back of the nose that you get with Wasabe! Again these had imported foods as their base, with even the crab sticks and squid being the genuine imported Japanese item. There was even the most finely slivered vegetables, which turned out to be turnip and carrot, with the assorted raw dishes.

My dish of the evening just had to be the crab stick sashimi (with Wasabe of course), while Madame went for the grilled salmon, but I must admit that all the dishes we tried were excellent.

Many people are a little hesitant with Japanese food, being unfamiliar with the names; however, the easily understood pictorial menu made that side of the evening very easy. If you are a lover of the Japanese cuisine, put Tokugawa on your list. If you just want to experience Japanese food without hassle, make the trip down to Na-Jomtien too. You won’t regret it.

Tokugawa Japanese Restaurant, Ambassador City Jomtien, 21/10 Sukhumvit Road, Na-Jomtien, phone 255 731-3.

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Animal Crackers: Puppies Galore

by Mirin MacCarthy

So you want to breed dogs?

Presumably you have checked out suitable breed types. “Genetic Considerations” was covered in Animal Crackers Vol IX Number 10, and although it refers to breeding cats, the same basic genetic principles apply to dogs.

Sexual behaviour of the dog

Male dogs usually reach sexual maturity roughly between the ages of six to twelve months. Male puppies practice sexual behaviour in the form of embarrassing leg tackling, mounting and pelvic thrusting as part of their early learning. Having reached puberty all male dogs will pursue any bitch in the neighbourhood that is “in heat” or “in season.”

Sexual behaviour of the bitch

A female puppy or bitch reaches sexual maturity at roughly the same age as a male; however, there are variations among breeds and individuals. The bitches have oestrus cycles which dictate when they are able to reproduce. In between each oestrous cycle there is a rest when the bitch is not sexually active. Generally most bitches have at least one breeding cycle each year.

Is she or isn’t she?

The start of the breeding oestrous cycle is marked by a blood stained discharge, which lasts from four to thirteen days and may first be noticed as blood stained spotting on the animal’s bed. Old towels on her bedding and furniture help at this stage. This spotting occurs at the start of the fertile period, before the release of eggs and prior to mating. The next period in the cycle is the oestrous stage, which lasts approximately nine days. The discharge becomes clear and contains the attractive chemical pheromones. The bitch is now at her most receptive and fertile and will run away at this stage if given the chance and mate with any and every unsuitable dog she encounters. Be aware that it is possible for her to be fertilized by different dogs and the litter of puppies to have different fathers. If the bitch is at the risk of unwanted pregnancy then immediate hormone injections can be given. If she is not intended to have puppies then the best option is to have her spayed.

Pregnancy duration

The length of pregnancy is about sixty-three days. In the first three or four weeks of pregnancy there are few signs and the bitch should be given her normal diet. At around three and a half weeks an experienced veterinary surgeon will normally be able to detect pregnancy by careful feeling the abdomen of the bitch. At around five weeks of pregnancy you can see the bitch’s stomach starts to noticeably enlarge. The teats become larger and pink. After one month of pregnancy the bitch will need about half as much food again on top of her normal ration, in the form of high quality protein like meat and eggs. It is then best to give several small feeds a day to allow for the expanding bellyful of pups.

Consult a vet

It is wise to consult a vet if there are any doubts and so that the vet will be notified and prepared to assist in an emergency. At about one month before the birth the bitch should be treated for roundworms. This is normally repeated when she is suckling her puppies so any re-infestation is prevented. The vet will also advise about any booster vaccinations necessary. Keep the lady on moderate exercise, not jumping and running around but just the daily walks to prevent obesity. Pregnant animals need to keep their weight under control to allow for a well nourished but unobstructed birth.

Next week Part 2: Preparing for the birth; when to call the vet; and routine care of mum & pups

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Down The Iron Road: The Great Heck Collision of 28-2-2001

by John D. Blyth

The Location

At almost exactly a distance of 167 miles from London’s King’s Cross station, the East Coast Main Line crosses the West to East M62 Motorway by an over bridge at an almost non-extant place called Great Heck; I identify the location as very near the site of an ancient and long lost station, called simply ‘Heck’. This crossing of rail by road was, at about 06.10 on 28th February, the venue for the latest rail disaster to hit the hard-pressed railways of Britain. Two trains were involved, but the culprit was a Land Rover which left the Motorway at the approach to the over bridge and plunged down the embankment, ending on the running lines. It is not clear why the car left the road; one can speculate on more than one reason.

The Trains

The passenger train involved was the 04.45 from Newcastle-upon-Tyne to London, a regular 12-coach formation electrically powered by a Class 91 locomotive, by-sheer coincidence No. 91 023, just back in service following its involvement in the Hatfield incident of last October. Yes... there are superstitious people in the U.K., too, and this hasn’t escaped their notice. Leaving York the train had about 100 passengers on board; a later train would have around 400-500, and deaths would have been increased accordingly from the 13 recorded. It was this train that hit the fated Land Rover, and carried it forward on its damaged leading vehicle.

The freight train was a block train of coal from Immingham (Grimsby) to a power station at Ferrybridge; worked by one of the new US-built Class 66 heavy freight locomotives of which over 250 were ordered for the railway’s freight sectors by the ebullient but short-lived manager of railway freight, Ed Burkhardt. The train weight has been stated as some 1500 tonnes, that of the passenger train around 600 tonnes.

The Collision

Realising where he was, the Land Rover driver at once spoke to the emergency services on his mobile phone, warning them of the line blockage; he was too late, even as he spoke he heard the approach of the London train, yelled a warning into the phone, and got as far away as possible from danger. The shock of what he saw and heard has, as I write, put him into a condition that precludes him from talking about it. He had no warning at all of the sudden appearance of the coal train on the opposite line from the express. The latter had the Land Rover on its front, fouling the opposite line; part at least of the express train was derailed but all still on the move, and this was hit, very hard indeed, by the front of the freight locomotive.

Chaos now was well in charge, and there was a turmoil of wrecked coaches and coal wagons, the latter unloading hundreds of tonnes of fuel into local gardens; the former with terrified, injured, and in some cases dead, passengers. It has been estimated that it will take some weeks before the line is open again, even for slow movements.

Comments

There is a feature of the East Coast ‘225’ train that may not be well-known; this is the feature known as ‘push-pull’ working. Not uncommon when I was young, but only for purely local services at slow speeds, I admit to my misgivings when the former Southern Region of British Rail, after a long testing period, brought in something similar on the then non-electrified section between Bournemouth and Weymouth; the Bournemouth portion would be taken out of the way and a diesel engine attached to the remaining four coaches, whisking them away to Weymouth, and on the return trip, propelling them back to Bournemouth, to be attached with little delay to the rest of the train, and so - off to London. It seemed to work, but as train speeds increased, so did misgivings; a nasty accident at Polmont, on the Edinburgh-Glasgow line when a propelled train ran into a herd of cows, with enough deaths to cause real concern, led to a directive that no passengers were to be carried in the front coach of a propelled train if speeds of over 100 mph were planned.

I mention all this because the 04.45 Newcastle to London on 28th February was a propelled train; the locomotive, quite undamaged, was at the rear, pushing, the driver, with a full set of controls but 12 coaches away was in a ‘Driving Van Trailer’ (‘DVT’), empty of passengers and only carrying a few bundles of magazines, maybe some out-of-course Post Office traffic, but 90% wasted space. Of late there has been much pressure to lift or modify the directive under some controlled conditions, and some of the new trains being designed seem to assume a relaxation.

Recent events, however, suggest to me that an early easing is very unlikely!

The Great Heck disaster stands out as one in which no member of the railway staff was at fault, nor could any, once the car was on the line, have done anything to save the situation. Apart from the train crews there were no rail staff anywhere near, and had there been it is doubtful if, with so short a timescale, any useful action could have been taken. The driver of the Land Rover acted commendably but too late; however, he will have to explain some time why his vehicle went off the Motorway, seemingly out of control.

The crash barriers erected at any place where a Motorway crosses a railway, or some similar feature, are strong enough to withstand a blow from a 44-tonne truck; their standard length is understood to be 30 meters; in this case the Land Rover appears to have been well behind the barrier, but still reached the railway line.

Thus it seems that even this is nothing to do with the railway, always the scapegoat and always blameworthy, and it will be inevitable that the road lobby will seek to blame the railway, simply for being there. Thinking persons will think straight, and will realise that this is a case for the Highways Authority to look at very closely, and decide whether the length, and even now, the strength of the crash is sufficient, or if either or both ought to be modified to suit local conditions.

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Social Commentary by Khai Khem

So what’s so great about heterosexuality?

It is hard not to notice that there are two schools of thought about the imminent gay parade in Pattaya. Some for it, and some against. That is par for the course. Maybe there are actually three schools of thought - the third being those who don’t care if we hold the parade or not. I think in our special district of Pattaya, that school of thought may hold the largest attendance. To survive in Pattaya, one must be extremely open minded about a very long list of social situations. We long term residents of the land of the ‘free’ are made of bamboo, we bend with the winds. The mighty oaks break and fall.

Many cities around the world hold gay parades; San Francisco and Sydney are a couple of examples. And like Carnival in Rio and New Orleans, they seem to be not so much a political or social statement as just another fun excuse for a party. It has been suggested that to hold a parade for our city’s gay community it is somehow making a point on sexual preference, and that if heterosexuals held one, it would imply that as well. That may have been true 30 years ago, but well organised parades which are set up as charity events are not the same as street protests or public service messages. Manhattan holds one of the world’s most elegant (and hilarious) style shows for dogs every year. If one day the city decides to do the same thing for cats, I doubt that New York City residents who own dogs will all take them to the vet’s and have them put to sleep. Of course not! After a few years of marriage to anyone of either sex, the dog is the only one still glad to see you when you get home.

I have my own suspicions on why gays have come out of the ‘closet’ and feel they can live their lives out in the open with dignity. The Battle of the Sexes has been the longest ongoing war in human history. Heterosexual couples have not been the best of examples when it comes to human relationships. Most men trash women as a competitive sport. And women do the same. Put a group of same sex people together and until Western nations legislated against it, it was everyone’s favorite hobby, way behind smoking and golf.

Take a woman’s locker room at the local fitness club for example. My sources tell me there is no other subject more lively than putting their husbands or boyfriends behind the 8-ball. My neighbour said the only difference between her husband and her boyfriend was - 45 minutes. Her Thai friend countered that in Thailand, the Thai men’s idea of safe sex was a padded headboard. (I could have added that from checking out the beaches, the only difference between a girlfriend and a wife was about 45 kilos.)

In the USA where lawsuits are the nation’s favorite hobby, talking dirty to a woman is called Sexual Harassment and is backed up by stiff penalties. When a women talks dirty to a man, it now comes in the form of a lawyer’s invoice and costs about $200 an hour.

My gay friends had the last word. They decided that the only reason a man chases a woman, even though he has no serious intentions of marrying her or even entering into a long term relationship with the lady, is the very same reason a dog chases a car, without ever intending to drive it. I guess we’d all better lighten up and enjoy the parade.

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The Computer Doctor

by Richard Bunch

From Jack, Pattaya: I will shortly be traveling overseas and want to be able to collect my e-mail from KSC as easily as possible during this period. I will be staying both with friends and in hotels and will probably be using Internet cafes mostly. I seem to remember that you have advised how to do this before, but I can’t seem to find it in back issues.

Computer Doctor replies: Actually Jack, you are not alone and this is something that I have received several requests for over the last few weeks. The easiest solution is to use a web-based solution like http://www.netcafeguide.com/mail/ - this is a free service and works very well, all you need is your e-mail address, login name and password. The alternative is to set up your account in the e-mail client that is available to you, Outlook, Outlook Express, Eudora, etc., but this is time consuming and of course you need to delete the account after you’ve checked your mail.

From Simon Jackson, Na Jomtien: I have a Dell Notebook PC that I have brought with me from England. At the moment I do not have a land line telephone and want to use my Nokia mobile telephone which has infrared facility to access the Internet. I have already purchased a Loxinfo Instant Access Kit. I have never used the telephone like this before but I know friends who have, but they can’t tell me why mine doesn’t work. When I try to setup the Dial Up account, I can only see the internal modem as available. How do I get it to recognize the mobile?

Computer Doctor replies: When you purchased the telephone you would almost certainly have been given a CD containing software and drivers necessary to effect the connection. Once installed, you will be able to select your mobile when setting up the Dial Up account. You will also need to activate the infrared service on the telephone and place it within range of the receiver on the Notebook. If you cannot find your CD, you can download the software from http://www.nokia.com

From Jackie Keen, Pattaya: I have a Toshiba Notebook PC and have decided that I really should back up my data on a regular basis. One of the reasons that I have kept putting it off is that I don’t know what the best way is. I could use floppies but it would take an enormous quantity and would be very slow. Please suggest my best option.

Computer Doctor replies: These days there really isn’t anything to better a rewritable CD. These are quick, reliable and easily transportable. Most modern Notebook PC’s have a USB port and it is possible to connect a USB rewritable CD as required. One of the most cost effective is from Iomega, which will cost around 9,000 baht.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or fax to 038 427 596 or e-mail to [email protected] The views and comments expressed within this column are not necessarily those of the writer or Pattaya Mail Publishing.

Richard Bunch is managing director of Action Computer Technologies Co., Ltd. providing professional services which include custom database and application development, website design, promotion and hosting, computer and peripheral sales service and repairs, pro audio solutions, networks (LAN & WAN) and IT consulting. For further information, please e-mail [email protected] or telephone/fax 038 716 816 or see our website www.act.co.th

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Sea Worlds : Tropical Oceans

by Apichart Panyadee

Great coral reefs of the world

We have acknowledged that Australia’s Great Barrier Reef is the planet’s largest living organism, and the vast and complex ecosystem which it supports. However, there are many remarkable coral reefs in tropical waters, and each is distinctive, and supports many different species, which are indicative to each particular reef.

Gray moray eels from the Red Sea

Japan’s tropical ocean is warmed by the Kuroshio (Japan Current). This current brings tropical marine life to Japan’s seas. Translated, Kuroshio means “black stream”. This stream supports fertile fishing grounds in Suruga Bay and neighbouring Sagami Bay. Both are off the south coast of Honshu, Japan’s largest island.

Japan has designated an extensive system of marine parks which are controlled jointly by a national park service and commercial fishermen. The seas teem with mullet, squid, cuttlefish, cardinal fish, and it is here they swarm in a forest of wire coral and black coral reefs. Divers avoid the bizarre scorpion fish. It often lies hidden on the seafloor, waiting quietly for an unwary visitor. This fish is a master of mimicry and camouflage. Its colour and texture changes to match its surroundings, and the disguise allows a potential meal to swim within striking distance. These creatures possess strong, venomous fin spines which can inflict deep and painful wounds for the uninitiated diver.

The harlequin moray eel, like other morays, lurks in holes or between boulders. Basically it is shy and only attacks when threatened or hungry. It usually emerges at night, and can swallow a fish or a crab in one gulp. The harlequin rarely strikes divers, but can mistake human hands for prey, inflicting serious wounds. Horn like nostrils protrude from the top of its snout, prompting the Japanese to call it the “tiger eel”.

The Red Sea

The Red Sea stretches 1,300 miles from Bab al Mandab, to the Sinai Peninsula and the Gulfs of Suez and Aqaba. Only 190 miles at its widest point, the Red Sea was formed some 25 million years ago as Africa and the Arabian Peninsula drifted apart.

Lion fish

Though no one knows for sure how the Red Sea got its name, one theory holds forth that it came from certain algae, which turned the normally intense blue-green water into a reddish brown when they died. The sea itself contains the ocean’s warmest and saltiest waters. A continental shelf gives way to waters reaching depths of more than 7,000 feet. The diversity and beauty of underwater life in the Red Sea stand in stark contrast to the gnarled and barren rock forming its southern tip. The land is a desert, but the sea is a cornucopia of underwater life.

Papua New Guinea

The country of Papua New Guinea occupies the eastern half of New Guinea, the world’s second largest island, lying off the coast of Australia. Just south of the equator, Papua New Guinea’s seas harbor some of the worlds most extensive and diverse coral reefs. The most profuse reefs are found clinging to the slopes of outlying islands. The seas off Cape Vogel contain some of this region’s richest coral reefs. Fed by natural land runoff from abundant rainfall, these reefs slope down from near vertical cliffs. The Solomon Sea, north of Cape Vogel, is characterized by deep trenches, some reaching depths of nearly 30,000 feet.

The Caribbean seas

Only 10 to 15 million years old, the Caribbean coral reefs are less diverse than their 60-70 million year old counterparts. But they are rich in marine life. Near Grand Cayman Island, divers find stingrays, squid and other invertebrates. Stingrays locate their food using highly developed electro-receptors, and a finely tuned sense of smell and touch. The stingray often lies partially buried in the sea’s sandy bottom. Its whip-like tail can drive a tail spine into an intruder and inflict a painful wound.

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Forgotten Classics : Grey Lady Down - The Crime

by Mott the Dog
e-mail: [email protected]

What is progressive rock? Well it’s when you grow up and stop worrying about what the band look like, and start listening to the music.

My British Bulldog friends “Grey Lady Down” are a fine example with their Neo-progressive sound. They strive for a more direct aggressive and some would say accessible sound than some of their contemporaries. Lots of loud guitars and keyboards in a musical structure that contains many long instrumental passages.

The opening railway announcements are followed by lead vocalist Martin Wilson calling you “All Aboard for the 12.02”, a rollocking ditty about taking the last train home, then waking up the next day and trying to remember what happened. Ring any bells anybody?

The song “The Crime” is split up into two sections, just as well really, otherwise it would be over 25 minutes long. The second of which brings the music to its dramatic conclusion.

All the way through “The Crime” the drums and bass guitar are as solid as British steel, being twice as heavy as some of the newer heavy metal bands.

During the song “Annabel”, where the band actually sound happy, Jules Hunt “Grey Lady Down’s lead guitarist is allowed to slip the leash and really go for the top, which he screams past, leaving you in no doubt as to the musical prowess of this band.

“The Crime” by Grey Lady Down was released in 1994 on the “Cyclops” record label, who have since released another 4 “Grey Lady Down” CD’s including the magnificent double live CD “The Time of Our Lives” (with all 3 parts of the Crime put together to ride out to 40 minutes). Cyclops have also released over 100 CDs by contemporary progressive rock bands - if you wish to know more about this exceedingly good music, look up the Cyclops website at www.gft-cyclops.co.uk

Grey Lady Down. The Crime

The charges:

1. 12.02
2. All Join Hands
3. Thrill Of It All
4. The Crime (part one) The Ballad Of Billy Grey
5. Circus Of Thieves
6. Annabel
7. The Crime (part two) The Fugitive

The Criminals who committed this Crime are:
Louis David, with more keyboards than he possibly needed
Julian Hunt, mandolin, banjo, & other six string weapons
Martin Wilson, orders
Sean Spear, sawn-off sledge hammer
Mark Robothan, hitting things (anythings)

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Women’s World : Why do we need to be beautiful?

by Lesley Warner 

I was doing some research about how we look at ourselves now compared to a few years ago; it’s interesting. There have been several surveys conducted on how people feel about the appearance of their bodies. I read in one that in 1972 twenty-three percent of American women were dissatisfied with their appearance but by 1997 that figure had risen to fifty-six percent. In 1972 fifteen percent of men were dissatisfied with their appearance but by 1997 that figure had risen to forty-three percent. Thirty-eight percent of men are now dissatisfied with the size of their chests compared to the thirty-four percent of women dissatisfied with their breasts. Men are getting pectoral implants. Millions of women have had surgery to change the size and shape of their breasts and many more go through the agony of face-lifts and other torturous cosmetic surgery all in the name of ‘beauty’.

Why? Images of beauty are everywhere. Pictures of handsome men and beautiful women grace the pages of glossy magazines, television, billboards, consumer products and the Internet. In the developed world the preoccupation with the body and with beauty is intensifying and the beauty industry, despite nearly thirty years of feminism, is a multi-billion dollar a year business.

In the United Kingdom, visit any newsagent and you will find dozens of magazines on various aspects of style, fashion and health. For example there are several magazines devoted to only hairstyles and hair care. There are numerous men’s body building magazines telling them how to get a flat stomach and bulging biceps. Images of slim models seem to be everywhere and they always look so fit and healthy; is it a wonder that vast numbers of women are preoccupied with their weight?

So why, despite this preoccupation with beauty and the well-publicised health risks, are over a third of Americans obese and the rest of Europe fast catching up? On the other side we have anorexia nervosa, a serious and potentially fatal mental health problem causing the sufferer to feel obese when they are in fact virtually skeletal.

What people don’t seem to realise is that the images of beauty everywhere are not the average man or woman. The models, actors, and actresses that we see on TV and in the movies are selected from the thousands who apply. They are statistically exceptional in their appearance and the professional stylists and make-up artists that spend hours doing their hair and make-up enhance this. They then spend gruelling hours in the gym, usually with their personal trainer; this we don’t see. Does anyone remember the influence that Farrah Fawsett’s hair had on the world of women? In films, soaps, and sitcoms they are often placed in ordinary situations so that we all feel that they are our competition.

Of course the makeup manufacturers we know capitalise on our weakness. But there are many other items sold to us under the guise that to own them would make us more beautiful.

Why are both men and women more preoccupied, more anxious, about being beautiful these days than ever before?

I don’t think that there is a straight forward or simple answer; men think women want to be beautiful for them but the ladies I have spoken to say they want beauty to please themselves.

I think the saddest aspect is that many people, especially youngsters, feel so inadequate if they feel that they do not measure up when they look into the mirror. This is a problem we need to address as soon as we see it forming in the minds of our children. As we can read in my recent columns it’s not only ‘Beauty’ that makes us who we are, it’s what we do with our lives.

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Nightmarch

In the Hot Spots: To get you in some sort of mood for the upcoming festival of water, water and copious quantities of powder (otherwise known as Songkran), the Planet Rock ogling den and party palace (Pattayaland Soi 2) is holding a Miss Songkran contest on Wednesday, April 4.

The show kicks off at around 11 p.m. and will be hosted by the Pattaya Mail’s own Dr Iain Corness. I might add that the good medico will also be doubling up as one of the judges, a task that he doubtless accepted under duress, although I’m certain he will find himself rising to the occasion.

The Planet Rock ogling den has really come along in leaps and bounds in recent times and ranks as one of the better party places in town with management constantly looking for new and innovative ideas. The Miss Songkran contest has been billed as ‘a wet and wild affair’, just the thing to liven up a quiet Wednesday evening for those who are normally lodged in front of the giggle box with a cup of cocoa in hand.

In the Boozers: The Asylum boozer (Soi Chaiyapoom, aka Chockapom) is a bar that caters to those with eclectic tastes (whatever that means). Discmaster Rob has decided that he wants to give his extensive record collection a real workout, so he has introduced a theme for each night of the week, featuring different styles of music for your listening pleasure. The vinyl starts revolving at around 7 p.m. and goes on until midnight.

Monday nights are Dub and Reggae, Tuesday he plays Blues and Jazz, Wednesday it’s Ska n Dub while Thursday he cranks up the volume with Rock and Metal. Friday is Dance music night and then on Saturday, he goes all Punk and Retro. Sunday night it’s ‘anything goes’ (hopefully this refers primarily to the music).

Every Friday night from around 8 p.m. the bar serves up free Indian nosh like curry, chicken tikka and roti’s (whatever they are). No, balloon chasers are not welcome.

There’s a playground for children located at the side of the bar with swings and see saws; please note, I said ‘children’s playground’. Carlsberg Draught is at 40 baht in Happy Hour (from Midday until 2 p.m.) or just 50 baht at other times. Just look for the Welsh flag hanging in the breeze (that’s the one with a red dragon-like creature which looks like it stepped on the unwelcome droppings of an oversized baboon).

For the Hungry: The Pizza Service (South Pattaya Road, just before the junction with Third Road) has been operational for just over a year now and has slowly but surely built a bit of a following with the thin and crispy brigade. They are the only pizza place offering a free delivery service 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Pizza’s start at 160 baht and with Songkran about to rear its wet and powdery head, I’m tipping they’ll do plenty of business among those foreigners who adopt a siege mentality during the eight or nine days of water-borne madness. For those who want to contact Pizza Service just telephone (038) 411 094. Delivery time depends on where you happen to live, but it’s generally around 20 minutes or so.

What kind of ball skills? The Spicy Girls Too ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) recently decided to try something a little innovative by putting their dancing maidens in short, tight football shirts on Saturday and Sunday nights. Unfortunately, the new uniforms didn’t quite make it in the sensuous stakes and the head honchos in the den have decided to go back to the tried and tested bikini formula. Nevertheless, it’s well worth a visit as the place has good atmosphere, reasonable music and the dancing maidens are generally quite friendly and upbeat.

For the expanding waistline: The Amor munching den, situated in Pattayaland Soi 3, just a few doors up from the Cafe New Orleans noshery, has always had a reputation for fine cuisine but being a cultural Neanderthal, I only recently made the effort of finding out what all the fuss was about.

Run by Richard Burk, who in a past life held sway over the Dusit Resort, the noshery exudes class and style but the piece de resistance (and my piece of resistance was definitely lacking) is the chocolate fudge cake. I will confess to being a chocaholic (as well other things ending in holic) so this was the real reason I went to the feed bin. The mouthwatering dinner was just a front for the dessert.

A slice, and it is elegant sufficiency in my book, will set you back 90 baht, but it’s worth every satang and if you’re really good, Uncle Richard might just let you lick the bowl.

My e-mail address is: [email protected]

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Guide to buying a large dog: German Shepherd

by C. Schloemer

Good points: devoted to owner, excellent worker/herder, favoured for obedience trials, protective

Take heed: tendency to over guard, not a lap dog, but a worker that needs a task in life

The German Shepherd has one of the largest followings in the world. It is also a breed which arouses strong emotions in the public. They either worship the German Shepherd or truly dislike the breed. If a smaller breed takes a nip out the postman’s trousers, the misdeed may go unreported. But if a German Shepherd is involved, there is likely to be newspaper headlines blaring: “German Shepherd Savages Postman”. This emotive response may come partly from the breed’s history of tasks it has been trained to perform, and partly from misinformation.

The German Shepherd is a highly intelligent breed, debatably the most courageous. Dobermans have been used in all of the same guard, police and military tasks that the German Shepherds work in. However, in the USA, the Doberman has been replaced in certain types of work. American police and military dog handlers have found that after experience in the field, the Doberman will sometimes refuse to attack on command if the opponent has a gun. The Doberman breed may possess such high intelligence that it senses when it cannot win in a combative situation. The German Shepherd will usually obey a command which the Doberman might refuse. Not because it lacks intelligence, but because of its heroic courage.

German Shepherds have fought bravely and many have lost their lives in two World Wars. They are still the most favoured to perform jobs in police and military situations. They are a popular guard dog and are still among the most favoured for use as seeing eye dogs for the blind. If this breed has a drawback, it may be that it can become over protective and may menace a stranger at the gate. It can also turn nasty if confined and sheer boredom sets in. This dog should not be neglected. The German Shepherd needs a job, whether it is in the ring, on the farm, or in public service. It makes a fine herding animal and is a certain winner in obedience trials.

Size: The ideal height from highest point of the shoulders is 56-61 cm for bitches; 61-66 cm for dogs. The proportion of length to height varies between 10.9 and 10.8 cm.

Exercise: This breed needs plenty of exercise, both free running and on the lead. The German Shepherd will excel at the local dog training club or obedience school. He will be sent and retrieve. Remember, these dogs are used as “sniffer” dogs for illegal drugs and to find black boxes after airline crashes. Obedience training, even as a family pet, is essential for this breed.

Grooming: Daily brushing is recommend.

Origin and history: The German Shepherd is attributed by some to the Bronze Age wolf. This is probably an unfortunate suggestion in that it suggests wolf-like traits in the breed. Certainly around the 7th Century AD, a sheepdog of this type existed in Germany. This dog had a lighter coat. But by the 16th Century, its coat had darkened. The breed was first exhibited at a dog show in Hanover in 1882. A German dog fancier named Stephanitz did much to improve its temperament and physical appearance. The German Shepherd was first introduced into Britain following the First World War by a small band of dedicated fanciers who had seen the breed working in Germany. As the breed had come from Alcace, it became known in the UK as the Alsatian. Only in 1971 did the British Kennel Club agree to the breed being known once more as the German Shepherd.

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Shaman’s Rattle: Alcohol Recovery (Part 2)

by Marion

The four forms of DIY non-institutionalized recovery from alcohol are:

1. Through a private therapist
2. With the help of a self-help support group
3. As a bottomed out Instant decision
4. Through a “maturing out process”

Seeing a private therapist?

If you are fortunate to locate a counsellor or psychologist who is practical and supportive and doesn’t regress into the time consuming, “When did you first start hating your horse” approach, then counselling can be an invaluable, effective recovery tool. A sympathetic counsellor can be very effective in pointing out the flawed thinking that is involved in addictive behaviours. People who are compelled to take excessive amounts of alcohol or drugs or cigarettes, in spite of the health and social consequences (no matter what they label themselves), have a problem with life and living and coping. A trained therapist may be of great help in suggesting ways for a more manageable way of life. A doctor, a priest, a minister or a monk, anyone who is non-judgmental and able to reflectively listen, will be able to be of immense help in showing the way.

Self help support group

Self help support groups encourage their members to see their problems as just that - problems, and not to build their identities around the problem. Yeeha! It is too easy to say, “Hey I’m an alcoholic, drug addict or whatever,” and make that an excuse to behave in an irresponsible rat bag way. Self help support programmes provide temporary help and not life long dependence. They encourage personal autonomy and promote a mental health approach to recovery. Rational - emotive therapy (and there are some excellent books on it written by D. E Ellis), together with transactional analysis and reality therapy are not just airy-fairy theories but behavioral approaches that develop mental health and personal independence. Granted, it may be difficult to locate such enlightened groups here; however, in the interim the recommended book, “Problem Drinkers - Guided Self Change Treatment” may be an invaluable help. This book describes a tested, motivationally based treatment specifically designed for problem drinkers. The treatment is brief and highly cost effective, and the procedures practical and easily implemented.

Do you really want to go the bottomed out route?

These are extremely sobering pertinent facts from Jack Trimpey, “The Small Book”:

“Persistent use of intoxicants impairs your ability to think, and even though you are intelligent and seem to understand what you read you may fail to have awareness of your own addictive thinking. In order to hear your mental voices that lead you to drink you must stop drinking and at least intend to stay stopped.

“When the pain and the losses caused by your habit exceed the pleasure you get from it you will be ready to quit. When you have suffered enough you will finally quit. If you really want to stop drinking you can quit right now and you know it. There is nothing to stop you from doing so. Quitting alcohol or drugs is simply a matter of making a decision and then sticking to it by stubbornly refusing to indulge.”

Who wants to hit rock bottom, derelict, skid row, with no friend or family or home? As they say in the classics, “It is better to be three steps away from hell and walking away then 100 miles away and running towards!”

Maturing out?

Maturing out is nothing to do with age. Or doing nothing at all and time will fix.

It is a process of assessing where you stand in life and what a particular habit means to you and what it does to you and others as well. It is setting realistic goals for change, based on your personal resources and values. You must strengthen your life as you strive to change your habit, and creating environments for yourself and others that make addiction both unnecessary and undesirable.

Be your own tailor

These four DIY approaches can be designed to your own personal need just by using a little common sense. There are other options to institutional help which will always have a place; however, it is not the only road to go. In the words of Vince Fox, “Addictions damage your best friend - you - and they always harm others.” No-one lives in a vacuum. “People who maintain their addictive habits tend to be selfish and are often unaware that their lifestyles have a truly rotten effect on their spouses, friends, employers, employees, and families. You have just read about several ways out of the mess you are in. Pick the one that suits you - and knock it off.”

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The Message In The Moon: Sun in Aries/Moon in Taurus: The Fortune Hunter

by Anchalee Kaewmanee

The energy and enthusiasm of this sun and moon combination is highly focused and grounded by a practical and secure emotional nature. These individuals project a charming aura of self-worth and inner calm. It is true that they may not have the flair and excessive energy of their fellow Ariens, for the fire of their Sun sign is grounded by the Taurus earth provided in the Moon sign. They do, however, have the patience, caution, and most of all, the common sense to assure the success which they crave.

Speech is easy and graceful in this particular combination; these people will measure their words carefully, which enhances their salesmanship. Ambition is very pronounced here. Personal magnetic charm and powers of persuasion are hallmarks of this combination, which uses these attributes to fulfill dreams and goals. Perhaps a little more slowly than a typical Aries fire driven personality, but nonetheless, this person is slated for high achievement. Committed to action and the work ethic, material security will be a primary concern. The underlying sensual nature which exists here, will make comfort, good food, and pleasure and luxury all top priorities.

An eye for money management will always assure this Sun-Moon sign has all of the good things in life. Unfortunately, a silent drive for material acquisition could become so all-consuming as to tip some personalities off balance. People with this propensity must strive to search for some spiritual and esoteric enhancement to their characters, in order that they may gain enrichment in other areas other than the purely physical.

Few signs can match this group of individuals for sheer determination and perseverance. Basically kind and sympathetic, they never have to resort to cruel or ruthless behavior to attain their goals. But, like most natives born into this combination, it is nearly impossible to prove them wrong.

A little advice to this Sun-Moon sign is in order. It is true that the Aries-Taurus is a bastion of common sense and deep convictions, it may prove politic occasionally to bend a little and release that tight grip on some fixed biases. Learning to become a bit more flexible to changing times and different viewpoints could prove a happy learning experience. The ability to adapt and compromise can make a closed mind open to many wonderful possibilities.

Many people in this category have strong artistic and creative inclinations. Luckily, they are in possession of the concentration and discipline which is required to master the creative mediums. Although individuals in this group may be magnetically drawn into business, they also may be harboring a secret ambition to work in the arts. But that Moon in Taurus might prevent them from embarking on what they might regard as a shaky career. They don’t want to jeopardize their security, even if in the end, the result might prove more edifying.

The challenge for these personalities will be to face up to their fears which keep them from fulfilling a gifted potential and a more rewarding lifestyle. This combination already suggests financial security in most choices of career, so perhaps they should stop worrying so much about money and pursue that which makes them most happy. Perhaps the money will follow along by itself when the need to create is satisfied.

The Aries-Taurus has a highly sensual nature which must be attended to in order to feel that sense of well-being. They are not a very experimental group, that is certain. So they need to seek endurance and stability in chosen partnerships, whether it is marriage or lasting friendships. Often inflexible and stubborn in their love lives, some will be prone to jealous rages. Though highly fluent and expressive when urged to communicate, if left to their own devices, they tend to bottle up their feelings until they blow their tops in temper tantrums. It is wise for these people to acknowledge that it will benefit them immensely if they learn to share their thoughts and desires freely and with a little more abandon. This new way of expression can release suppressed anxiety and others around them will come to a new understanding of what makes this combination tick.

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