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  COLUMNS

HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:
 
Family Money: Establishing Trust
 
Successfully Yours: Matti Harnphanich
 
Snap Shots: How to get rid of rotten backgrounds
  
Modern Medicine: Laughter really is the best medicine

Heart to Heart with Hillary
 
Grapevine

Dining Out: Simpatia - an Italian experience
 
Animal Crackers: Iguana iguana = an Iguana!
 
Down The Iron Road: The Great Western Railway’s Diesel Railcars
 
Social Commentary by Khai Khem
 
The Computer Doctor
 
Sea Worlds
 
Forgotten Classics
 
Shaman’s Rattle
 
Women’s World
 
Nightmarch
 
Guide to buying a large dog
 
Message In The Moon

Family Money: Establishing Trust

By Leslie Wright

Many expatriates living in Thailand have entered into ‘Spring-Autumn’ relationships. There’s nothing wrong with this, so long as their financial planning has been properly considered.

For instance, what happens when you die? If you have young children, have you made adequate provision for your new family’s support? And making a Will is by no means the end of the story. Sometimes it’s only the start.

Spring-Autumn relationships

I have come across numerous cases of ‘Spring-Autumn’ relationships that have been resented by family members from an earlier marriage. Sometimes the children resent their father’s “abandonment” of their mother; sometimes the mother herself feels great resentment at having been “replaced” by someone half her age.

The poet’s oft-misquoted statement, “Hell hath no fury like a woman spurned,” sums up this situation rather neatly.

When you die, your former family can, if they have a mind to, quite easily contest the Will you made leaving everything to your new spouse and family.

If you have never entered into a formal marriage with your new partner - which many Pattaya residents have not - then the family “back home” has an even stronger case for contesting what in their eyes is an unreasonable Will, leaving the bulk of your assets to the “floozy”, to their cost and detriment.

Protecting the interests of your new family is of course a vital aspect of sound financial planning. It is surprising how few have really thought it through, or the ramifications of the former family potentially taking exception to your wishes.

Another aspect that should be considered is the ability of your new partner to manage the assets you leave her (or him, as the case may be). Thai families are very close-knit, and it is not unknown for all the family members to flock round the widow with all sorts of wonderful ideas on how to divide up the late-husband’s assets amongst them.

How can you protect against this happening? Or ensure your young family will have a good education up to international standards once you’re gone?

The answer is actually quite easy. Place your investment assets into an offshore trust.

Assets held in trust do not have to go through probate, so there’s no inheritance tax to pay.

Assets held in trust cannot be frittered away on someone’s whim or fancy.

Even if your new wife (or boyfriend) is a principal beneficiary, restrictions can, if you wish, be placed on how much of the principal can be accessed; and limits can be placed even on the income derived there from.

You can, with a properly executed trust, keep quite a tight rein on the purse strings even after you’ve departed this life.

Assets held in trust will be distributed by the trustees exactly how you had specified; and if properly established in the first place, cannot be effectively contested in court. (Resentful family members who may have been excluded may try, but contesting a properly-established trust is a lot more difficult than contesting a Will, and probably won’t succeed.)

Myths & legends

A lot of myths surround trusts. These have largely arisen through ignorance of how trusts work; and like most things that people don’t understand, create fear.

The most common myth is that trusts are only for the super-rich, and not available to ‘ordinary folk’.

Not true. A trust can be used to protect most transferable assets, and are much less expensive to establish and maintain than most people imagine - typically only a few hundred pounds a year.

Of course, the costs will vary depending on the number of assets, their complexity, and the amount of administration required of the trustees.

Another common myth is that any and all assets may be placed into trust. While in theory that is true, it is only practical (and cost-effective) to place liquid or realisable assets into trust.

Overseas property - in Thailand for instance - would be very difficult to transfer into an offshore trust. (Although the shares of a company which owns the property could be placed into a trust.)

Typically, one would consider transferring investments such as shares, bonds, and offshore investment instruments (unit trusts, unit-linked insurance policies, and the like) into an offshore trust. But not the car or the house, unless these formed assets of a company, the shares of which were placed in trust.

Another myth is that once you place assets into a trust, you can never get at them.

Not so. You can be a principal beneficiary of a trust throughout your lifetime, so you could draw down an income for life from the trust, and access your capital at any time you might need some.

You as Settlor and principal beneficiary simply write a letter to the trustees requesting them “to consider” (to use the correct phrase) sending X amount of money to your bank account. They will normally act upon this request within a few days.

Yet another myth is that trusts enable you to escape all taxes. That is not necessarily so.

Inheritance tax may well be avoided, inasmuch as you have relinquished legal ownership of the assets into the trust when you established it. Those assets therefore continue as assets of the trust after you die, so no probate problems are encountered, and no inheritance tax becomes due.

However, if the beneficiaries receive either capital or income from the trust, they may well have a liability to tax, dependent upon their residence at the time they receive benefits from the trust.

For instance, UK legislation has been amended in recent years regarding onshore residents benefiting from offshore trusts, so if you are a UK resident, you are liable to tax on amounts received from an offshore trust. I therefore don’t normally recommend establishing a trust if the Settlor or principal beneficiary is UK resident.

However, one type of trust that is useful for UK-resident wives & children of offshore residents is the Power of Appointment Trust. This allows you access to the capital throughout your lifetime, but makes your spouse the default beneficiary whereby the investments held in trust are transferred from your estate to hers, and are thereby exempt from inheritance tax under current legislation.

Potential beneficiaries are the children and other relatives. About six months after establishing the trust, the trustees execute a deed appointing your children (or grandchildren) as beneficiaries. If your spouse survives seven years from this date, the investment will not form part of her estate for inheritance tax, so passes to the children tax exempt.

While US citizens can inherit assets from an offshore trust without any immediate inheritance tax liability, they will thereafter have to pay tax on the income derived from any assets they receive from an offshore trust.

Protection from third parties

A fear that many international investors have is that their assets may be frozen or seized by a government. This fear is especially prevalent in those regimes which are politically unstable.

Placing their accumulated assets into an offshore discretionary trust in a financially & politically stable regime (such as the Isle of Man or Guernsey) protects the trust beneficiaries from, for example, exchange control restrictions, capital taxes, and other government restrictions.

Discretionary Trusts have another benefit for those citizens of common-law countries where forced heirship rules apply (such as France, Spain & the Philippines), whereby the trustees would distribute the trust fund according to your wishes, rather than the laws of the country in which those people reside. This enables you to retain control over which family members get what, rather than this being dictated by the government.

This aspect can be taken further to exclude certain family members, or restrict their access to your capital - even after you’re dead.

Such exclusions or restrictions in a Will could easily be contested in court, and the aggrieved heir might well succeed in having your Will declared invalid.

This would be very much more difficult to do with assets held in trust with a legitimate, well-established trust company.

I even had one rather bizarre case where the original owner of the assets - the Settlor of the trust - wanted his younger son not to have access to any of the father’s capital unless the son changed his lifestyle and stopped wearing women’s clothes.

The trustees accepted this stipulation without question - although to enforce it, they would of course have to check up frequently on the son’s lifestyle, and this could prove expensive to the trust. But the father’s wishes would be followed by the trustees, and the son couldn’t get at the money unless he followed those wishes.

Another benefit of trusts is of course tax efficiency. If established in an offshore regime, there would be no capital gains tax or income tax applied to the investments held in trust.

As you are no longer the legal owner of those assets, the investment may not be taxable in the country you live in.

Expatriate residents of Thailand may draw down an income from any overseas investments (whether in trust or not) without any tax liability in Thailand, so this is a minor consideration for the Pattaya expatriate community.

But protecting their new spouse, life partner or young family against inheritance tax, potential financial mismanagement, greedy relatives, estranged wives and/or resentful children, are concerns that many expatriate residents of Pattaya should consider. And placing their overseas assets into one form of trust or another (with expert professional guidance I must emphasise) will give them peace of mind and continuity, in a simple and cost-effective manner.

Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments. If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, contact Leslie directly by fax on (038) 232522 or e-mail [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.

Editor’s note: Leslie sometimes receives e-mails to which he is unable to respond due to the sender’s automatic return address being incorrect. If you have sent him an e-mail to which you have not received a reply, this may be why. To ensure his prompt response to your enquiry, please include your complete return e-mail address, or a contact phone/fax number.

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Successfully Yours: Matti Harnphanich

By Mirin MacCarthy

Matti Harnphanich is the man with the Midas touch; everything he touches turns to gold. It is no accident that he named his new hotel the Success Inn. “If I do anything I succeed,” he said disarmingly.

Matti has an amazing welcoming presence, a regal bearing, even in a tee shirt, and a more than passing resemblance to Yul Brynner. He appears to be twenty years younger than his true age and carries himself with the distinctive grace of someone who practices martial arts or Tai Chi, although he does not do either. He attributes his fit appearance to his practice of jogging and weight lifting. “I don’t smoke and I don’t drink so it is easy to stay healthy,” he said with a laugh.

He is proudly Chinese-Thai and was born in Bangkok into a wealthy family of five other brothers and sisters. His parents owned lumber and a then a rice mill. “My early family life was sanuk; I did my schooling in Bangkok then I went to Detroit, Michigan in America and studied Business Administration.”

He enjoyed Michigan and stayed there for thirty-seven years, was married and divorced and has two sons living there. “My wife was an original American Hillbilly,” he laughed. The most striking characteristic of Matti is his beaming happiness, sparkling sense of humour and his love of humanity. He has the rare gift of making everyone who approaches him feel valued and welcomed.

His wealth and success have not isolated him. When asked if he had inherited his obvious sense of humour he replied simply, “No, I think the way I lived in the States made me a better person. I see things more clearly because of it. In Thailand people don’t always honour what they say. One of the things I have learnt is that everything you do returns to you. I love people and people love me back, I hate people and people hate me back, if I do good things they return to me.”

That attitude alone I believe is the real reason behind Matti’s success, yet he smilingly refutes this. “Everything I have my hand on I make sure I achieve the goal. That is what success means to me. I am doing new things all the time. It is most important to be honest and to treat people with equal opportunity no matter whether they are Farang or Thai. I never go back on my word.”

Matti is the owner and developer of the Pattaya Bazaar shopping centre opposite the Dolphin roundabout. “I don’t take advantage of people,” he continued, “In the low season I drop my rent for two months. In the bad times I drop the rent too.”

Always working, Matti must have boundless energy, as he has thirty-five bungalows in Naklua that he is slowly renovating himself. This is in addition to the 66 room Success Inn Hotel which he has just opened and a 120-room condotel ‘Sea and Sand’ in Jomtien Beach that is on the drawing board.

Matti returned to Pattaya about four years ago after he retired from property development in Michigan. The property on North Road was owned by his parents and had been vacant for eight or nine years. “I dusted it off and developed it. It had a family of security guards who were doing nothing - just sleeping, so I fired them. One of the areas was full of heavy old antique furniture but it was full of termites. I could not throw it away because there is nowhere to put it. So I put it all on the footpath and put a price tag of 200 baht on everything and people came from miles and took it away. I hired three more people as security guards and they cleaned the place from top to bottom. It cost me 18 thousand baht to build each shop unit and I put a sign up to rent each shop for 20 thousand baht. People just came and wanted them - I opened ten shops at a time so I built the shops for nothing. I put the money back in the business. I don’t take it for myself. When I hire staff I say to them it is enough if you are honest and sincere, you don’t need education. Most of them cannot speak English when they start but I teach them. You only need 60 sentences to be able to work in a hotel.”

The important values to Matti, he said without hesitation, are to “Help other people who have no job. Be good to people, be honest, treat people the same as yourself. That is what I teach my sons.”

His advice to other would be businessmen is: “Listen to the customer, listen to what they want. The customer always comes first. Do not try to take advantage of the people.”

Obviously a success, why is he so tirelessly working, what motivates him? He laughed. “I enjoy it and friends just ask me to do things.” Truly a charismatic man, he projects loving kindness to everyone and it shows.

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Snap Shots: How to get rid of rotten backgrounds

by Harry Flashman

If there is anything guaranteed to kill an otherwise good photo, it is a cluttered, “busy’ background. Remembering that the gentle art of photography is to make the subject of the shot the “hero” then it is up to you to find the correct techniques to make that possible.

Take a look at the two photographs with this week’s article. The shot on the left shows a young girl sitting in a row of chairs, with an extremely “busy’ and distracting background. On the other hand, the shot on the right shows the same girl sitting on the same row of chairs, but the background has degenerated into a blur of shapes. There is only one hero in this shot - the girl. The fact that these shots were taken less than 30 seconds apart, by the same photographer, using the same camera, shows that the control of Depth of Field is possible. It is not hit or miss.

One of the best techniques to master is the one that allows you to control the Depth of Field in any photograph. Depth of Field is merely the area between the foreground and the background in any photograph which has acceptable “sharpness”. To isolate your subject in a snapshot you should try and get the sharpness to begin just before your subject and end just behind the subject, your “hero”.

Now when selecting the point you focus on (with a portrait you should focus on the eyes) the Depth of Field will stretch in distance one third forward and two thirds back. It is this distance which is in your control and is done by manipulation of the aperture you shoot at. It’s the old “f stop” numbers again.

Most cameras will allow you to select between f22 and f2.8. For some weird reason (which can be explained by optical physics) the larger the number, the smaller the hole or aperture, the light comes through and conversely, the smaller the number, the larger the hole. More simply stated, starting at f22 (small hole), the aperture progressively gets larger as you come down to f 2.8. Each “click” as you rotate the lens barrel represents one “f stop” and you will come down from f22 to f16, to f11, f8, f5.6, f4 and finally f2.8.

Now it is the size of the aperture that governs Depth of Field. Around f22, the smallest aperture hole, there is great depth of field, while at f2.8 the largest aperture hole, there is very shallow Depth of Field. Memorize f22 equals maximum DOF, while f2.8 equals minimum DOF and you are now set to manipulate your photographs any way you want.

When you want to take a portrait, focus on the eyes and set a wide aperture - generally around f4 is satisfactory. You will get a Depth of Field, with a standard lens, and shooting about 2 metres from the subject, which will extend from around 200 mm in front to 400 mm behind. Anything further away will be gloriously out of focus, isolating your portrait subject from any distracting background, just like the photograph on the right.

Conversely, if you want to shoot a landscape, you should focus on a point one third in towards the furthest away section of the photograph and set the aperture to the smallest hole possible, which for most cameras will be around f22. Again, made simple - if the furthest point is 1000 metres away, then focus on a point about 300 metres away. With the one third forward and two thirds back rule, you will get a good DOF from the foreground, right the way through to 1000 metres in the distance. Simple, isn’t it, after you understand the basic principles of the optical laws.

If you have an “Aperture” mode in your camera it is even easier. Select the aperture mode first, then select the f stop to give you shallow DOF or deep DOF and the camera will adjust the shutter speed to suit. Distracting backgrounds are now a thing of the past!

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Modern Medicine: Laughter really is the best medicine

by Dr Iain Corness

We medicos spend so much time dealing with the “down” side of life, that it is easy to forget the “up” side. Likewise, plenty of medical research goes into looking at the problems of fracturing a bone, but little is done towards researching the effects of the funny bone.

In fact, one reviewer found that in the last 30 years there have been over 170,000 medical articles published on pain, 100,000 on depression and 46,000 on anxiety, while in that same time frame there has only been 1,500 on pleasure, 1,100 on happiness and 700 on laughter and joy. Miserable lot, aren’t we?

However, despite the lack of articles, there has been some research done into what happiness appears to be related to. The concept that “I will be happy when I win the lottery”, or “When I get married”, or “When I get divorced” is not backed up by the research. The evidence would suggest that rather than being related to external circumstances, happiness is a personal internal trait of personality factors related to high self esteem, optimism and extroversion.

This being the case, you would be far better off by changing your attitude to your circumstances than you are in spending time and effort attempting to change your circumstances. Read that sentence again - it’s actually quite deep, and students of meditation and Eastern religions will find it particularly appropriate.

So what benefits should one expect from a raise in the happiness level? Actually, quite a lot. Let’s look at some of the things we can measure. First off, happy people live longer - fact! Happiness actually reduces pain and improves the pain threshold - fact. Laughter reduces stress hormones like cortisol - fact! Chuckling improves your immunity - fact! It really does! Measurement of immune globulins shows they are increased and white cell count goes up as well.

We have also shown that happy, humorous Mums have raised levels of immune globulins in the breast milk and this results in a lower incidence of Upper Respiratory Tract Infections in both mother and baby. Now that’s a positive step, isn’t it?

Since happiness reduces stress hormone levels, happy people get less asthma and decreased outbreaks of arthritis. It has even been shown that reducing stress hormones and inducing hormones associated with relaxation and positive effects helps in the quality of life for cancer patients and even prolongs cancer survival.

Interestingly, a few universities in the world are now introducing humorous options for medical students during their training, and not before time. I was radical in my day when I would say to patients with chronic diseases, for which there was no cure, “I can’t fix the illness, but I can give you a couple of jokes.” They left the surgery with the ailment unchanged - but they felt better. And isn’t that what it’s all about?

So here’s your joke this week - A doctor came out from the examination room and said to the patient’s wife, “I don’t like the look of your husband.” She replied, “Neither do I, but he’s quite handy around the house.” Go on, laugh! It’s good for you.

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Dear Hillary,

Finally it’s my turn to write in to your eh, well, let’s call it ‘colourful column’, on a topic close to my heart: small female breasts. Please do not despair, all you suffering sweethearts out there with a more modest frontal topography. You see, quite a few men actually hate huge hooters, and prefer the small, firm and gravity-defying variety seen in abundance here in Thailand. So there you go ladies, chin up, and hands off padded bras and silicone-injectors now, please!

Your humble servant,

Henry H. Hooter (jr.)

Dear humble servant Henry H. Hooter (jr.),

I’m not sure just how humble you really are, you sound just a little smug to me, but you are certainly one for the junior hooters, aren’t you. The name says it all I suppose. But I think you are just trying to make poor old Hillary feel better after Noi’s and Two Fried Eggs’ letters (Pattaya Mail Vol IX number 5) aren’t you, Petal? I’m glad small boobies are close to your heart, my own small ones are close to my heart too, situated a little in front and one on each side, actually.

Dear Hillary,

We were hoping you could point us in the right direction and let us know if there are any stores in Pattaya that sell adult “toys”. While our husbands are out bell ringing and being “Butterflies”, we would like to take matters into our own hands so-to-speak and do a little bell ringing of our own. Of course Hillary, you have an open invitation to join our Friday evening social anytime!

The Pattaya Spice Girls

Dear Pattaya Spice Girls,

Our very own Spice Girls! What should we call you? We’ve had Posh, Sporty, Scary, Ginger and Baby - so I suppose you lot will be Playful, Party, Hairy, Chilli and Maybe. In regards to your (I am sure) very genuine question, you can get ladies toys at many “stores” in Pattaya. Most of these are congregated in Soi Pattayaland 3 and double as go-go bars in the evenings. Thank you for the Friday night invitation, but on Fridays Hillary joins other seekers of the truth for crochet evenings. But of course, if there is champagne and chocolates in the offing, I could put the crochet hook away for one night.

Dear Hillary,

Our driver had an accident with our car, which he took without our permission one night, and was taken into custody by the police. Apparently he has to stay in jail until there is settlement and agreement between our insurance company and the motorcycle he crashed into. Is this the usual in these instances or should we have intervened?

Perplexed

Dear Perplexed,

Firstly, never intervene, no matter how well intentioned that intervention might be. Thai law grinds along in its own sweet way, without any need for help from others. Just take the advice of a good and trusted Thai lawyer. Your husband’s work will be able to supply you some names. Unfortunately, you will be without the car for some time, but that’s just tough luck, I’m afraid. Next time make sure your driver can’t get the keys.

Dear Hillary,

I have been watching the paraflyers along Jomtien Beach, going along behind the speed boats. I would like to try, but am just a little afraid. Do they have a good safety record, and is there any insurance, compensation or something like that if there was an accident? What suggestions do you have for a nervous first-time flyer?

Amy

Dear Amy,

To Hillary’s knowledge, none have come down in the wrong place all week. A colleague once asked what would happen if the rope broke and he was informed, “In that case, we give you your money back.” Actually, that is probably the worst that could happen - and, according to Newton’s Law, you will get down to earth again no matter what the eventualities, so have no fear. Take a camera up with you, preferably one of the little disposable ones, and get as many photographs as you can. It will keep you from screaming and you might get some good snaps as well. Good luck. And wear swimmers, Petal.

Dear Hillary,

My husband didn’t send me any roses for Valentines Day. He didn’t take me out to dinner. He didn’t even give me a Valentines Day kiss. Do you think this was just forgetfulness on his part, or do you think it was deliberate, Hillary?

Aggrieved

Dear Aggrieved,

It is hard to miss St. Valentines Day as every hotel was pushing their dinners and flower sellers were making their usual huge profit, so it would be hard to imagine he managed to go through the entire day and miss it completely. But it could have been worse. He could have sent you the rose stems with no roses on them. I’m sorry Aggy, but if your husband chose to ignore Valentines Day, perhaps you should talk to him about it, not Hillary. After all, would I know if he is just a slob, or an unrequited romantic? However, maybe he is the one who sent Hillary the roses and chocolates. Thank you Poppet, Hillary just loves Hershey’s Kisses.

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GRAPEVINE

Holy soak

A Russian is being urgently sought after enticing other tourists into his hotel room to take a warm, soapy bath containing (so he said) a secret ingredient able to wash away sins, faults and bad thoughts. The Muscovite, known locally as Ivan The Healer, also claimed to be a royal descendant of the last czar Nicholas. This may have been a shrewd ploy to put na๏ve people off the scent and conceal his real intentions. One of Ivan’s victims explained that he felt drowsy after sitting in the bathtub and inhaling a strong smoky substance. When he woke up, his wallet and jewelry were missing. Tourists are being warned not to get into conversation with Russians who talk nonsense.

Gas scam

Don’t be caught out by a filling station ruse which is said to be gaining popularity in Pattaya. You are waved into a pre-selected lane and asked immediately how much you want. Filling commences before you have chance to get out of your car. If you ask for, say, 300 baht worth, the meter will certainly show that amount as you hand over the cash. So where’s the scam? The meter was in reality already registering, say, 60 baht before filling commenced. This sum was not deleted after the previous customer, probably a motorbike driver, had his tank filled. Always make sure the meter is set at zero before your vehicle receives its liquid fix.

Veggies galore

Recent writers to the Readers’ Letters page of this newspaper have bemoaned the lack of vegetarian food in Pattaya restaurants. True, they should certainly start off at the Five Stars Restaurant on Pattaya South Road just by the traffic lights with Third Road. But here are some more ideas. Somsak’s Thai restaurant, in soi one, has lots of dishes without meat or fish and, as an added bonus, the owner speaks excellent English. Or you could try Greg’s on Second Road and ask for the roast beef dinner, but without the meat. That way you get an extra delicious selection of vegetables including the cauliflower cheese. The Amor Restaurant, between Pattayaland sois two and three, actually highlights vegetarian options on the extensive menu. And they can deal with vegans also! Finally, any of Pattaya’s Indian restaurants will not even blink at vegetarian customers. Try the Ali Baba in Central Road where many vegetarian Indian nationals dine.

Absolutely the best

Talking of food, opinions are divided whether the Saturday buffet at the Royal Cliff is better than that at the Dusit Resort. Both will cost you around the same - 1000 baht or so with a drink. Both have a tremendous variety of hors d’oeuvres, main dishes and desserts. For example there’s salmon, steaks grilled to order, authentic Thai dishes, pasta in all shapes and sizes, not to mention the most yummy cakes and pastries you could ever hope to meet. It’s a damn close run thing, but Royal Cliff may just have the edge. The music there is softer and staff are extra, extra conscious of the problem with all buffets - hot food becoming less attractive if left too long unattended in the tureens. But Royal Cliff and Dusit both offer a very fine dining experience every Saturday evening. Try them both and decide for yourself but, if possible, book in advance.

Taking the mobile plunge

Until recently, Pattaya based farangs found it impossible to obtain an operational mobile phone unless they had a work permit. The big Thai companies, such as AEC, took the view that you might abscond and leave a huge bill unpaid. Things are different now. Farangs can obtain a prepaid SIM card which allows them to make calls up to the cash limit invested, say 500 baht. But you have to shop around for the best deal. Some companies insist on a high monthly turnover of calls. If you don’t make that many, your SIM card may expire even though you have cash in hand. You will probably have to restrict your dialing to Thailand as international calls are usually barred. Or you may have to pay a high deposit to get started. One advantage of the prepaid mobiles is that if you do happen to have them stolen, the advantage to the thief is somewhat more restricted than it used to be.

Legal eagle

GD asks what you must do, if anything, after you have set up a Thai - farang company to buy a house and have moved in safe and sound. The first thing to notice is that you have not “bought” anything. Foreigners still can’t own, as opposed to lease, small holdings (i.e. land) and the registration is in the name of the company, even if the farang is managing director. It’s important that you visit your lawyer every year to renew the company papers and pay the fees. If you neglect to do this, the company may fall legally into disuse and you could lose your claim or find it impossible to sell later on. Keep all receipts and, if possible, insist on keeping the tibean bahn (house registration certificate) in your possession. Finally, invest in house insurance of the most comprehensive kind available. Better to be safe than sorry.

Pattaya tag line

“Just when you think you’ve finally graduated from the Pattaya school of experience, someone thinks up a new course.”

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Dining Out: Simpatia - an Italian experience

by Miss Terry Diner

Be it motor cars, tenors or food, Italians are a passionate race. Franco, the chef and owner of Simpatia, on Pattaya Second Road (opposite Pattayaland 3) is no exception. The Dining Out Team met him for the first time this week and we were warmly greeted and made to feel at home immediately.

Simpatia simply exudes Franco, a Milanese who has worked all over the world, including Switzerland and Brazil, and proudly has his certificate from St. Moritz on the wall. There is a warmth and an eclectic d้cor which is also Franco - the paintings are even all his, done in the mornings because he wants to. There is no need for any other reason.

The restaurant itself is bright and airy, with padded cane chairs and tablecloths on all tables. White ceramic tiles on the floor and one large bay window at the street frontage. And over the music system? Italian tenors, naturally. It was also very noticeable that the vast majority of diners were also Italian.

The menu is comprehensive, without being too extensive. On initial perusal, it was also inexpensive. Commencing with six antipasti (90-420 baht) this covers everything from Parma ham or a shrimp cocktail all the way through to a Bresaola, a dried salted beef from Valtellina.

Next up is pasta (160-240 baht) with eight examples. These are not any old pastas either, but made on the premises by Franco himself. The choices include Penne with gorgonzola and saffron, Tagliatelle alla Bolognese and spaghetti with clams.

There are nine main courses (or should I say Secondi piatti) ranging between 200 and 280 baht. These include fillet steak, scaloppine, piccata and even roast beef.

There are also ten Thai favourites, for those not desirous of Italian cuisine, but for those who do, there are also rotating daily specials, on our day being carpaccio beef, a lasagne or a saltimbocca.

The menu finishes with five cheese plates and desserts, and a couple of pages of beers (80-90 baht) and shorts (around 110 baht) and cocktails at 150 baht. There is also a separate wine list with Italian whites and reds. The whites begin at 1000 baht and the reds from 800. There is also house wine which can be ordered by the glass or carafe. There are some sparklies, including a Veuve Cliquot (no price indicated) and a wonderfully Italian sounding Ferrari Brut for 2,100 baht.

Madame ordered the Scaloppine alla Pizzaiola, while I selected the Scaloppine al limone. Host Franco noted our choices and said he would also bring out a small example of the lasagne daily special. To wash it all down we had some house white, a perfectly quaffable drink to complement the food. It was, of course, Italian.

Madame’s Scaloppine was covered with a beautiful sauce complete with capers, olives and anchovies, while mine had that wonderful “lemony” taste, without being overdone or sickly sweet. Both were considered excellent examples of Italian cuisine.

Then we tried the lasagne. Having had in some restaurants heavy, cloying slabs of lasagne in the past, it came as a fantastic surprise to find that Franco’s Lasagne was smooth, flavoursome and truly “melt in the mouth”. The Lasagne was the dish of the evening in our opinion. If it is on the menu on your night, do try it. You will not be disappointed.

Madame said she had room for a dessert and a chocolate gelati was selected, and it was very rich in chocolate too. A cappuccino was in order and came with delicious biscuits. However, our Italian experience was not quite over. Franco appeared with a bottle of Limoncello, this particular brand being from Naples. I must admit that Miss Terry really does like the sweet and sharp flavour of this after dinner ‘digestif’ and it just topped off a sensational Italian evening.

If you are looking for genuine Italian cuisine, in very pleasant premises and not over the top in price, then we can highly recommend chef Franco’s food and restaurant.

Simpatia Italian Cuisine restaurant, 194/15-16 Pattaya Second Road, opposite Soi Pattayaland 3, tel. 423 949.

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Animal Crackers: Iguana iguana = an Iguana!

by Mirin MacCarthy

Go to any market in Thailand and you are likely to be offered a small green iguana. The scientific name is Iguana iguana and the baby ones you will see are around 300 mm long. What a wonderful and colourful pet! No! It is not!

The statistics on captive Iguanas are appalling. Over 1,000,000 baby iguanas are imported to America each year, and the majority are dead within 2 years. This is in an animal that normally lives for over 20 years in its natural rainforest.

The number one problem in keeping a green iguana is its size. They are worse than puppies that grow into full size dogs. Iguanas will grow over 2 metres long. You just cannot stick a 2 metre long animal in a glass aquarium (left over after the goldfish died last Xmas holidays) and expect it to be a happy little camper.

An animal of that size needs a decent sized enclosure. It makes no difference that it appears to sleep most of the day, iguanas like anything else need to roam around a little, otherwise they get stressed - and stressed animals soon die. You will need an enclosure at least 4 metres long, 2 metres wide and 2 metres high. That’s certainly no aquarium!

What’s in the enclosure is important too. Iguanas need trees to climb upon and sun themselves. They need the sunshine to allow them to absorb vitamins from their food and they need temperatures around 33-35 degrees Celsius. Fortunately that is easy here in tropical Thailand, but in other parts of the globe means special heat sources. Even the base material is important. Wood chips can be toxic and they will try to eat smaller pieces. The best is “Astro-turf” which has to be taken out every couple of days and cleaned.

The next aspect in keeping an iguana is feeding and watering. In the wild, these creatures are herbivores - in other words, they eat plants. They are not meat eaters, and any insects they swallow are accidental or incidental. Their diet is green vegetables. And they eat several varieties of greens. It is no good giving Iggy lettuce every day, Iggy needs several choices to remain a healthy iguana. And it’s also no good giving Iggy cat food - while he may eat it, it will eventually kill him.

Iguanas are also prone to dehydration, which in turn leads to kidney failure, one of the most common causes of premature death. It is no good putting a bowl of water in its cage - iguanas very rarely drink in this way. You must mist the enclosure two to three times a day. And mist Iggy himself as he will absorb water in this way too.

If this is not enough, your little Iguana needs his nails clipped fairly regularly, or else your attempts and getting to know, stroke, handle, cuddle Iggy will result in lacerated forearms. From the best sources I could contact, it usually takes two people. One holds the lizard with both hands, one around the neck and chest area, and the other around the belly area in front of the hind legs. The other person, using a reptile claw clipper then clips off the sharp pointed end on the claw. And lots of luck.

No, green Iguanas may look exotic, but they are not a pet.

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Down The Iron Road: The Great Western Railway’s Diesel Railcars

by John D. Blyth 

In 1934, the Great Western Railway obtained the first of what was to become a highly successful fleet of diesel railcars, forerunners of that vast fleet of diesel ‘multiple unit’ trains which were introduced to British Railways as part of the 1955 Modernization Plan. The car had been built as a works project by the famous makers of London’s buses, AEC, whose works at Southall were alongside the GWR line to the west; it is no surprise that they took an interest, and in due course bought the car.

Nationalized and in ‘Blood and Custard’ livery, No W2OW stands at Cheltenham in 1953.

Seating 69 passengers and running on two bogies, the car had one 130hp diesel engine driving all wheels of one bogie through a fluid fly-wheel and Wilson epicyclic gearbox - a very new device which gave smooth and silent gear changes in an era when this was not usual. The GWR put the car into local service between London and Reading; an instant success, it covered 60,000 miles in its first year of service. Success led to an order for three more cars, similar in appearance, but designed for fast services on cross-country routes. They had two engines with separate transmissions, fewer but better seats, and there was also room for a small buffet. Maximum speed was pushed up from 60 to 75 mph. In the autumn of 1934 they went into service between Cardiff and Birmingham, two round trips a day, with stops at Newport and Gloucester. Local protest soon gained a Cheltenham stop as well, although not much used; this was my home town, and later, duly accompanied by a parent (I was just eleven then), I tried out a diesel train for the first time and was duly impressed. I had the pleasure of a seat with the driver for part of the return run.

Only slightly different externally from the original No. 1, No. 16, brand-new, stands at Southall in AEC’s yard in 1936.

Their limited seating was their undoing, as they could not be coupled together, and at times of peak travel they had to be substituted by a steam train. This type was therefore not perpetuated; now 5 to 16 were of similar technology, but arranged internally for local traffic with no luxuries. No. 17 was again the same technically but had no seats, three pairs of sliding doors either side, and was used in the London area for the quite substantial flows of parcels and mail traffic which passed between many of the stations around London.

No. 18 was a real change, as it was fitted with drawgear and buffers at either end, with equipment for the vacuum brake as well, so that it could haul a single coach; it was used for a time on the Lambourne branch where there was time to transfer this vehicle to the other end for the return trips.

From No. 5 onwards the AEC Company supplied parts but the building was done by the Gloucester Carriage & Wagon Co. - from No 19, the GWR Swindon works took over and built the remainder.

The first car with full buffers and coupling gear, No. 18, with a coach attached.

Although the rest were built by the GWR themselves, a number of important parts, not surprisingly, were supplied by AEC or other specialists.

Based much more on normal railway practice, the later cars had something like normal frames, to take the end-loadings normal with ‘buffered’ stock, also provision for steam heating of attached vehicles, vacuum brakes, which now operated brake blocks on the wheel treads, instead of road-type brake drums, etc. Most obvious, though, was the external ‘square’ appearance, which was supposed to allow a greater floor space than the stylish curves of the early bodywork.

It is also noteworthy that no new cars were built between 1937 and the outbreak of war in September 1939, but No. 19 appeared from Swindon works in 1940, and others were duly completed up to the end of 1941; it may seem odd that units burning short supply diesel fuel were completed at such a time, but it is possible that the materials were on hand when the war started. There were variations, some having a two ratio gear box to allow trailing vehicles to be hauled at a lower sped, whilst others, intended solely for branch line work at lower speeds had a single low ratio only. Most notable were the last four, No.’s 35 to 38, built as single end cars with one driving position only, and intended to be permanently coupled in pairs. The demands of the time ensured that provision was also made for the insertion of an ordinary coach with (it is to be assumed, but never stated) the needed connections to allow the driver to operate all four gear-boxes at the same time, also all throttles, etc. Even then, on the still-operative Cardiff-Birmingham service, the accommodation was not enough, and steam trains were permanently substituted, the diesels being sent where there was less demand. No.17 was another car for parcels traffic.

The original livery was, of course, the historical GWR ‘chocolate and cream’; state ownership turned this into Carmine and cream (or, if you like, ‘blood and custard’), and later still, the overall dark green of the later diesel trains and much local stock as well.

Withdrawal began soon after the war, with one or two that had suffered fire damage. One or two have been preserved, in working order, but all the rest had gone by the end of 1963. They were pioneers, and their fore could have gone either way; as it was they were a useful addition to the stock of the GWR and later of British Railways. Maybe even more important, they were the forerunners, as already mentioned, of the large fleet of diesel trains which, although (it seemed to me) a bit under-powered and slow in acceleration compared with the GWR cars, did such a useful job in keeping parts of B.R. going that, without them, could not have survived.

Photographs of these cars are in short supply in my collection, but I have managed to find three which are representative, one of an early branch car No. 16, one of the odd one, No. 18 with a coach attached, and a later single car, No. W2OW, in early B.R. livery.

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Social Commentary by Khai Khem

On the Beaches

Good news for a change: Pattaya’s wastewater treatment system is finally ‘operational’. Of course, it is now the year 2001, and the building of this miracle of technical advancement has taken years to complete, but let us count a blessing, if indeed, this is what it will turn out to be. For this little gem is being touted as the magic ‘fix’ which will turn our city respectable, simply because sometime in the future, the water will be clean enough for overseas visitors to swim in the waters off Pattaya, in the same way that those who visit Phuket already enjoy.

In truth, I always see lots of people swimming in the waters off Pattaya’s Beach Road and Jomtien’s beaches. Most of them are Thais and their children, all of whom seem to be immune to the local bacteria and toxic waste. The others are European tourists of a great age who hail from countries which are not exactly known for their tropical beaches, such as Austria, Poland, Latvia, Iceland, some of the more obscure territories of Canada, and a few frigid regions of the former Soviet Union. The rest of us know better, or soon find out after a stern lecture from our physicians as to how we acquired the skin fungus which looks more like the first stages of leprosy when examined closely, or the mould growing out of our children’s noses and ears, which can no longer be blamed on the family pets.

These massive lumps of humanity, which form the bulk of our reliable tourist season, all seem to arrive at the beginning of the temperate zone winters, and loll around in the scorching tropical sun like huge beached whales, until they are tanned to the colour of an old cowboy boot. All through the day, they consume gallons of beer and kilos of food. Then, after a hard day at the beach, they shower and dress for dinner, and go searching for a restaurant where they consume gallons of beer and kilos of food.

Occasionally you see petite, middle aged Thai women wrestling with rolls of fat and bulging muscles, attempting to apply the art of physical massage on these foreign leviathans. I once mentioned to some of the women who do this work on the beaches of Pattaya, that if they charged by the inch, instead of the hour, they could afford a new Mercedes, and pay in cash. From the complaints I have heard of the two-tier charging which is so common with Thai entrepreneurs, some apparently took my idea to heart.

If one doesn’t actually live in a seaside city like Pattaya, one simply reads the travel magazines and brochures and dreams about tropical beaches in warm climes. All the photography in these publications shows beautiful men and women, who are healthy and gorgeous. Shot on location with a background of powdery, white sand, and elegantly fanned palm trees, the models, wearing the most minimal of costumes, are chosen carefully. Lithe and slender, these perfect specimens of the human gene pool always grace the posters which are displayed on the walls of travel agents’ offices. And, naturally, if the destination is touting Pattaya, one of the Far East’s last places of lewd debauchery for the tight-fisted, these images can really get the juices flowing. Unfortunately, when you actually arrive here and do a visual survey, all you seem to find is elderly retirees with huge bellies and cellulite. Sorry. I know that’s unfair. Pattaya beaches are also popular with young amputees and wheelchair occupants, and the local, upcountry maids, who’s skin is not as precious as the monthly remittance to the family’s rice farm.

Just exactly where do all of these beautiful creatures head off to for a holiday after a hard day’s session of modelling for the tropical beach brochures? Well, times have changed. From my experience on the road as visitor of tourist destinations, it seems the beautiful people are now all heading to ski resorts around the world. Athletic, energetic, and propagandised about skin cancer and sun damage to the skin, this generation wraps those alluring bodies in ski suits and covers those handsome faces with caps and goggles. All those trim bodies are carved in a fitness gym, and mixed salads and bottled designer water keep them maintained.

New trends and attitudes now leave the Pattaya beaches with the ageing Baby Boomers and elderly pensioners, who have time and money to spend, but not much energy or motivation to live up to the image of ‘body beautiful”. Never mind. They deserve to swim in clean water when they get here. And we will just have to be satisfied with all of that respectability they will give our city in the future. After all, the foreign journalists are simply gong to report on the clean water, not the vulgar nightlife for which we will no longer be infamous. After all, clean water is a hell of a “scoop”.

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The Computer Doctor

by Richard Bunch

From Gerry Pace, Pattaya: First of all may I congratulate you on your column in Pattaya Mail; most informative and knowledgeable. In the next few months, cash permitting, I will be totally upgrading/replacing my system and would like to visit you for your recommendations. As an aside, I wonder I you could help me. I will not bore you with the lengthy background, but I would like to know how I could find out the originating IP address of a received e-mail. I know it can be done and will show a reference such as 203.54.153.220 indicating it came from Telstar Internet, Canberra for example. Thanks in advance.

Computer Doctor replies: Firstly, I would be pleased to discuss your future requirements with you. In the meantime though, the problem of faked IP addresses seems to be becoming an increasing problem; this is often used by people to send information or hate mail from a fake address. This can be achieved remarkably easily, simply by changing the “Sender” and “Return-to” fields in the e-mail client to something different. You can do this, since these fields, i.e. your identity, are normally not checked by the mailserver when you send mail, but only when you receive mail.

Every email has what is termed a header. The header is the part in which the route the email has taken is reported. Since the header is often fairly bulky and not usually required by the recipient most e-mail clients hide this. Every email program can display them, though – check out the “Options” or “Preferences” menus.

The email shown below is a typical, but rather unsophisticated example of faked email. Fortunately for us journalists, most people are not more sophisticated than this. You should, however, be aware of the fact that there are much more sophisticated ways to fake mail.

Received: from SpoolDir by IFKW-2 (Mercury 1.31); 13 May 98 15:51:47 GMT +01

Return-path: [email protected]

Received: from bang.jmk.su.se by ifkw-2.ifkw.uni-muenchen.de (Mercury 1.31) with ESMTP;

13 May 98 15:51:44 GMT +01

Received: from [130.237.155.60] (Lilla_Red_10 [130.237.155.60]) by bang.jmk.su.se (8.7.6/8.6.6) with ESMTP id PAA17265 for <[email protected]>; Wed, 13 May 1998 15:49:09 +0200 (MET DST)

X-Sender: [email protected]

Message-Id: v03020902b17f551e91dd @[130.237.155.60]

Mime-Version: 1.0

Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii”

Date: Wed, 13 May 1998 15:49:06 +0200

To: [email protected]

From: Kuno Seltsam [email protected]

Subject: Important Information

X-PMFLAGS: 34078848 0

To translate that into English…

Date: Wed, 13 May 1998 15:49:06 +0200

To: [email protected]

From: Kuno Seltsam <[email protected]>

Subject: Important Information

These lines indicate who purports to have sent the mail, to whom it was sent and when.

X-PMFLAGS: 34078848 0

This is a number, which your email program may add to the mail to keep track of it on your hard disk.

Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii”

This states that the message contains normal, plain text.

Message-Id: <v03020902b17f551e91dd @[130.237.155.60]>

This line contains a tracking-number, which the originating host has assigned to the message. The Message-ID is unique for each message and in this case contains the IP Number of the originating Host. If at this point you doubt that the message really came from someone at “seltsam.com”, you can use this number and translate it into something more meaningful. This is easily accomplished using a program like TJ Ping from http://www.topjimmy.net/tjs/files/tjpro.exe which tracks IP Packages online and resolves IP-numbers.

Using this will reveal the genuine name of the originating computer this maybe for example:

Starting lookup on 130.237.155.60 - May 14, 1998 22:01:25

Official Name: L-Red-10.jmk.su.se

IP address: 130.237.155.60

This is actually the originating computer from which the message was sent and not the mailserver. If the address was at a location with a large number of users, like an educational establishment, this is not terribly useful, since there will be many users of this computer on a given day. However, with home users and often companies users tend to have a dedicated computer which is much more exact. If the header doesn’t show any further information, you could use this information by calling for example the system administrator and asking who’s using ????

X-Sender: [email protected]

This line tells you who was logged on to the mail-server when the message was sent. Unfortunately, not all email clients add this line. You have now established that the user who sent us the mail is “o-pabjen”, the IP-number is that of the mailserver revealed with TJ Ping i.e. bang.jmk.su.se. Armed with this information you could send a reply to the message by sending a mail to [email protected] or [email protected].

Should you want to investigate further, for instance if you would like to know the users real name, then you can try to “Finger” the account. Finger is a command that reveals basic information about the account holder. But as privacy becomes more of an issue many servers have disabled it. Nonetheless it is worth having a go, you never know! Using a program like WS Finger simplifies the task. It will reveal Login name: o-pabjen in real life: Pabst Jens. This additional information is very useful for a System Administrator to act on.

Normally this is enough, because you now know that “Kuno Seltsam <[email protected]>” is really Jens Pabst <[email protected]>.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or E-mail to [email protected]. The views and comments expressed within this column are not necessarily those of the writer or Pattaya Mail Publishing.

Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer Technologies Co., Ltd. Providing professional information technology and Internet services which includes; custom database and application development; website design, promotion and hosting; domain name registration; turnkey e-commerce solutions; computer and peripheral sales service and repairs, networks (LAN & WAN) and IT consulting. For further information, please e-mail [email protected] or telephone/fax 038 716 816 or see our website www.act.co.th

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Sea Worlds : Temperate Oceans

by Apichart Panyadee

Offshore and seaward, the sea bottom slopes down into the plain of the continental shelf, and the salt marsh, kelp forest, and seagrass bed give way to the benthic upper layer of water. On this seabed rests a layer of sand and mud. This is the continental shelf and it is where our most important fisheries lie. Here is here we will find shrimp, lobsters, crabs, clams, cod, sardines, rockfish, and bottom fish. The shelf sediments are inhabited by a world of burrowers such as sea worms, clams, tunnelling crustaceans, and an army of anemones, brittle stars, sea urchins, sea stars, ambulatory crustaceans and other creatures which adapt to live on the surface of the sediments.

Lobsters on the seabed

Nutrients arrive on the continental shelves from two directions: in the run-off from land and in upwelling along the continental margins. Here this organic debris fuels the bloom of plankton over the shelves, which in turn does the photosynthesising and promotes the food chain.

Canada’s Strait of Georgia is an inland sea which separates the mainland province of British Columbia from that of Vancouver. This strait abounds with fjords, islands and estuaries. Tidal currents surge through it, bringing water so rich that when examined by marine biologists, it was found that only one quart of this seawater held literally millions of plants and animals. The plankton which abounds in this region attracts many larger creatures, which in turn draw fisherman and scuba divers in large numbers. Because the plankton is so dense in summer, it obscures visibility for divers, who will brave the frigid winter waters just to observe this beautiful underwater world with its myriad of mysteries. The wealth of animals that dwells in this region is as colourful as many tropical reefs.

Canada’s Straight of Georgia

South Australia’s fertile waters churn with the energy of blizzards that originate thousands of miles away in Antarctica. In reclaiming the edge of the continent, the rolling waves have sculptured the ‘Twelve Apostles’; the limestone pillars which stand off Port Campbell, south east of Spencer Gulf. Dangerous Reef, located at the mouth of the gulf, is home to the great white shark. Considered the most agressive of sharks, the great white may be drawn to this region because of the presence of the sea lions, on which it feeds. It also eats tuna, dolphins, and other sharks. One of the “terrors of the deep”, humans are not part of the sharks normal diet. Studies conducted are suggesting to scientists that the rare assaults on swimmers and divers may occur because of mistaken identity, invasion of shark territory, or perhaps just bad luck and timing.

If the shores and shelves of the temperate oceans are where people first began to understand the ocean, then it is also here where we are coming to see the damage we are doing to the seas. In the late 1980s more than a million bottom fish died in the American state of New Jersey’s Raritan Bay. These fish were trapped in a dead zone of toxic waste. Later that year, medical wastes such as bloody bandages, syringes, and bottles of prescription medicines began washing up along the beaches of the USA’s northern Atlantic shorelines. In the same period, 18,000 seals died in the North Sea. They were killed by pneumonia and liver infection. Industrial waste and toxins are not only killing off our marine life all over the world, but the poisoning of our oceans are sparking birth defects in new populations. A public, shocked and enraged, has forced the nations of our globe to start making amends.

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Forgotten Classics : Joan Jett - Up Your Alley

by Mott the Dog
e-mail: [email protected]

***** - 5 Stars

The trouble with you lot and Miss Jett is very simple, you take one look and go “Sex Bomb” and don’t go any further. This may be a fair gut reaction. However, stop, take a smell of the music because it rocks.

Released in 1988 and produced by long term mentor Kenny Laguna, “Up Your Alley” has been far more influential on the rock world than most would admit. All of the big hair poodle rock boys should give a doff of the hat to Joan Jett and her merry cohorts “The Blackhearts”. From “Bon Jovi” to “Motley Crue”, they’ve all obviously lent an ear, copping a few hints here and hear.

Everybody who’s been to a bar in Thailand knows the opening song, “I Hate Myself For Loving You”. Whether it is the original version by Joan or a Thai cover version the music is undeniably Joan Jett’s. The song opens with Thommy Price’s big drum sound before the guitars come crashing in. Joan gives one of her sexy little yelps and the chorus drags you dancing along. As with two other songs on this album, “Little Liar” and the love rejection song “You Want In, I Want Out”, it was co-written with Desmond Child. This does not diminish anything from the songs that Joan wrote with the rest of the band. There is not a ‘filler’ on the album. “I Still Dream About You” is an all time classic, with Joan throwing herself at you with some of the most Vulgar Lyrics ever recorded. The two cover songs are well chosen. First you have Chuck Berry’s free way madness anthem “Tulane” which just rocks, with Thommy Price’s drums again excelling.

The high point of the album though is Joan’s interpretation of the Stooges “I Wanna Be Your Dog”, which Joan makes her own. I want to be your dog Joan?

Joan Jett & the Blackhearts have always been in your face Rock ‘n’ Roll. What the band play is what you get - the original garage punk. Nowadays, it’s all lip syncing to back up tapes and posing which is not really Joan’s thing. However, when the people want to rock again, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts will be there at the top of the pile singing about ‘sex’, ‘cruisin’ & ‘rockin’ real hard. Joan Jett & the Blackhearts still play over 200 concerts a year and the last two studio albums, “Notorious” & “Pure and Simple” are phenomenal. It is Rock ‘n’ Roll Heaven, check it out.

Track Listing

I Hate Myself For Loving You
Ridin’ With James Dean
Little Liar
Tulane
I Wanna Be Your Dog
I Still Dream About You
You Want In, I Want Out
Just Like In The Movies
Desire
Back It Up
Play That Song Again

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Shaman’s Rattle: The Shaman Stones Hailona (Part 1)

by Marion

The Shaman Stones method of divination is the casting of seven coloured stones or beads as a way of accessing our intuition (Hailona is Hawaiian, meaning - Casting for Divination).

I first learnt of this ancient Hawaiian stone casting divination when studying Lomi Lomi, Hawaiian Kahuna massage. Anyone can practice it - you do not have to be a witch doctor. It is a marvelous way of zeroing in on the sub conscious. Just buy seven different coloured beads or buttons or paint 7 stones white, red, orange, yellow, blue, green, and violet.

You ask a question and concentrate on it while throwing the stones. Your inner self will then supply the answer through an arrangement of patterns of the stones which you then read.

You may ask any of these questions -

1. What is the best way for me to get what I want?

2. What is the best thing for me to do in this situation?

3. Please give me a three step plan for achieving this goal.

4. What is in the way of me achieving my goal?

It is in the nature of divination for the answer to need as much concentration and intuition as the question. I can read the stones’ symbols but you must reflect on the meaning, relevance and application for you.

This casting way of divination uses the same method as the coin tossing of the I Ching (pronounced, “E Jing “). It works on the principle that your inner self collects the information sought from the collective unconscious, or the universe and then energizes the symbols (the stones or coins) into an arrangement pattern that gives you the most appropriate answer.

Casting stones is not telepathy or clairvoyance, it is accessing our own sub-conscious, also the collective unconscious or the connectedness of the universe.

Through our senses of touch and sight, it is a way of making intuitive information available to us. All techniques of divination involve deliberate study and use of triggering devices which develop our intuitive subconscious abilities.

Remember that all oracles must be approached with respect, ceremony and belief. They should not be used as party tricks but rather consultations in a peaceful uncluttered place with a focused mind and careful attention. Do not ask frivolous or test questions or you will get vague answers. If you trust and believe, then the answers will be amazingly pertinent to you.

Adhere to the first principle of Cause and Effect, - everything you do and say returns to affect you, therefore - Harm None. All requests for advice from a higher source must be made according to the free will of all and the good of all. Therefore it is inappropriate to ask - “How can I have a particular person love/marry me, or commence or cease anything.”

However it is not inappropriate to ask, “How can I make a fortune?” This is OK, it is not depriving yourself or anyone else. There are limitless resources.

Shaman Stones divination is taught by Serge Kahili King. He is a white (haole) master Kahuna, with a PhD in psychology and an author. It is described in his book, “The Urban Shaman”, Published by Simon and Schuster, ISBN 0-671-68307-1.

Casting the Stones

Use all seven colours, White or Clear, Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue and Violet. The White stone is the Foundation stone, and the others are the answering stones. Focus on the question. Toss the stones and read the one that falls closest to the white. Use both a combination of the Keyword and the Hawaiian principles to derive the answer.

Colour Keywords

White - Awareness

Red - Freedom

Orange - Focus

Yellow - Persistence

Green - Love

Blue - Confidence

Violet - Flexibility

Remember it is in the nature of divination for the answer to require as much intuition as the question.

The 7 Huna Principles

For more insight refer to the colour related seven Huna principles.

1.White. Ike. The World is what you think it is - Be Aware.

2. Pink. Kala. There are no limits - Be Creative, Be Free.

3. Orange. Makia. Energy flows where attention goes - Be Focussed.

4. Yellow. Manawa. Now is the moment of power - Be Here, Be Present.

5. Green. Aloha. To love is to be happy with - Be Content, Give Praise.

6. Blue. Mana. All power comes from within - Be Confident.

7. Violet. Pono. Effectiveness is the measure of truth - Be Positive, Be Flexible.

For more detailed explanations refer to next week’s column Shamans Stones Part 2.

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Women’s World : Emmeline Pankhurst

by Lesley Warner

This is a lady that had more on her mind that what she looked like. I very much doubt that she spent too much time or money on beauty products. I think we should thank her and the other ladies that had the determination to fight for what they believed in, for providing the first stepping-stone that gave us the freedom ‘as women’ we enjoy today.

Emmeline Pankhurst

It was inevitable that Emily directed her life and her daughters towards the suffragette movement. When Emily was born her family was already sympathetic to the idea of votes for women and Emily’s mother bought the Women’s Suffrage Journal every week. When the editor of the paper, Lydia Becker came to speak in Manchester, Emily begged her mother to take her along to listen. When she was 14, the speeches excited Emily so much that by the time she left the meeting, she had already decided to devote herself to the campaign for women’s suffrage.

The WSPU was founded in 1903, in Emily’s words: “We clearly perceived that the new government calling themselves Liberal were ... hostile to women’s suffrage, and would have to be fought until they were conquered or driven from office ... I shall have to point out exactly wherein our society differs from all other suffrage societies. In the first place, our members are absolutely single-minded; they concentrate all their forces on one object, politically equal with men. No member of the WSPU divides her attention between suffrage and other social reforms.”

In 1905, Christabel Pankhurst and Annie Kenney were arrested for assaulting a policeman and obstruction. Having refused to pay their fines, they were sent to prison becoming Britain’s first (of an eventual 1800) women political prisoners.

In 1908-09, Emily was jailed three times, and she described the experience: “Obeying an order to undress, I took off my gown and then paused. ‘Take off everything’ was the next command. ‘Everything?’ I faltered. It seemed impossible that they expected me to strip. In fact, they did allow me to take off my last garments in the shelter of a bathroom. I shivered myself into some frightful underclothing: old, patched and stained. Some coarse, brown woollen stockings with red stripes and the hideous prison dress, stamped all over with the broad arrow of disgrace. I fished a pair of shoes out of a big basket of shoes, old, and mostly mismates. A pair of coarse but clean sheets, a towel, a mug of cold cocoa, and a think slice of brown bread were given to me and I was conducted to my cell.”

By 1912, the WSPU had become increasingly militant, mainly in the form of arson and attacks on property. Emily herself was again imprisoned for three years for an attempt to blow up the Prime Minister’s house for which she claimed responsibility. During her sentence, she went on hunger strike 12 times within a single year; each time she was released under the Prisoners (Temporary Discharge for Ill-Health) Act of 1913 (the “Cat and Mouse Act”) until she began to regain her health and was then re-imprisoned.

In 1926, after returning to England from living in the United States, she was adopted as a Conservative candidate in the East End of London. Sadly, her health failed before she could be elected and she died of medical complications from which she had suffered since her hunger strikes. She did live to see the introduction of the Representation of the People Act of 1928, which established voting equality for men and women.

The general opinion seems to be that were it not for Emily’s work in the first world war and that of the many other women that proved themselves as good as men, women would have been fighting for the vote for many more years. It was difficult for the government to refuse to give the vote to women who had helped the war effort.

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Nightmarch

In the Hot Spots: In an effort to woo the boozing public out into the wilds of Naklua, the Pussycat ogling den has introduced drinks at just 60 baht all night on Sundays. This includes cocktails, spirits, beers and even Lady Drinks, making them just about the cheapest in town. Pussycat was the first ogling den to set up operations in Naklua and became famous for its annual Miss Pussycat contest, a night that always drew a standing room only crowd.

This new move to offer cut-price booze is aimed at trying to get people out of their normal routine and experience a different atmosphere. If you like the place, then chances are you’ll come back on other nights also, especially if one or more of the dancing maidens catches your roving eye.

In the Boozers: To be perfectly honest I absolutely abhor Karaoke bars, and the recent surge in the numbers of these infernal places really leaves me cold. However, the TJ Noi Karaoke (behind Soi Skaw Beach and next to the Cupido Bar Complex) is an exception, for a couple of reasonable reasons.

First, the bar is completely enclosed and therefore the noise of people being slowly strangled (well that’s what most would-be warblers sound like when they get hold of a karaoke microphone) is confined to the bar, rather than broadcast to the population of Rayong. Since the bar is situated in what should be known as Karaoke Alley, the fact it is enclosed really is a major plus.

Second, the drink prices are more than reasonable considering the joint is air-conditioned and the seating is of better quality than most other establishments.

Finally, and best of all, the English-language music features some great original material from bands and singers like Steppenwolf (Born to be Wild), Abba (Waterloo), Procul Harem (Whiter Shade of Pale), The Beatles (I Saw Her Standing There) and Cliff Richard (Summer Holiday) among a host of others. What’s even better is the video footage happens to be the original; in most cases black and white.

The material ranges from the 1960s through to the 1970s (the decade that style forgot) and for those of you who dabble in social anthropology, you may be surprised to see that there are a number of people living here in Pattaya who still dress the way they did back then. Follow the bouncing ball.

Out of the Rumour Mill: A couple of long-term ex-pats around town who like to sneak off every now and again into the Sierra Tango (S/T) bars for a bit of dine and dash have been finding themselves spending just as much time down at the quack treating the less than attractive after-effects.

As anyone who has lived here long enough knows only too well, the number of Sierra Tango bars in Fun Town has skyrocketed in recent times, so the chances of picking up that little bit extra that you hadn’t bargained for have probably increased exponentially.

However, if the punters frequenting these establishments start getting a few too many nasty little surprises then the dine and dash business will really start to suffer, especially as these joints tend to be patronised by significantly more locals than tourists. I would strongly suggest to the publicans operating these outfits that they insist on the working ladies having regular, and more to the point, genuine medical check-ups. It is in the interests of all concerned: the punters and the working lasses in particular as well as the publicans.

Does this bus go to 42nd Street? The Pattaya to Bangkok bus terminal up on North Road issues tickets that not only give you your seat number and the time of departure but also the number of the bus that you should be boarding. However, the reality is that the bus number is completely inconsequential, the only thing that matters is the time of departure. If you have a ticket that, for instance, says departure at 11:00am on bus number 48-16 and the bus waiting to depart at 11:00am happens to bear the number 79-08, don’t worry, just get on board.

My e-mail address is: [email protected]

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Guide to buying a large dog: Afghan Hound

by C. Schloemer

Good points: loyal and affectionate, good with children who do not tease

Take heed: must have space, not suitable for apartments, needs daily grooming, must have firm, loving handling, can be fiery tempered

The Afghan is dignified, aloof and fond of comfort. Though it enjoys nothing more than surveying the scene from a cosy armchair, the Afghan is not the ideal choice for apartment dwellers, nor those with small houses and a tiny garden. For, despite its beautiful house manners, this gorgeous creature is basically a hunting dog. It is warmly affectionate with its owners, and usually trustworthy with children, but it is independent in character and can often have a fiery temperament, particularly in adolescence. So the Afghan needs loving but firm training from the start. As a hound, its obedience training must start early and stay consistent.

But this is an affectionate dog and it is impossible to show it too much love and attention. On the other hand, it will not be bullied. It is important to maintain superiority from the first, especially if you want to show this dog in the show ring, or you may suffer the humility of wrestling with a powerful creature with a mouth full of large teeth.

Size: Ideal height: dog 68.5-73.5 cm. Bitch approximately 5 to 7 cm smaller

Exercise: Afghans need free running to keep fit and happy. Their original task was to hunt wolves and gazelles in the deserts of Afghanistan. So a stroll in a suburban garden will not be sufficient exercise to subdue their boundless energy. A puppy from the first should be allowed unrestricted exercise during waking hours. This should be in a safe, enclosed place. An adult should have a minimum of half an hour’s free galloping a day as well as disciplined walks on the lead.

Grooming: Daily grooming is vitally important to keep the dog’s thick coat from matting. Owners of Afghans come to terms with this job, for a well groomed Afghan is a delight to behold. And a neglected specimen is an abomination. Indeed, this breed is definitely not for those with little time for grooming and exercise.

The only type of brush capable of getting through an Afghan’s coat is one with an air cushion behind the tufts. The best of all is a Mason Pearson real bristle, made for women with long locks, and it’s expensive. The nylon version is cheaper but remember to use a cream rinse or coat lubricant with this brush, otherwise static electricity will build up and cause the hair to become brittle. Here is an interesting point. A little research on the international dog shows of old show photographs of a very different looking dog. The Afghan Hound did not always show in the ring with the long coat you see today. When commercial shampoo companies came out with the product cream rinse for human hair, owners grooming Afghan Hounds discovered that using cream rinse prevented breakage of the long outer coat hair. The coat just grew, and grew and grew. The show-coat of today is long, silky and flows with grace.

Origin and history: The Afghan Hound is an ancient breed from the Middle East, thousands of years old. It is thought that it was crossed with the Saluki from Persia. A papyrus found in the Sinai desert dated c. 3000 BC was, from early translations, thought to refer to a “monkey faced” hound. This could have been the forerunner of the Afghan, which because of its facial features is often called a “monkey dog”. This dog was destined to find its way from Persia to Afghanistan, where it grew a protective coat against the harsh climate, and found favor with the royal and aristocratic families of that land.

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The Message In The Moon

by Anchalee Kaewmanee

Introduction

It has been said that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Today, even outside Asia, and the sub-continent of India; in countries which do not place a lot of emphasis on the importance of astrology, people have picked up a smattering of knowledge on this subject. Small talk at cocktail parties and the odd magazine article has given them enough confidence to state confidently that Scorpios are sex fiends, Librans are lazy, Taureans are money crazy, Aquarians are just plain crazy, and Virgos lose their virginity some time around middle age. A world-wide mushrooming interest in popular Sun-sign astrology has produced an abundance of such misconceptions and stereotypes.

Although these common fallacies are humorous, they are for the most part distortions and exaggerations of astrological truth. The practitioners of Western pop-culture astrology are often to blame for the very misunderstandings they try so hard to avoid. Practically everyone knows his birth sign (or Sun sign) and almost everyone knows something about his own birth sign. Unfortunately, what they know is often incomplete or misleading. Scorpios have read time and again about how ‘intense’ they are. Taureans are tired of the sensual, stubborn, and comfort-loving descriptions they hear about themselves. Virgos are fed up with adjectives like fussy, critical, conservative and frugal. Cancers become defensive about being labelled ‘defensive’. And poor Geminis are no longer sure of who they are.

Because of the distortions and generalisation common to Sun-sign astrology, it is no wonder that people so often feel estranged from their own signs. Certainly, you may feel simpatico with some of the characteristics of your own sign. Most Librans will identify with the need for harmony and tranquillity, as most Capricorns will admit to the need to prove themselves to the world. But what about all those characteristics of your sign about which you do not agree? Those characteristics that just don’t fit? For example, there are many Virgos around us, who spend money without a care in the world. There are lots of Sagittarians who are practical and down to earth. And certainly, some of us must know Scorpios who are not totally controlled by their libidos; (although I admit they are hard to find). There are even a great number of Aquarians who are neither revolutionaries, nor raving eccentrics. Ronald Regan, former president of the USA, might have been an example to name here, although considering his present condition, now I’m not so sure. The point being, of course, is that obviously the Sun sign does not fully convey the complexities of a person’s personality. What is missing is the Moon sign.

This column will introduce the reader to the importance of Moon signs in the astrological scheme of character reading. A competent astrologer who works out a personal chart for an individual will always include the personal messages of Sun and Moon signs for a complete astrological portrait of that person’s emotional nature, hidden drives, and richest potentials.

What is the Moon sign?

The moon sign is simply the sign in which the Moon was in at the time of your birth. The Sun changes signs once each month. The Moon also changes signs, but much faster than the Sun, taking only a few days to pass through a sign. Did you ever wonder why in countries like Thailand and China, for example, so many things in everyday life, such as birth, marriage, and sometimes even finance and politics are influenced greatly by astrology? The methods of examination are much more complicated and complete than the simple, half-hearted ways Westerners view this ancient ‘science’.

Once an astrologer has determined your Moon sign, what can you do with it? What does it mean to have, say, the Moon in Aries or the Moon in Taurus? In traditional astrology, the Moon represents the emotional facet of your personality. It is the underlying force which determines your hidden drives, desires, motivations and ambitions. It represents your deepest dreaming and aspirations. The Sun sign, on the other hand, represents your obvious and already revealed drives and motivations. The Sun sign is your ego. It is what you expect of yourself in terms of achievement and potential. It is what you think of yourself and the way in which you deal with others. By combining the Sun and Moon signs, a much more in-depth portrait of astrological identity emerges.

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