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Money matters

Snap Shots

Modern Medicine

Heart to Heart with Hillary

Let’s go to the movies

Staying happy in Paradise - the Counseling Corner

Money matters:   Graham Macdonald MBMG International Ltd. Nominated for the Lorenzo Natali Prize

Financial weapons of mass destruction, part 2

In the early noughties, structured products failed because the markets fell way beyond expectations. Big name brokers who sold masses of these products - then called ‘precipice bonds’ - went out of business as the compensation claims mounted. You don’t have to go that far back to witness how structured products have let down investors. In 2008, the beleaguered Lehman Brothers was the counterparty backing a number of structured products issued by companies such as NDF, Meteor, DRL, Arc and L&G (guarantees behind most products are provided by a third party i.e., not the company you put your money with).

Bottom line? Investors who put money into structured products backed by Lehman Brothers are still in limbo, and may not receive their capital back. While the collapse of Lehman Brothers has brought the issue of counterparty risk to the fore, the Investment Management Association (IMA), which represents the UK fund management industry, has for some time been at loggerheads with structured product providers over the transparency of their plans, saying that the disclosure requirements for products which compete in the same market as funds needs to be similar.

Imagine this. You’ve just retired and are wondering what to do with your life’s savings. It’s all you have, and you need to keep it safe. You go to a professional financial adviser, who correctly evaluates your risk profile as ‘cautious’. He offers you an investment plan that is “100% capital secure”. Whatever happens to the stock market, you are told: “your initial capital investment will be returned to you in full.” This assurance is repeated eight times across three pages of the booklet you are given.

Then you hear on the news that Lehman’s has gone bust…nothing to do with you of course...unfortunately everything - all the savings you had in the world has disappeared into the black hole of the biggest bankruptcy filing in history. You now have the dubious honour of being a Lehman’s creditor. And you are told you will be lucky to ever see a penny of your life savings again.

And all because, unbeknownst to you, the ‘issuer’ of this plan was Lehman Brothers. Turns out your capital wasn’t 100% secure after all - it was only as secure as Lehman Brothers.

If the average purchaser knew they were buying derivatives - a class described by Warren Buffett as ‘financial weapons of mass destruction’ - they might not have been so keen to invest.

There are three main credit rating agencies: Standard & Poor’s, Moody’s Investors Service and Fitch Ratings. They provide well-known letter-based ratings ranging from AAA as the most creditworthy to C for exceptionally high levels of credit risk. But, as was shown in the case of Lehman Brothers, which all three agencies rated at least A at the time of its demise, they can make errors.

Recent report from the Financial
Services Authority

FSA Findings - Counterparty Risks

The FSA findings were many; however, I would like to focus on their comments regarding counterparty risk and in particular product and counterparty concentration risk; or, in simple terms, their guidance on portfolio diversification.

“We take the view that Structured Investment Products are unsuitable for customers who do not want to take any risk with their capital or have no capacity for loss.”

Consequently, even where full capital protection is provided within the structure, the nature of the counterparty risk is sufficient to exclude Structured Investments from being classed as suitable products for these types of clients. On reflection this seems eminently sensible.

Steer clear of structured products because:

* They usually don’t pay company dividend income, but rather an income linked to growth in the index’s value - much less reliable and more volatile than dividend income.

* They are hard to evaluate - even the best analyst couldn’t tell you what level an index will be at in five years’ time.

* A mix of cash savings and a dividend paying index fund can offer similar attributes more cheaply and straightforwardly.

* They are opaque - investors don’t really see what they’re buying, or at best it’s heavily disguised in the small print.

* They are inflexible, locking your money away for several years on pain of various penalties if you want to withdraw money before the policy reaches the maturity date.

* They confuse instead of educate, encouraging people to believe in ‘guaranteed’ investments and the tooth fairy.

* Their robustness depends on the health of various parties that the investor may not even know are involved (such as in the Lehman Brothers case).

* Liquidity is safer than guaranteed products and having a multi-asset actively managed portfolio should guarantee you a much safer investment.

The above data and research was compiled from sources believed to be reliable. However, neither MBMG International Ltd nor its officers can accept any liability for any errors or omissions in the above article nor bear any responsibility for any losses achieved as a result of any actions taken or not taken as a consequence of reading the above article. For more information please contact Graham Macdonald on [email protected]

Snap Shots: by Harry Flashman

Wet or dry - Be Prepared

“Be Prepared” has always been the motto of the Boy Scouts Association, and a concept that they have zealously guarded. In fact, popular rumor has it that the Association took the American satirist Tom Lehrer to court after he sang a ditty with that title. For those of you who missed it, the final verse which raised their ire included:

“If you’re looking for adventure of a new and different kind,
And you come across a Girl Scout who is similarly inclined,
Don’t be nervous, don’t be flustered, don’t be scared.
Be prepared!”

So what has that got to do with photography? Quite a lot actually. Look at the photographs with the column this week. It had rained very heavily last weekend, and the drainage system in this village could not cope, and flooding was prevalent (as usual). I was driving along and two children appeared, playing in the waters with their scooters. The photo opportunity was just wonderful and I had the camera in the car. What is more, I had space on the memory chip, the batteries were fully charged, and I was ready to shoot.

I took about a dozen shots, and here have published the two which I particularly like. They show two children, being children, and enjoying everything that being a child can bring to them. Something that we adults forget to do. But to get these shots it was necessary for me to “be prepared”.

I have written many times on the difficulties of photographing children. Whilst adults are only too happy to be photographed (especially Thai women), the attention span of children can be measured in nanoseconds, or milliseconds at most. Posed shots are always a letdown and you are more likely to receive a grimace than a natural smile. The longer you try, the less likely you are to get the shot you wanted. Photographing children and animals is fraught with danger and disappointment.

However, if it is just practice that you wanted, we have just had the Jester’s Charity Children’s Fair and there were certainly many children to photograph. But here comes the problem. You may know you are trying to get the best shot ever of little Johnny, but little Johnny doesn’t know it. And what’s more, doesn’t care! With a short attention span, he is not going to stand still long enough for you to fiddle around with camera settings, flash settings and exposure mathematics. No, when photographing children, use the Auto setting on your camera, and that is one of the few times I will recommend that mode! To get a good kid pic means that you have to be totally set up and ready.

Let’s look at the equipment needed first. In general, the further away you get, the more natural the photograph you will get. So, a small zoom lens (35-70) works very well in this situation as you can get far enough away from the child without invading the child’s ‘personal space’ and producing shyness or forced behavior. In my case, I used a 135 mm lens for these shots (as I didn’t want to get my feet wet).

Some photographers swear by Auto-focus (AF) for this type of shot, but personally I find that the noise is distracting for children. The “whiz-whizz” attracts for the aforesaid three point four milliseconds attention span, and then they are off again. However, the newer AF cameras (lenses) are much quieter and are probably the best in this situation.

No, it is a simple case of being prepared and just jumping in to get the shots, don’t stage manage, and lots of luck! And look out for photo opportunities, even when it is raining.

Modern Medicine: by Dr. Iain Corness, Consultant

Know ENUF about your NOF?

Acronyms in medicine can kill. This has been borne out on many occasions, but medical notes are full of them. Take PD, for example. That can mean Provisional Diagnosis, Panic Disorder, Parkinson’s Disease or even Police Department. Another is GS, which stands for Gleason Score (a way to grade prostate cancers), but unfortunately also stands for another 15 items, including the Gardner Syndrome, Griscelli Syndrome, Gitelman Syndrome and Gorlin Syndrome. Take your pick, and hope it fits the situation.

However, returning to your NOF, the subject of this week’s column, this stands for Neck of Femur, and fracturing your neck of femur (fracturing your hip) is very prevalent as we get older.

Over the past six years there have been approximately 420,000 hip fractures in the UK. Many of these people will have been permanently disabled, most will have suffered a dramatic reduction in their quality of life and more than 80,000 people will have died as a consequence of their hip fracture. Hip fractures alone cost the NHS ฃ2.3 billion per year.

There are a few reasons we get a fracture of the NOF and the first is because our bones become more brittle as we get older, as the calcium levels become depleted. This is called ‘Osteoporosis’, or the fragile bone disease, and affects the whole skeleton but it commonly causes fractures to bones in the wrist, spine and hip. There are over 70,000 hip, 50,000 wrist and 120,000 spinal fractures each year in the UK. And these are mainly the older generations (and these are the generation that includes pensioners, of which a large number come to Thailand to retire, and get their fractured NOFs treated locally).

There are many people who are ‘at risk’ of osteoporosis, including:

Post-menopausal women and not taking estrogen.

A personal or maternal history of hip fracture or smoking.

Post-menopausal woman who are tall (over 1.7 meters) or very thin.

Males with clinical conditions associated with bone loss.

Anyone taking medications that are known to cause bone loss, including corticosteroids such as Prednisone, various anti-seizure medications such as Dilantin and certain barbiturates, or high-dose thyroid replacement drugs.

People with type 1 (formerly called juvenile or insulin-dependent) diabetes, liver disease, kidney disease or a family history of osteoporosis.

People with thyroid conditions, such as hyperthyroidism or parathyroid condition, such as hyperparathyroidism.

Those who have experienced a fracture after only mild trauma.

People with X-Ray evidence of vertebral fracture or other signs of osteoporosis.

That list above seems to cover just about everyone, so how can you find out whether you have already experienced calcium loss and osteoporosis? This can be demonstrated very simply by Bone Density Scanning.

Bone density scanning, also called dual-energy X-Ray absorptiometry (DXA or DEXA) or bone densitometry, is an enhanced form of X-Ray technology that is used to measure bone density loss. DEXA is today’s established standard for measuring bone mineral density (BMD).

One of the main reasons (with women) is the dwindling hormonal levels that come with the menopause, which affect the calcium metabolism.

Finally, there is the design of the neck of the femur and hip joint itself, which beggars belief from the engineering point of view. When you fall on to the hip, the very thin NOF is easily sheared off. If you subscribe to the celestial theory of our development, then God was certainly not an engineer, despite building our world in a record setting six days.

Returning to the inherent problem, what we have to do is treat the osteoporosis. Evidence has shown that half of future hip fractures would be prevented if everyone was treated for osteoporosis after their first fracture. Unfortunately, it is not quite that simple.

The metabolism of calcium is not such that if you start to drink gallons of high calcium milk every day you are cured. Getting the calcium from the stomach to the bones is complex, and whilst calcium supplements have their place, they are not the be all and end all.

If you are at risk, consider checking your BMS (bone mineral density) first and be guided from there.

Heart to Heart with Hillary

Dear Hillary,
Loved the genie joke about understanding Thai women. What I would like to know is it just as hard for Thai women to understand foreign men?
Also Perplexed

Dear Also Perplexed,
No it is not the same situation, Petal. The Thai women just accept you as you are and don’t try to understand you. How many times have you been told, “You think too much,” by a Thai lady? That is because they don’t waste time trying to fathom out cross-cultural enigmas. After all, there is no point, is there? Just enjoy yourself and don’t deliberately upset anybody. When you can do that, then you are part of the way towards understanding, but always remember that the more you know, the less you will understand.

Dear Hillary,
I wanted to take out this girl from my office. I suggested dinner at a very good restaurant and when I asked where should I pick her up, she said that she would meet me there at the restaurant. When she turned up (late) she had another girl with her and we ended up eating as a threesome, with me paying of course. They chatted to each other all the way through the meal and all but ignored me. They both ordered the most expensive dishes on the menu and couldn’t eat all their food and insisted on being given doggy bags to take home. I was going to run them home, but they said that they were going clubbing and said good night. What is the score here, Hillary? Am I being taken for a mug, or what?
Will the wallet

Dear Will the wallet,
I am afraid that the girl from the office, on whom you had designs, does not regard the association with you as deep as your hopes for a liaison with her. Look at the big picture, Petal. Even though it is common for Thai girls to bring a chaperone in the early stages of a relationship, the disregard for you and the expensive orders and going clubbing and not inviting you does not look like someone trying to impress you, does it? Put it down to experience, Will, and probably try to evaluate any relationship a little further before jumping in with invitations to expensive restaurants.

Dear Hillary,
I have visited Thailand many times over the past three years. Fortunately (more by good luck than good management) I have avoided the bar beer female traps, so am almost a virgin if you like in Thailand. My credit card has never left my wallet! This time I am coming over for six weeks and I am wondering if there is some sort of agency I could apply in to get a nice, non-demanding partner for the holiday? Does this exist in Thailand? No hurries for the reply, I won’t be coming out till March next year.
Vic

Dear Vic (the virgin),
It’s time to reach out and face reality, my Petal. You want a non-bar girl, who is willing to drop everything for six weeks and make your bed and polish your shoes, no doubt. Just where are these wonderful women who might fit the bill for you? Yes, there is an agency that will supply your needs and wants at short notice for the duration of your holidays, and that is called “your local bar”. What other women are going to drop everything to wander around after you, picking up whatever you might drop? Get real, Vic. I can certainly see why you are still a virgin. You probably have the first shilling you ever made as well.

Dear Hillary,
This is a very personal question, but please don’t take it seriously. Why do the Thai girls all wear those molded plastic and rubber bras that look like two dumplings attached to the front of their chests? It is obvious that the lumps don’t belong to them, but come from their bra manufacturer. I’m like a lot of guys and like a nice pair on a girl, but real ones, not rubber ones, please.
Tim the T-man

Dear Tim the T-man,
I presume you mean that your name refers to Tim the Toyman, you naughty little Petal! I must admit that I have never heard the girls in the lingerie shops asking if madam would like one lump or two, as I have heard in some five star restaurants over coffee. Perhaps something swinging is going on behind the kitchen swinging doors that Hillary is unaware of. Dearie me! And talking about doors, since Thai girls were standing behind the door when the chests were given out (the Russian ladies made it to the front row followed by the Italian Mammas on row two), we have to do something to catch the eye of Toymen like you, Tim. Some of us have had to resort to rubber dumplings, while others of us have managed to get an appreciative man, like yourself, to sport out for silicone ones. But even the dumplings have to be more attractive than the two fried eggs. And so you have discovered our secret. Please don’t tell everyone, that’s a good boy, but just save up the money for your girlfriend’s cosmetic surgery.

Let’s go to the movies: by Mark Gernpy

Now playing in Pattaya

Red Eagle / Insee Daeng: Thai, Action/ Thriller – Forty years ago today, on October 8, 1970, Thailand’s greatest action star ever was filming a dangerous stunt involving a helicopter, off the beach at Jomtien. His name was Mitr Chaibancha and he died that day, in a horrendous accident, in front of a crowd of onlookers, and the nation of Thailand was stunned.

Thai super hero –the Red Eagle.

Now, the film that was being shot that day is the basis for a new version of the story, and a reworking of the hugely successful film series from the 1950s and 60s, of which it was the final chapter. This time Red Eagle stars the leading Thai actor of our time, Ananda Everingham. A highly anticipated, wildly hyped movie.

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole (3D): US, Animation/ Fantasy – A new animated feature that has gotten wide-ranging applause for its cutting-edge animation, and inventively superb use of 3D. It’s about a young barn owl who is kidnapped by the owls of St. Aggie’s, ostensibly an orphanage, but where owlets are brainwashed into becoming soldiers.

Helen Mirren, right, voices Nyra in Warner Bros. Pictures’ Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole. (Photo/ Warner Bros. Pictures)

Our hero escapes to the island of Ga’Hoole, to help its noble owls fight the army being created by the wicked rulers of St. Aggie’s. By the people who made the marvelous Happy Feet. Note: it’s real 3D. From the very beginning of production. In 3D only at Pattaya Beach, other locations 2D.

Devil: US, Horror/ Thriller – A group of people trapped in an elevator realize that the devil is among them. Produced by M. Night Shyamalan, which the directors and crew are desperately trying to live down, being that his name, post-Airbender, is as welcome as the devil himself. Mixed or average reviews. Not at Big C.

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps: US, Drama – Oliver Stone directs this follow-up to the acclaimed 1987 film – 23 years later. There are some really good turns by a number of people: Michael Douglas, Eli Wallach, Frank Langella, Josh Brolin. Some of their scenes are well done with a lot of intensity in the execution. But without much point or purpose, for me. Oliver Stone seems to visit many of the events of the financial crisis without explaining what’s really going on. I think if you were very familiar with the events, you could bring your already-formed feelings to bear on the scenes you witness, but without being so primed, it really makes no sense. Everyone is very intense and angry and confrontational about something, but about what is not explained, and thus I find the movie profoundly unsatisfactory. Still, it shows a lot of skill in filming scenes where much of great moment seems to be happening. Mixed or average reviews.

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec / Les aventures extraordinaires d’Adele Blanc-Sec: France, Action/ Adventure/ Fantasy/ Mystery – The version showing at Major and Pattaya Beach is English dubbed (over French – i.e., their mouths are pantomiming French, what you hear is English) and with Thai subtitles. At Big C, Thai-dubbed only. An adventure written and directed by Luc Besson set in the early part of the 20th century, and focused on a popular novelist and her dealings with would-be suitors, the cops, monsters, and other distractions. Adapted from what is said to be an extremely popular comic adventure series written and illustrated by French comics’ artist Jacques Tardi. The film is set in the carefree world before World War I, where Adele Blanc-Sec, an intrepid young writer, will go to great lengths to achieve her goals, even sailing to Egypt to get a mummy.

I really don’t know what to say about this movie. Maybe I’ll just cop a plea and say, “You have to be French!” The strange, sometimes cruel humor (such as the slapstick around the guillotine that ends with the wrong person being beheaded or the supposedly humorous way in which Adele turns her sister into a living vegetable by managing to have her fall backwards on a hatpin during a tennis match thereby driving a pin through her brain.) Nonchalant, off-handed nudity, pleasant pictures, pleasant story, pleasant costumes, nostalgic times, a “carefree world.” You, or your children, might find it enjoyable enough.

Edge of Darkness: UK/ US, Crime/ Drama/ Thriller – Vintage Mel Gibson, working within the familiar framework of a bloody revenge thriller. He plays a homicide detective who investigates the death of his activist daughter, and uncovers not only her secret life, but a corporate and government cover-up as well. Mixed or average reviews. Not at Big C.

Saturday Killer / Mue Puen Dao Phra Sao: Thai, Action/ Comedy – About a troublesome gunman who kills for money to cure his impotence, and a mysterious girl he has a crush on but whose heart he can’t seem to win. This is the middle film in a trilogy of crime films, Friday Killer, Saturday Killer, and Sunday Killer, all with well-known Thai comics paired up with leading ladies. No English subtitles at Big C. 18+

Eternity / Chua Fah Din Sa Lai: Thai, Drama/ Romance – Always-solid Thai filmmaking, and class act in many ways. It’s one of the most interesting Thai movies to come along in some time. Based on a revered and classic Thai novel of 1943, the film depicts a forbidden love story in which adulterous lovers are physically chained together for all eternity. Starring Ananda Everingham.

Resident Evil: Afterlife: UK/ Germany/ US, Horror/ Sci-Fi/ Thriller – The series continues. This time, in a world ravaged by a virus infection turning its victims into the Undead (read: zombies), Alice (Milla Jovovich) continues on her journey to find survivors and lead them to safety. Rated R in the US for sequences of strong violence and language. Generally unfavorable reviews, but the last Resident Evil did a whopping business in Thailand, and this one is doing the same – it’s been Thailand’s top film for September’s last three weeks. Shown in both 3D and 2D versions at Pattaya Beach (real 3D); in 2D elsewhere, and Thai-dubbed only at Big C.

The 3D version is authentic 3D, using the same cameras James Cameron created for Avatar. His systems and cameras remain at the cutting edge of 3D technology. Why they would want to use this marvelous technology for a zombie flic is another question entirely, but I want to help clear up the confusion as to what kind of 3D is actually being used under the generic and often misleading label of “3D.” This is genuine 3D.

Detective Dee: China/ Hong Kong, Action/ Crime/ Thriller – When the mysterious deaths of a series of loyal subjects threaten to delay the 690 A.D. inauguration of Empress Wu Zetian, she summons the infamous Detective Dee back from exile to solve the crime. Based on a Chinese folk hero, and starring Andy Lau and Tony Leung. Shown in a Thai-dubbed version only.

The Snow White / Tai Tang Glom: Thai, Horror/ Thriller – Two students stealthily dissect the dead body of a pregnant woman just to get the dead infant in her belly to do black magic. But the magic doesn’t work, and they’re hunted by the ghost of the dead woman. Rated 18+ in Thailand. Not at Major.

Scheduled for Oct 14

RED: US, Action/ Comedy – The initials “R.E.D.” stand for “Retired, Extremely Dangerous.” Retired from the CIA, that is, and formerly top agents. Now framed for assassination, they must use all of their collective cunning, experience, and teamwork to stay one step ahead of their deadly pursuers and stay alive. Starring Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Karl Urban, and Mary-Louise Parker. Early reviews: Generally favorable.

Staying happy in Paradise - the Counseling Corner

Richard L. Fellner

Social withdrawal

“Mike? I haven’t seen him for quite some time now!”

When the initial euphoria about life abroad has settled, cultural quirks, disillusionment and language barriers, coupled with a lack of a support system can create a sense of loneliness for expats. Even those who coped quite well with the challenges of transition, start to miss a close and sufficiently large circle of friends after a while. Many may have loose leisure or sports partners, but no one they would call a really good, intimate friend. So even life in Thailand can start to feel depressing after a while - out of recurring feelings of loneliness.

Younger people usually deal with this challenge more easily - it is usually easier for them to integrate into new environments, to learn the new language and to make contacts with local people. Older people, however, often develop a desire to retire from public life. Over the years, many of them even tend to reduce their contacts to the people they once enjoyed hanging out with, only leaving their apartments to buy goods or to (quietly) attend the weekly expat meetings. Eventually, even that may feel to exhausting. So it is that we have to read in our newspaper that people died isolated and lonely - whether from illness or even by their own hands. In my view, that’s the worst end of life, considering the dreams they once had in mind when deciding to move to Thailand.

When confronted with loneliness, feelings of depression or anxiety: stay active, keep meeting your friends and maintain your hobbies! But also keep an eye on your friends and acquaintances: how are they actually doing right now?

Live the happy life you planned! Richard L. Fellner is head of the Counseling Center Pattaya in Soi Kopai and offers consultations in English and German languages after making an appointment at 0854 370 470.


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