The first thing was that the TV programme
director got religion this year because there were no long
lingering close-ups of topless birds on yachts. Shame!
Heinz-Harry
Frentzen
The second thing we got to learn from
Monaco was that Mark Webber is head and shoulders above all
the other “rookies” in the field. Why? He was the only one
to finish, and if it hadn’t been for a puncture in the last
few laps he would have been 8th, instead of 11th and was
running strongly in front of both Jaguars. What happened to
the others? Massa (Sauber) - crashed, Yoong (Minardi) -
crashed (how strange!), Sato (Jordan) - crashed (how strange)
and McNish (Toyota) - crashed. That has to say something. Sato
managed to lose control of his when told to move over for his
team mate!
Others in the retirement brigade at Monaco
were Salo (Toyota) - crashed, Panis (BAR) - crashed, Button
(Renault) - crashed, Raikkonen (McLaren) - crashed, while
Montoya (BMW Williams) and Villeneuve (BAR) had mechanical
problems.
What else did we learn? Well, Rooby Baby is
South American - his frustrated launch at the ass-end of
Raikkonen’s car was what I would expect of a novice, not a
seasoned veteran, unless of course he is Brazilian!
Another fact learned from Monaco was that
Heinz-Harry Frentzen is a damn good driver, and hustling the
Arrows into 6th in front of Barrichello deserved the plaudits
of the crowd.
And of course, the final thing we learned at Monaco is that
it is a high speed procession enlivened only by accidents. It
may be the most glamorous circuit on the calendar, but the
actual race track is ridiculous for today’s F1 cars. Oh, by
the way, there was a sign hanging over a balcony at Monaco
saying “Fangio didn’t need team orders.” The sign writer
must have been a person of passion, but with a very poor grasp
on history. Fangio’s team mates were often pulled in to let
Fangio hop into their cars on team orders and get the points.
The World Championship standings going into Canada are
now:
|
1
2
2=
4
5
6
|
Michael Schumacher Ferrari
Juan Pablo Montoya WilliamsF1
Ralf Schumacher WilliamsF1
David Coulthard McLaren
Rubens Barrichello Ferrari
Jeson Button Renault
|
60
27
27
20
12
8
|
The weekend before Monaco is the ‘classic
race car’ meeting and our Alex was down to drive a 1971
Lotus, which made the car older than he was. He led for 9 of
the 10 laps, but faltered at the end and had to come second.
Alex
Yoong
“I had a good start and was leading the
race up to the halfway mark when the safety car came out for
the marshals to clear a car,” Alex told his website.
“Inexplicably I couldn’t get out of fifth gear while
touring around behind the safety car. I tried my best to stay
in front after the safety car pulled in with four laps to run
but couldn’t do anything to stop being taken by the Tyrrell
in the last lap.”
The race was won by Martin Stretton in a
1977 Tyrrell P34 with Yoong second in his 1971 Lotus 1972 five
seconds adrift and Christopher Perkins third in a 1974 Surtees
TS16.
What a shame! He almost won his first race
in any formula as far as I can work out!
Our Down-under correspondent, John Weinthal,
has just spent some time with the new Audi A6. To say that he
was impressed is putting it mildly. Knowing John as I do (for
about 40 years), to wring praise from him is like catching the
Interior Minister dancing in a girly bar after 4 a.m. Not
easy! Here are the Words from Weinthal.
“The overwhelming impression left by this
week’s test car is one of impeccable build quality. The
classic style of the Audi A6, inside and out, and the quality
of its execution put one in mind of a fine Italian suit. Here
is a luxury car about which I have not one criticism - not a
single feature I felt should have been done better, or done
without.
Audi
A6
“One might enjoy more power but there is
no occasion when one cries out for it. Audi has bags more
power available in its A6 range with two all-wheel-drive -
quattro in Audispeak - models; a 2.7 litre V6 developing 142
kW and, right at the top, a no-doubt fire-breathing 220 kW 4.2
litre V8.
“Trust me, with its 2.4 litre, five
valves per cylinder V6 which develops 121 kW, the test A6
performed admirably. Yet again one was reminded that some
maker’s ponies are significantly less potent than others’.
Clearly Audi’s are well-nourished, provided you feed them
premium super fuel.
“The A6 is fully equipped with everything
one might expect from the usual power gizmos, climate control
air conditioning and cruise control through multi-stacker CD
to electric sunroof and full leather cladding. About the only
thing I might add could be satellite navigation.
Audi
A6
“Here is a car which is comprehensively
equipped but which requires no learning - no studying of
handbooks; no frantic and potentially embarrassing calls back
to the supplier. It is clear, stylish and logical in every
operation. I cannot see the rounded exterior dating rapidly
and the fit of each panel is of the highest order.
“Audi has a good reputation of course,
but it tends to be over-shadowed in our market by two other
Teutons; the ones with the three-pointed star and blue and
white propeller badges. Good for BMW and Merc. There’s no
argument that they are fine cars too - but the Audi is at
least their peer.
“The Audi is also their match on the
safety score with front and side airbags and side head level
airbags, anti-lock disc brakes with electronic brake
distribution, electronic stability programs and more.
“A brisk early Sunday run up Mount
Tamborine emphasised the effortlessness of the Audi. While I
slid the transmission lever across to manual mode to slip back
a gear or two in the five speed auto for sharper corners, most
of the time I was more than content to let the car do its own
gear selection.
“The car’s suspension tends to thump
lightly over broken surfaces - it’s just a noise but it mars
by a fraction the Audi’s otherwise near impeccable
refinement.
“This car makes no overt pretensions to
sportiness, but acceleration from 0-100 kph in 9.4 seconds
qualifies as brisk at least.
“What most impresses about the A6 is that
it exudes a spirit of exacting rightness in every aspect. This
results in a comfortable ride for all passengers with masses
of head, leg and shoulder room and a rewarding time behind the
wheel for the driver.
“Is it worthy of its near-AUD 80,000
price? When you look at others around that mark you had better
believe it.”
And I can assure you that John Weinthal was
not paid by Audi for that review.
|
Canadian
GP this weekend
 So
the F1 circus has now moved across the Atlantic to the
Gilles Villeneuve circuit in Canada. Despite the great
drive from David Coulthard in the McLaren at Monaco,
Canada is a track where passing is possible, so I do not
expect the McLarens to be as competitive against the
Williams BMW or Ferrari. It should be an interesting
race, but at the time of writing this I have no idea
what time it will be telecast here. Suggest you watch
the notices in Shenanigans and join us at the
appropriate time in front of the big screen. See you
there.
|
The
answer was that it became a brewery!