COLUMNS
HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:

Family Money

Snap Shots

Modern Medicine

Women's World

Heart to Heart with Hillary

Grapevine

Antiques, are they genuine?

Animal Crackers

Social Commentary by Khai Khem

Roll over Rover

A Slice of Thai History

The Message In The Moon

Coins of the Realm

Family Money: Spoiled for choice?

By Leslie Wright,
Managing director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd.

Ask any growth investor to define the ultimate investment and the response will invariably be the same: one that provides good capital growth with absolute capital security. Fat chance. If things were that easy, the financial services industry in its entirety would be sun-soaking on Jomtien or Patong Beach. Financial advisers are continually faced with the challenge of helping clients who want the ideal scenario, but who must accept reality. Sadly, reality has teeth which bite, as evidenced during the past two years.

The investing public is not (always) completely unrealistic in its views, and advisers can provide solutions that offer real benefits. With most traditional investments, however, neither the potential return nor the effect on the capital invested is quantified in any way which is meaningful to the investor.

The most traditional investment ‘safe-house’ still has to be the bank or building society deposit account. Total capital security is what they offer (subject to the creditworthiness of the institution concerned) along with interest on your investment. However, prevailing low interest rates coupled with inflation (even at current low levels) mean returns on many of these accounts are now negative in real terms. Hence the very investors who are primarily concerned with capital security are seeing their capital eroded by inflation.

With-profits, bonds proved a popular choice for many years, offering the cautious investor’s fantasy of stock market-type returns with low risk to capital. The perception had grown over a number of years that this was an investment which steadily grew by smoothing out the peaks and troughs of the stock market’s investment returns. However, recent events in the UK have changed the nature of the investment, exposing its flaws and weaknesses. The complexities of the product and the arbitrariness of the returns declared are now openly criticised where once they were ignored. Importantly, the investment gives no indication of capital security - nor does it offer an indication of the returns which might be achieved when both annual and terminal bonuses are being slashed.

Unit trusts offer no such pretensions of being able to provide capital security or defined returns, but they have developed other ways in which to reassure investors that their risk profile might be right for them. This can range from the use of risk-grading (cautious, balanced, aggressive, opportunity), to the use of different asset classes (corporate bonds, property, traded endowments, equities) to the reassurance that the investment is being managed by a ‘star fund manager’.

These methods provide fund management companies with a means of promoting funds to particular ‘customer profiles’ but in reality they are as clear as mud. No indication is given of potential returns or losses within these profiles, and there is no evidence that managed funds can consistently outperform passive investment vehicles. The danger here is too much risk for too little reward.

In the midst of the turmoil in investment markets, protected investment funds become popular with conservative or nervous investors. While these funds do not represent a panacea for cautious investors, they can offer a more clearly defined investment option.

On the plus side, they are designed so that they say exactly what they do and do exactly what they say. First, you choose a capital protection level for the next period (usually a quarter or a year): typically this ranges between 95% and 100%. This means the investment value cannot fall below the selected level, regardless of what the market does. Then look at the potential return. Again, this is defined in advance - either as a fixed bonus or a percentage of the growth of the market index. Investors cannot predict what the market will do, but they can define what their investment will do in relation to it and protect themselves from the downward movements.

On the negative side, these funds are much misunderstood. Far from being ‘fatally flawed’ by the ‘high cost of protection’, they offer a means of providing real growth potential with real, defined capital protection. It is also possible to devise investment strategies for the most conservative of investors, which can ultimately lead to high-risk investment without taking them out of their comfort zone.

The conservative investor wants to conserve his original investment. That’s a given. But he also wants a decent return without risking his capital. Managed funds can fall by any amount at any time, no matter how skilled the manager might be (just look at the last two years), so these funds are unsuitable. Even the credo of ‘hold for the long term’ is scarcely satisfying to someone who will not accept the investment value falling below the original level. Similarly, with-profits funds are subject to unquantifiable bonus allocations, while deposit accounts offer an unacceptably low return.

By combining protected funds with different capital protection levels, though, it is possible to progress into funds with a higher risk / reward definition without damaging the initial investment. Starting simply with funds providing 100% protection and a reward profile linked to a stock market index, the investment value cannot fall. At least $100 will be returned on a $100 investment regardless of what the stock market might do. Thus, when the bear starts to bite, the investor can sit back and relax.

When the market rises, though, so does the fund. On the negative side the increase is a fraction of that achieved by the market, typically only about 20% of it, depending on market circumstances. On the plus side, though, with 100% protection, that increase is locked in.

The investor now has the luxury of choice: lock in the growth and retain 100% capital protection or take more risk for more reward. For instance, if the fund had grown by 2.5% over a quarter, the investor could afford to take more risk by selecting a fund with 98% capital protection. In this case, the investor can take such a risk because he is not exposing his initial investment - he is in fact betting with the house’s money! If the worst happens, the fund loses 2% - but the original investment is intact. The investor then reverts to 100% capital protection. If the fund grows again, the investor can potentially go all the way into a fund with 95% capital protection, offering more than 100% of the stock market growth.

This safe combination of protected funds means that investors can step along the risk / reward spectrum at their own pace and entirely under their own control. It represents a safe combination of absolute capital protection combined with the potential for attractive long-term capital returns.


Snap Shot: Wild and Weird

by Harry Flashman

One of the biggest problems when selecting photographs to hang on your wall (and you should always think about “showing” your original work) is to find a shot with enough ‘oomph’ to make people sit back and notice. That problem is now over. This weekend you will come back with photographs that are practically psychedelic. The end result will be such that people will say for years “How in heck did you take that? Was it a special kind of filter?”

Well, the good news is that you do not need to know anything about filters. The next fact is that you also do not need to know anything about f stops, shutter speeds, zoom lenses, reciprocity failure or the like. The special photographs we will end with can be taken by anybody with a fully automatic point and shoot compact camera. And that includes you.

The first step is to pop down to the photoshop and buy some slide film. Yes, slide film! Don’t say you haven’t got a projector, never used slide film before or any other of the excuses I hear people say when Harry here mentions slide film. If you normally use 100 ASA print film then get some 100 ASA slide film. Do not get Kodachrome because you have to send it away for processing, just get ordinary slide film that can be processed here in Pattaya. Look for the cheapest - it will be perfect for what you want.

Now load up and let’s go and shoot. The project will work best with some good landscapes or seascapes and there are excellent ones here. Pop down to Jomtien and take some shots of boats on the water and then some of the beach scenes. Now get in the car and go up to Buddha Mountain and take some shots there. Or to Wat Yarn for more spectacular scenes and finish the roll of film.

Now take the film back to the shop for processing and here is an important part. You ask for E6 slide processing, but say, “DO NOT MOUNT THE SLIDES!” Leave the slides either as a roll or cut into strips of 6 and put in sleeves like your usual print film negatives. Impress this on the girl behind the counter. You do NOT want them mounted.

When you get the transparency films back, just hold them up to the light and select any one shot that you like the look of (or even only half like, it doesn’t matter!). Go back to the photo processing shop with the following instructions, “I want you to print number X as if this is a negative. I know it is a slide, but I want you to print a picture, using this slide as the negative.” It will probably take quite some repeating before the technician will reluctantly take the job on, with much warnings about it will not look right etc. Ignore all warnings, just have faith in Harry Flashman.

While you are at it, tell them that you do not want the usual size, but get an enlargement done straight off. 10 x 8 is sufficient and costs around 80 baht, but be brave and even order a 16 x 12. Repeat your instructions, tell them you know the colour will be wrong and leave them to it.

You see, what happens with colour prints is that the processing machine recognizes certain “colours” in the negative and converts them to green for grass, blue for skies etc., in a photochemical way. By giving the autoprocessor grass that is already green and skies that are already blue totally confuses its auto brain (and the girl in the shop usually) and it will produce a print with the wildest psychodelic colours you will ever see. Expect orange trees and yellow skies - you can get anything! It is almost impossible to predict, but the end result will be wild. Try it this weekend. You will not be disappointed.


Modern Medicine: Are you a Trekkie? Now see the Trials of Trekking

by Dr Iain Corness, Consultant

By Trekkie, I do not mean the endless legions of couch potatoes who sit and watch endless re-runs of space travel fantasy. I mean the boots and battledress type.

Quite a number of my friends, over the years, have gone trekking. To be perfectly frank, I have no idea why, but for some it has become a sort of annual pilgrimage, the jungles of South East Asia being a seemingly irresistible lure.

However, like all pursuits undertaken when one leaves the relative safety of home, there are certain precautions that should be taken by those thinking of indulging in the odd jaunt through the jungles. In today’s parlance, this is called being “proactive”, which is merely the buzz word for what we all used to call forward planning or even thinking ahead.

So what would I recommend for today’s trekker? Well, to start with, there are some vaccinations that should be done, with the two Hepatitis vaccines for Hep A and Hep B being high on the list. Another is Typhoid vaccine, which though not a 100% cover, is better than none. The usual cover for polio and tetanus should also be brought up to date, as many people tend to let these slip. How long is it since you had a booster? Too long, I’ll wager.

The next couple are also, in my mind, very necessary. The first is rabies - I have no idea what the prevalence of rabies is in Nepal - but I would imagine it is not much different from other places in Asia. Rabies is also not one disease you want to get, because otherwise you do not trek home - you come back neatly encased in a wooden box.

The second is Meningococcal vaccine to protect against a group of very nasty bugs. Unfortunately, Nepal has had outbreaks of Meningococcal disease, and it is quite contagious in the closely packed groups of backpackers. Vaccination is painless and side effects are generally mild. Protection lasts up to three years. You have been warned. I would also scan the press for current regions of hostilities, for the same wooden box reasons!

Of course, when considering trudging along the hot and steamy jungles, you also have to remember that this is a high fluid loss pursuit, so you need to remain well hydrated. Additional water supplies should be taken with you - jungle streams, if you find one, may not have safe drinking water.

There is also the problem of snakes, vermin and leeches, assorted beasties and creepy crawlies that delight on feasting off the itinerant backpacker. Long trousers, long sleeves and stout boots are a necessity.

Of course, to really get involved in trekking, you should also remember that you must be of reasonable fitness to begin with. If you are an overweight cigarette smoking 50 year old, then don’t bother signing up for the trek of a lifetime. It could be your last (see wooden box cautionary item)!

No, while I am sure that the jungle trekking adventure does appeal to many - just remember that the trekking diseases may not be quite so appealing. Sensible precautions, vaccinations and a health check before you sign on the dotted line are really in order.


Women’s World: A puff a day

by Lesley Warner

After telling all you ladies how bad alcohol is for you I couldn’t leave out smoking, so here goes!

A woman’s annual risk for death more than doubles among smokers compared with persons who have never smoked.

The risk for dying of lung cancer is 20 times higher among women who smoke two or more packs of cigarettes per day than among women who do not smoke. The signs of a lung problem are a cough that won’t go away, sputum (secretion coughed up from the lungs streaked with blood), chest pain and recurring attacks of pneumonia or bronchitis. Unfortunately, lung cancer is often discovered in advanced stages of the disease, when it is difficult to treat and it is too late to be cured by surgery. Only 13 percent of lung cancer patients live 5 or more years after it is diagnosed.

There are also increased risks for liver, cervical cancer and cancers of the pancreas and kidney. Postmenopausal women who currently smoke have lower bone density than women who do not smoke.

We tend to assume that it is men that have heart attacks but smoking is a major cause of coronary heart disease among women. Nicotine increases the heart rate by 15 - 25 beats per minute and blood pressure goes up by 15 - 25 points. When combined with high blood pressure and high blood cholesterol, smoking multiplies the risk of having a heart attack. Those women smokers who also use oral contraceptives are 10 times more at risk of having a heart attack.

The benefits of not smoking start within days of quitting, and risk is substantially reduced within 1 or 2 years. This immediate benefit is followed by a more gradual reduction in risk to that among nonsmokers by 10 to 15 or more years after cessation. As the carbon monoxide level in your blood decreases, the oxygen level increases.

Another factor that is apparent in the surveys is the association of smoking and depression. This is particularly important among women because they are more likely to be diagnosed with depression than men.

It is felt that women have been extensively targeted in cigarette marketing. Tobacco companies have even produced brands specifically for women. Innumerable ads and promotions are targeted at women and such marketing is dominated by themes of both social desirability and independence, which are conveyed through ads featuring slim, attractive, athletic models.

A high percentage of women stop smoking during pregnancy, both spontaneously and with assistance, than at other times in their lives. Only about one-third of women who stop smoking during pregnancy are still abstinent one year after the delivery. Babies born to women who smoke during pregnancy weigh, on the average, 7 ounces less than babies born to nonsmoking women.

How to quit: first you have to have a reason and then a firm commitment to try. It is no good doing it for someone else; it has to be something you want to do for yourself. Try to avoid negative thoughts about how difficult it might be. List all the reasons you want to quit and review the reasons every day. It sometimes helps to set a target date for quitting - maybe a birthday, your anniversary, or some other day of personal significance. On the day you quit, throw away all your cigarettes and matches, and hide your ashtrays and lighter.

Typical triggers to smoking include working under pressure, feeling blue, finishing a meal, watching television, having a drink and watching someone else smoke. Anticipate these things and prepare to avoid them. Find activities that make smoking difficult. Exercise, drink more fluids, get plenty of rest and avoid fatigue. Avoid places where smoking is permitted. Reduce your consumption of alcohol, which often stimulates the desire to smoke. When you do get the urge try and remember why and avoid placing yourself in that situation again.

Many people who are considering quitting, especially women, are concerned about gaining weight. Quitting does not necessarily result in weight gain. About one-third of ex-smokers gain weight, but another one-third actually loses a few pounds. When ex-smokers gain weight, it is usually because they eat more to give them something to do with their hands. On average, expect to gain anywhere from 5 to 20 pounds. Your weight gain can be minimal if you eat low-fat foods and exercise.


Heart to Heart with Hillary

Dear Hillary,

While it appears that everyone enjoys your column (except perhaps those writers who cannot spell, I notice), do they honestly think they are going to get “professional” advice, or are they just in it for the laugh too? What do you think? It has intrigued me for some time and I really do want to see what you think of it from your side of the fence.

The Enquirer

Dear Enquirer,

What an interesting character you have, Enquirer. From my side of the fence, indeed! Just where do you think I am when I write my replies, Petal? In some sort of zoo, perhaps? And are you on the outside looking in - or are you on the inside looking out? Any advice column such as this has writers who try their best to honestly and sincerely answer the queries as they are presented. If the tone of the letter is serious, then it gets answered in the same way. If, however, it is flippant, then it gets replied to like the way this one was!

Dear Hillary,

This is a real problem. I am in love with two beautiful Thai girls. Both of them work in the same bar, so it is difficult for me to favour one over the other, and I really cannot make up my mind just which one I should settle on. Even taking either one out of the bar without the other knowing would be hard. Have you any tips for a young man in my situation? I am serious and want this relationship to last (with the right one). But how do I find which one it is. What tests can I do? By the way, I am a well endowed and energetic man, so I need to have a “stayer” if you can understand me.

Perplexed

Dear Perplexed,

There’s lots you can do. For a start, you can take both out for the evening together and let them scratch each other’s eyes out. Select the one who can still see at the end. Or alternatively, you can get them to weigh all their gold chains and necklaces. The one with the most gold is obviously smarter than the other, but do not worry overly so, Perplexed. Both of them are obviously smarter than you, my well endowed little Petal. The endowment does not stretch as far as the brain, it seems. Pity that. If it did, you wouldn’t be wasting Hillary’s time with self-serving fatuous letters such as yours.

Dear Hillary,

I read all these letters from dejected and disappointed males who have found they have been ripped off by some girl somewhere in Pattaya. Surely the answer for the next wave of unsuspecting males is for them to run some sort of security check on the girl of their dreams. There are places that will do this sort of service locally. I ran a check on my girl and found that she was ripping me off behind my back while I was working overseas. I saved much more money than it cost. It must be a thought, surely? You would have to agree.

Safety Sam

Dear Safety Sam,

Credit checks are done by banks who give loans, security checks are done by companies with industrial secrets to hide, but are the males who come to Pattaya ready to pay for “lovers” checks? With “affairs of the heart” reason goes out the window, Sam. We are not talking about a commodity here - we are talking about that emotion called love, one of the strongest driving forces in the world. A force that has sparked revolutions and wars. Remember that the famous Thai tale, the Ramakien is the love story of how Rama spent many years striving to get his wife Sita back, even though it took battles and destruction to do it. Logic does not come into it. You are too logical, Sam. I hope you and the bank manager will be very happy with each other.

Dear Hillary,

Are there any other people like me for whom bartering to buy anything is a process which I agony over. I really would just prefer to know the price and pay for it, but my friends all tell me that you have to barter as it is an accepted part of trade in Asia. What can I do, Hillary? There must be more people like me.

Annie

Dear Agonized Annie

Simple! You can just pay the first asking price and live with the knowledge that you have been ripped off and the shopkeeper thinks you are a fool. Or you can shop only in large supermarkets which have fixed prices. Then of course, you can send the maid out to do the shopping for you. There are some aspects of living in Asia which are part of the lifestyle here. There are similar kinds of “ethnic” practices in other countries, like queuing in the United Kingdom, or going mad over the Super Bowl in America. Learn to like it, Annie, or be prepared to accept whatever the maid comes home with. The choice is yours. This is not the western world.


Grapevine

Why English is so difficult

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox becomes oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we may mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns and he, his and him, but imagine the feminine she, shis and shim.

No money for you

A farang is having trouble leaving Thailand after giving all his assets to various unaccountable charities. He met Lucky, the girl of his dreams, in a horizontal leisure center not far from the Soi Yodsak joy bars. Romance soon bloomed and the farang found himself funding the hip operations of miscellaneous family members as well as a specially adapted motorbike for Lucky’s brother who had only one leg. Lucky herself succeeded in emptying the farang’s local bank account and cashing all his traveler’s cheques. At long last, the bankrupt farang wanted to leave for the airport and asked Lucky for the cab fare and the airport departure tax. However, she said she had no money for items like that as she needed to buy food for her four hungry children.

Good value Apex

Concerned about rising prices throughout Asia and particularly in Pattaya? You can still be comfortably accommodated and well fed in Pattaya for under 700 baht a day. An airconditioned room at the Apex Hotel on Second Road will set you back 450 baht. If you choose to eat the breakfast and evening meal buffets at 85 baht and 149 baht respectively, you could survive almost indefinitely and without any substantial grumbles. The breakfast, by the way, has a full range of cereals, fruit, bacon, eggs and all the trimmings. Coffee and tea are available in unrestricted amounts. Recommended by GEOC (Grapevine Eating Out Collective).

The better alternative

An architect, an artist and a computer programmer were discussing whether it was better to have a wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress because of the passion and mystery he found there. The computer programmer, however, said that he preferred to have both. “Both?” queried his friends. “Yes,” said the programmer, “If you have a wife and a mistress, they’ll each assume you are spending time with the other woman, leaving you plenty of time to mess about on the computer.”

Legal eagle

KY asks whether you still have to leave the country even though you are found not guilty of an offence by the Thai courts. The answer is ‘Yes’ but you will not be under formal deportation and will not spend the final days in the police station cells. By the time you are found not guilty in court, your visa will almost surely have expired. The police will normally give you two weeks or so to leave the country under your own steam. Finally, you will be liable for overstay charges at the airport unless you have obtained through your lawyer a letter explaining why you are late leaving. People found not guilty will not normally have a problem re-entering the country, although Thailand along with all other countries in the world reserves the right to blacklist without going into the detail.

More English anomalies

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

We must polish the Polish furniture.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

The insurance is invalid for an invalid.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

Upon seeing a tear in the painting I shed a tear.

There was a row amongst oarsmen about how to row.


Antiques, are they genuine? Signatures and attributions

by Apichart Panyadee

Once the material has been established as ivory it may still be necessary to consider the matter of attribution in some detail before deciding a carving is altogether genuine. East is East and West is West and the twain certainly does not meet over the attitude toward imitation. The 18th and 19th century netsuke-shi were not regarded as artists but as craftsmen of a lower order. Only rarely did they achieve any recognition for their skills. As such, they frequently did not sign their work, particularly in the 18th century. Those who did achieve a degree of fame were unashamedly copied by their contemporaries. Sometimes the imitators included the famous signature, but often they did not.

A modern resin netsuke. The chip on the prow has exposed the white, glass-like material.

A truly successful carver was most likely unable to supply the total demand for his work and would employ pupils who would copy the master’s work as closely as possible. The student would start with roughing out the shapes until he was skilled enough to undertake the whole carving on its own. Occasionally a pupil would subsequently set up his own shop, but many continued to work in a master’s studio. As a result, there were not only a great many unsigned pieces, but pieces were originally signed in ways that can now be extremely confusing.

The Japanese, as in the West, have a surname (written first) and a given name. But these names are not always their working names. It was much more common to adopt a professional name which could be changed several times throughout a craftsman’s life. Kaigyokudo Masatsugu, for example, signed variously; Masatsugu, Kaigokudo, Kaigyoku and Kaigokusai. He also used an adoptive family name. A pupil would adopt one character of his master’s name, which aids the tracing of a particular school, but overall it is difficult to attribute all but the greatest carving with certainty.

The base of the same boat showing the molded signature “Tomochika” and the age cracks of the original model.

The matter is complicated by the Japanese love of travel within their country. The carvers would have been influenced by work from other centers that they passed through. Attributing netsuke to a particular artist working in a particular center is therefore fraught with difficulties. All that we can do is look for likelihoods. The signature may provide some clues. Perhaps the first character is badly engraved and hesitantly formed, the second slightly better, the third better still, and so on. This would indicate the trepidation with which the forger embarked upon his work and his increasing confidence.

There is a trend in connoisseurship to make the mistake of believing that a netsuke that is carved by a pupil in the style of his master and bearing his signature is in some way less powerful or inventive than one might expect from the master. Many feel that if the work is even partly done by a pupil that it is the work of a follower and thereby less a work of art, or an outright forgery. But we must remember that great artists do not always turn out masterpieces. The muse deserts them, they have off days, and financial pressures often enforce second rate work. One has only to look at some of the rubbish turned out by Picasso to see the truth of this, but no one doubts his standing as a major artist of the 20th century.

There seems to be a preference for signed netsuke, over the unsigned, although the quality may be no better. But the preference is sufficient to tempt fakers to indulge in a little “attribution” and sign an unsigned piece. This may spoil a good piece as most collectors, when told that their perfectly genuine Tomatada bore a later signature, would rate it less highly. It goes without saying that only the signatures of major artists are liable to be forged.


Animal Crackers: Red Bellied Black Snake

by Mirin E. McCarthy

Snakes Alive!

I was born and bred in Australia of Irish ancestry and my father taught me the ways of the bush. Amazingly, his father, an Irish Catholic immigrant in the 1911 Irish potato famine quickly learned the habits of the Aussie creatures. As a policeman in the outback Queensland town of Bananna (where Dad was born) his father taught all his 7 children the lore of their adopted country.

Even though urbanised city girls, our entire family spent every available opportunity either camping, bushwalking or on seaside holidays. In addition to campfire cooking, Dad taught us the names of all the trees, animals, reptiles and birds as well as their habits.

Now Aussie men generally are paranoid about all snakes whether venomous or not and believe it is their God given duty to bludgeon them all to death at every opportunity, or blast them into the hereafter with shotguns. This macho behaviour did not extend to our family, though Dad did have a healthy respect for the wildlife, especially in breeding season. Perhaps there is some truth in the rumour that Saint Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland so they went to Australia and became policemen.

My first encounter with snakes was at Lone Pine Sanctuary, some forty-five years ago when my sister made a beeline to cuddle the koalas, I just had to have a photo with a (milked) taipan draped around my neck. I was twisted even as a child.

I can still picture the day I came toe to snout with a red bellied black snake. My father was always a bit of a larrikin and we had been traipsing through the bush at Gold Creek for hours, with Dad constantly teasing us by calling, “Watch out there’s a spider” and “Careful there’s a goanna!” So when he said, “Don’t move there’s a snake!” I just laughed and walked on.

I was instantly shocked when Dad grabbed me by the arm and threw me four feet away behind him. Coiled, head raised and ready to strike was a glistening black snake that I would have certainly trodden on. Now red bellied blacks are not extremely venomous except to the elderly and small children and they are usually shy creatures who slide away at the first opportunity. This, however, was summer nesting season and she was on her nest.

My mother sardonically related the tale of ‘the boy who called wolf’ on the way back and I learned a huge lesson to always watch where I put my big flat feet when walking through the bush.

Some facts to ease anxiety if planning a trip to the Land Down Under

The following is from Brian Bush, herpetologist. SNAKES Harmful & Harmless - specialising in reptile education.

“Australia’s snakes are the most venomous only if you are a mouse. That’s right, when anyone refers to the strength of the snakes’ venom they are using the LD50 data (applicable to mortality in mice test injected with venom). So are you a man or a mouse!

Only 34 deaths have occurred due to snakes Australia wide in 20 years between 1980-2000.

Although 2,000-3,000 people are believed bitten by snakes each year in Australia, less than 200 require antivenom treatment.

Many more people die from bee’s stings and motor vehicle accidents than snakebite.

No one has ever died from snakebite in Australia after correct pressure bandage and immobilisation first aid has been applied.

With appropriate footwear, an awareness of snakes poisonous and not, and bush walking instead of running, there is no need to worry about snakes.”


Social Commentary by Khai Khem

House guests

I am endowed with friends and family who have twin diseases: a love of travel and a penchant for hospitality. Both are incurable. Of course when I travel I am the grateful recipient of both. But since I live in Pattaya, this is a disastrous combination when the tables are turned. Everyone wants to come to Pattaya. I have never lived in another city as popular a destination for friends and relatives as this famous sea-side resort. However, my work demands the occasional need for solitude. I also try to keep regular hours and an orderly life with time to read and all the other advantages that burying myself in my home office allows. But after years in Pattaya, I have found that burial doesn’t work. Someone is always trying to exhume me.

When I first moved out of Bangkok, I was given a “going away” party and a prophecy of things to come in the form of a visitor’s book. Of course I never used it. I should have. During my first year in Jomtien Beach I had a total of 7 weeks to myself out of a possible fifty two. Visitors not only arrived almost every weekend from Bangkok, but they flew in from all parts of the world. And they have been streaming in ever since. This is not a complaint. But it does qualify me to comment on the joys of sharing one’s home with a procession of visitors. It may also qualify me for a job in a busy hotel.

When guests occupy a large part of daily life, there is every reason to include them in the domestic budget along with other regular expenses such as hiring an extra maid and the liqueur and laundry. Also, when you consider house guests as an item of expenditure, it is difficult to avoid the same criteria that you would to any significant investment, such as a car or a new wing on the family home. So you begin to look at servicing costs, value for money, as well as more technical details, like the ability to start the car in the morning. These will vary of course. All guests are not created equal.

At the top of the list is the guest who is bound to you by ties of blood, with a permanent claim on your spare room and visiting rights to your most comfortable chair, the cigars you were saving for Christmas, and your stock of malt whiskey that was brought through duty-free on your last business trip. This is of course, the privileged figure; the Relative. Now he or she may be an impoverished cousin from Arkansas, a sporting uncle on the run from his bookie, a mother-in -law, or a recently divorced sister. The precise relationship doesn’t matter. It has something to do with the genes.

Then we have what I call the waifs. The phone rings and the caller and his companion have found themselves stranded without hotel reservations. Would it be possible to squeeze them in for just a night? The night turns into two nights, and then a week. It’s Chinese New Year and every hotel room is booked solid. Gosh. Who would have thought?

The indispensable executive seems to be my most frequent visitor. Within minutes of coming through the door he is on the phone to his office in London. He’s been away from his desk for all of 14 hours, but God knows what might have happened. A management reshuffle engineered by one of the accountants, a client in distress, the empire crumbling without the emperor? He spends his vacation with my phone sprouting from his ear and is reluctant to leave the house because I don’t have an answering machine.

Last month I had a friend visit from Paris. He’s a frequent guest and never carries any small change. I refer to him as the “man with the indestructible banknotes”. All he ever travels with is a fist full of high denominational currency. He knows from experience that when you are just buying a newspaper, a packet of cigarettes or a few bottles of beer that most Thai shops are not prepared to deal with foreign money. All through the week I picked up the tab as we went along, while he promised to settle up since he left his cash at home. The day of reckoning was postponed by a series of maneuvers, and the banknotes remained intact.

My American friends come a very long way to see me, for which I am truly grateful and always delighted. The first two or three days we have a wonderful time. They binge on Thai food, drink and make merry, take the sun and gleefully partake in Pattaya’s rowdy nightlife. Then they start to drop like flies. They are what I affectionately call my “virus victims”. They insist something in the curried crab gave them a stomach bug, or perhaps it was the Third World water. They retire to bed and call feebly for beef broth, refusing to admit the virus is nothing more than their delicate digestive system rebelling against the quantities of beer they have been drinking and the late nights spent carousing. A couple of days in the hospital usually do the trick. Recovered and 20 lbs lighter, their hand tailored suits fit better and they always book a return visit.

My Bangkok friends are cagey. They just drop in and announce they “knew” I wouldn’t mind if they brought a few friends for lunch. Lunch for four is stretched to lunch for eight. Then it becomes apparent I have been chosen to divert the strangers for the afternoon while my friends slip away to shop. I mentally calculate how many for breakfast, break out the straw pallets and nudge the living room furniture to the wall, happy to see someone has brought a guitar and a bottle of whiskey. At least these guests won’t need an ambulance for diarrhea or sunstroke. Nor will I have to max-out my credit cards for organized entertainment and expensive distractions. House guests! Don’t you just love ‘em?


Roll over Rover: What you will need to train your dog

by C. Schloemer

Before you start training you will need a few tools. The basic training tools will be a collar, leash, chew toys and bones, gates, crates, and a bed.

The buckle collar

This collar is a staple. It fits around your dog’s neck and carries its identification and inoculation tags. Whether your dog is two months or two years old, whatever the weight or size, it needs a collar and the tags attached.

Training collars

The owner will use a training collar only when the dog is on a leash. The only dogs exempt from this rule are the toy breeds and puppies under 16 weeks of age.

Here’s a tip: you should avoid using training collars on puppies under 16 weeks because their necks are still forming. Jerking or pulling on the collar can cause too much stress to their developing trachea and could cause permanent damage. Also puppies under the age of 16 weeks cannot understand the concept of being corrected.

There are three types of training collars. Choosing one will depend on your dog. Find a collar that works for you and your pet.

The original training collar

It is called the original training collar simply because it has been around a long time. Sometimes referred to as a chain or choke chain collar, if used properly it should never choke your dog. Choking and restraint will only aggravate problems. Most people don’t now that it is the sound of the collar, not the restraint, which teaches. Every owner surely will want to use this collar correctly rather than hear his dog hacking during walks, but most people just don’t know how to make the collar work.

Put the collar on correctly

Put in on backwards and it will cause your dog a lot of discomfort. When the chain collar is fitted improperly, the links will catch in a vise-like hold around your dog’s neck and do exactly what the collar is NOT supposed to do; choke. Getting it on right, however, is not a big challenge. First decide what side you want your dog to walk on, left or right. Take one loop of the collar and slide the chain slack through it. The chain now should form the letter P. Holding it out, stand in front of your dog and with the P sill facing in your direction, slide it over your dog’s head as you praise the dog.

To check the result, slide the rings up behind the dog’s ears and stand at his left side. Grasp the movable ring and pull it towards your leg. Does it slide through the stationary loop? That is correct. If it bends over the stationary loop, take it off your dog’s neck and start again.

Mastering the zipper snap

This is the second step with the chain training collar. Once again, it is the SOUND of the collar, not the restraint that teaches. Used properly, a quick snap (which should sound like a zipper) will correct your dog’s impulse to disobey or lead.

Here is an example. My friend and I and his 6 month Collie mix, Jip, are walking in the park. Suddenly we both notice Buster, a Bullmastiff friend sniffing along with its owner trailing along behind. The owner of the mastiff digs in and tries to drag his dog over to us to have a chat. Buster is coughing and cannot catch his breath. Jip, the Collie, however behaves differently. Though she squirms to be with her doggie friend, she is quickly alerted to a zipping sound by her right ear. A sound (rather than a feeling) is coupled with a command, “back” and she is urged to reconsider. She tries once more to pull ahead, but is checked again with a zip. She chooses to wait quietly beside her owner.


A Slice of Thai History: The Iron Horse in Thailand

Part Two 1889-1896

by Duncan Stearn

The Thai government refused, delayed or made it impossible for the British to obtain railway concessions that would lead to the construction of lines between Thailand and Moulmein in Burma or what is now Butterworth in Malaysia.

For example, in 1889, the Thais granted Dunlop a concession for the construction of a rail line between Butterworth and Songkhla, but the terms were so onerous that the British company never started the project.

However, on a more positive note, the Thais, recognising that the main threat to their independence came from France, encouraged German and British economic investment, at the expense of the French.

By encouraging both the Germans and the British, the Thais hoped to prevent either power becoming economically dominant, especially with regard to railway construction. They were also at pains to ensure that any and all concessions had Bangkok as the focal point, being either the terminal or the start-off point.

In 1890, a Royal Railways Department was established under the directorship of Karl Bethge, a German who had previously been in China as a representative of the German government and the Krupps Company.

The Railways Department considered four proposals for the construction of rail lines in Thailand and accepted two. The first was a German proposal for a line to run between Bangkok and Nakhon Ratchasima (Khorat), while the second was a plan put together by local European business people for a 20-kilometre light railway to run between Bangkok and Paknam.

The new department rejected two British proposals for a line between Bangkok and Chiang Mai.

The cost of the line between Bangkok and Paknam was a relatively cheap 400,000 baht and with King Chulalongkorn contributing half the amount, and the railway was soon constructed.

Thus, Thailand’s first rail line opened for business in April 1893.

The Bangkok to Khorat line, running some 264 kilometres, was originally priced at around 16 million baht. The Thais decided to operate a joint government-private enterprise; however, in the finish the entire cost of the project was met from government coffers.

Private tenders were called, with only British and German contractors submitting bids. In keeping with their policy of balancing both German and British influence, the contract was awarded, in December 1891, to a Briton named George Campbell, then working in Malaya.

Construction of the Bangkok-Khorat rail line commenced in March 1892 and the first section, to Ayutthaya, was completed in 1896, with the first train leaving Bangkok on March 26 that year. Advisers to the Thai government suggested that the line to Khorat be further extended to Nong Khai on the Mekong River as a counter to French imperialist ambitions. However, King Chulalongkorn decided to terminate the line at Khorat because of a desire to avoid incurring a large foreign loan. The monarch saw debt as more of a threat to Thai sovereignty than the French.

Interestingly, very few Thais were involved in the preparation of the rail tracks, most of the work being done by Chinese immigrants.


The Message In The Moon: Sun in Leo/Moon in Cancer

by Anchalee Kaewmanee

The stout hearted man

Self acceptance is the greatest gift endowed to this particular Sun-Moon combination. Unlike most Leos, these natives do not feel the compulsion to prove their greatness to the world. They are confident and self-assured, and others think highly of them because they think highly of themselves. All of this is enhanced by their acute sensitivity and compassion for others influenced by the Cancer Moon. Creative and highly emotional, open-minded and above all, imaginative, these people can achieve almost anything they want to do with the proper motivation.

What they may lack, for various reasons, is driving ambition. Before we address the area of ambition, we must allow that a peaceful existence without self-doubt and constant stress is nothing to belittle. It is in fact, a state that many of us search for and never find.

However, because of their unquestioning self acceptance and lack of inner conflict, the Leo-Cancer can run the risk of settling for far less than they are capable of accomplishing. Since their nature is free of many of the hang-ups and much of the inner turmoil that plagues so many others, they risk adopting an attitude of smug complacency. Often the Leo-Cancer is too easily contented, and that which is pleasing interests this native more than that which is rewarding and fulfilling. Thus in some cases, an individual born into this sign often allows their potential to lie dormant, and their special talents go untapped. If this is so, they have all of the attributes at their disposal to overturn this situation.

They are also very proud individuals. This can be both strength and a weakness. A highly evolved Leo-Cancer has a lot of self respect and that reinforces his or her inner strength to overcome obstacles. A less favorable scenario arises when the individual is overly proud. That pride may lead to arrogance and the inability to obtain enough humility to learn a craft or develop inherent talents which need to be successfully explored in order to be developed. These natives need to take stock often and see if their talents are really being utilized to their fullest extent. Often times they are involved in activities or jobs which do not use the full potential of these natives and their many fine attributes are being wasted.

Charm, intuition and subtlety combine to give people born into this sign excellent business acumen. They are intelligent and possess enough organizational skills to run a company at the executive level. However, their unique imagination and originality are more suited to creative fields, usually in the field of drama, and visual media. Many Leo-Cancers excel as counselors, psychologists, and teachers and are often very successful in administrative duties or running charitable enterprises. Statistics show many accomplished actors in Hollywood and television are Leos, and many have Moon signs in Cancer as well. The legitimate stage also harbors more than its share of Leos. This Sun sign is a born actor.

A secure and tranquil domestic life is very important to this combination’s overall happiness. As with all natives of Moon in Cancer, these people need the comfort and stability of a home base of operations as a point of anchor. They are all oriented toward family life and will take great pride in their mate and their children. When the domestic side of life is disrupted or in chaos, this sign may find the rest of the components of life falling apart as well. Harmony on the home front is essential to these natives and they will do much to retain it.

Highly romantic and idealistic, the Leo-Cancer knows how to give and take in love. That natural curiosity will no doubt lead him or her through many romantic affairs before they finally choose a partner and settle down. Once they do, however, they are loyal and devoted, and they can always be counted on to cherish and support their loved ones.


Coins of the Realm: Thai coins with low mintages

by Jan Olav Aamlid
President - House of the Golden Coin (http://www.thaicoins.com)

In 1997 the Treasury Department issued a 200 baht coin in silver and a 2,000 baht coin in gold to commemorate the 50th Anniversary of the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF).

The obverse of both the coins has the portrait of King Bhumibol Adulyadej with the legend “Thailand” on the left, “The Ninth Reign” on the right, and the denomination below.

The reverse of the gold 2,000 baht depicts in the center a Thai girl sitting and writing a script with a slate and a tray on the floor. On the left is the symbol of UNICEF and the denomination “2,000 BAHT”. Around the top border are the legends FOR THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD” and “THAILAND”.

The reverse of the silver 200 baht shows three Thai children sitting and playing a game called “Maak Keb” with the symbol of UNICEF, the legend “THAILAND” and the year “1997” above and the denomination below. Around the lower border is the same legend as on the gold coin.

The Royal Norwegian Mint minted the coins in PROOF quality and the coins arrived in Thailand on the 25th of June 1998. After inspection the coins were sold by the Treasury Department to the public for 5,000 baht for the gold 2,000 baht coin and 1,100 baht for the silver 200 baht coin. Abroad, Paramount Coin Corporation (USA) marketed the coins.

According to the certificates, 15,000 pieces of the gold coin were issued while 25,000 pieces of the silver coin were issued. The total mintage up to September 2000 was only 1,290 PC for the gold coin and 2,123 for the silver coin according to the book “Coinage of the Rattanakosin Era A.D. 1982-1999”. The final mintage before the program was closed last year, and only 1,700 coins were struck in gold and 2,903 coins struck in silver.

This is a very low figure, probably the lowest, for modern Thai coins. This was a program not only marketed in Thailand but in the whole world. Overseas the coins could be bought individually or on subscription with other coins issued to commemorate the 50th Anniversary of UNICEF.

In 1981, coins to commemorate the International Year of the Child were issued. Here the mintage for the gold coin was 4,892 PC and the silver was 4,947 PC. After the coins were sold out from the distributors the second hand market was immediately much higher.

There are several theories why the sales of the 1997 coin did not even reach the amount of coins sold in 1981, with fewer collectors operating in the market at that time. The main distributor of these coins in Europe closed down their Modern Coin Department, and a new distributor was appointed. Sales might have been delayed, and even cancelled.

The coins were dated 1997, and only arrived in Thailand a year later, so the coin was not really a “new” issue. Also, many people in Thailand were strongly suffering from the financial crises that started in 1997, and did not put their priority into buying coins.

But for the ones that did buy the coins, it is a happy story. At the last meeting of the Numismatic Association of Thailand, the 200 baht coin from 1997, with an issue price of 1,100 baht was sold for 2,800 baht.