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  COLUMNS

HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:
 
Family Money: Getting real about real estate - Part 3
 
The Computer Doctor

Successfully Yours: Alan Craig

Life Force: Terrible Twos
 
Snap Shots: Why we shoot 35 mm!
   
Modern Medicine: Anhedonia - it ain’t a fun time!

Heart to Heart with Hillary
 
Grapevine

Dining Out: Cafe New Orleans - the Cajun occasion
  
Lotus Eaters: The Leaning Tower of Pisa

Down The Iron Road: Engines Of War 1 - Britain
 
Coins of the Realm: Major Auction for Roman Coins
 
Animal Crackers: Siamese Cats

Family Money: Getting real about real estate - Part 3

By Leslie Wright

In the past couple of weeks I have offered my opinion on buying property in Pattaya, first with regard to protecting your interests, and secondly from the economics’ standpoint of cost-effectiveness of renting versus buying.

Coincidentally in the interim, there have been a couple of articles in the national press about fraudulent practices that even I was unaware of.

I have also received several enquiries from potential real-estate buyers, who are concerned not only about shady practices that might affect them, but also about the taxes they might be burdened with.

Let’s look first at just one of the shady practices that has apparently been going on - at least around Bangkok.

Earth moving developments

It has been reported that, in more than one instance, a piece of prime real-estate in a good location was shown to a prospective buyer, and a price agreed. When the land registration deed for the newly-acquired property was subsequently examined, however, the location of the land on the deed turned out to be in quite another area from what the buyer thought he was buying. Typically, that land was nowhere near the land shown, nor anywhere near its value.

Let me hasten to add that I am not suggesting that this practice has been followed by any Pattaya real-estate firm or property developer, nor any individual seller.

But it is curious that one enquiry I’ve received recently was from a couple (a farang married to a perfectly respectable and charming Thai lady - an exception to the typical relationship in Pattaya which I was warning against in the first of this series of articles) who were in the process of buying part of a local housing development, but were experiencing great difficulty getting straight answers from the Thai developer to quite reasonable and straightforward questions.

One of these questions was why the developer was selling a piece of land which happened to have a house situated on it, but there would be no paperwork or deeds pertaining to the house itself.

There may be a perfectly reasonable explanation for this apparently anomalous transaction. But not being in the real-estate business I have not as yet been able to discover the answer (which I suspect has to do with paying taxes - or rather not paying them). I’m sure the Editor will receive a flurry of letters from local real-estate firms regarding this practice, and I look forward to their explanations.

The development in question may indeed be perfectly legitimate, and the Thai developer merely a very shrewd businessman (or rather businesswoman in this case) who was looking to maximise her return from her investment. Or avoid taxes.

However, why she would be unwilling or unable to show the clients a copy of the land title deed (which is a public document available from the Land Registry) is certainly cause for concern in light of the published case mentioned earlier.

Taxing issues

As I pointed out in the first of this series of articles, under the current land ownership laws foreigners cannot own land or houses in their own names. (This may change if a proposed bill is ever passed into law - but how long that may take is anyone’s guess; the last time property laws changed here it took seven years.)

Hence many foreigners by-pass the protectionist law by purchasing a house through a company. (I gather the Thai authorities are making noises about passing legislation to close this loophole also; but that may also take a long time - although when it comes to self-protection, laws seem to be passed here with greater alacrity than when granting concessions. But that’s yet another example of TIT - “This is Thailand,” to borrow Mr Trink’s favourite phrase.)

What many buyers (especially foreigners) fail to take into account are the taxes that become due upon transfer of a property title, however the property is purchased, and no matter whether through a company or in their girl- or boy-friend’s name.

Three taxes will have to be paid when the property is bought or sold. But because of the peculiar local system of taxing property on a rather arbitrary assessed value rather than true market value, these could amount to as much as 30% of the purchase price.

When a tax bill arrives - often some two or three months after the sale is completed - this could come as a nasty shock to a buyer, since the seller often neglects to mention this liability during the negotiations. (And after all, why should they tell you if you don’t already know or ask? As in all business transactions here or indeed anywhere, caveat emptor is the rule: Let the buyer beware.)

In addition, if the house is purchased through a company, one has to bear in mind that corporate tax is higher than personal tax, and the cost of setting up the company has to be considered as part of the initial investment outlay, even if this is a relatively modest additional cost - perhaps around $1,000 all told.

An investment or a millstone?

Buying a property to live in is one thing; buying it as an investment is another, whether in Thailand or indeed anywhere.

In the depressed property market currently prevailing in Thailand, homeowners could suffer a considerable capital loss if they sell their properties for what many would regard as true market value. Naturally enough, they are reluctant to do so. This is one reason why property prices have not come down as much as was anticipated after the currency crisis of 1997.

If the homeowner bought the property on a mortgage or financing arrangement, the loss will be compounded by the interest he or she will have paid in the meantime, which until very recently was inordinately high - not to mention the taxes that may have to be paid on the property, either by the seller or the buyer.

Thus if you are looking at property purely from an investment perspective, it could take many years for the overall costs to be recovered. Even in developed markets, property values over the long term just about match inflation.

In the meantime, there are all sorts of ‘charges’ on the investment to be considered: local taxes, insurance, maintenance & repair - which could be a major expense should the tenants run amok and trash the place, as recently happened to some friends of mine right here in Pattaya!

I know of other cases where a property was bought as a long-term investment, and has become a millstone round the owner’s neck. The property is sitting idle with no prospective buyers in sight, no rental income, but still incurring a tax liability each year. It is therefore a depreciating capital asset which is a drain on resources, rather than an income-generating investment.

At the end of the day, it is entirely up to you whether you buy or rent your home, and this is often an emotive rather than rational decision.

But after taking into consideration the significant capital outlay, bureaucratic complications, peripheral costs, taxes and inflexibility, my advice would have to be “Rent don’t buy.”Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments. If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, contact Leslie directly by fax on (038) 232522 or e-mail [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.

Editor’s note: Leslie sometimes receives e-mails to which he is unable to respond due to the sender’s automatic return address being incorrect. If you have sent him an e-mail to which you have not received a reply, this may be why. To ensure his prompt response to your enquiry, please include your complete return e-mail address, or a contact phone/fax number.

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The Computer Doctor

by Richard Bunch

From Alan Collins, Canada: My time in Thailand was up a few weeks back, and we had to come back here to Canada. While I was there, I very much enjoyed reading your columns in the Pattaya Mail.

I would like to be able to buy or rent VCDs (video CDs) and or DVDs (digital video discs) in Thailand when we come back in 8 months, and run them on our condo room’s 19 inch Philips PAL system TV. I am considering buying, here or in Thailand, a used notebook computer, say a Pentium 133 Mhz, modem 56kV90 etc., so that I can connect up to the Internet, and I feel a Pentium 133 is adequate to for email and text news, and weather charts off the Internet. Our condo has Loxley Information as their Internet Service Provider. Cable TV has not yet reached the Casa Espana Condo. If I buy a used notebook here, what else do I need to allow us to watch movies. Do we need to buy a separate stand alone DVD player with its own power supply that will also run VCD CDs, or should I arrange to equip my Notebook with a DVD drive built into it.

Do I need a video card between the computer DVD ROM drive, or stand alone DVD ROM drive, and the television set? To further complicate matters, we spend our summers with my wife’s grown-up children in Finland (also a PAL system country). By the way, we live in Canada, and would any of these VCD and or DVD CD movies, and new hardware I have to buy, work here in Canada? I really need to see some movies when we get back to Thailand, as we do not understand the 6 or 8 Thai TV channels. I know there are also CNN, Australian, and Deutche Welle channels on out MATV system at the condo, but they do not show any movies, and I really miss them, they are good entertainment for us. I know this may be a tough problem to solve, and in order not to have you spend time on it, I tried my best to look at the archived copies of previous Pattaya Mail PC Doctor columns to try to find computer types who might have the answer, and who left email addresses. Could not access your column in the back issues? Is there a way to look at back issues of Pattaya Mail, to see your previous columns?

I hate to lay this on you, but I have gone around and around here in Canada with this problem, and do not seem to be getting anywhere. I even went to see the Toshiba Canada head office people, and they further confused things for me by telling me Canada is in zone 1, Thailand is another zone, and Finland is another zone. Zones have something to do with copyright I believe. I spent many hours running around Pattaya trying to buy a used Pentium 133 or so notebook, but could not find one.

Computer Doctor replies: So many questions. Anyway I think I can give you a fairly brief answer, which will allow you to make a valued decision. If you do buy a Pentium 133 notebook PC, bear in mind that you are buying into old technology and that if anything should go wrong with it in the future then it is likely that even if parts were available, it would be uneconomic to repair. Also whist it will be adequate for typing the odd letter and getting your e-mail, it certainly would not be man-enough to play DVDs. New notebooks with PIII processors are available with DVDs and this could be a solution. I think in your case you would be advised to purchase a DVD player, and there are, I believe, companies in Bangkok that will, for a small fee, tweak the player so that you may play DVD CDs that were originally purchased in another zone. The same thing applies to DVD CDs purchased here in Thailand; the home player would in all probability need to be tweaked too. There are many ISPs here which are available in Pattaya and when you arrive, it will not be a problem for you to get connected.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or E-mail to [email protected]

Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer Technologies Co., Ltd. Providing professional services which include; website design, turnkey e-commerce solutions, website hosting, domain name registration, computer and peripheral sales service and repairs, networks (LAN & WAN) and IT consulting. Please telephone 038 716 816, e-mail [email protected] or see our website www.act.co.th

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Successfully Yours: Alan Craig

by Mirin MacCarthy

Alan Craig looks like a regular Scot, not the dour miserable sort, but a wee nuggety jovial lad with a philosophical bent and a twinkle in his eye. He is the Managing Director of a company called Survive in Asia.

So what does Alan Craig do to survive? For Alan, perhaps humour is the keystone. “Humour is a large part of my life. It is an excellent tool in social situations and at work to defuse things.” Asking Alan why he landed in Thailand he laughs, “It is the true nature of a Scot to travel. Didn’t you know, people are Scotland’s greatest exports?”

Alan was born in Glasgow in a family of three boys. Glasgow, in those days, had a decidedly shaping influence. It was a post war culture of working class socialism. “What shocks people is that there was still rationing in 1956. A particular memory of mine, when I was five or six, was going to the co-operative society store with our ration books.” No wonder Scots are spendthrift!

Another distinct influence on Alan’s life was education. He was selected for senior secondary schooling. “In those days education was stratified. After the age of 11 you were assessed and were selected for either junior or senior secondary school, which mapped out your whole life.”

After taking his Higher Leaving Certificate, Alan took a job as an electronics technician in nuclear experimentation at Glasgow University. “It was leading edge stuff, designing new electronic transistors, but I realized I should be studying instead of just working there. So I went back to study sociology, psychology and economics for four years.” Like many of his race, he was developing an interest in varied fields, something that would stand him in good stead later.

“It was drummed into us in Scotland that the purpose of knowledge was to learn something. I did what many people of that era did - I came out and fell into teaching.”

Alan taught in Glasgow to become a member of the General Teaching Council, then he travelled to Nigeria, spending 5 years at the Kaduna Polytechnic and 2 years at the Kaduna oil refinery as project head instructor.

In 1982, ten years after graduating, he returned to Scotland, again furthering his education by taking an MBA at Strathclyde University. “Going back to Uni was in the blood, so I did an MBA in International Business Operation. I worked hard and thereby launched my business career.”

Alan then pursued a wide range of jobs in the U.K. He spent some time as Product Development Manager for the American Aldus Corporation, Sales and Marketing Director of Swedish Telub Inforum and General Manager of Mercury Communications (U.K. Telecom).

It was the owner of Mercury Communication wireless cable that became the next influence in Alan’s life, inviting him to Bangkok as Managing Director of their Thailand companies. Alan laughed. “I worked for them for three and a half years. With perfect timing I resigned in May 97, and the Thai Baht collapsed in July 97, but I still went ahead and incorporated my own company ‘Survive in Asia’ in September 97. I had faith.”

Alan moved his business from Bangkok to Banglamung in January this year, and is one of the first companies to develop business survival techniques in, and for, Asia. It appears that he has definitely discovered a ‘need’ and his services are much sought after. “I have just come back from Japan, Hong Kong and Singapore and will be going to Australia next month.” This was not said as a boast, but with an infectious enthusiasm.

Honesty and integrity come high on Alan’s list of personal values. “I think my background would tell you that social values of family and community are important to me. It is important to be honest with yourself and with other people. Just have personal integrity in how you represent yourself to other people. The way you live your life and run your business.”

Success to Alan is not personal trapping. “I am happy if I set out to do something and I achieve it. My goals in life are a narrow band really: to get to the end of my life happily and in good health. I like people; that’s what drives me - the social side, the people side. Business is not as important, other than I do it well.”

Alan’s plans for the future are right here. “I like Thailand, it is right for me. I like what I am doing and the travelling.” With his broad educational background and his Scottish love of travel, he appears to be on the right road to achieving his goals of a fulfilling, happy, healthy life.

After a brief moment of seriousness, his eyes sparkled and that underlying humorous streak came through again. “I have a joke for you. I am the only person in Thailand who is really into vice, because I was Vice Chieftain of the Bangkok St Andrew’s Society and Vice Chairman of the British Chamber of Commerce, Bangkok.”

Expect Alan Craig to be around for a while - he’s irrepressible!

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Life Force: Terrible Twos

by Tracy Murdoch

A common concern for many parents is that their children sometimes refuse food. This happens frequently with children up to five years of age but can occur at any time. It really is a normal part of growing up and is often a way for them to assert their independence. The fact that we make such an issue of it just gives them further ammunition for their battles. Food refusal can be very worrying but children will not harm themselves if they don’t eat enough for a short while. Often they need less food than we think. It may help to think about yourself and that some days you just don’t eat very much.

Establishing good patterns before your child goes to school will help develop your child socially and physically and will give them a great start to healthy eating throughout their lives. Try to ensure that most of the time the snacks and drinks between meals are healthy. Sugary and fatty foods between meals will reduce their appetite (it happens to you too!). Sugary drinks and foods between meals will also harm their teeth. Milk is a great drink but try to limit this to 1pint per day as this can fill them up too. There are several things which can make meal times more like battles but there are some positive things you can do. The following suggestions will seem difficult to do but they will save you some trouble in the long-term:

* Never force a child to eat
* Give small portions and offer more
* Don’t take food away and offer a completely different meal
* Don’t offer new foods while your child is being fussy
* Make meal times relaxed and try to eat with your child
* Have structured meal and snack times rather than “picking”
* Let them make a mess

If any problems seem prolonged and you are worried about weight or growth, contact your health visitor, G.P or Dietitian.

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Snap Shots: Why we shoot 35 mm!

by Harry Flashman

It was the famous photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson who said, “Photography appears to be an easy activity; in fact, it is a varied and ambiguous process in which the only common denominator amongst its practitioners is their instrument.” The instrument he was referring to was, of course, the camera itself.

With the majority of cameras these days being 35 mm, have you ever stopped to wonder just why this became the most popular size for film? After all, photographers since the 1850s have tried all sorts of sizes, from 10"x8", to 5"x4", 120 size - you name it, there have been cameras and film of all types and sizes and formats.

The answer to why the 35 mm size became the most favoured lies in two areas.

The first was the availability of film. Did you know that the first people to use the 35 mm film with perforated edges were not still photographers, but were the original movie makers? In the late 1890s this film was introduced to be used in the burgeoning movie market - so there was good availability of film stock of this format.

However, the first still cameras to utilise this film did not come out till 1913 and there were quite a few brands on offer between 1913 and 1924, but none had really “caught on”.

The milestone in photographic history was the 35 mm camera produced by the German Leica Company that came out in 1925. This had actually been based on a design of 1913 when the prototype was built by Oskar Barnack. Leica refined this and produced an immediate winner with the following specifications - a Focal plane shutter with speeds from 1/25th to 1/500th of a second along with a “fast” f 3.5 lens. The small size, precision and build quality of these cameras made them instantly popular, and began the reputation for highest quality that Leica still enjoys today.

In 1930, Leica improved on the original and coupled rangefinders, even faster shutter speeds and interchangeable lenses came on the scene.

The next company to join this new breed of cameras was Zeiss Ikon who produced the Contax in 1932, which by 1934 had a coupled rangefinder, a separate optical viewfinder and a range of slow shutter speeds as well.

As this “new” 35 mm format became more popular, the next milestone was the introduction of colour slide film. Kodak began producing Kodachrome film in 1935 for 16 mm movie work. This was the first multiple layer colour film and in 1936 this was expanded into the 35 mm format. In fact, the early boxes of Kodachrome used to have printed on them “For use in Retina, Contax and Leica cameras.”

The next major step was the introduction of the Kodacolor process to produce colour prints in 1942 and the future of 35 mm photography was sealed.

After this, when the Japanese avalanche started, the end result is almost a 35 mm camera in every home in the western world. However, we should not forget Oskar Barnack and the early movie makers!

“Short” roll processing

One thing that Harry hates to hear is people saying they haven’t developed their films yet, because they haven’t finished the roll of 36. You lose the fun and spontaneity of getting the pictures back straight after the event and you do risk the chance of spoiling the film if it is left in the camera too long.

The answer? First, shoot more film. Second, you can ask the shop to process only the number of shots you have taken. If the film processor knows what they are doing, they do this in the darkroom and give you back a “short” roll with the undeveloped film that was left.

Ask my favourite girls at Kodak Easy Express near the Made in Thailand Market on Pattaya 2 Road and they can do this for you.

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Modern Medicine: Anhedonia - it ain’t a fun time!

by Dr Iain Corness

We medical people are strange beasts. One thing we certainly love to do is manufacture new and impossible words, just to keep you, the general public, in the dark. Take this week’s heading for example - “Anhedonia”. This literally means not having a good time, but what a mouthful for such a simple concept!

Unfortunately, “Anhedonia” is a very common symptom in young adults. What used to be fun isn’t any more and your teenager will complain of being “bored”.

The worrying factor is that the pundits will tell us that between 15-40% of young adults will show signs of depression and, in Australia at least, 27% of 18-24 year olds have some sort of mental health problem. This is neither a good sign for the individual - or for the society as a whole.

For us “oldies” it is very difficult to understand this problem. Why should anyone, with the full bloom of youth on their side be depressed? Young men are at their peak, still possessing their own teeth and hair, can run a mile, swim, dive and do anything they want. With our old creaking joints, it should be us who are depressed!

But it is not. The number of young males who suicide has tripled in the past three decades with the peak ages being between 20-24. What a waste.

Recognising the early symptoms of depression in young people is not always easy either. Being happy and being sad are parts of “normal” life, so when your teenager has a broken heart over some member of the opposite sex, it does not mean a one way trip to the railway line. However, persistent severe depressive moods are not part of the “normal” spectrum of behaviour. The other complicating factor with teenagers is that they do not always present the classical symptoms and signs of depression as the “adult” population older than 25 years.

One of the presentations is the “I’m bored”. This is true anhedonia, where activities that were once enjoyable are no longer. This includes hobbies, sports and social activities.

Another sign is the “I can’t get to sleep”. The youngster repeatedly cannot get to sleep before 3 or 4 in the morning, and as a consequence sleeps in till 11 in the morning. This results in poor energy levels, attention, concentration and memory. It also plays havoc with school routines.

A well developed depressive may also come up with health risk behaviours. This can be self mutilation, cutting the skin, or burning the forearms with cigarettes and this group includes the use of drugs. The teenagers know the dangers, just as they know the dangers from a glowing cigarette end, but will persist in this behaviour. Of course, with the addictive qualities of the illegal drugs you now have an additional problem as well.

The young person can also express ideas of suicide and death, or may bring this out in essays or poetry. Again a disturbing feature.

Depression in the youth of today is undoubtedly a problem of which all parents should be aware. However, in our topsy-turvy world, it is not easy to distinguish between the normal, exaggerated mood swings of the adolescent and the pathological depths of despair in the suicidally depressed.

I am glad that all of my lot got through the teenage traumas, and that as a parent, I survived them as well!

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Dear Hillary,

Every time I go to get a hair cut the man or woman barber always wants to bend me over in the chair half way through the cut and start thumping my back as some sort of massage. The best the other day was when the man approached me with some sort of vibrating electric motor strapped on his hand and began to try and massage my legs! All I want is a haircut. Where, Oh Hillary, where do I go?

Harry

Dear Hirsute Harry,

Lucky you! What was the address of that shop?

Dear Hillary,

I have just recently come to live in Pattaya with my husband on a two year overseas posting. Normally back home I like to be fairly independent and drive myself everywhere, but I am a little afraid of the traffic here. My husband’s company supplies a driver, but I don’t like to think of him sitting around in the heat while I do my shopping. Do you think it is safe enough for Western women to drive here and at night too? My husband says I shouldn’t bother and it doesn’t matter, that’s what the driver’s there for. What do you think?

Timid Tessa

Dear TT,

Your husband is right. If you have a driver be eternally grateful. Thai drivers really do not mind waiting. One of the bonuses of being a driver is that they get paid to sleep while they wait. Yes it is completely safe to drive around Pattaya both day and night compared to Bangkok traffic, which is chaotic and not so much fun. Though, as your husband says, why bother to drive if you have a driver? That is what he is there for. If you are concerned about your independence or the driver being suddenly unavailable, then practise driving here so there’s never a problem.

Dear Hillary,

My problem is that some people are jealous of me. Because of this, they attempt to insult me all the time. What should I do? Should I tell them to leave me alone, should I scream at them, should I hit them? What would be the polite thing to do?

A Person with a Problem

Dear P with a P,

You are beginning to discover that some people can be jealous and spiteful and envious. Jealousy is very destructive, and is “the death watch beetle of the soul.” Remember that, and feel sorry for those people who have not learnt that lesson yet. So what should you do? Simple, dear P with a P, ignore them. By giving them “no response” they have nothing they can fight back with. Never forget that you alone decide what response you make to others. In this case, a large dose of the ignores is best!

Dear Hillary,

My husband has to do a lot of entertaining in his job and we usually do this in some of the restaurants here. My husband likes it but I would prefer to do this at home. Do you think he does not like my cooking?

Kitty Kitchen

Dear Kitty,

How long have you been married? Surely you must know if your husband likes your cooking or not, or have you tried poisoning him? Have you discussed entertaining at home? Communication is the name of the game in marriages. Have you lived here long? You may not be aware that entertaining in Thailand is traditionally done in restaurants and not in people’s homes. It is very rare to get an invitation to a private home.

Dear Hillary,

I have a problem; I am a bit more mature for my age of 15 than other people of 15 or 16. While my friends go out with each other to disco’s, I go out with my parents to fancy dinners. And when I do go to discos, I go with my grown-up friends because I happen to have a lot more older friends, than ones my age. I am always treated as an equal with them and sometimes I also just forget my age. And then when I am at school or together with my friends, I act more like a grown-up than like a 15-year-old. What can I do to, let’s say, decrease my maturity? Or is there anything I can do?

Lost

Dear Lost,

Forget it! Be yourself, do not attempt to decrease your apparent maturity. You can not alter yourself just to keep other people happy. This is a valuable lesson that will be of immense help to you and your future happiness for all of your life. The good news is that your maturity will be appreciated by your true friends. If that doesn’t help, then you could always try wearing diapers!

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GRAPEVINE

A cold snap
An insanely jealous Italian farang is in despair after hiring a local private detective to follow his wife. Pablo Androtti, 56, was convinced that his lovely bride of ten heavenly months, Meeow, was secretly seeing another man. This adulterer was believed to be a hairy Irishman. Pablo paid the detective a total of 60,000 baht but there were no results to speak of. Hairy Irish alas are thin on the ground this season. Finally, the would be Sherlock Holmes telephoned Pablo to say he had finally caught the obscene couple naked in a hotel bedroom. As proof, he had taken two photographs after borrowing a set of ladders from the bemused hotel management. Unfortunately, he had then fallen off the ladder whilst demounting. So there was a hospital bill of 15,000 baht to pay. Pablo agreed to pay this sum at the hospital reception where there would be a promised brown envelope awaiting him. He breathlessly ripped it open. One photograph was a lopsided shot of a hairy hand reaching for a Coke in the refrigerator. The other fuzzily displayed two persons of indeterminate sex showering behind a thick plastic curtain. The hospital bursar thanked him for the 15,000 which was to pay for “your friend’s root canal treatment.”

Around Sin City
A blatant transvestite of uncertain morality has been arrested after being reported most scantily dressed on Beach Road by shocked oil riggers on holiday. The trannie explained that he had misunderstood an article he had read in a glossy magazine which stated that the most fashionable thing to wear at the moment was “a sequined ball dress”… A man accused in court of murdering his unusually wealthy wife was asked by counsel how old she was. He said he could not remember whether she was twenty eight or twenty nine. In answer to the next question, he replied they had definitely lived together for thirty four years… In one of the strangest animal stories to hit Pattaya since an Alsatian dog, Adolf, was fined for not wearing a crash helmet, a Sri Racha farmer has been irretrievably mangled by his female pet buffalo named Serene Ivy. Investigations revealed that the farmer had recently bought a new tractor on which he lavished great care and attention. The buffalo, believing that her master had found a new favorite, tragically decided to take matters into her own hooves.

Legal eagle
Farang HJ is distressed because he can’t use a three million baht luxury condo he bought in 1995 as part of his ten million baht lump sum to buy Thai residency. The reason, of course, is that his condo purchase is not “new” money. Old investments like this don’t count… Reader WA, who is involved in a civil action case, asks whether he can change his slothful lawyer in mid stream as it were. Probably yes, although the first lawyer may have asked you to sign a contract which could be restrictive or prove to be expensive. Another problem is that the first lawyer may prove uncooperative in handing over key documents to his or her successor… Reader IS wonders about compensation after the taxi in which he was a passenger was hit by a runaway truck. Well, insurance is unlikely to cover claims for cash compensation against third parties, although the small print should be checked. However, the police sometimes take the offending driver to court, if they can find him, and the court may order compensation to be awarded to innocent passengers especially if they are badly injured. Best of luck.

Dear Editor
One of the joys of most newspapers is the weekly accumulation of readers’ letters. It’s a great way to become famous for fifteen minutes. According to a sociologist at a local college, who has made a detailed study in between lecturing the masses, the most common sort of letter to Pattaya Mail is the “Doomsday Prediction”. That is the resort will rapidly go down the tubes unless the particular correspondent’s point is urgently addressed. In the past five years, over one hundred writers have prophesied that tourists will desert in droves unless: a) all the stray dogs are shot; b) the potholes are removed; c) the sewage problem is solved; d) baht bus drivers stop ripping people off; e) idiots on the beach turn down their radios; f) visa charges are reduced; g) motor bikers learn the highway code; h) respectable families will be shocked at what they find. Of course, none of these things has happened, but tourist numbers have probably doubled in the same time scale. Now you know the secret of Pattaya’s success.

International breaking news
Britain’s tax authorities have been asked by anxious MPs what they do when people submit forms bearing ridiculous names such as The Queen of Sheba or the Venerable Bede. A spokesman replied that they are always contacted to inquire if they have changed their name… In Sweden a man asked for a 50% rebate on his radio license on account of his being totally deaf in one ear… A Spanish priest drew a gun and fired at mourners, injuring one, who complained that he refused to say a few friendly remarks at the graveside. The priest pointed out in defense that the dead man had not attended mass on a regular basis… In Italy two men who kidnapped a young circus lion and made off with in their car have been found badly scratched and mauled near the city of Naples and minus the lion. One of them said they had intended to steal a rhinoceros but the circus didn’t seem to have any… In Pattaya, Russian tourist Ivan Smorkenoff has had his knee length, genuine fur coat stolen as he was otherwise engaged in sweaty pursuits at a massage parlor. He explained he had no alternative but to take it off in order to enjoy the massage. His tour operator has asked anyone wearing a fur coat to report to the police station as it has probably been stolen.

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Dining Out: Cafe New Orleans - the Cajun occasion

by Miss Terry Diner

Cafe New Orleans has already celebrated its first birthday, and it was suggested to the Dining Out Team that we should re-visit and try some of the newer items on the menu. This report is the result of that.

For those who have not yet been to this restaurant, it is an oasis in the middle of the neon-lit madness called Soi Pattayaland 2. Quiet jazz is played as background and the place is decked out with New Orleans atmospheric posters and art. It does indeed have a “riverboat” feel to the place. The waiters and waitresses are professionally dressed up with amusing “dinner jacket” aprons. From the minute you walk in, the staff exude warmth and professionalism and you are made to feel very welcome.

The menu covers 60 regular items plus some specials. There are eight appetizers ranging from Tangy Mushrooms at 75 baht, to a Baked Mussels in white wine and cream (125 baht) and then through to a Smoked Salmon plate at 175 baht. Five soups between 95-125 baht including Creole Onion, Seafood Gumbo and Lobster Bisque.

Next up are four salads (60-140 baht) and then comes the first of the Cajun-Creole specialties - three kinds of Jambalaya (125-295 baht), complete with an explanation of the name.

Cafe New Orleans is well known for their Baby Back Ribs and they are next on the menu with a half slab (B. 265) and full slab (B. 395). Seven seafood dishes follow, again most in the Cajun-Creole New Orleans genre (B. 265-395) and then the steaks and beef choices, B. 445 for the Filet Mignon through to B. 565 for the Riverboat Tournedos.

Three chicken dishes (B. 195-265) are followed by six pasta based items (B. 170-235), then three special combinations (B. 275-595) and three BBQ combo’s (B. 325-395) and finally, ten desserts generally around B. 80.

In addition, there are some weekly specials and notice of the “All you can eat” Saturday and Sunday lunch ribs specials at B. 250.

This restaurant also has a quite comprehensive wine list, with moderate prices and the house wines at 650 baht are very affordable (and as we found later, very drinkable).

We chose a Tangy Mushroom in spicy garlic and pepper sauce, followed by the Bayou Garoupa special for Madame and a Smoked Chicken, black beans and broccoli soup followed by the Pasta Seafood Medley for myself. Madame chose some house wine, while I stuck with the usual Singha Gold. While you are waiting, a hot loaf of garlic bread and individual butter pats is supplied as well.

Madame’s mushrooms were indeed “tangy” with 15 grams of green Jalapeno peppers in each dish (we asked!) while my soup was simply sensational. The smoked chicken flavour, combined with big chunky pieces of vegetables produced a great starter.

The mains arrived together, with the Garoupa wrapped in cabbage leaf proving to be a very moist and succulent way of presenting this fish. With the baked potato and vegetables, this was an exceptional fish dish, and in generous portions, too. However, the Seafood Medley comes as an “art work”, so imposing you hardly want to spoil it by eating it! In a large hollowed out crusty bread loaf, is placed the pasta and seafood, with three mussels around the top opening. The eating proved to be even better than the appearance and was definitely the highlight of the evening for me. The sauce is also something special and I unashamedly spooned out the last drop from the bottom of the loaf. We were both completely satisfied by this stage and Madame even had to refuse the offered desserts!

Cafe New Orleans is an up-market restaurant serving imaginative up-market food at quite reasonable prices, especially when you look at the different cuisine and the quality of service and surroundings. You will not be embarrassed to entertain anyone at this restaurant. Highly recommended.

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Lotus Eaters: The Leaning Tower of Pisa

by Mirin MacCartry

Visiting Professor John Burland of Imperial College London delivered a fascinating lecture to the students at the Asian University of Science and Technology last month on the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Perhaps most people, except Italians, do not give much thought to the Leaning Tower thinking of it as being a mere curiosity and Over There to boot. However, Professor Burland’s presentation was certainly not boring and put a new slant on the whole picture (sorry about the pun!).

Model of the Leaning Tower of Pisa

Professor Burland has been working on the stabilization committee for the last ten years under all sorts of Machiavellian pressures and politics. Law establishing the stabilization of the Tower of Pisa was never ratified, so every two months 3 thousand odd disenchanted Italian professors who thought they should have been included on the commission would write in complaining bitterly. “It was very difficult to make long term decisions when your political future is at stake,” said Professor John.

As he tells it, “The Tower of Pisa is not just a quaint leaning tower. We are not talking about some Disneyland curiosity. It is a beautiful architectural wonder - one of the seven wonders of the modern world. The Tower of Pisa has a fifteen-fold symmetry, very puzzling for the 12th century. It is built of beautiful marble that looks very strong, but between the inner and outer cladding there is nothing but rubble and lime mortar made very fragile because of the internal spiral staircase. Construction began way back in 1173. Interestingly, and perhaps what prevented its immediate collapse, was that it was built in three stages over 200 years. Three times during its construction it very nearly fell over and it is miraculous it did not. This entire century its inclination has been slowly increasing and accelerating to the point where the forces on the leaning side have accumulated to make not only toppling, but also explosion imminent.”

Professor Burland had to become a historian of the tower and its construction to mastermind its stabilization - one of the greatest civil engineering challenges ever. Evidence shows that the tower was decidedly leaning right from the beginning. Early builders tried to compensate by stepping the tiers, as a child would automatically correct a tower of building blocks. This gave the Tower a curious banana shape or as Professor Burland prefers, a better name for a beautiful lady is “A question mark. A rather complimentary enigmatic shape.” But of course, Professor Burland is in love with the lady in question!

Back in the 12th and 14th centuries, geographical site surveys were not a formulated science, so the leaning Tower of Pisa was built on top of spongy layers of silt and clay. Nobody at the time realized that compressing the clays and the fluctuating water table would contribute to the lean.

A budget of 15 million pounds, a mere drop in the ocean compared to the value of the tourist appeal of Pisa, has been spent on this massive 60 metres high structure with a foundation of 20 metres in diameter, leaning due south by five and a half degrees with fourteen and a half tons of applied pressure, 60 times greater on the south side. Not only to correct the tilt mind you, but just to stop collapse was challenge enough.

Over a period of years of frustrations, a scheme for permanently stabilizing the tower was painstakingly developed. “The process involved the slow and precise removal of soil from beneath the high side of the foundations of the tower. This would reduce its inclination by an amount too small to be visible to tourists but enough to add 400 years to the life of the tower.”

Many trials of this scheme for soil extraction were carried out, including computer stimulation. In 1999 a preliminary trial was carried out on the tower itself and the response was positive.

The full intervention of soil extraction began at the end of February 2000 and, to date, the inclination of the tower has been gently decreasing. This is, according to the good professor, money well spent.

The tower still has a long traverse to follow before it is completely stable and tremendous care and vigilance is still required. Professor John Burland hopes that by June 2001 (when the budget for stabilization is finalized) that the inclination will have reduced enough for the tower to be opened once again to the public.

After many years of difficult work the stabilization plan is now complete to preserve the stability of this wonder, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, for the next 3 or 4 centuries. That is certainly out of Professor John Burland’s direct successor’s concern, he says, as well as yours and mine. But it is comforting to know that modern technology has assisted in the preservation of valued ancient monuments, and renowned academics such as Professor John Burland are to be congratulated on their ten-year perseverance through enormous trials and tribulations to accomplished such a triumph.

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Down The Iron Road: Engines Of War 1 - Britain

by John D. Blyth

Introduction

Wars, as some of us have known them, place a heavy increased responsibility on the rail systems of the countries involved, in the way of a heavy increase of traffic, against the increased likelihood of the track, rolling stock and installations being badly damaged by bombing, etc. Three countries, to my knowledge, have designed and built locomotives specifically for war purposes; these are Great Britain, Germany (and from 1939 the countries it had occupied), and the U.S.A. Too big for one article, I will deal with each in a separate piece.

World War 1

The ‘Standard’ locomotive for the ‘Old War’ was too late! - It did not appear until 1917. Up to that time locomotives of many types had been requisitioned by the R.O.D. (Railway Operating Division) for use in France and Belgium. The idea that French and Belgian engines should also be used was largely aborted by the local authorities keeping their locomotives well away from the war zone and letting the British get on with it!

W.D. 70790, built by Kitson & Co., in 1918 for the R.O.D., on a test run on the Jaffa Branch of Palestine Railways near Sarafand in 1946.

The Class 8K 2-8-0 of the then Great Central Railway was the selected type, and there were big orders for them on private builders as well as the GCR works at Gorton, Manchester. In total, for railway and R.O.D. use, no less than 647 examples were built, many of them after the war had ended. Of these the newly formed LNER bought 273, the Great Western took 100, and other railways seemed to shy off them as not familiar. Thus they travelled and some turned up in China (and lasted a long time), others in Australia. Quite a number did very little work at all.

Most remarkable was the requisitioning of 92 of these locomotives early in World War 2; they were intended to work in Iran and some did for a time, but most went to Palestine and Egypt, where I met them during my Army service in 1946/7. I offer a photograph of one of them between Jaffa and Lydda Junction in Palestine.

World War 2

The Class 8 heavy freight locomotive designed by William Stanier for the LMS Railway and put into traffic from 1935 was the early choice for a locomotive to work behind the lines in France. The tragedy of the Dunkirk evacuation could not have been foreseen and only a few locomotives ever reached France, and they were lost forever. Others worked in Iran and in the Middle Eat countries; some were brought home in due course but many remained in Palestine especially. They were not a true war locomotive, and for that we must go forward a little in time.

The D-Day Invasion and afterwards

D-Day was 6 June 1944. Early that morning British and Allied troops stormed the Normandy beaches as the first step in taking over the countries occupied by the Germans progressively since Hitler’s rise to power in 1933. Quickly following in was railway equipment of all kinds including locomotives, British and American by the hundreds.

W.D. 73794, a 2-10-0, at Gipsy Hollow Sidings, Longmoor, in 1945. Built by North British Locomotive Co. 1944.

The British war locomotive for main line work was a 2-8-0, said to have been based on Stanier’s Class 8, mentioned above; Sir William, as he was by then, had not been consulted, was distinctly miffed, and did not like the design anyhow! There was also, from late 1943, a longer version with ten-coupled wheels and a wide firebox; they were in fact much better but only 150 were built. One report says that the 2-8-0 version, which had a narrow firebox, was not too good on Continental coal, and the similar American type with a wide firebox was much preferred. Both types, side-by-side with the American type, did much work on Britain’s railways up to D-Day. Hundreds came back to work on British Railways after their war work was finished. Thus they had good innings, when it is remembered that they were built for two years’ hard work in any conditions.

CF Achiet a Bapaume, France, No. 511, formerly W.D. 75279 and built by Stephenson & Hawthorn in 1945, on which your reporter had the small adventure recalled in the text.

In Britain the narrow firebox was no disadvantage, but they were rough riding at any speed above 30 mph (48 km/hr), and a very unpleasant motion could arise by reason of a looseness between engine and tender. By contrast, my one ride on a 2-10-0, on the Longmoor Military Railway in Hampshire, suggested a far better machine all round. As they were less common and did not return to Britain in any quantity after the war, I illustrate one of the latter series, also at Longmoor. Surprisingly some of these ended their lives in Greece, working on the line between Thessaloniki and the Turkish frontier at Pithion. I hitched a ride on part of this section in 1970; the veteran locomotive ran well and quietly.

No one has preserved one of the smaller locomotives, but one of the larger ones has been returned from Greece quite recently, and it is to be overhauled and made available for work on one of the ‘preservation’ railways in England.

And the Shunting Engine...

Military depots fifty years ago usually had a large network of railway tracks, as much of their traffic, human and otherwise, tended to arrive and depart by rail. So there was a big element of shunting work, and for this a very much simplified tank locomotive, based on a design by the Nunslet Engine Company of Leeds, was developed and built, as usual, in too great a quantity. Some of those destined for work in France went no further that the docks at Calais, where they had been unloaded! Operationally one could hardly go wrong with such a simple machine, although I believe a very small boilermaker was required if access was needed to the regulator valve!

We did not have this type shunter in the Middle East, so my own ‘hands-on’ experience has been limited to short a drive on the CF Achiet a Bapaume, in northern France in 1953. The ‘Chef’ finding an Englishman visiting, said that I was to be the driver of this English locomotive. Most of the fittings were familiar, but the steam pressure gauge was in Hektopiazes; I saw that there was at least some steam - not sure how much - so off we go. At what I thought was the right place, close the regulator, gently apply the brake - no brake! - apply fully - just a little brake; remember all the classic stories of near misses and pull the reversing lever fully into back-gear and re-open the regulator... we stop just in time. The ‘boss’ and his assistant were helpless with laughter.

Ah! These Frenchmen and their humour!

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Coins of the Realm: Major Auction for Roman Coins

by Jan Olav Amalid,
President House of the Golden Coin
http://www.thaicoins.com

On the 29th of March in Zurich, the largest auction for Roman coins this year was conducted by the Swiss coin company Numismatica Ars Classica. The company, which is run by four Italian coin experts, is well known for its high quality coins.

Denarius of the emperor Augustus with his naval general and son-in-law Agrippa on the reverse, struck in the year 12 BC. Agrippa died later that year, which is probably the reason why the coin is so rare. (Sold for CHF 60,000)

This auction, which was #18, was no exception. The highest price at the auction was paid for a Roman gold medallion of 4 aurei struck in AD 308 for the Roman Emperor Maxentius. This gold coin came from the so-called “Parthentico hoard”, which was found in the Mediterranean in the 1950s. Almost all large gold coins known from this emperor are from this treasure, and this was the best known out of four pieces of this variety. The whole hoard contained some 20 medallions. After being called out at CHF 100,000, the hammer fell on the block at CHF 200,000, + 15% commission.

Sesterius of the emperor Galba struck in the year 68 AD. This is a splendid example of Roman portraiture of the best style. (Sold for CHF 50,000)

A gold aureus of the empress Julia Mamaea, mother of the emperor Severus Alexander (222-235 AD) became almost as expensive at the auction. A gold coin from this empress has not been for sale for more than 10 years. After strong bidding between an Italian collector and a Norwegian dealer, the latter secured the coin for CHF 190,000.

Medallion of 4 aurei in gold of the emperor Maxentius, struck in the year 308. This auction’s most expensive coin fetched CHF 200,000.

Silver and bronze coins also secured fantastic prices; for example, a silver medallion of the emperor Hadrian (117-138 AD) was sold to a Swiss dealer for CHF 135,000.

The huge interest for high grade ancient coins was proven during the whole auction. High prices were fetched even for the coins of the later, not historically important emperors. A solidus in gold, for instance, of the usurper Priscus Attalus (409-410 and 414-415 AD) was knocked down on CHF 140,000 after being called out on CHF 40,000.

A new record price was set for a silver denarius of the emperor Augustus (27 BC - 14 AD). Augustus was the first and the longest reigning of the Roman emperors. During his reign, Jesus Christ was born.

Denarius of Septimius Severus, 193-211 AD. The reverse commemorates the building of his triumphal arch, which still stands in Rome beside the Coliseum. (Sold for CHF 2,400)

These coins are normally traded for between CHF 1,000 and 2,000. A fantastic piece with the portrait of his general Agrippa on the reverse was not knocked down before it had reached a fantastic CHF 60,000. Agrippa was married to Augustus’ daughter Julia and was his heir to the throne, but preceded him.

The market for ancient Roman coins is world-wide. A lot of coins are found in the ground every year and millions of coins are always available. Most of these coins are common and of lower grade, fetching prices in the range of 5 to 50 US dollars. The few top pieces that are around are rare and widely sought after and these coins are commanding rapidly increasing prices, like the coins at this auction.

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Animal Crackers: Siamese Cats

by Mirin MacCarthy

In the days of old Siam (now Thailand) the Siamese cat was only found in the Royal Court of Siam. It was the tradition of the time that only royalty were permitted to own Siamese cats. In fact, an early Siamese monarch was so enraptured by the cats that he threatened to execute anyone caught attempting to steal one. His successors preserved the status and purity of the breed and confined the cats within palace walls.

They became good luck cats and, according to Buddhist belief, the inheritors of the souls of dead royalty who were destined for the afterlife. So being difficult to obtain, to receive one as a royal gift was a great honour.

Earliest handwritten documentation of the Siamese cats date back to ancient manuscripts of the Ayutthaya period (1350-1767). Now held in the National Library in Bangkok, these “Cat-Book Poems” contain illustrations of cats and describe their physical characteristics and magical powers in verse. The poems describe the Siamese cat as today’s seal point; a white body with dark ears, feet and tail.

Siamese cats eventually appeared in Britain and America as the result of royal favour. The revered monarch of Siam, King Chulalongkorn presented a pair of Siamese cats to the departing American consul in 1878, which were eventually given to the wife of the American President, and another pair to the British consul in 1880 where they were successfully bred and then shown in Britain.

For many years the seal point (a cat of a creamy fawn coat with dark seal brown to almost black markings) was the only desirable kind of Siamese cat. Later, in the 1930s, first America and then Britain recognized three other classic varieties, the blue point, a cat of blue grey coat with deeper blue markings; the chocolate point, a cat with an ivory coat with chocolate brown markings, and the lilac point, a cat of a very white coat with frosty grey/lilac markings.

The original British breed standard of 1889 called for kinked tails. Legend had it that a Thai princess went down to the river to bathe and having nowhere to leave her jewellery, tied them to the cats tail so producing kinked tails. Today, kinked tails are thought to be undesirable genetic defects in show cats.

In keeping with its aristocratic upbringing, the Siamese cat is truly regal. Intelligent, affectionate, graceful and fiercely loyal, it quickly dominates a household. The Siamese is a one master cat, with characteristic beautiful piercing blue eyes, fluid, lithe flexible movements and a loud and often demanding voice. They are very expressive and beloved cats still today, but if it were not for King Chulalongkorn, the world may not have had the opportunity to experience these beautiful felines.

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