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Family Money: Why
save money?
By Leslie Wright
To achieve their financial objectives in life, most
people need the help of a savings or investment programme.
People who have no existing capital will need to
accumulate it by saving from income. People who already own capital will
need to invest it wisely to preserve and increase its value.
But many people get confused about the terms
‘investment’ and ‘savings’.
For most people, the term ‘savings’ has meant the
process of setting aside small amounts of money on a regular basis to
accumulate capital. On the other hand, ‘investment’ for most people
has meant using existing lump sums of capital to produce either income or
capital growth, or a balanced mixture of the two.
Similarly, the term ‘savings’ has tended to refer
to money placed in deposit accounts, while ‘investment’ has largely
referred to the purchase, directly or indirectly, of stock market
securities.
Today, these distinctions between ‘savings’ and
‘investment’ have become blurred. For example, savings schemes may now
involve very large regular contributions; lump-sum investments may be
available for a relatively small minimum contribution; and many savings
and investment products accept both lump sums and regular contributions.
Equally, some modern products allow large or small lump sums to be
invested in either deposits or stock market products, or a mixture of the
two.
No money, no honey
People without capital will need to save from income in
order to accumulate enough money to provide themselves, and their
families, with some of the more expensive essentials of life and most of
its luxuries.
Each individual has differing and unique reasons for
saving money, but the most common reasons are:
* To build an emergency fund to help the family survive
unexpected financial difficulties;
* To produce the purchase price of a substantial item such as a
motorcycle, car, yacht, TV, a dream holiday;
* To put down a substantial deposit on the purchase of a house;
* To provide private education for children;
* To pay for children’s weddings, provide dowries or help children set
up their own homes;
* To pay maintenance & support to previous wives and/or children;
* To set up in business or re-equip an existing one;
* To supply a good retirement income for life.
Some of these reasons for saving apply to almost
everybody at some time or other. For example, the existence of an
emergency fund may mean being able to feed one’s family and avoid losing
one’s home during a period of unemployment. Similarly, failing to save
for a pension may lead to extreme poverty in old age. All people need to
understand how important it is to make provision for such essential needs.
Unique needs
Some reasons to save may be needs in one culture but
not in another. For example, provision for children’s weddings or
daughters’ dowries may be an essential matter of pride and honour in
some societies; in other societies, such provision is a matter of
indifference and purely voluntary.
Finally, many reasons for saving are a matter of choice
for individuals. It would be nice for almost all of us to be able to buy a
new car, take a trip round the world or own a yacht.
It would be great if we could all give our children the
best education that money could buy.
We would like to do these things if we had the money;
but if we never get the money to do them, it will not ruin our lives or
those of our children.
Such objectives are, for most people, merely wishes and
not essential needs. People can save to achieve their wishes and fulfil
their dreams but wish-fulfilment ought to take second place to provision
for essential needs.
However, care is needed in distinguishing between
wishes and needs.
Some people’s wishes are so strong that they are
converted into needs by the individual’s determination to fulfil them.
For example, for most families with modest incomes, a wish to send all
their children to private schools is a dream incapable of fulfilment.
However, in some families, the parents may scrimp, save and make great
sacrifices so that they can educate their children at what they regard as
good schools.
Similarly, most people who would like to tour the world
when they retire will not worry if they do not actually do so.
Occasionally, one meets people for whom world travel, possibly to visit a
close relative overseas before they die, is such a burning ambition that
they will make many sacrifices to achieve it. For such a person, world
travel is a financial planning need.
However, even needs to which the individual is totally
committed should be secondary to such essential needs as provision for
retirement.
The time factor
A distinction must also be made between long-term and
short-term saving.
Short-term usually refers to savings periods of five
years or less. Short-term saving, therefore, includes a few months’
savings to buy a present or to pay for next year’s holiday. It also
includes saving for a few years to build an emergency fund, put down a
deposit on a house or buy sufficient furniture to set up home.
Long-term saving refers properly to periods of 10-15
years or more. Such savings may be undertaken to achieve a specific
purpose such as to repay a house purchase loan in 25 or 30 years’ time,
to build an adequate retirement fund over, say, 30 or 40 years or to pay
for a world tour at retirement.
The distinction between long- and short-term savings is
important: the best investments for short-term needs are often unsuitable
for long-term savings.
At the same time, saving has no specific aim other than
building up a sum of capital to use in the future.
Savings may be regular or irregular. With regular
savings, you commit yourself to putting aside a regular amount of money
each week, month or year. With irregular saving, the saver merely puts
aside surplus money whenever it is available.
People with specific savings goals need to commit
themselves to regular saving throughout the whole of their savings period.
However, thought must be given to the problems that
will arise if, for any reason, regular savers are unable to fulfil their
regular savings commitment.
Accessibility
Accessibility is just one important consideration.
People must have easy access to money to pay their bills and make
essential purchases. All investors need to ensure that they have
sufficient accessible funds for their needs before they start locking
their money away into less accessible investments. Providing an adequate
‘cash cushion’, if you will.
The most accessible financial investments are current
and instant-access bank accounts from which money can be withdrawn at
will. Other forms of investment have lower levels of accessibility.
Most high-interest deposit accounts are what are known
as “notice accounts” and require the investor to give notice of their
intention to withdraw money, say 60 days or 90 days, before the money is
needed. Such accounts are unsuitable for money that the investor may need
to use at short notice, however attractive the interest rate.
Similarly, fixed term investments for one, two or five
years should only be used for money that the investor can afford to lock
away in return for a higher rate of interest and/or, possibly, more
favourable tax treatment.
Asset-backed investments on the other hand present a
different facet of accessibility. Stock market investments can now be sold
and the seller credited with the money in little more than a week.
However, the price is not guaranteed. If stock market prices are low at
the time money is needed, the investor’s money is accessible but only at
the price of a loss of capital.
However, there is a price to be paid for accessibility
- the quicker and easier it is to access your funds, the lower the rate of
investment return you receive.
Penalties
Penalties are usually associated with early withdrawal
from fixed term contracts. It is important to know what the penalties are
and how they reduce investment yields in the event of early encashment.
In the case of deposit accounts, the penalty is usually
defined as a rate of interest for a fixed period of time. On fixed-term,
fixed-interest bonds, the penalty for early encashment usually depends on
prevailing interest rates at the time.
In the case of whole-life or unit-linked assurance
policies, early surrender values are not usually guaranteed. In the first
year or two, there may be no surrender value at all and, after that,
surrender values increase only slowly.
Early surrender values are determined by interest rates
and asset values at the date of encashment. The early surrender values
included in the key features document of a product are only illustrative
projections. They are based on standard annual growth rates that may or
may not actually be achieved in the future.
Surrender penalties levied by different product
providers vary a great deal and product comparisons can identify the
products with the highest and lowest penalties.
However, penalties should rarely be considered in
isolation. The risk of incurring a penalty, and therefore reduced
investment returns, has to be balanced against your main investment needs
and objectives.
For example, someone who needs to build a pension fund,
but has a poor history of saving, may well need an element of discipline
built into his savings program. Here, heavy early-encashment penalties can
actually be advantageous inasmuch as they provide the disincentive he
requires against stopping contributions early.
The problem with penalties is that they mainly arise
when investors can least afford their cost. For example, a policyholder
may receive a poor surrender value at a time when unemployment has forced
him to surrender the policy.
The creation of a safe emergency fund that is easily
accessible reduces the risk that investors will have to surrender
long-term savings plans and incur penalties.
If you have any comments or queries on this article, or
about other topics concerning investment matters, write to Leslie Wright,
c/o Family Money, Pattaya Mail, or fax him directly on (038) 232522 or
e-mail him at [email protected].
Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website
on www.westminsterthailand.com.
Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services
(Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice
to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial
planning and international investments.
The Computer Doctor
by Richard Bunch
From Nong, Sattahip: I am at my
wits end; I have recently purchased a Pinnacle Studio DC10 capture card, as
I believed from various articles I had seen that Pinnacle cards provided
excellent quality. Since purchasing this I have had no end of trouble with
it, the bundled software is buggy and often crashes my system, I get an
intermittent error when making a movie which says ‘AVI cache inside’.
This is obviously a common problem as it appears many times when I do an
Internet search, although there appears to be no solution posted. The manual
is not particularly helpful and the support I have received from the dealer
has, to say the least, been disappointing to the point of non-existent. I am
stuck with this card which is like an albatross around my neck, can you give
me any advice on this matter as I really can’t afford to buy another card
at this time and frankly see no reason why I should. If I was in England I
would sue the companies involved but this is Thailand so…
Computer Doctor replies: We have had similar
experiences and I can concur that the company you mention really has no
concept of customer care or satisfaction, how they remain in business is a
mystery! We had a faulty card which we were unable to get replaced by them
and after several lengthy international telephone calls with Pinnacle in
Singapore a replacement card was sent by courier, albeit we had to pay
Customs Duty and courier fees further increasing the cost of the card. I
really have no solution for you but can only commiserate with you; I think
the lesson to be learned is not to use Pinnacle cards.
From Aloijsius Deins, Pattaya: Always reading your
articles about computers, I have the following problem with my computer.
Writing articles and to make a book, I always use Microsoft Word, that has
everything and a spell checker. Very strange everything goes very good, but
sometimes everything goes very slowly, with make spaces back to another line
make corrections nearly everything works then as a slow motion movie, after
8 or 10 lines it returns to normal, I don’t think I am doing anything
wrong. Maybe you can give me an answer?
Computer Doctor replies: It is really very difficult
for me to give you an answer, as I require more information from you. In the
meantime, I think your problem is likely to be caused by insufficient
resources or corrupt files, either within Windows or Word itself. If you can
provide the following information I will respond more accurately. Processor,
memory, hard disk size, operating platform, Word version and details of any
other installed software.
On a brighter note after the recent spate of price
increases for one reason or another, this week has seen them start to fall
again and there have been some really significant reductions in the price of
Pentium III processors. Interestingly, Intel has this week launched its
fastest processor yet, the Pentium III at 733Mhz.
Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or
E-mail to [email protected]
Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer Technologies, on
South Pattaya Road (900 metres from Sukhumvit Road). Providing total
computer, IT solutions, website and advanced graphics design to corporate
clients and home users on the Eastern Seaboard. Please see our advertisement
or call 038 374 147 or 411 063 www.act.co.th
Successfully Yours: Alvi
Simthuvanik
by Mirin MacCarthy
We met at Alvi’s new coffee shop at the
Bangkok-Pattaya Hospital. She immediately said, “I am not so sure about
being ‘successful’. If it is about doing what you enjoy, then I am
successful. But if it is about money, I still have a big overdraft in the
bank.” After reassurance, we began the interview.
Alvi was born in Nakon Si Thammarat in the south. She
was one of eight children to an accountant from a tin mine. Her father
spoke several languages and was a great advocate for education. “Don’t
give property to children - give education” was her father’s dictum.
Towards this end, her parents rented a house in Bangkok
and then placed her elder brother in it, taking the younger children in to
be further educated in the capital. “We lived just like a big family,”
she said.
Her education was comprehensive, including Teachers
College at her mother’s insistence, even though Alvi told her, “I will
never be a teacher.” She also went to Ramkamhaeng University where she
took the Humanities course, majoring in English. Her future was being
mapped out, but she was not to realize this at that time!
It was then 20 years ago, and she came down to Pattaya
to see a friend and was amazed. “This is not Thailand,” she said,
seeing the nightlife of the R&R city! However, she was to join it in
the hospitality industry - because she could not swim! She had actually
passed all the entrance qualifications to join Thai International as an
Air Hostess, but the final hurdle was that she must be able to swim 50
metres. Alvi sank after 10 and her aviation hopes sank with it! Her friend
arranged a job as a hotel receptionist and so she stayed here.
The next major upheaval in her life was a man. “I
closed my eyes and followed a man - to Bangkok.” There Alvi settled
down, planning to be a good housewife and mother to her two baby girls.
They later moved back to Pattaya, but Alvi found that she was interested
in more than just being a housewife, waiting for her husband to come home.
“I opened my eyes - and got divorced.”
Now suddenly in the role of provider as well as mother
she opened up her first business. This was a restaurant (Rot Lamun) in a
shop house almost at the junction of Soi Buakhow and Pattaya Klang. Whilst
it ticked along, Alvi soon noticed some discrepancies in the bookwork and
stocktaking so decided to close it. That was 13 years ago and she was now
left with a vacant shop house and two girls to feed. She did what she told
her mother she would never do. She became a teacher!
This was the start of M.A. Language School. Despite her
misgivings, she has found that her Major in English and the Teacher’s
training has stood her in good stead. M.A. now has seven other teachers,
as well as herself, and is one of the more established language schools in
Pattaya.
In keeping with her father’s motto, she has made sure
that her daughters also get the advantages of a good education. She has
sent both of them to university with the younger one graduating in four
years time. To do this, Alvi works hard. Her average working day is 14
hours, despite her elder daughter imploring her mother to slow down. This
girl won a scholarship for her university course, telling her mother,
“Now you don’t have to work as hard!”
But Alvi Sinthuvanik is a worker. In the little time
she does have spare, she devotes much of it to supporting local charity
organizations like the Jomtien-Pattaya Rotary Club, the YWCA and the
Banglamung Boys Home.
She does believe that while degrees are important,
“You need the piece of paper in Thailand, but you learn more from
experience.” The new coffee shop is the result of experience. “Last
year my daughter was in hospital. I noticed there was no place to get a
snack or coffee, so I approached the directors with the idea.” Now,
after six months planning and three months of running it, she believes it
will also be successful. “I am going to enlarge it just a little more
with soups and pies as well.”
Alvi is obviously very happy doing what she is doing,
and in the terms of reference mentioned at the start of this interview,
she is indeed very successful. Her advice to any young girl contemplating
their future is just, “Do something you are happy in.” And finally,
“Learn to be independent.”
Alvi Sinthuvanik is doing that every day. Thanks for the coffee, Alvi.
It was lovely too!
Snap Shots: “Weegree
- the Famous”
by Harry Flashman
Photography certainly breeds some wild people, and
Arthur H. Fellig was one. Born in Poland in 1899, he came to America in
1909. He stayed at school till he was 14 and then joined the school of
hard knocks, doing all sorts of jobs till he stumbled across photography.
He was reported as saying in one interview, “I saw an
ad in a mail order catalogue which I sent away for: a tintype camera, and
I decided to go into photography.” Even that statement was typical of
this man. He didn’t wait to see if he was going to be any good - he was
a “doer” and just waded right in and “did”.
He
worked for a few studios and then got a job in the darkroom at Acme
Newspapers. Life in the newspaper business is always exciting and frantic,
and especially in those lead linotype days. Arthur H. Fellig liked that
excitement. He had found his niche. He was only 21 years old but he
decided he was going to be a freelance news photographer.
He soon became known as the first on the scene of any
newsworthy happening, be that fire, murder, suicide or landslide. He was
so uncannily aware of what was happening that people began to feel he had
some psychic powers of prediction. At that time, America was also in the
middle of a Ouija Board fad and from this Fellig was to adopt his nickname
“Weegee”.
He even was so brash as to call himself “The
World’s Greatest Photographer”! In those days of speakeasy’s,
prohibition and gangsters, Weegee was totally at home; cigar clenched
between his teeth, he looked like a kind of cross between the movie actors
Edward G. Robinson and Charles Bronson. He became famous for his cocky
approach to life. And that was life at all levels, a life he recorded with
his trusty 4x5 Speed Graphic.
Of course, Weegee was not psychic, but just used to
sleep fully clothed, with a police radio on his pillow. In the boot of his
car was his “office”, complete with typewriter to knock out the words,
spare film and lots of flash bulbs. Weegee would arrive, record the shot,
type the words and have everything on the editor’s desk within the hour.
It was no wonder that Weegee was so popular with the news media of the
day.
By 1935, Life magazine was doing features on Weegee and
his work. There was no doubt about the fact that he had the photographic
“eye”, but for Weegee, the subject was the all important part of the
photograph. And the subject he dealt with was done incredibly directly.
Weegee was not one to be horrified by the sights before him, like gangland
killings. He took the shot that kept that horror for the eyes of the
newspaper readers the next day. (Interestingly, that direct,
confrontational photographic style is still used in the Thai language
papers today) Another quote from this amazing man, “I like to get
different shots and don’t like to make the same shots the other dopes
do.” When asked what his formula was he replied, “I just laugh. I have
no formula, I’m just myself, take me or leave me. I don’t put on an
act, I don’t try to make a good or bad impression. I’m just Weegee.”
He certainly was!
Weegee will be remembered for his record of the seamier side of New
York life. This was put into book form, called the Naked City and was
published in 1945. Unfortunately, the wide public recognition that came
from this book ended the directly grotesque nature of his images and
Weegee went to Hollywood where tinsel-town swallowed him up. He died in
1969.
Modern Medicine: Remaining
Fit!
by Dr Iain Corness
Looking through my bookcase I found I have three books
about Getting Fit. The interesting thing is that they are all the same
one! Either it is early Alzheimers and I didn’t remember buying the
first (and second) one, or I became so enthusiastic about the book I
bought extra copies for my friends (who obviously weren’t as
enthusiastic about it as I and gave them back to me).
This article is not about Getting Fit, however. There
are people out there in Fitnessland who know a great deal more than me
about getting fit. The David Garred’s of the Dusit Fitness Centre and
the Sean and Hannah Panton’s of the Royal Garden’s one for starters.
No, I leave the “getting” part to the professionals. This article is
on maintaining your fitness level - whatever it is.
Being fit is important medically. For me, fitness means
that bodily state whereby your essential organs can function as best they
can. It is incontrovertible medical fact that fit people have less
problems than unfit folk, never mind the side benefits like living longer,
looking better and recovering from trauma more quickly.
One of the great mysteries of life is where did your
fitness go? When you were seventeen you ran and jumped, played hard all
day and half the night too. Your fitness was there with you, so much so
that it was just an accepted part of life and living.
Then you turned twenty something. Along came wife (or
husband), children, job responsibilities, long hours sitting at work,
sedentary relaxations as the footy and soap operas on the telly and
suddenly the fitness level began to decline.
By the time you got into the 30’s this pattern was
well entrenched and the new (lower) level of fitness became the accepted
standard. However, into the 40s and suddenly there was the mid life
crisis. “What am I doing here?” “Why am I like this?” The usual
answer is to apportion blame to the spouse and then ditch the matrimonial
partner and select a new younger one that will get you up walking and
playing in the park again. You also join a golf club.
But by the time you have celebrated the Half Century
birthday it’s all down hill again. The infirmities of age are starting
to catch up. The dicky shoulder from teenage football and the bad back
from child rearing slow you down and an even lower level of physical
incompetency becomes the norm. Hell, this is depressing, even as I write
it!
So what to do? Simple, put a physical component back into your
lifestyle. Fitness is not a mental exercise, but is a physical state. No
matter what your starting level, you can always begin to include the
physical element very easily. Begin by walking across to the next office
when you want to speak to Tom, Dick or Harriet, rather than phoning the
extension. Extend that to lunchtime. Instead of getting the office girl to
get your sandwiches or som tum, stretch your legs and get it yourself. Get
up from your chair and welcome every guest or customer. Personally walk
them to the door when they leave. Can you see what you are doing? You have
not lost time in your working day, all you have done is worked out a
different way of accomplishing things. A physical way! Try it. You just
might save yourself a walk to the doctor for that heart attack you don’t
want to have.
Dear
Hillary,
We are fairly new to living in Asia and I am not sure
what to do with our maid. She came with the apartment and seems to be a
very nice person. My problem comes with the number of days off that she
seems to have. It is not that she does not come to work, it is that she
tells me that she has to see her mother, or it is a special day for
Chinese so she will not be here on some day next week. Is this the usual
for Thai maids, or am I being made use of?
Marjory
Dear Marjory,
Hillary is sitting here having had to make her own
coffee. My maid is off at the temple. But how many unscheduled days off a
month does she have? About one or two extra days off a month is standard
custom. Not one a week! Most Thai employees and all maids take every
Buddhist and Thai holiday off for which you are expected to pay. Have you
thought of joining one of the ladies’ organizations here (listed in the
Pattaya Mail) so you can learn the ropes quickly? Remember to smile at lot
to your maid even if you can’t speak Thai and bring the odd sweet cakes
for a present for her sometimes. Good luck.
Dear Hillary,
After hearing about the tourists who were shot my
relatives cancelled their holiday here. They live in London and I am sure
they would benefit from the sea air in Jomtien. How can I convince them it
is safe enough living here?
Wilson
Dear Wilson,
Tell your relatives that Pattaya/Jomtien living is far
safer than travelling on the London subway and much cleaner. London has
its share of criminals too, but that doesn’t stop tourists visiting the
UK. That should convince them. If it doesn’t, send them cough mixtures.
Dear Hillary,
I am only here for a short holiday, so I hope you can
answer me quickly. I have fallen in love with a Thai girl and don’t know
what to do. She works in a bar, but she had only just come down from her
village “up country” this week. She makes friends very easily (all the
other girls in the bar seem to know her) and speaks very good English. I
would like to take her back to the UK with me when I go next week. How do
I go about this? Will she come with me (I haven’t asked her yet)? Do I
need to ask her parents permission to take her overseas? Please hurry with
the reply as I haven’t got much time left.
Moonstruck
Dear Moonstruck,
You certainly are struck. My advice to you is stay at
home on the nights of the full moon, change bars and watering holes, pack
up and go home at once and leave no forwarding address. First you should
know that “Your love” has probably been working in the bars for a year
or more, would almost certainly have to have been to have “very good
English.” Village girls fresh from up country do not speak any English.
Most Thai girls will go overseas with you if you pay and you pay heavily.
You would need a passport and visa for her, not her parents’ permission
unless she is underage. Believe me this is a less than brilliant idea and
an old and sad tale of many farangs. It is the first step in
disillusionment, heartbreak and bankruptcy. First comes the request for
money to travel to Bangkok to obtain a passport, then the requests for
money while she is waiting for a visa, so she doesn’t have to work in
the bar, then more money for sick relatives then more money to go up
country to visit sick relatives, then if you get lucky (?) when the visa
finally is granted, more money for air ticket, then more money to pay for
a motorbike accident and so the story goes. This is not to say that you
haven’t found the one girl in a million, but you have been warned.
Dear Hillary,
I will be coming to Pattaya at Xmas time and wonder if
you knew where I could rent a motorcycle for the time I will be there (2
weeks). Is it insured and is it OK to drive with my French license? Thank
you.
Andre
Dear Andre,
Non non non, obtain an international license in France
before your departure. Bring it and your French licence. Absolutely never,
on any circumstances, leave your passport with anybody, even police, and
especially motorbike or car rental firms. Leaving copies is O.K. Of course
motorbike hire is not insured, this is Thailand.
Motorbikes are prone to theft and numerous accidents,
of which you the hirer are technically responsible. It is dangerous to
ride a motorcycle here, bring or buy an excellent crash helmet and take
out good international hospital and medical insurance in France before
your departure. Stroll down Beach Road Pattaya when you are here or
Pattaya Second Road and you will encounter dozens of hire places. Bon
chance.
GRAPEVINE
Odd talk
Reader PL has sent us these concluding
remarks. Noted British journalist Auberon Waugh once received a very
odd invitation. A Senegalese magazine invited him to him to go to
Dakar to deliver a lecture on breast feeding. It seemed an odd topic
as Auberon normally talked on politics or the media, but the money was
good so why not. He carefully researched his subject and arrived at
the lecture site to deliver, as he recalled later, a passionate
argument in favor of breast feeding which was received by assorted
dignitaries in complete silence. Only later did he find out that,
owing to a botched translation in the invitation, he should have been
speaking not about breast feeding but about press freedom.
Bank robbery delayed
A masked bandit wearing gloves appeared at
the entrance to a Chonburi bank at 8.30 a.m. with a devilish plan to
scoop the pool. Finding the doors still locked, he began to show great
impatience by banging loudly on the iron grille. Eventually, a
security guard appeared and reminded him it was Sunday morning. The
hooded villain was back the following Monday morning and did succeed
in making off with 1,600 baht and a few coins. The security guard said
he did not recognize the culprit as he was not wearing the same color
of disguise the second time.
Watch out for forgeries
Pattaya is again being seriously troubled
with forged 500 baht notes which are said to have been printed in
Cambodia and Laos. They are difficult to spot especially in poor
light, but don’t have the same rich purple color background as the
proper ones. The forgeries are slightly paler and the attempts at a
watermark have been botched. The best advice is to check your currency
regularly. Farangs found in possession of forged money, howbeit
innocently, are likely to attract some official attention in our fair
city.
Expensive ear wax
A budget conscious farang with time on his
hands found he needed his ears syringing after a heavy cold. So he
decided to visit five clinics and hospitals in the area to compare the
quotes. Always assuming he heard correctly, he says the cheapest was
200 and the most expensive 1800 baht. Mind you, you get what you pay
for. The most extortionate institution also told him he was not
running a temperature and should consider losing weight before
providing him with a lukewarm cup of tea. Without sugar of course. |
“The
chubby chaser”
Talk around town is that yet another future
funder of a girlie bar with a somewhat self evident name is looking
for premises on Pattayaland Soi Two, the city’s best entertainment
street according to the banner overhead. Now, why would that be news?
Because all the hostesses will be at least 60 kilos, presumably
without shoes, and dance really cute honky tonk numbers from the
1970s. Grapevine is inclined not to believe the story. It seems to
have been started by someone desperate to sell his licensed premises
to a retired Sumo wrestler.
Internet news
Half marks to the Pattaya resident who
joined a trivia quiz on the Net and submitted the answer Berk’s
Garden to the question about Hitler’s holiday retreat... A new web
page offers world wide baby sitting services, but the company is based
in Zurich so you have to pay for the airfare if you don’t live in
Switzerland... A conspiracy obsessed news group is claiming that
unfounded fears about the Y2K bug are being spread by Microsoft in
order to sell new computers. Sounds like common sense that one.
Legal eagle
Reader WA asks whether “bail” paid to a
court in Thailand is lost money. No, court bail here as elsewhere is
set as a sign of good faith the accused will reappear at the next and
subsequent hearings. If not, the money is indeed forfeit. The person
paying the bail will receive a receipt which is redeemable when the
case is concluded. Another common myth is that a specified amount of
cash guarantees bail. In fact, the court sets bail at its discretion.
Usual reasons for refusing it are conduct of the accused, police
objections and poor legal representation. If bail is refused by the
first court, the defendant can ask the matter to be reviewed by a
higher court in Bangkok. WA appears to be mixing up receipted bail
with other speculative payments to individuals which the accused hopes
will make life simpler. That’s “up to you” as they say.
Remember remember
Today, of course, is the celebration of
Britain’s very own Gunpowder Plot. This week, a Wakefield based
farang with intellectual leanings was trying to explain its
significance to a very bored American sailor from Alabama as they sat
sipping beer in a South Pattaya flop house. “Surely you have heard
of Guy Fawkes and the House of Stuart?” queried the Brit. “No
siree,” replied the man from the Deep South, “but the last goddam
thing Pattaya needs is another son of a bitch Brit, with a shirt
lifter’s name, starting up some damn queer bar.” |
Dining Out: Five Star
Vegetarian - a healthy experience
by Miss Terry Diner
There are not too many people these days who would deny
the healthiness of natural vegetable foods. In fact we have just come out
of a period in the Buddhist year where its followers eat only vegetarian
food. All this is done for good healthy reasons.
While most restaurants have a few vegetarian items on
offer, it is actually quite hard to find a totally vegetarian restaurant.
This is where the Five Star Vegetarian Restaurant is carving out a niche
for itself. Now open for just over one month, the Dining Out Team decided
to check out the menu and the food.
The Five Star Restaurant is actually part of a small
group of eateries, owned by a very health conscious (and young looking) 63
year old Afghani. Mindful of his own health he went totally vegetarian
over two years ago and being so pleased with how he felt he then opened up
his own restaurants to cater for the healthy minority.
On Pattaya Second Road, the Five Star Vegetarian is
just past the Grand Sole hotel. The building has been newly renovated with
the usual Chinese heavy wood tables and chairs. The chairs have some
traditional Thai slip over cushions, so there is not the numb bottom you
can sometimes experience with this type of furniture.
The beverage list is mainly fruit juices and teas, but
you can get a beer if you ask nicely! No Singha Gold unfortunately!
The menu items are particularly varied, in fact much
more so than the usual Chinese/Thai restaurants. There is also a surprise
- chicken satays, deep fried chicken, duck and pork and catfish are all on
the menu. In a vegetarian restaurant?
The secret is that these are all “mock” items, made
from soy bean, flour, flavouring and mushrooms, so are still 100%
vegetarian.
We began by choosing Tod Mun Hua Plee, similar to Tod
Mun Pla, but actually called banana-flower cake. This certainly looked a
little like the Tod Mun patties and came with an interesting accompanying
sauce. That was followed by Satay Gai Jay, the mock chicken satays. While
it was very pleasant, with the usual peanut sauce expected with satays,
the texture of the “chicken” was not convincing.
However, the next dish, Gai Hoh Bai Teoy Jay, a deep
fried “chicken” in pandanus leaf, was exceptionally like real chicken.
Texture and taste were superb!
We then moved on to some red curries, followed by
crispy vegetarian pork - another excellent example of a “mock” dish.
The rice we ate with the food was not the usual steamed white rice, but a
polished brown rice. This was certainly worth ordering, the larger grains
imparting a different taste to the universal Chinese/Thai food
accompaniment.
For the most part, it was as if we were having a normal
Chinese/Thai meal - the difference being that this was all healthy
vegetarian food. Another surprise was the price. The vast majority of
items were priced between 40 - 50 Baht. The other item to note was the
size of the menu. Twelve soups, ten snacks, thirteen salads, ten curries,
five styles of rice and another 17 stir fries or casserole dishes.
If you are into vegetarian cuisine, or are just a little health
conscious, it would be worth your while trying this latest addition to our
restaurant scene.
Animal Crackers: Frogmouths
by Mirin MacCarthy
There are nine species of Frogmouths in the world, and
Thailand has four of them. They are called Frogmouths for their very wide
beaks, not because they eat frogs. If you corner a Frogmouth it will hiss
at you and open its huge mouth to show the bright yellow lining of its
mouth.
They are very interesting owls who all have very
different voices. One Australian variety is known for its “Mo-Poke”
call, and the common name for it is just that - Mopoke. The Thailand
varieties have such varied voices as “Oooerrr!”, “Oooh-wheeow” and
“Gwaaa”, but we do not call them Gwaas!
Like most owls, the Frogmouth group are nocturnal birds
that hunt for insects and small animals at night, but during the day they
remain motionless on the branches, blending into the scenery with their
variegated plumage. If threatened, they freeze in position with their
beaks pointing towards the sky, looking just like a broken branch. Look at
the photograph with this week’s column. There are two branches and three
birds, a mother and her two chicks. The one chick on the left is showing
the beak up frozen position.
The Frogmouths probably require their enormous gaping
beaks because they are truly prodigious eaters. One breeder who
successfully reared a chick from an egg reported that in its first 24
hours after hatching it consumed 20 moths, 18 earwigs, 4 meal worms and 2
day old baby mice! By four days after hatching it was eating the
equivalent amount as an adult bird - 11 day old mice, 6 meal worms and an
indeterminate number of moths. Quite a mouthful.
Frogmouths mate for life and assist each other with
their chores, such as nest building (from twigs) and incubating the eggs.
The male does the day shift, while the female sits on them at night while
her partner goes off to find the 11 mice and assorted earwigs and other
choice tidbits for dinner!
The variety most likely seen in the forests around here
is Batrachostomus javensis, or the Javan Frogmouth. They have bright
yellow eyes with ear tufts from above the eyes and a heavy beak with
prominent whiskers.
We have had two Frogmouths as pets and looked after another one until
it was recovered from its injuries. Fortunately, we did not have to go
looking for day old mice as the University Veterinary School advised us
that tinned dog food was quite OK and Frogmouth flourished on his
“Pedigree Chum” until ready to fly off again.
Auto Mania:
Hello sexy man!
by Dr. Iain Corness
Some motor cars just look “right”. Somehow, they
are attractive to more than just the dyed in the wool enthusiast. The BMW
Z3 is one of those.
A
sexy rear end if there ever was one!
In the week that Z3 and I were together, any street in
Pattaya was a chorus of “Oooohh! Hello sexy man!” Baht bus drivers
waved and gave me the thumbs up. Even my laconic Aussie mates responded
with a “Jeez, where dja get that, mate?” and another American friend
responded with “That’s one helluva car, buddy.” And it certainly
was.
Bright, knock your eyes out red, it sat at the side of
the road like an excited puppy (or perhaps it was me that was over
excited?) desperately wanting to go for a run.
BMW
Z3’s dynamic interior
It has one of the most sensuous shapes around. From the
swelling front guards with the pre-war nostalgic louvres, the twin BMW
trademark nostrils, chromed purposeful looking wide wheels, the open top
with twin hoop roll-over bars, to the stumpy tail with the most female
“hippy” rear guards in the world. From the looks angle, the Z3 is a
knockout!
So, underneath the shiny sheet metal, what is the Z3
really like? The test car in question came with the 2.8 litre, just shy of
200 horsepower, 24 valve, in-line 6 mated to a 4 speed auto transmission.
Other options in the Z3 range include the 1.9 litre engine and manual
transmission. (There is also the 3.2 litre version, based on the Z3 called
the M Roadster. This is a BIG horsepower monster rocket!)
The
gills just seem to ooze power.
The configuration is in the true “classic” layout
with the engine up the pointy end and rear wheel drive. By clever
placement of items such as batteries, etc., and use of lightweight
materials, BMW have managed to give the car an almost 50/50 weight
distribution which becomes evident in the ultimate driving limits.
While very much a roadster, the Z3 has plenty of room
inside - well, for the people at least. The seats were leather and
infinitely electrically variable, well designed and held you in place, no
matter how many lateral G’s you attempted to induce. There are also some
small containers inside to stow knick-knacks - but not much else.
One of the brilliant features is the electric rag roof.
Literally a ten second operation and you go from open top motoring to
snugly enclosed. After taking someone for a spin, it was just the ultimate
expression of superiority to magically, at the touch of a button, bring
the roof over our heads while still chatting to the passenger.
Boot space, in the stumpy tail, is definitely not of
the cavernous variety - but this is a sports car, not a mini-bus! It will
hold the obligatory change of underwear and a tooth brush.
Staring
down the nose - or is it staring you down?
On the test car, the auto transmission came with three
options. “Economy” where it upshifts early, “Sports” where it
holds the upshifts right up to red-line and “Manual” where you can
select the ratio and it remains there till you tell it otherwise. All this
is also wrapped up with ASC (Automatic Stability Control - called Auto
Skid Control in some markets) and some other electronic trickery by which
the sensors pick up on your style of driving and anticipate your change up
points.
OK, OK - just how did it drive? Let me point out, right
from the start, that this tester does not fiddle around the public roads
and try and tell you what a car feels like. The Z3 was taken to the Bira
circuit, where you can experience the limits in safety. After an hour at
Bira I can assure you that this is a seriously good motor car. The weight
balance, direct steering, sure footedness and ABS brakes give the Z3 an
uncanny stability on the track. It is difficult to imagine you could fall
off the road in a Z3. The roadholding is superior to most motor cars I
have driven, and that includes a couple of race cars thrown in for good
measure. It was not a case of balancing the car on the throttle - it
didn’t need me to balance it! It was literally vice free.
Powerwise the 2.8 litre engine silences all the critics
of the previous 1.9 litre Z3’s. Open the taps up and the Z3 squats
slightly at the rear and lifts the nose, holding it up all the way till
the driver runs out of brave pills. Factory figures indicate a 0-100
clicks time just over 7 seconds, and I have no reason to doubt that (in
fact it “felt” quicker).
BMW
Z3
To say this was a fun exercise would be putting it too
mildly. A couple of weeks ago I said that nothing beats running around in
open top sports cars (sex excluded). After last week with the Z3 I might
have to drop the exclusion clause!
The Z3 is also brim full of the features you would
expect from a manufacturer of BMW’s calibre. Anti-theft alarms, courtesy
lighting, twin air bags, energy absorbing regenerating bumpers, integrated
side impact protection, air conditioning, 6 CD changer plus
radio/cassette, on board computer - do you want me to go on? Yes, I must
mention one item in the blurb - inertia reel seat belts with pyrotechnical
belt latch tensioner. What that is I do not know, but sounds a lot like
fireworks to me!
The price? Around three point eight million (say it
fast and it doesn’t hurt as much) to own probably one of the more
desirable roadsters available in the world today. I know they are cheaper
overseas, but we are here in Thailand. If you want something cheap, buy a
pick up. But if you want to pick up a bit of really class action, bite the
bullet and buy a Z3. It’s only money and there’s no pockets in
shrouds.
Finally, on page 145 of the Owners Manual is an item
called “Disposing of the Car”. I quote, “At some time in the future,
when your car has reached the end of its working life, the fact that it
was designed from the start for easy recycling will benefit you and the
environment.” It then goes on to describe where you can find these BMW
approved recyclers. Let me assure BMW I will personally kill anyone who
even thinks about sending a Z3 to the knackers yard! How could you! I want
one! I certainly didn’t want to give it back!
Autotrivia Quiz
Last week we showed you an Elva Climax in action and
asked about the driver. It was the very famous Archie Scott Brown. Archie
was an excellent driver and I am lucky enough to have been able to see
this man in action. What made his accomplishments even more fantastic is
that he only had one arm and severe leg deformities as well. Today, the
FIA would not like to let a chap with these infirmities hold a race
licence. This is unjust as Archie so very well demonstrated.
For this week’s quiz - who was the one handed American auto racing
champion? Be first in to fax 427 596 or email [email protected].
Have fun!
Copyright 1999 Pattaya Mail Publishing Co.Ltd.
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260, Thailand
Tel.66-38 411 240-1, 413 240-1, Fax:66-38 427 596; e-mail: [email protected]
Updated by Boonsiri Suansuk. |
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