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  COLUMNS

HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:
 
Family Money: Guaranteeing Your Pension Part 2
 
The computer doctor

Successfully Yours: Sombat Supavantanakul
 
Snap Shots: How Long?
 
Modern Medicine: “What’s a nice joint like you doing in a girl like this?”

Heart to Heart with Hillary
 
Grapevine

Dining Out: The Samsara Lifestyle1
 
Animal Crackers: Reader’s tale: “Jazebel, the Cat’s Meow.”
 
Auto Mania: Beemers at Bira

Fitness Tips

Family Money: Guaranteeing Your Pension Part 2

By Leslie Wright

Last week we started looking at options that are available for safeguarding your retirement capital.

The first option we looked at was an annuity. Most people are familiar with this type of investment instrument, but with current interest rates being at historically very low levels, annuities these days are not very good value for money - unless you can expect to live to a very ripe old age indeed.

So if you decide that you want an investment vehicle that will return you rather more than the currently-low amounts an annuity will pay out, but without risking your capital (because once you’re retired you won’t be able to earn more to replace any losses), are there any investment vehicles which offer such a guarantee?

Well, yes there are.

Guaranteed funds

The international financial services industry is becoming ever more sophisticated and ever more innovative, and new investment products are coming onto the market all the time.

One relatively recent innovation is the introduction of ‘guaranteed’ funds, and several reputable institutions now offer these specialised investment instruments.

Basically, these are designed to appeal to investors who appreciate that potentially higher returns can be gained from stock markets than from cash deposits, but recognising the inherent volatility of stock markets, don’t want to run the risk of their capital being eroded if those stock markets should suddenly drop.

Some of these ‘guaranteed’ funds invest directly into stocks; others into market indices; others make money by trading in stock market options.

What they all have in common is a limited downside - or guarantee that you can’t lose more than a predetermined relatively small percentage of your capital.

How they are able to offer a potentially high return coupled with a high level of capital guarantee sounds almost miraculous, but isn’t really.

This is one of those rare instances where if it sounds too good to be true, it isn’t a scam.

It is, however, a bit technical, and varies from fund to fund.

In most instances the fund managers achieve the best of both worlds, as it were, by dividing the available capital into two portions: one portion provides the guarantee element, while the other is the investment portion used to produce the gains.

How they actually achieve both a high return on and a high degree of guaranteed security of their investors’ capital is by leveraging up the investment portion (either by borrowing additional trading capital from reputable banks or trading in options on margin, which requires only a ‘deposit payment’), and placing the rest of their investors’ capital on either high-earning short-term deposit, or in some cases, by buying zero-coupon bonds which pay out a guaranteed sum on maturity.

Most investors, however, aren’t too interested in the minutiae of how the fund managers achieve what they do, but are very interested in the result that their funds carry a very limited downside and a potentially higher upside.

What this means in practice is that if the markets drop by, say, 10% and you’ve selected a relatively low 95% capital-guarantee level (yes, folks, you can even choose the level of guarantee you desire, all the way up to 100%!), you cannot lose more than 5% of your investment capital (or even less if you chose a higher level of capital guarantee).

If, on the other hand, the markets gain 10%, because the investment portion (only 5% of the capital) is leveraged up by as much as a factor of 10, you would gain perhaps as much as 17.5% overall on your investment capital.

In short, you stand to make far more than you stand to lose.

This is the theory at least, and the actual gain would depend on the level of equity participation and the mix of markets selected by the investment fund manager for the period in question.

This last point - the period in question - is significant also.

With most conventional funds (whether these be unit trusts or unit-linked to insurance policies), you buy your units in one go and watch the fund price fluctuate, hopefully upwards, until you cash them in or switch to alternative funds.

With these ‘guaranteed’ funds, on the other hand, they generally have a pre-set investment period of, typically, three months.

What this means is that at the end of each quarterly investment period, the gains or losses are totted up by the fund manager, and a dividend declared, or a loss absorbed.

Thus in the worst case you would have to absorb no more than the pre-set downside (say 5% if you chose a 95% capital guarantee level). But if the markets and the fund managers had done well in that previous quarter, you stand to gain considerably more on the upside than you stand to lose on the downside.

And this is what investment risk management is all about.

Then, at the start of the next quarter, either your 95% capital would be carried forward to start off the cycle again; or if a dividend had been declared such that your capital is now 117.5% of what it was at the start of the quarter, either this amount is reinvested, also with a 95% capital-guarantee level (or whatever figure you select, because you are permitted to change your mind each quarter), or you could have elected to have your gains paid out to your bank account, and carry forward only the original 100%.

While these somewhat more sophisticated instruments are not going to gain hugely as could some of the direct-investment funds, they are, however, very appropriate instruments for people with a fundamental aversion to risk, or who wish to safeguard a substantial proportion of their hard-earned capital during their retirement years.

This category of funds is therefore an appropriate alternative for retirees wanting a potentially better return than a simple bank deposit during times of low interest (such as now) and willing to take on a relatively small exposure to risk to achieve this.

(to be continued next week)

If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, write to Leslie Wright, c/o Family Money, Pattaya Mail, or fax him directly on (038) 232522 or e-mail him at [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.

Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments.

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The computer doctor

by Richard Bunch

From Herman Puts, Pattaya: Last year I came to live in Thailand and took my brand-new printer, Epson Stylus Color 600, with me. I installed my printer and everything worked fine.

This year I went to Europe for 2 months so I didn’t use the printer in that time. When I came back and started to work with my computer everything seemed OK until I started to print. The black color refused to appear on my paper. So I changed the black print cartridge, which had no result.

I looked in the manual and it advised me to clean the printer heads with the software based printer utility. After cleaning the printer head 5 times the problem still persisted. The advice of the manual was to contact your ‘Epson Dealer’.

Its difficult to contact the Epson dealer in Europe, so I went to the Asian Epson dealer in Thailand, Saharviraya OA Public Company Ltd. in Bangkok, but they don’t seem to care.

I went to several computer shops in and around Pattaya but they couldn’t help me because they have little knowledge about printers.

I think that some black ink dried up on the printer head so it has to be cleaned manually. If you have a good address or some good information about this problem, I would be very grateful. Thanks in advance.

Computer Doctor replies: When printers go wrong, they can be a little troublesome to put right. That said, if you care to bring it to the office we’d be happy to take a look and if necessary escalate the problem through our distributors. I hope that helps.

From Sheila Mercer, Pattaya: We have recently had a lot of building work carried out at our house. Although I kept the computer covered up, it still attracted a lot of dust. When I turned the computer on for the first time after the builders had left, I smelt burning. I switched off and carefully took the cover off. There was a lot of sawdust inside and I used the hose attachment for the vacuum cleaner to clean it. I was very careful but when I switched the PC back on, having replaced the cover, it was dead. Have you any suggestions please.

Computer Doctor replies: Oh dear, vacuum cleaners are one of the biggest producers of static electricity found in the modern house. The chips inside your PC are adversely affected by static, that is why the more professional service engineers earth their bodies to prevent frying the chips. I’m sorry to say, there is little hope for your PC and if you’ve done a thoroughly good clean then the chances are all the cards will have sustained damage. The best bet now is to take the PC into a dealer so that the full extent of the damage can be assessed. If it really is necessary to clean the inside of your PC then use compressed air.

The comments contained within this column are not necessarily the views of the author or Pattaya Mail Publishing Co., Ltd. Letters may be edited.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or E-mail to [email protected].

Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer Technologies on South Pattaya Road (900 metres from Sukhumvit Road). Providing total computer and IT solutions to corporate clients and households on the Eastern Seaboard.

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Successfully Yours: Sombat Supavantanakul

by Mirin MacCarthy

Khun Sombat Supavantanakul has been the manager of the Siam Commercial Bank in Jomtien since January and is smiling, bright eyed, quiet and charming.

He was born in Chachengsao near Chonburi, part of a large family of nine. Attracted to science and maths at school, but appreciating Thailand’s (then) firm and stable economy, he chose banking as a career.

suc.jpg (18242 bytes)To this end, he joined the Siam Commercial Bank while studying Accountancy at night at Chulalongkorn University. Three years later he had his BA in Accountancy and immediately started studying law at Thamasat University. Surprised that anyone might consider this career move unusual Sombat smiled, "Bankers have to know about the law also, you know."

However, Sombat is not just a banking desk jockey, being fit and enjoying golf and competition swimming. In fact he met his wife Khun Chulee when he was president of the accountancy faculty swimming club. They have two children, who although following their parents as being good swimmers, are not being steered towards their father’s career choice. In a typical Thai manner he says, "I always tell them it should be as they like."

Sombat was Branch Manager of the Siam Commercial Bank in Nakon Pratom for three and a half years, but then spent the next three years as Executive Manager of the Bank of Kathmandu in Nepal. With the Siam Commercial Bank and the Bank of Khatmandu having a joint venture partnership, this was an excellent opportunity for Sombat, both from the career point of view and the opportunity for travel.

Which place is better, Jomtien or Nepal? Smiling, Sombat replied, "They are so different, you can’t compare. Nepal is 40,000 feet in the mountains, here we are at sea level. There it was zero in the mornings and six degrees during the day in winter. However, it is always a good challenge to work overseas."

The most important values to Sombat in life reflect his Thai upbringing and are, "In the things you have to do today, do the best. Like all Buddhists I believe that whatever you do affects your future."

With his banker’s hat on, he expresses optimism about the economy; "At the moment there are many signs that show that Thailand is starting to recover. In our area in Pattaya I see people starting to buy a second home. At the moment we are starting to provide housing loans at a good special rate of 8%." This he said quickly, getting in a quiet plug for his favourite bank!

Asked for his predictions on how Thailand can make an economic comeback, Sombat approached this from the banker’s conservative point of view. "I agree with the government’s action to reduce deposit rates at the same time reducing loan rates, so to stimulate people who have money to invest in many sectors of the industry."

Success to Sombat is achieving his dreams. "I have had so many dreams - to work in a bank, to have a family, a house, a car, to work in a foreign country. Now I have the dream to work hard, teach the staff how to make a profit for the bank and for Thailand by the year 2000." There is no doubt about the fact that Sombat is a "company man".

His advice to young people who want to succeed in business here is revealing of his own admirable character. "I say again, do your best today in everything, not only in business but in your personal life, too. If you do wrong nobody knows but the God inside you. There is a need for morality, to keep the social issues in mind and to help each other without just chasing the big profit. We have big problems today because people did not care about each other and are just looking for huge profits."

You come away from a meeting with this gentle man sure that here was someone you really can trust with your life savings! The Siam Commercial Bank banked on a winner with Sombat Supavantanakul!

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Snap Shots: Polarize

by Harry Flashman

If Harry Flashman had to choose only one filter to put in the grab bag it would be the polarizer. This one filter can make such an incredible difference to your photographs that it is difficult to leave it off the front of your lens.

These filters are different from most others in the fact that they are made up of two distinct elements. There is an outer ring that rotates the outer "glass" relative to the inner element. This increases or reduces the degree of polarization to allow an endless range of polarized effects from one filter.

Now there are people who think that all a polarizer can do is let you see ladies legs in swimming pools. This is merely a minor property for this extremely versatile filter.snap.jpg (7789 bytes)

What you have to understand, with these filters, is that they remove reflections that come from any surface, not just water. The reason you cannot see through some windows is reflected images on the surface of the glass. The reason some tree leaves appear to lose their colour is reflected light from the sky above. Likewise, a shiny red boat is reflecting light from the sea or the sky.

One of the traps for young players is that because you know the grass is green, you see it as green when you look through the camera lens. The ability to look in a discriminating way is one of the real secrets of photography, let me assure you.

Look again at the scene in the viewfinder. The green grass is really a mixture of green, silvery reflections, dark shadows and pale green shoots. Put the polarizing filter on and slowly rotate the outer ring. Suddenly the silvery reflections disappear and become a deep, solid green colour. The grass is now made up of green, dark green and pale green. This green will really leap out at you and smack you fair between the eyes!

Your next beach scene when taken with a polarizer will really amaze you. Again, slowly rotate the outer ring on the polarizer. Look critically through the viewfinder and you will see the sky take on a much deeper colour to highlight the white clouds. Keep turning that outer ring and the sea will change to a deep blue to green luminescent hue. The end result is at your command. Try taking the same shot this weekend, but with varying degrees of polarization and see the difference in the final prints.

Another shot to try with or without polarization is photographing a reflective, shiny object like your family car. Again, by looking critically through the viewfinder you will see what happens when you remove the reflections from the paint work.

So, if the polarizer is such a wonderful bit of gear, why do we not make it a standard piece of equipment on all cameras? Well, like everything, there is a downside as well as the upside. In the case of the polarizer it does its bit of brilliance at the expense of the amount of light that gets through to the film. With most polarizing filters you will lose about one and a half stops of light. What this means is that the shutter speed will be at least twice as long to record the same scene, or that the aperture will be twice the size. This means that you are more likely to get camera shake effects and suffer from lack of depth of field when using the polarizer. Another drawback is that the light drop to the film upsets your flash settings, so compensation has to be made for night shots.

However, if you haven’t got one - get one this weekend and see the full bodied difference a polarizer can make!

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Modern Medicine: Circular Saws!

by Dr Iain Corness

This is not a joke about certain skin conditions caught under questionable circumstances. It is in actual fact a short dissertation on the types of injuries that you can expect from a circular saw accident and what you should do if you are unfortunate enough to be injured.

The problem with circular saws is that these implements are so good at doing their job we tend to become forgetful about how dangerous they really are. Any machine that can rip through a piece of 3" x 2" hardwood doesn’t take long to rip through a 1/2" x 1/2" soft tissue finger!

So you have just injured yourself while using a circular saw. What do you do? Firstly, do not panic, but immediately grab a piece of cloth, a hanky, any old rag, it doesn’t matter, and wrap your fingers up tight. There will be plenty of bleeding, but pressure will soon bring this under control.

Now you can have another little look at the damage. Do you still have all the fingers? If not, start looking for the piece you are missing. It will be on the floor of the workshop. Pick it up and put it in a plastic bag with some ice and take it with you to the hospital. Straight away!

Circular saws are ferocious in their ability to rip open flesh. By the very nature of their design, saws do not cut cleanly like a knife wound, but "rip" through the tissue, leaving very rough edges. If the saw blade reaches the bone then you will have a very jagged wound containing wood chips, bone chips, fat cells, muscle tissue and skin.

This means you end up with what we call a "dirty" wound. Suturing an injury like that will always lead to a breaking down of the wound as the body will reject all the small pieces of debris.

The doctors will have to thoroughly clean your wound, even to the point of having to use a scrubbing brush to dislodge all the small pieces of rubbish. Do not worry, you will have had an anaesthetic by that stage!

The doctor will also check to make sure you have not sawn through a tendon as well as the more obvious damage. In the event of loss of portions of the finger then micro-surgery will become necessary to hopefully re-attach the piece you brought in with you in the plastic bag! This is an operating theatre job, several hours and a general anaesthetic.

So there you are, circular saw injuries are not like a simple laceration. Even a small "nick" has potential problems. The simple answer is to be vigilant at all times when using these tools, but if you do become injured carry out simple first aid, then take yourself to a hospital immediately, but expect to spend a little time in the Emergency room! Lots of luck!

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Dear Hillary,

I am an English engineer with a contract to work in Ban Saen for two years. My wife and two young children are here and we have a lovely big house with a maid and a driver. My wife isn’t able to go out much because of the children, so we agreed to her having one night a week out with girlfriends while I stay at home looking after the children. The problem is I began to suspect and now I am certain that she is having an affair with the young good looking Thai driver when she pretends to be going out with the girls. What should I do?

Anguished

Dear Anguished,

Are you certain? If so, then dismiss the driver with a month’s wages. Employ an older, unattractive driver. Find a maid who is good with children, most Thai women are. Then go out with your wife in the evenings while your maid takes care of the children. Now is the time to take a long hard look at your marriage and determine if it is workable. Try to spend more fun, companionable times together doing things you both enjoy. Don’t overlook romantic evenings at home. It is as easy as you bringing home food and wine, sometimes even the odd flowers. It may simply be that your wife is alone and very lonely in a foreign country with constant demands from the children and desperately needs your love and attention. It could be that the demands of your work have made you a little distant, not emotionally there for her. Attempt to recapture some of the old magic in your marriage. At the very least start communicating with each other. If all this proves difficult then look at professional counseling.

Dear Hillary,

My name is Lek, and I have met an American soldier who has been on army exercises here and I want to visit him in America. He has gone back home now and I am confused. His army friends say that he didn’t really care about me because he was seeing other girls here too. Now his friends want to take me out. Are they trying to stop me for the right reasons or the wrong reasons.

Lek

Dear Lek,

The answer to your question is that soldier boy’s friends probably want to stop you from visiting him for both the wrong and the right reasons. However, it is definitely not going to please him if he hears that you went out with any of them. Perhaps you should not be too hopeful of visiting him in America if he has not already asked you to do so and arranged to send you a ticket. Write to him or telephone him and see how he feels.

Dear Hillary,

My father has been away in Japan for a month while the rest of our family is staying here. I am the oldest daughter and I am afraid for my father. I don’t think my mother is being very fair to him. She has started to go out at night alone and has even bought sexy new underwear. Should I write to my father and tell him?

Sharon

Dear Sharon,

Absolutely NO. The easiest way to destroy your life and your parents is to attempt to judgmentally interfere. Just how did you discover your mother’s new underwear anyway? Surely you do not pry through her things when she is out. It is definitely not up to you to sit in judgement of your parent’s romantic involvement. It is out of your field and this applies to everyone else in the world, even your sisters and brothers and best friends. Just everyone will hate you and no-one will thank you for you telling them your version of the truth "for their own good." Try to mind your own business. It may help to picture yourself in a situation a few years time where a friend destroys a beautiful relationship of yours by interfering. Over time you will learn that the dynamics of all relationships are different and are determined and solved only by the people involved, not the bystanders, by children or "best friends." Tune out, Sharon, become focussed on your own interests.

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GRAPEVINE

Pong alley
From a calling card circulating round housing estates in South Pattaya, "We clean every toilet outside your home if very smelly or even smelly. If not smelly, we put back like before. If you are the smelly one, we can help you breathe for sure." But if you do hire these guys, check out carefully what they will charge as they often quote a fee of 180 baht which actually means per inch suctioned. Otherwise the joke will be on you as you dig into your wallet at pay time.

A hefty lunch
Excellent value lunch buffet at Café New Orleans in Pattayaland Soi Two. As much as you can eat for 250 baht. The center piece are those delicious baby barbecue ribs. On offer seven days a week from 11.30 to 14.00 hours. Opposite is Palmer’s Bar where seasoned hands say the generous helping roast lamb Sunday dinner and trimmings cannot be beaten at 195 baht. Served from around 13.00 hours.

Heil Pattaya
That amazing Pattaya phenomenon, the nazi style crash helmet with swastika and SS runes, took an amazing turn when a British veteran objected to his motorbike taxi boy sporting the fascist insignia. The driver pointed out he could not remove his helmet lest hawk-eyed police officers chose to fine him on the spot. "Anyway why you complain?" queried the lad, "I see many times Winston Churchill wear this one on the TV set." Presumably, though, without the moustache.

Embassy assistance
Reflecting the obvious trend of some farangs to end up in serious trouble in Sin City, a growing number of Bangkok embassies have a local consular presence in the Pattaya area. The Danes are the latest, following the British and the northern Scandinavians. Some other countries, including Hungary, have established contacts outside of Bangkok mainly to develop trade and commercial links. Each embassy makes its own arrangements, if any. There is no global plan.

UBC again
Thailand’s only mass satellite TV company is coming in for a lot of stick. Fees too high, staff can’t answer questions about why you have been cut off (mai roo – I don’t know) and the failure of the monthly listings guide to appear in your post box. On the other hand, UBC has to deal with problems not known in US and UK. Up and down the land, cable operators are stealing their programs whilst UBC’s outstanding debts will take years to recoup since the collapse of Thai Sky and currency devaluation both occurred in 1997.

Corpse mystery
Two shell shocked beachcombers last Sunday found a block of ice encasing the naked corpse of a man near Sattahip. After waiting for the defrost, initial police reports said suicide was unlikely as dead bodies rarely strip off. Murder seems unlikely as there don’t appear to be any wound marks or blood traces. Authorities are working on the theory that the body had not been in the water for too long after a medical expert explained that Sunday was a particularly hot day and that ice tends to shrink rather quickly in the tropics. The body had to be repacked with ice to transport it to the nearest autopsy laboratory in Bangkok.

Baht value
Renewed speculation this week that the Thai currency will be encouraged to devalue to 40 plus to the US$. Admittedly, those wanting such a move hope to make exports cheaper to boost the country’s overseas selling rather than to thrill mean minded farangs at the money exchange bureaux. It’s not likely though. A cheap baht, as we know, fuels inflation and increases Thailand’s international debt which is mostly repayable in hard currencies. Best to keep hands off the baht.

Car computers
Reader JL sent us this one. Bill Gates has compared the computer industry to the car industry. He allegedly stated that, if General Motors had kept up with technology like Microsoft has, we would all be driving 25 dollar cars that drive 1000 miles for one gallon. In response, GM commented we would then be driving cars with the following characteristics:

Your car would probably crash twice a week.

Every time they repainted the yellow road lines, you would need to buy a new model.

Executing a failed maneuver like a left turn would result in a shutdown and require you to reinstall the engine.

The air bag would ask ‘Are You Sure?’ before inflating.

You’d need to press the Start button to turn off the engine.

Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought Windscreen 99 in which case you would need to purchase more seats.

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Dining Out: The Samsara Lifestyle!

by Miss Terry Diner

The catch phrase of the new establishment on Beach Road (corner of Soi Post Office if you really have not seen it) is "experience the Samsara Lifestyle".

From the outside, despite the trench digging going on, Samsara is certainly a very inviting venue. From the modern design building exterior, the wooden "boardwalk" with umbrellas and outdoor seating all the way through to the granite and ritzy, glitzy interior décor, this place screams a lifestyle to which everyone aspires. Let’s face it, in a city that can tend towards the tawdry at times, Samsara just is the opposite and reeks of "class".

dining.jpg (21803 bytes)Samsara - destined to rise to dizzying heights.

The Dining Out Team decided to try the restaurant side of Samsara and there is no doubt about the welcome one receives. The girl at the door was all smiles, the hostess charming and the waiters and waitresses very pleasant. Before we had even seen the menu we were immediately enveloped in a warm and inviting atmosphere conducive to a great night out.

Samsara has a separate wine list from the large menu proper. As House Wines, they have Hardy’s Shiraz Cabernet for the red and for the white wine buffs, Hardy’s Semillon Chardonnay. These are two very good wines, and 750 Baht is a "bargain" in these post economic crash times. These house wines are also available by the glass. The rest of the wine list is quality, rather than quantity, with such nice drops as Gevrey Chambertin 1st Crush or a 1989 Bourgogne Blanc, for example. Of course all the local beers are there (including Singha Gold!) at 70-75 Baht and several imported brands as well.

For starters, my partner chose the Smoked Salmon, whilst I, being un-adventurous (for once) decided on the Nachos with Salsa and Avocado. While we waited we were given a bread board with a small bun sized loaf. First bite and we were smitten! Spicy bread (red curry, I believe) and sensational. Top marks, Samsara!

The starters arrived and Madame’s plate was loaded with salmon and capers and a fabulous carved carrot containing a cream cheese sauce. This was adjudged as the best salmon dish we have had in Pattaya. The nachos were fine, the salsa excellent and really too large for one person. Share it if you order this one.

For Mains, there are many choices. From Pizzas (170-210 Baht) through to Paella, Lasagne, Ravioli, Chicken and Prawn, Salmon and Sole and Salmon Pasta. These ranged between 175-315 Baht. There is also a good representative Thai menu between 95-120 Baht.

However, for the card carrying carnivores there is Australian Sirloin and Tenderloin Steaks. These come in two sizes (again, top marks, Samsara) and we chose one of each. There is a choice of sauces and we went for the Port/Garlic variety along with baked potato with sour cream and bacon. The accompanying garden vegetables were very good with just a hint of garlic.

Our steaks were perfect. Done to our request and thick juicy cuts. The sauce was not overpowering and the presentation excellent. Unless you are very hungry we would recommend the 200-250 gram size. This is more than adequate!

In fact, neither of us had enough room left to sample the dessert, although Madame did manage to pack away one of their special Jamaican coffees.

Our Samsara experience was, as you have gathered, very enjoyable. It is a worthy addition to our up-market restaurants. Not cheap, but neither "over the top". There is in fact a Samsara member card that can be purchased entitling you to up to 20% reductions. It would be worthwhile enquiring about this if you are a regular diner, or even just a socializer around the bar and entertainment area.

The Samsara lifestyle? We loved it!

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Animal Crackers: Reader’s tale: “Jezebel, the Cat’s Meow.”

by Mirin MacCarthy

My husband and I are Americans and we spent our first years here in a condo where animals were not allowed. Both used to having pets, we really missed their company.

The day we finally moved into our house after carting in three truckloads we collapsed exhausted into chairs beside the pool. We were tired but happy just to sit enjoying this peaceful new view of palm trees, glowing blue pool lights and the sounds of nature that we had missed. My husband suddenly remarked that there was only one thing absent from the scene. Suspecting, as most women might, that something romantic was being called for I smiled and asked, "What would that be darling?" He looked at me lovingly and said, "A cat!" Well, so much for my romantic thoughts.

Strangely, at that exact moment we heard piteous meows coming from the pool house.

Almost in disbelief we saw a scrawny, bony, weather beaten calico cat, starving for both food and attention.

Grahame jumped up and took it different bowls of milk and food which it ignored. Finally it succumbed to a dish of my homemade liver pate. It ate all but the onions, just as Grahame does, a cat after his own heart.

Love developed between the two and Grahame had his wish granted instantly just as if a genie had jumped out of a bottle. We had to name her Jezebel after watching her frankly enjoying enticing all the tomcats in the neighborhood.

Jezebel has been with us for two years now. She has given birth to a beautiful litter of three kittens and is the world’s best mother. She is dearly loved by all. To us she is the cat’s meow.

Nan Penketh, Pattaya.

Tall tales: "Last Rites"

When Paddy’s cat died he asked the priest to say a mass for it. "No way, What d’yer think the church is coming to?" said the priest.

Next Paddy asked the Anglican vicar to bury his cat and got the same reply.

The priest saw Paddy next day, "Are you still fussing about that cat, Paddy?"

"Yes," said Paddy. "I even asked the Jewish rabbi if he would bury him for $500, but he refused too."

The priest smiled, "Now, why didn’t you say he was a Catholic cat?" he said.

Wanted: Readers animal stories. I am always on the lookout for funny animal short stories and I will print the best ones each month. Please keep them down to this length, around 250 - 300 words or we run out of space! Fax the Editorial Office on (038) 427 596 or email to [email protected]. Keep them coming!

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Auto Mania: Beemers at Bira

by Dr. Iain Corness

With BMW Manufacturing (Thailand) laying the first stone for their new Eastern Seaboard assembly plant, they brought a pile of long wheel base BMW 730’s to Pattaya for the Bangkok media to try out on the drive down here.

au3.jpg (14046 bytes)Fared in lights..

Now while the hordes were watching the Stone Laying Ceremony, your Automania columnist was wangling a deal to rip off with one of these 730’s and take it on a real test drive - to the Bira International Circuit! I fully realise that the Editor expected me to watch the sacred stone being placed - but you and I both know that driving cars round race circuits is much more fun! Luckily, one of BMW’s staff was also more interested in seeing how the 730 went, so Khun Sirachat and I went and played hookey!

The first thing you notice about the longer 7 series car, when you get close, is just how big it is. Standing on a whopping 3070 wheel base (100 more than the "standard" version) the increased leg room for the rear seat passengers is just stupendous. There’s enough space for a Bavarian Dancing Bear as well as passengers. Enormous!

au1.jpg (13325 bytes)730 at Bira Circuit.

The styling is very conservative, but looks like a complete package. There is nothing gimmicky, with a noticeable absence of "add ons", and the fared in headlights produce a very smooth aspect to the front of the car. For those into Drag Coefficients, the 730 comes in at a very slippery Cd of 0.30.

The next thing you notice when you open the door is the acres of leather everywhere. In the test car, this was a grey, offset by mahogany wood strips. The interior is certainly one of understated luxury.

BMW have been in the forefront of applying electronics and computer driven technology in their cars for some time. The servicing periods being an obvious one, with the central "black box" telling you when it is required. One of the nice touches in the bigger Bee Ems is the ability to set the seating position (fore, aft, up, down) and the position of the steering wheel into the cars "memory". There is provision for 3 distinct settings so you can have yourself, your driver and someone else programmed in. Push the correct button and it all resets itself just for you.

On board trip computers have been around long enough to become almost expected and the 730’s one is equal to the rest. The rest of the instruments are easily read circular dials, which I find very much better than some of today’s digital examples.

Separate passenger side air-con is standard with outlets to the rear, twin air-bags and sun screens for the rear door windows. Fog lights and steering wheel "paddles" for the Cruise Control and sound system selection and volume complete the well thought out interior. Undoubtedly there are other bits I missed, but for me, the interest is in how the vehicle drives. Not how many features it possesses.

On the drive down to Bira, the 730 showed very pleasant road manners. Quiet and with that wonderful solid Teutonic feeling. We chatted in normal voice levels, no matter what the cruising speed, and were cocooned in our pleasant individually selected temperatures despite the 34 degrees outside.

The 730 has a 3 litre V8 (BMW model numbers show the engine size with the last two numbers and the series with the first number). With a claimed output of 218 BHP and an all-up weight of 1825 KG it is obviously no race car, however, it is well under stressed.

The local cars are all automatic transmission, but have an economy or "Sport" option to dictate the change point. In the "S" mode it will go all the way to the 7000 RPM limit before changing up.

I am a firm believer in using race circuits to test road cars. It is only in this type of controlled environment that you can really see where a car’s limits lie. In safety! The 730 was given its test at the twisting Bira track and quite frankly, I was amazed. For a big car I expected a soft, even boulevard, ride. Quite the reverse. Bee Em has not forgotten its sporting heritage, even with the 7 Series luxury cars.

au2.jpg (14786 bytes)Spacious rear.

You could punt and hunt the 730 into any of Bira’s corners and it cornered as flat as a tack. It was impossible to get it to demonstrate any real vices. At the point of ultimate fast cornering it showed a very mild under-steer characteristic and that was all. Only by leaving the braking to the latest possible could I get the ABS to make its presence felt. Control seemed to be the descriptive feature with this car. It just did everything right.

Looking at the car and the market for it at just a smidgen under 5 million (4.98 to be precise), it will be bought by senior company executives. The majority of these people will have a driver and will enjoy this car from the spacious rear seat department. I think it will be very comforting for them to know that the car will not get them into unsafe situations. The leeway between road velocity and speeds needed to produce loss of adhesion, brakes or steering is so great, that it is almost impossible to imagine this occurring.

BMW have built probably one of the best examples of cars with active safety in the world today. Not just the passive "crash it and the cabin doesn’t distort" sort of safety. This car will keep you on the road because it sticks to it like doggie doo to your joggers. If you have the bikkies to spend, you owe it to yourself to give the 730 a close look. Well done BMW! Well done!

More Bira Bits

There is motor racing this weekend at the Bira Circuit. The main event on the bill is the Thailand Touring Car Series and the local lads turn it on as if it were the F1 Championship. There should be good fields, now we are half way through the year, and I am looking forward to seeing some fierce dices. It will be interesting to see how the new Corollas of Team Toyota go against the well entrenched Honda brigade.

For all those who are unsure of where Bira is, it is on Highway 36 about 2 kms before the intersection with 331, the highway with the Eastern Seaboard Industrial Estate and Amata City on it.

Ask for me around the Timing Tower area and share some of the air-conditioning in the VIP room!

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Fitness Tips

by Dvid Garred,
Club Manager,
Dusit Resort Sports Club

G’day Pattaya,

Over the last few weeks I have been addressing the problems of being overweight in the extreme. Obesity is a problem in our society and by no means am I finished in trying to help people deal with it. One of the best things about this issue is that the studies and thus the treatments can all be used as a starting point for the masses that want to lose a bit of weight (fat).

If you are wondering what you can eat and enjoy still then give this a try.

Fast Fitness Recipe
Lamb, rosemary and honey stir-fry

Ingredients:
Onions, chopped
Fresh rosemary leaves 1 tblsp
Lamb fillet or Chicken breast,
trimmed of visible fat and

cut into thin strips
Snow peas
Zucchini, sliced
Green pepper, sliced

500g
1 cup or 60g

Plum sauce
Honey
Base:

1/3 cup or 90ml
2 tblsp
Steamed rice
or Boiled Pasta or Noodles
5 cups
500g

Cooking instructions:

1. Heat a non-stick wok or frying pan over a high heat and spray with cooking oil spray. Add onions and rosemary and stir-fry for three minutes or until onions are soft.

2. Add lamb or chicken and stir-fry for three minutes or until brown. Add snow peas, zucchini, green pepper, plum sauce and honey, then stir-fry for four minutes or until vegetables are tender crisp.

Serve with rice, pasta or noodles. Serves 4

Nutritional information per serve 2322 kJ (553 Cals), 95 g carbohydrate (65% of energy - high), 5 g fat (5% of energy - low)

So, if you are looking to stick with the suggestions made in Dr. Corness’s column on the 14/5 "Digging your grave with your teeth" try this on one of your Asian food days and share it with the rest of the family or 3 of your friends. It tastes fantastic, has great nutritional balance and is very low in fat - the ultimate meal for people seeking to take better care of themselves.

Don’t we all want to do that?

Carpe’ diem

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Created by Andy Gombaz
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