Family Money: Direct vs. Indirect Investment - Part 2

By Leslie Wright

Last week we started looking at the two ways of investing into stocks or bonds - directly through a bank or broker, or indirectly through collective investments such as unit trusts, mutual funds and unit-linked insurance policies.

I freely admitted I believe that indirect investment is better for most people.

The first reason for this - discussed last week - is the ability to create a more widely diversified portfolio with a relatively limited amount of capital, thereby reducing volatility and your overall risk.

The next is flexibility.

Flexibility

Unravelling a portfolio of direct investments as market conditions change - a basket of shares, for example - and moving the proceeds to another stockbroker in another country can be a complicated and time-consuming exercise; and any delays in this manoeuvre can cost you dearly in lost opportunities.

With a portfolio of indirect investments, on the other hand, moving into one market and out of another is a very simple exercise.

Part of this adjustment is actually done for you by the managers of the fund.

They buy and sell the underlying investments - the shares of selected companies, in the case of a stock market fund - as they see opportunities and danger signals respectively. And they have teams of highly-qualified analysts and economists to help them.

In most cases, however, they cannot move the whole fund to another market sector which looks as though it will do better.

For example, when the crisis hit some eighteen months ago, the managers of a typical Thailand stock market fund could not just sell all the fund’s assets and invest them into the U.S. stock market, no matter how much they might have liked to do so; such a move would be prohibited by the fund’s statutory rules.

All they could do was reduce their exposure to stocks (i.e., sell them) and hold cash until stocks on the SET look good again (whenever that might be).

But you, as an individual investor, are not so restricted. You can sell your units in one fund, and move the proceeds into another accessing a different market altogether, at any time you feel one market has peaked and another has bottomed.

Administratively this operation is very simple, quick, and usually costs only a comparatively small fraction of the fund’s value - typically no more than 1%; and with some investment instruments, such ‘switching’ (as it’s termed) is completely free of charge.

Small made big

The next reason I advocate collective investments for most clients is the economy of scale.

Most investors don’t have the several millions of dollars at their disposal that would be necessary to construct a truly diversified, global portfolio. They cannot spread the risk wide enough with a limited amount of direct-investment capital.

But by pooling their relatively limited resources with those of thousands of other investors, the dealing, communication and administration costs are reduced quite considerably.

In addition, this enables a relatively small stake to be invested across a very wide range of perhaps hundreds of stocks and/or bonds, and in several different markets - thereby reducing the volatility and hence the overall risk of the portfolio, as discussed last week.

For only a few thousand dollars, you can join in the big game on a global basis, and monitor it much easier.

Taking time

The next reason is time.

Monitoring the components of a diverse portfolio can be a very time-consuming task.

Fund managers spend their whole time doing it, and they’re monitoring only their own specialised fund sector. It is their raison d’être.

Portfolio managers also spend a considerable proportion of their time monitoring the performance of their selected investment holdings, and market movements.

Most investors simply don’t have the time to do all this. They’re either working at their chosen activity, making enough money to support themselves and their families (and hopefully have some left over to invest); or if they’re retired, most prefer to enjoy a round of golf or other pleasurable activities rather than spend half their day poring over the financial pages, dialling up the Internet, and manipulating complicated spreadsheets on their computer, just to keep track of their investments.

It’s very time consuming if you’re going to do it properly, I assure you!

Relative costs

Of course, some people say that indirect investments carry high charges, which they can avoid by direct investment.

But is that either a true or fair criticism?

First, just what are the charges you might have to pay to play the indirect investment game? And how do these shape up against the charges you pay for direct investments?

Did you say that there aren’t any with direct investments? Really? Perhaps not as transparent as the charges associated with indirect investment instruments, but let’s not kid ourselves - no-one in this world works for free.

Direct investment into stocks has to be done through a licensed stockbroker, or in some regimes through a bank. In either case, a commission is levied on each transaction.

This will vary from as little as 0.5% in some countries to as high (in total) as 3% in others. On each and every transaction, mind you.

Also, to gain a true picture of what it costs you to monitor and manage a direct portfolio the costs of administration & communication have to be taken into consideration also.

These costs can add up to significant figures.

For example, how much does it cost to speak to your broker even once a week? If he’s in Bangkok, not too much. If he’s in New York or London, quite a lot more.

The accumulated total of brokerage fees, transaction charges, communication & administration costs over a year of direct trading can easily add up to 6% of your portfolio’s value, and in some cases much more.

Private banking services

Some investors go the semi-direct route by investing through a private banking portfolio service, believing they will achieve the best of both worlds: an actively-managed personal portfolio without high entry or administration costs.

However, banks levy a variety of charges on their transactions, many of which are far from transparent.

When you receive a trading report you may see that your semi-direct investment portfolio has gained far less than the market it was invested in. Where’s the difference gone? Opaque and undisclosed transaction costs, in many cases.

Can you complain? Yes. Will it get you anywhere? In most cases, no. Under the terms of the trading agreement you signed (which often contains print so fine you need a magnifying glass to read it, and perhaps a lawyer to interpret it), you empowered the bank or stockbroker to deduct transactional costs and a variety of other charges, many of which may not have been clearly specified, if at all.

Indirect transparency

With indirect investments like unit trusts, mutual funds and unit-linked insurance policies, there are no hidden charges: they’re all transparent and clearly set out up front. (And should be clearly explained to you by your financial advisor, assuming you have one.)

Yes, in some cases these may seem high. But in the highly competitive environment that the financial services industry has become in recent years, the charges that accompany any specific instrument have been carefully worked out to be fair to all parties, and are very much related to the nature of the vehicle and its beneficial features.

If you require a high degree of flexibility, being able to withdraw your capital at any time or move your investments around from one firm to another, you have to expect to pay some sort of premium for doing so. Just like the difference in interest rates paid on a passbook savings account and a time deposit account.

However, there are various ways to offset some of these charges, which your financial advisor should be able to help you with. (And I don’t mean discounting his commission; he’s surely entitled to earn something for his time & expertise just like any other professional. After all, would you ask your doctor to give you a discount? Well, some people in Pattaya might...)

While some collective investment instruments have all the charges taken at the beginning, others spread these out over a period of time.

In some cases these are more related to early-encashment penalties than front-end establishment costs.

So if you are a long term, serious investor (as opposed to a flavour-of-the-month one who wants to flit in and out of markets on whims & fancies), you may get away with paying virtually none of these charges.

Larger investments usually attract bonuses, either in the form of increased allocations (how much of your money gets invested) or reduced entry charges.

Some vehicles designed to attract substantial amounts of investment capital have even reduced their entry costs to zero, and ongoing administration costs to a very modest percentage - typically about 1.5% a year.

This is considerably less than most investors would pay to cover their overall costs in managing a direct-investment portfolio.

Professional help

A good professional advisor will evaluate your needs and circumstances before recommending one or another investment vehicle to you.

This vehicle should, above all, be appropriate to your own particular needs and investment criteria, which may be very different from those of another investor, for whom a quite different vehicle would be more appropriate.

If the recommended vehicle suits your needs and its features meet your specific criteria, the associated charges will usually be fair for the benefits it provides.

On the other hand, it is unfortunate that some financial advisers sometimes recommend investment vehicles that are better for their own or their firm’s pockets than for the client’s.

If you feel that the vehicle being recommended to you carries inordinately high charges, or is not appropriate to your requirements, this may be why.

In this event, ask what alternatives are available.

A client-orientated professional will be able to discuss such alternatives with you, or at least explain to you why the vehicle he’s recommended is best for your circumstances in comparison with other products from other institutions.

If you’re not satisfied with the explanation given, seek a second opinion elsewhere.

Simplicity

Whichever route you go - direct or indirect - remember the KISS principle: Keep It Simple Stupid.

You don’t need to sacrifice diversity or flexibility in the name of simplicity; just keep your investment portfolio within manageable bounds.

Keeping it as simple as you can effectively manage will enable you to monitor it better, reduce your overall costs, manage it more effectively - and probably get a better return.

If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, write to Leslie Wright, c/o Family Money, Pattaya Mail, or fax him directly on (038) 232522 or e-mail him at [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.

Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments.

The computer doctor

by Richard Bunch

I thought I would turn this week’s column over to one of the hot topics at the moment, the Pentium III processor from Intel.

What! You haven’t rushed out and bought one? Intel will be disappointed.

The Pentium III processor is currently available at 450MHz and 500MHz with 800MHz to follow, and is Intel’s most advanced, most powerful processor for desktop PCs. It offers blistering performance for the next generation of Internet, which was fundamental in its design as well as vastly enhanced multimedia handling. This is provided through Katmai, which improves processing of multimedia functions and replaces the now outdated MMX technology.

The new processor is firmly entrenched in the multimedia camp and will therefore have little impact on business software applications, which as a rule tend to be devoid of multimedia functions.

Within this increased multimedia functionality comes vastly improved voice capabilities enabling, in theory, accurate voice recognition and automatic encryption of data. The processor unbelievably includes 72 new instructions for, amongst other things, accelerating the performance of three-dimensional graphics applications.

Already, minor glitches have been found, not particularly with the chip but with application interaction. Windows operating systems have trouble recognising the processor, which is reported as a Pentium II. Microsoft assures us this is innocuous and will not present any performance problems. Windows 98 will support the new Katmai instruction set.

One bone of contention that has attracted much publicity and controversy is the addition of a serial number. Intel claims this was designed to enhance the Internet experience, which will enable users to benefit from increased security on the web. For example the processor serial number, when used with user name and password, can be used by websites to strengthen security when conducting e-commerce or setting up members-only chat rooms. The processor serial number does not and cannot transmit or "broadcast" information over the Internet.

As to whether you need to rush out and buy one today, the answer is obviously personal and dependant on the applications you are presently running. But unless you are using resource hungry multimedia applications the rewards for so doing are unlikely to warrant it. In any event you should remember that the new processors potential will not be unleashed until applications incorporate the Katmai technology. In the meantime, the best advice if buying a new PC is to buy the highest specified machine you can within your available budget.

Please let me have your questions, I’ll try to help.

The comments contained within this column are not necessarily the views of the author or Pattaya Mail Publishing Co., Ltd. Letters may be edited.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or E-mail to [email protected].

Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer Technologies, providing total Information Technology solutions to clients on the Eastern Seaboard.

Successfully Yours: The Italian Affair

by Mirin MacCarthy

Carmen Cavaliere and her partner Mario Quagliano are a well built Italian couple who have retired in their mid forties. No sitting around the pool eating pasta and drinking Chianti for them, though. They live for six months of the summer in Italy and six months here in Pattaya and every day of that they can be found training at the gym with friends.

Mario and Carmen at World Gym.

Body building trainers, Carmen won the European heavyweight championship last year and Mario was the Italian over 40 champion. Mario was already fit when he started body building and training in earnest 23 years ago, having left the Italian Seals Special Forces after an accident parachuting. Mario is technically blind, only seeing light and shadow although amazingly he has never thought of this as a handicap.

Mario studied anatomy, physiology and body building, teaching at University and has never looked back, winning amateur competitions and training and helping people. "It was important to me for a blind man to win a competition," said Mario. "I want to be able to teach people and help handicapped people with different problems. I believe that a good body is a good mind, and so it is important to me to be able to help many people."

Carmen explained, "In Torino, Italy, there is a renowned hospital for handicapped children named Couolengo. Mario helps out by lifting the disabled children into the swimming pool and helping them move their arms and legs in the water. I am his driver."

Carmen and Mario have been together for 22 years. When they first met, Carmen had commenced training just to lose some kilos. "I started only for my body, I didn’t want to go into competition but Mario pushed me. It was good because I was only 20 years old and very shy. I started to win and discovered it was good for my mind also. Many girls don’t like too much muscle the same as men, though I found when I am in competition it is good for my mental development as well as my body."

When they are not training three hours a day for the three months prior to competitions, Mario plays the guitar, listens to taped books, and plays chess. "People tell me the positions, chess is all in the mind anyway," and even paints for fantasy, "What I think of as stylized movements, my inspiration is Leonardo da Vinci, he was brilliant."

Does all that training and exercise hurt? "Yes, of course it does to start with, we are probably masochists. It is very difficult training here in Thailand where it is also so hot," laughs Carmen.

Mario adds, "It would take a year’s training of only about an hour a day and watching your diet to get fit and have a good body, then about two years to win a competition. In training the real competition is with the weights."

"Competition is very hard. A diet of chicken and rice and water only for three months and training three hours a day is a difficult sacrifice. Though when you win, you are happy - you are in paradise, and you forget all the hardship."

When here in Pattaya, Carmen and Mario train with friends at the World Gym in Soi Regent Marina.

Mario believes, "If you want to develop to championship status, genetics plays an important factor. You must have a good body symmetry. I prefer to stay with the amateur ranks and not go in for excessive proportions. I prefer a big brain and smaller muscles." It appears that over the years Mario and Carmen have additionally developed big hearts.

Snap Shots: Put your name in neon lights

by Harry Flashman

Here in this Disneyland we call Pattaya, the streets at night are a forest of neon signs. Neon colours have a special quality to them and I have been asked how to capture these neons on film. Actually, the capturing is not too difficult, it is the printing that is the hard part, but that is another story all on its own!

Now obviously the only time to photograph neon signs is at night and, just as obviously in this low light situation, your fully automatic Olympocanoyashikon camera does its computations and switches on its flash. This, unfortunately, is where the modern cameras are just too smart for themselves. A flash is the last thing you need when taking neon lights. The reason for this is that the strong white flash burst totally overpowers the weaker neon illumination and washes out all the pretty colours (the reason you wanted to take the shot in the first place!).

No, at night learn to turn off the auto-flash and use the neon itself as the light source for the photograph. Check your manual if you do not know how!

So what shutter speed and aperture settings should you use? If you have an auto setting on the camera, or you are using a fully automatic point and shooter, then you are set up. No fancy calculations are required. The camera’s meter will do it all for you. For once, Harry Flashman is happy to let the electronic brain do its thing.

However, with the low levels, you may find that the shutter speed will be fairly slow and you will get some sort of warning appearing in the viewfinder. It is best to use a tripod or hold the camera firmly on the roof of a parked car to stop blurring.

If you want to get technical and do it all manually, then meter from the neon glow itself and then shoot not only at that setting, but also from one stop below and one stop above. This the pro’s call "bracketing" and it just simply increases your chances of getting a good shot. In the photography bizz, a pro must come back with the goods - no excuses are acceptable! Not even torrential rain.

Now, to really go to town with the neon sign effects, dig deep into the camera bag and grab your filters. If you have a soft focus one, then put it on for a couple of shots too. Another interesting variant is to tightly stretch a nylon stocking over the lens. The result here will be a "halo" around the neon and can make for a very attractive photograph. Try putting a "starburst" or a rainbow filter on as an alternative. You are just looking for different results, remember.

Another great visual effect is to put the camera on the tripod and use a zoom lens. Select a shutter speed of around ten seconds and slowly "zoom" while the shutter is open. You will get something very different with this technique. Something like a 3D movement effect.

Finally, for something totally "off the wall" try this - find a shop or sidewalk eatery where they use (often coloured) hanging neon tubes as illumination. These are only fixed at the top and can swing. Stand someone on the other side, put the camera on a tripod and again select about ten seconds for the shutter speed. Now with the shutter open and the person standing as still as possible, swing the neon tube like a pendulum. The end result will have people asking how you did it for years!

Try some neon shots this weekend.

Modern Medicine: It’s all in your mind

by Dr Iain Corness

Can your personality determine the diseases you will get? According to the latest research it certainly can. In fact, much exacting clinical work has been done in this area recently to establish this as "factual" and not just subjective opinion.

However, this is really nothing new. In the ancient times of Hippocrates, the healers were interested in the personality of the patient, because they felt that this had a bearing on the disease process. This combination of mind and body and disease is the basis for holistic healing, and even though Hippocrates and his healers did not have all our pharmaceutical treatments and wonderful tests, they did treat the person, not just the disease.

So why do we fall ill in the first place? Is it a personal weakness, is it just "life-style" or just plain bad luck? Since I am not a great believer in "luck", be it good or bad, my leaning after many decades of medicine is towards personal weakness. After all, you can take two people with the same life style but one gets ill and the other does not. Why? One person was more susceptible than the other - in some way a pre-disposition or a "weakness". Simplistic I know, but it seems to fit.

So let us look at what factors seem to be involved in affecting the pre-disposition. Genetics do play a part - if your parents are diabetic then you will most likely have the problem too, but it is not the be all and end all. The modern scientific studies with large numbers of people have come up with interesting statistics.

One famous researcher, Eysenck, has lumped us all into four main personality categories. Type 1 have a strong tendency to suppress their emotions and tend towards "hopelessness" and are unable to deal with personal stress. Type 2 people, on the other hand, are also unable to deal with personal stress, but react to life with anger and aggression. Type 3 is less clear-cut with a mixture of all these personality traits, while Type 4 covers the optimistic and relaxed who deal much better with interpersonal stress.

Using these broad categories and looking at disease profiles that each type gets returned some amazing facts. Type 1 was the cancer prone group, Type 2 got the heart disease, Type 3 got both while Type 4 were not prone to either cancer or heart disease.

Eysenck did not stop there, however. He went on to show that when people modified their personality they also modified the expected disease profile. When you think about it, this is staggering stuff! By attention to your personality profile you can modify your disease profile!

The most significant personality trait was "anger". Learn to modify your anger response (and this can be done) and you become less "at risk". This is almost approaching Buddhist philosophy now - but you CAN modify your personality. That last sentence can make you live ten years longer, happier and disease free. Forget modern pharmaceuticals - I’ve just given you really powerful medicine! Think about that little piece of Hippocratic therapy.

Dear Hillary,

We have a maid who is wonderful and is an excellent cook. I was so pleasantly surprised that a Thai maid would be able to cook foreign food so well. She’s also excellent at cleaning. But she does tend to be a bit lazy.

After she finishes preparing breakfast, cleaning the house and fixing lunch, she SLEEPS half the afternoon. She goes to her room about one and doesn’t get up until it’s almost time to prepare dinner. After that she does the dishes and goes back to her room. I can understand that.

But how do I tell her that sleeping is really not ‘proper’ during the day?

Tongue-tied.

Dear Tongue,

Did you hire a maid or a slave?

What is she supposed to do during the afternoon; sit and wait for you to give orders or find extra work for her to do?

I too, have a lovely housekeeper and once her work is done, she can hang from the rafters. It’s none of my business.

If you need something done during the afternoon, just tell her politely. I’m sure she will not complain.

If you really are upset about this, ‘unload’ your frustrations on your friends and leave your maid alone. That way, you’ll have something to talk about and your maid will have some peace.

Dear Hillary,

What is it with this country? People are so uptight. The guys are so ‘prissy’. I’m an exchange student and live in a dorm here. It’s really weird in the showers. It’s a men’s shower room and I walked in one day and heard one of my friends, a Thai guy, singing. He hadn’t closed the shower door.

I had forgotten my soap. I opened the shower door to ask if I could borrow his. You would have thought I was his mother! He covered himself up like a girl.

C’mon Hillary, we’re both guys and have the same equipment. What was he so worried about?

Did he think I was going to rape him or something? I thought this was pretty weird and kinda insulting. It was like he thought I was after him!

Sheesh, why don’t these people grow up?

An Ordinary Guy

Dear Ordinary,

Weren’t you the same person who wrote to me a few months ago complaining that you didn’t like Thai men touching your behind?

I’m a bit confused. If you didn’t like another man touching your behind, can’t you understand that a man might want a bit of privacy in the shower?

Despite your experiences at Go-Go bars, genteel Thai people are very modest about their bodies. Most Thai women do not completely undress when they take a shower alone.

Your friend felt the same way you did when the Thai man grabbed your behind. He probably didn’t consider it sexual, but rather an invasion of his privacy.

Next time, just ask for the soap. It wasn’t necessary to open the shower stall door.

By the way, Thai people don’t like sharing soap.

GRAPEVINE

Dining Out: What’s an Iconoclast, Daddy?

There are some restaurants that you go to which excite your imagination. This can be through imaginative cuisine or imaginative décor - or sometimes even both. The Icon was one of those. Fabulous fare and dashing and daring décor. It should have become one of THE eating places for the Pattaya populace - and for a time it was.

Poolside at the Icon.

So why did it slowly lose that shine and image? The answer was simple in retrospect - the menu was too small and too restrictive. With only a few dishes on offer, it only took a few visits and you had eaten the menu through. No matter how nice the food, boredom set in and the tooth set moved on to another noshery.

Now David Shrubsole and William Ribbon from the Icon are not novices in the hospitality game. Rethink, adapt and adjust to market pressures has been their catch-cry, so it was with some measure of excitement that we lined up again at the Icon for dinner.

That fabulous ambience was still there. Walk through the doors and you are transported into a Thailand, as only your wildest imagination could dream. Natural materials such as bamboo and palm blend in with ancient pottery and symbols of old Siam. It sets the stage for a relaxed evening of eating and drinking.

But wait, the stage has been moved. Whilst the indoor dining area remains for those nights of inclemency, David and William have moved the tables to the perimeter of the pool. "We just felt that it gave a more relaxed atmosphere," said William - and it certainly does.

The menu was brought to our table - again another new feature. In place of the really restricted previous one, this new menu is in two halves. On one side an expanded Thai menu and on the other a limited, but sufficiently varied, European menu. For those who want something other than Thai there was a choice of 3 soups, 4 entrees, 5 Italian standards and 9 mains. Surely enough.

But it was the Thai side that interested me. I was pleased to see that two of my favourites were still there, the Tom Kha Gai and the "Icon Sensational Starter". However, this side had really expanded to cover 5 starters (ranging in price between 100 - 140 Baht), 7 salads (80 - 100 Baht), 5 seafoods (180 - 260 Baht), 5 meat dishes (90 - 250 Baht) and even 2 vegetable dishes.

The wine list had also undergone a substantial make-over. Picked by an obviously discerning palate were wines from France, New Zealand and Australia. Even better were the prices with the vast majority between 850 - 950 Baht, with the cheapest on offer being only 685 Baht. With some guidance from William, we chose the NZ Selwyn River Chenin-Chardonnay. This turned out to be a most complex and enjoyable wine - if you like a dry white, then try this one. An example of some of the fine wines coming from the Enzedders these days.

After the complimentary canapés we moved into the meal. Once again we couldn’t go past the Icon Sensational Starter. This is squid, pocketed with chicken and spices taken with a sweet chili sauce and truly is sensational. We also had Samui Crab Balls - a very smooth starter with a very sweet honey sauce. Good for anyone a little afraid of Thai cuisine!

For mains, my partner and I decided to try the European side with Madame choosing the filet mignon, and myself the chicken breast. Both were cooked to European standard and Madame’s meat was done to her instructions.

Being replete by the end of the mains, we (almost) skipped the interesting desserts selection, but Madame was seduced by the Chocolate Surprise. The fact that the plate was cleaned came as no surprise!

The Icon’s new menu will certainly change its image. There is now enough variety in the superb Thai side, with a complementary European menu for those guests who are timorous with Thai. Icon won us back with their new image. Go and try it yourself.

And what’s an iconoclast? It is someone who breaks previous images. Well done David and William.

Animal Crackers: Cockatoo feathers

by Mirin MacCarthy

Although it was 1980, I still vividly remember the evening I was abruptly introduced to my prospective mother-in-law and her shocking cockatoo, "Soda".

As it was in the early stages of the romance I was horrified when out driving with my friend when he announced with studied casualness, "We will just call in and see my mother. Oh! By the way, don’t say anything about the bird."

Soda and his coat of many colours.

A few minutes later I was confronted by Soda, surely the most ugly bird ever. It looked like a plucked chicken in a football jumper. Fortunately, words failed me. Apparently Ella, a warm cuddly Scottish lady, had saved her featherless friend from impending death by knitting it jumpers. Ella and Soda even made it into the Australian Women’s Weekly knitting pattern book. (This is no lie as the photo shows. The pattern is still available.)

Ella is a natural with animals, having mothered possums, butcher birds, tortoises and other improbable orphans over the years. When told her now featherless cockatoo had incurable Psittacine Beak and Feather Disease (P.B.F.D.) causing beak deformities, feather loss and eventual death from pneumonia, Ella decided that her bird was not going to die for want of clothes. Every month she changed it’s little football jumper and took it along to the vet for a beak trim. It is still alive today and just as startling in its knitted finery.

No feathers

PBFD is a disease which is endemic in wild Australian parrots, especially sulphur crested cockatoos, galahs and lorikeets. It is also a problem in captive parrots in America and the U.K., corellas, budgerigars, lovebirds, Major Mitchell’s and princess parrots are also in the firing line.

Affecting the growing cells in the feathers, beaks and occasionally claws, it often damages the immune system. PBFD is a contagious virus, though some birds never develop symptoms, apparently heredity determining the immunity to or severity of it. Some birds like lucky Soda remain in generally good health despite their beak and feather problems. Most die though within two or three years from a depressed immunity to pneumonia, scepticaemia, liver failure or enteritis. Unless you are a gifted care giver like Ella and knitting is your hobby it is advisable never to purchase a bird that is not fully feathered, regardless of what the seller says, and to isolate all new comers for at least three weeks.

Your stories

I want to share your tales of amazing, amusing, or inspiring animal stories that you know of or hear about. Contact me by fax 038-427596 or email to [email protected]. I will publish your stories here and credit the author, but please keep it short (up to 300 words).

Auto Mania: Eddie gives Malaysia the Thumbs Up

By Dr. Iain Corness

Surprise winner of the Australian Grand Prix, Eddie (the mad Irishman) Irvine, has had the opportunity to drive around the Sepang circuit in Malaysia. Having left the F399 in Melbourne, Irvine was behind the wheel of a Ferrari F50 to inspect the track as well as the facilities around the circuit, while attending the opening ceremony of the new circuit. Eddie was most impressed with Sepang. "It’s a good driver’s circuit, very tricky, very technical. There is a lot of variation of corners, and that always makes set-up very tricky. There are also a lot of difficult entrances to corners and the exits are quite wide so you’ve got to keep your speed up. There are a couple of overtaking opportunities; a couple of corners where the entry line is ambiguous, so there are probably two lines into the corner: one will give you a better exit and the other will give you a better entry. I think that could give us some good racing." This is all pretty good news for F1 and just by the way, not bad news for us either. Malaysia isn’t far from here. Perhaps we should be thinking of getting a few of us together and doing a package deal. What do you reckon?

The Power is Ford!

The new Ford engine, as used in the Stewarts, has proved itself to be a top power unit. While Renault (Meccachrome) had ruled the roost till recently, and then the "Mercedes" (made in the UK by Ilmor Engineering), it was obvious in Melbourne that the Stewarts had the legs of the others.

There’s no doubt that much of the credit for the Stewart’s performance lays at the door of Ford. "The Mercedes and ours are the strongest engines out there," said Nick Hayes of Ford. "The Ferrari’s quite good, and the Honda is too, but I think we’re better." Now that is certainly not called hiding your light under a bushel!

A year ago, one might have laughed at such boasts - however, the Ford looked highly effective last weekend. The big question mark (as ever) is reliability - and to that end Ford do not intend resting on their laurels. They are currently working on a new, lighter engine - and the current power-house weighs less than 100 kg!

"It is already lighter than it was three weeks ago, and we’re doing other things to make it lighter still," Hayes added. BAR, Williams and Benetton will not be pleased.

U.S. Grand Prix

Yes! It’s back on the calendar - but next year! Only problem is that Indianapolis Motor Speedway boss Tony George doesn’t know the date.

The U.S. is always bigger and better and our mate Tony reckons 200,000 people will attend the next year’s Yankee GP. However, in order to maximise attendance, the event must be scheduled for exactly the right time. "Bernie’s aware of my desire to have an autumn date, but I don’t know whether he shares that," said Tony earlier this week.

The Yanks want an Autumn date because of the weather. Bernie Ecclestone, however, fancies a June date - providing a back to back with Canada. Tony George says that June would not be good due to a clash with the Indy 500 and NASCAR’s Winston Cup Indy 400. If it all becomes too much, send ‘em over here, Bernie. We’ll accommodate them at Bira!

Autotrivia Quiz

Not too many of you have had experience with a Berkeley, the subject of last week’s Autotrivia. The question related to the drive train on these pocket rockets. The interesting part was that they were chain drive and also front wheel drive. With basically motorcycle engines, it should have come as no surprise that the final drive was by chains.

There was another, much more recent car with chain drive. It was a sports car from a current manufacturer. It was more famous for its hi-tech engine that could rev like a buzz saw, but it had the really primitive drive train. So for this week’s FREE beer - what was that car? Fax me at the Editorial Office on 427 596 or email [email protected]

How much for too much welly?

The cost of speeding can be high when you are caught in Oz. For Jacques Villeneuve it worked out at 126,666 Baht per kilometre. He was 3 KPH over the 80 KPH limit in pit lane at the latest Australian F1 GP on the Saturday practice. End result was a 380,000 Baht fine from the stewards. Bureaucracy gone mad as usual.

Motor sport in Australia is controlled by the Confederation of Australian Motor Sport (CAMS) which some race drivers have unkindly called the "Conspiracy Against Motor Sport". The best advice I used to give any driver in Australia is to never go to a stewards meeting. If they can’t find you, they can’t fine you. That was my motto!

Reminds me of one meeting when we had finished racing and had loaded the car on the trailer ready to go home and up runs a flunky. "This car is impounded," he said breathlessly. "What for?" was my reply. "I don’t know, but it’s impounded," he replied. Three minutes later, the stewards arrived and walked around my car incommunicado and looking grim, peering underneath the front and then informed me that a protest had been lodged against my car’s eligibility.

For once I agreed to go to the stewards’ room and meet the driver who had protested. I was told that the other guy had the floor and I was to remain quiet until he had put his case forward, and then I would be given the right to disprove his case. Guilty until proved innocent!

He waffled on and then I was asked what I had to say about it. "Nothing at all," was my reply. "Aren’t you going to defend yourself?" the Stewards asked. "I don’t have to," was my reply. "The race meeting finished two hours ago and all protests have to be lodged within the hour. The car is mine to do with what I like and I am going home!"

Trapping the stewards themselves on a point of order is always fun! I think I’ll write to Jacques Villeneuve and offer my services.

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