Pattaya Mail — Sports

Maunder/Cooley trash the Royal Garden fleet in Pattaya Bay

by Peter Cummins, Pattaya

Pattaya’s own Murray Maunder and runner Jay Cooley were an unbeatable team last Sunday when they won, by a huge margin, the 1998 Royal Garden Resort Koh Larn Classic yacht race-cum-Hash run, in the fastest time so far recorded of the eight held. Murray’s brilliant sailing, combined with fleet-footed Jay’s record-breaking run across Koh Larn in 34.53 mins., spelled ‘finito’ for the rest of the large fleet of sailors and runners who participated.

First organized in 1991, by Pattaya "STALLwart" (actually, John Stall), who only recently abandoned Pattaya for the more salubrious environment of Koh Samui, the annual Classic comprises a yacht race from the Royal Varuna Yacht Club to Koh Larn and back. At the northern tip of the island, each craft disgorges its runner who sprints north-south across the ‘spine’, then turns west to re-join the skipper sailing along Koh Larn’s western shore. A desperate leg back east to the Royal Varuna seals the event.

The Classic joins the Hash House Harriers and Harriettes with the Royal Varuna sailors, with a predictable result. As one of the organizers remarked: "the Koh Larn Classic is one huge ‘hash bash’ combined with a ‘booze cruise’. It takes the rest of the year to recover."

With a total sail and run time of 2 hrs. 6 mins. 27secs., the Maunder/Cooley Hobie Cat 16 picked off the 1998 honours by an incredible 18-minute margin, ahead of second-placed Peter Herning/John Quarnby aboard Herning’s big Nacra 6.0. Actually, Herning was not very far behind Maunder at the finishing line. In the faster Nacra 6, however, he SHOULD, rather, have crossed the line ... IN FRONT! Thereafter, with the handicap adjustment in the Hobie Cat’s favour, Murray increased the few minutes between them at the finishing line to 18 minutes on corrected time.

A better indication of the extent of the Maunder/Cooley annihilation would be the 23 minutes they were ahead of third-placed Tim Wienands and runner Paul Mahon. As defending champions, this team was hardly a "push over", either! With both Murray and Tim sailing Hobie Cat 16s, there was, therefore, no handicap consideration: just speed - on the sea and on the land.

Registering a very fine performance indeed in - what to him was - the unfamiliar world of Hobie Cat sailing, Jens Overgaard and runner Julietta finished fourth.

Then followed Nick Moore/Frank Noriega (Nacra 5), Kevin Whitcraft/Olaf Schaefer (HC-16), Steve Blackburn/Chris (Nacra 5.8), Thomas Fritzche/Pam (Nacra 16 Sq.) and Mark Kovalevsky/Tony (Nacra 5.5), to round out the first nine placings.

Title for the shortest race must go to Chris King and Marie who, bolting away to the front of the fleet prior to the rounding of Koh Chun (Lighthouse Island) off Pattaya Bay, saw their speed lowered somewhat when the mast of Chris’ Nacra 16 Square decided to leave the craft. "Koh Chun and I were soon on a first-name basis," he remarked after drifting around the island for a long time before being towed home.

The under-statement of the 1998 event must be attributed to Steve Blackburn who, to help relieve a shortage of boats, took three other people aboard. At some 300 kg. all-up crew weight, Steve noted that the Nacra was a "little sluggish... would not lift on the reaches."

Winner of the Karl Schmid Trophy for the fastest runner was Jay Cooley (34.53) whose previous wins have been in 1995 (33 mins.) and last year in 34.40. This year is regarded as the record for the trail was somewhat longer. Second fastest was Paul Mahon (36.33) with arch-rival runner - and 1996 winner - John Quarnby (39.33). Then followed Chris (41.49), Struan (46.32), Tony (47.27) and first lady runner, Julietta (54.17).

One can only marvel at Bruce who, not having a skipper, took a power boat to Koh Larn and then proceeded to the meeting-point - on a motorcycle.

One can also marvel at these athletes’ feats whereas some of the more sedentary amongst us look with dismay at our own insidious "athlete’s foot".

There could not have been better conditions for this year’s Royal Garden Koh Larn Classic, the much-awaited sail-run annual event. With a moderate (15-18 Knot) southerly, a sparkling sea and a clear day, combined with excellent race management, top-class Royal Garden catering and an evening of fun, it spelled the magic formula for an outstanding success.

The only blemish on an otherwise marvellous horizon was the presence of countless jet-skis, driven a high speed by brainless morons, right in among the yachts. Heartening news is that from May onwards these idiot machines will be banned from all Phuket waters and beaches (though we have all heard that before - ad nauseum). We in Pattaya can only hope, though, that our city fathers will take some similar action before too many people are killed and the environment is totally destroyed.

The Royal Varuna Clubhouse, usually comatose on Sunday evening when the members have returned to fight another round with the horrors of Bangkok, came to vivid life in the "apres hash" ambience. Aching bones, sunburn and tired muscles could not stop the hilarity, led by the singers and band from the Royal Thai Navy.

In the midst of it all, there appeared a Swiss mountaineer, complete with his four-metre Alphorn (yes, it had come as accompanied baggage from Zurich to Bangkok).

Race officers Dave Wales and Gilbert Leemann ran a "tight ship" so to speak, taking no chances of mishaps, especially with the less experienced hashers (yachting-wise, that is) some of whom were sailing for the first time.

According to Skip Heinecke, Royal Garden Resorts Vice President of Communications, the Koh Larn Classic is a most appropriate event for Royal Garden sponsorship. For, of all sports, hobbies and past-times, it would be difficult to find any human activity more environmentally-friendly than running and yacht racing: both rely entirely on human endeavour - the latter requiring the added assistance of Nature’s forces.

In fact, extracts of the Royal Garden Resorts much-acclaimed "Eco code of conduct" could well have been written for the Koh Larn Classic. For example, it states: "Follow designated trails and paths... leave only foot- prints. Do not litter." The Hashers, certainly, only followed "designated trails and left only their footprints behind on Koh Larn.

The Koh Larn Classic, sponsored since its inception in 1991 by the Royal Garden Resorts Pattaya Hotel, brings together the sailors of the Royal Varuna Yacht Club and the Bangkok Hash House Harriers: a liaison which is guaranteed to be a "roaring" success. The 1996 event surpassed, even, the expectations of all concerned.

When entrepreneur John Stall designed the Koh Larn Classic, it became the third such. It joined the exulted company of the "Four Peaks Race", a 36-hour endurance test of sailing 76 nautical miles, 20 miles of overland running and scaling four peaks, first organized by Hong Kong’s Aberdeen Boat Club, in 1985.

The other is the Australian "Three Peaks Race", a most gruelling test of man and machine around the island state of Tasmania which, for the slower yachts - and runners - can be a four-day marathon. Initiated in 1988, one run alone in last year’s event took an incredible 18 hours when a team was lost in the fog and rain of one of Tasmania’s mountains.

Fortunately, the Koh Larn Classic is much more "user-friendly" than either of these, as the runners learned last Sunday.

As Fred Sommer, principal organizer of the event observed, "It was a great show; one of the best. We now have a year of Hash runs to prepare for 1999."

Vegas team hit jackpot in PSC softball

Game 1:

Bombers 0 1 0 0 0 3 2 6

Vegas 2 2 0 0 0 7 x 11

Game 2:

Vegas 1 1 6 0 2 8 2 20

Bombers 0 0 0 1 0 2 0 3

Alan Vegas’ slow pitch softball team swept a doubleheader vs. Jim Bechtel’s Bombers 11 - 6 and 20 - 3 last Sunday at the weekly Pattaya Sports Club softball game.

There was little scoring early on, in the first game with swirling winds and game threatening dark clouds. After 5 innings, Alan’s home team held a 4 - 1 lead on solid defense from Sterling at third base, Rick at shortstop and Robert at second.

Bechtel’s Bombers tied the score 4 - 4 in the 6th with clutch hits from Dick, Jim, David, Gordon and Terry. However, in the bottom of the 6th Alan’s squad broke open the game with solid hitting from Kiwi Rick, Craig, Rick and first time player Bob, winning the game 11 - 6.

After a 10 minute hotdog break, Alan’s crew jumped out early in game 2 8 - 0 after three innings and never looked back. Great hitting from the entire squad was too much for Jim’s Bomber’s, turning the softball game into a football score; 20 - 3.

Games are every Sunday at 2 p.m. at Pattaya School #7 on Sukhumvit Highway just past Greenway driving range and Caltex gas station. Equipment is provided, refreshments and transportation are available. All are welcome. Questions? Stop by the Hare House any day on Soi Post Office opposite DK Bookstore and ask for Wayne.

Quiz league news

Jackson is the capital of which US state? What are the two colors of the Vatican flag? With another resounding win on February 18, it can be assumed that Cheers have won this season’s Wednesday quiz cup although the competitions continue until late March. The Sunday league finishes on March 1st and the almighty battle between Cheers and Rising Sun continues unabated. Answers to the questions above are Mississippi and Yellow/White.

Sunday League

Rising Sun 1385 points

Cheers 1381

Bob’s 1344

Pleasure Dome 1341

Palmer’s 1340

Mick’s 1317

Londoner 1222

Billy and Da 1167

Poteen Still 1144

Tippy’s 973

Wednesday League

Cheers 63 credits

Rising Sun 51

Bob’s 51

Billy and Da 50

Palmer’s 48

Fawlty Towers 46

Rovers’ Return 30

Sixties 29

Morgans wins at Khao Keow to earn Player of the Month

Another great contingent of players/competitors representing England, Wales, Belgium and Finland turned out for the Pattaya Golf Society stroke play round at Khao Kheow on Tuesday, February 24th, all competing for leader positions and the final competition for Player of the Month.

Having to play off orange tees presented problems for the average player, none more than rejuvenated Andy, although small in stature but big in heart and endeavour. Playing up short on the par 5, where a water hazard created problems, Andy proceeded to place his next shot, yes, into the water. He was heard regaling a few adjectives, that he might just as well put his tee shot into the water initially.

Honours deservedly went to Colin Morgan after carding a net 74, which also earned him the "Player of the Month" award. Colin felt some consolation with this award particularly as his country’s devastating Rugby defeat by England 60 points to 24. His compatriots Alan Lamb, George Meigh, and John Hopkins all went to ground last weekend. It was also noted that Cheers Bar went into mourning.

Second position went to Arthur Blackly with a net 77. An ex-Chelsea, Carlisle, Ramsgate and Margate ex-pro footballer and now PGS high handicap golfer destined to become the Jessie of all Jessies. This is his first success since kick starting his golf career with many more to follow.

Third position went to Jessie Big John Williams with a net 78. Coming under pressure by the emergence of new high handicap opposition.

Player of the Month Colin Morgan found February to be a rewarding month on the golf courses of Chonburi with 2 wins and 2 seconds. His scores: at Pattaya Country Club - 36 Stableford points. Great Lakes - net 68. Sriracha - 35 Stableford points. Khao Kheow - net 74. This consistency will place him firmly in the Jessie class.

Tommy Jeeves’ form for February was also worthy of mention with competition positions of a 1st, 2nd, 6th, and 6th. Well done Tommy.

Club Notes: A full society meeting was held 18:00 hrs. at Big John’s Bar on Tuesday, March 3rd.

Transport leaves Big John’s Bar at 10:00 a.m. every Tuesday at 383/5 Soi Chaiyapoon.

Bolton John’s absence last Tuesday was due to extensive travelling around the lanes of Pattaya and district looking for his new bungalow. The dust bowls he encountered affecting his eyes needing medication and nothing to do with his association with "witchery". A document depicting the "Witches of Lancashire" evident at Big John’s bar reveals Big John’s ancestry connection with the witches’ covens and friends of named nutters.

Society welcomes the return of Les and all visitors to Pattaya are assured of a warm welcome.

Mascari masters Green Valley to take Splinter Open Championship

Steve Mascari net 68 (Gross 74), low gross/SGG Open Champion

B Flight

1st: Jerry Quinn, net 74 (won on count back)

2nd: Michael O’Meara, net 74

3rd: Ebrahim al-Ansari, net 74

A Flight

1st: Larry Nichols, net 70 (won on count back)

2nd: Alan Kieth, net 70

3rd: Tony Stevens, net 70

To the surprise of no one, recent Pattaya émigré Steve Mascari shot a torrid 74, net 68 to take the First Splinter Golf Group Open sponsored by the Diana Group. Sixty PSC golfers followed Steve around the course enjoying a windy day of golf, followed by a magnificent party at the Diana Inn. In his third win in the last three outings, Steve has firmly established ownership rights to the Rayong Green Valley course. Steve claims that the key to his recent success has been picturing the ball as an IRS agent?

Both B and A flights were closely fought, with count backs determining all prizes in both divisions.

Photo: Steve Mascari, winner of the Splinter Golf Group Open, receives his trophy from Sophin Thepjug, CEO of the Diana Group.

In the biggest surprise of the day, Jerry Quinn, after a recent series of lessons with Richard Livingston, took a handicap cut and still managed to take B for his first win in a major PSC event. On equal net 74’s were Mick and Ebrahim.

In A, winner Larry Nichols was able to avert last minute disaster by having his UK Golf Club confirm his handicap by fax. On matching net 70’s were newcomer Alan Kieth and Tony Stevens.

All prizes were kindly presented to winners by the CEO of the Diana Group, Khun Sophin at the après-golf pool side buffet deliciously prepared by the Green Bottle kitchen.

Winning closest to the pin prizes, generously donated by Green Valley, were Anders Aberg on #4, Tony Stephens #7, Roger Smith #11 and Joachim Johansson on #15.

The tournament organizers of Steve Ross, Tony Stevens, Neil Cameron and Splinter Chairman Roger Smith offered their thanks to all PSC golfers who took part, as well as the Green Bottle Pub (Diana Group) and Green Valley Rayong for their continuing support for all Splinter Golf activities.

PSC Golf next week

Pattaya Sports Club golf offers a full slate of tournaments this week, beginning with a stroke play competition at Siam Country Club from Café Kronborg and a Stableford competition at Laem Chabang with the Splinter Golf Group from the Green Bottle, both taking place on Monday, March 9th.

On Wednesday March 11th, the Splinter Golf Group goes to Bangpra for a Stableford round, while The Alternative Golf Gentlemen’s Society (TAGGS) at the Hare House goes to Great Lake for a better ball medal tournament.

The Café Kronborg goes to N. P Resort on Thursday, March 12th for a Stableford competition.

Both the Splinter Golf Group and the TAGGS players show no fear of Friday the 13th. SGG will be going to Pattaya Country Club for a better ball match, while TAGGS tempts fate with a Stableford competition at N. P. Resort.

Also for more details of January fixtures visit the PSC Golf Web site at www.pattayasports.org

Pattaya Hash House Harriers "Hash Sheet"

by Redcoat

Run 728 - Monday, 23.2.98

"Life sets weary, don’t it." I have never objected to attempting to write what is laughingly known as the "Hash Sheet". But when you are volunteered by his pinkness LADY DI, that geriatric fading star of the catwalk, it sets you back a little. However, on with the onerous talk...

My first impression on returning from months of flogging dead horses in pubs and clubs in the U.K., was what’s different. Answer: everything. I hardly recognized the Monday Hash, the only thing that hadn’t changed were the Scandis. Same blank looks, fresh lobotomy scars in evidence, and those weird hurdy gurdy sounds they utter. I am sure they only pretend to understand each other.

This leads me nicely to comment on the actual run; not much I can say really. PEGLEG is an old master at laying runs. He rarely messes things up, even with two retards as co hares. Nice length. That’s the run, not Eric. Plenty of check’s, not too taxing to solve, although paper was a little sparse, the scenery was excellent, plenty of flora, not much fauna.

The A site couldn’t have been better. We even had salami thrown in, although I have it on good authority the salami came from boy’s town. So floss well, folks!

The circle was notable by its brevity, but that’s a personal opinion. AIRHEAD, as usual, went into auto-pilot, but after so many years doing the same thing even some one of his stature must despair at times. Sadly, most of the classic rule infringers are no longer around. They are either dead, in de-tox, or being fed milk foods in sanatoriums.

Yours truly serenaded the taffs (they don’t really shag sheep, do they?). FOSSIL and B.L. were reunited on the ice that brought back many happy memories when FOSSIL was selling her soul in order to steal hash shirts. That’s another story, though. Let’s not forget DIRT LOONEY, the surrogate, he of the alien tongue, which incidentally comes into great use in the Linda Bar. He spends so much time in this establishment they have presented him with his own emergency kit: gold lame dress, sling backs, fish nets, and sequined K.Y. holder (Jock’s were born to wear dresses anyway).

Not much more to say, because as stated, if you bunked you missed the circle. So I will close this short missive by saying: thanks PEGLEG and co horts, you did well and thanks to LADY DI for dripping me in the sweet and smelly.

On On REDCOAT

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