Dear
Hillary,
Lately I been having problems with my boss. For the past few weeks he has been
complaining about everything I do and tries to ruin my reputation by assaulting
me. I have been performing my job the same way as usual, maybe even better than
one year ago after I arrived. Still, important information isn’t passed on to
me, and on the other hand he’s over-loading me with work which doesn’t fall into
my regular duties. Last week, I had to refuse some of this work for I wouldn’t
have had the time for it. He took this advantage to call me ‘not-qualified’ - in
front of my co-workers. It was very humiliating for me, even though my
colleagues are backing me up and many of them don’t understand his behavior
towards me.
What should I do about it? My boss is making me sick!
On sick-leave right now.
Dear Sick-leave,
You are not alone with this problem. Many people get sick as soon as they have
real problems within their company. But getting sick is not the proper way out
of this dilemma.
Usually, if there are fights and abasement amongst colleagues, it’s called
‘mobbing’. The affected person can go to the boss to complain about it, yet in
your case your own boss is ‘bossing’ you around.
Maybe he’s under pressure himself, be it with too much work or by the
company-directorate. Try to elucidate the situation with him. If this doesn’t
help, ask - if possible- to be transferred to another department. Meanwhile, try
to make allies amongst your colleagues, keep records about those incidents and
also keep records about anything you are working on, to show the top-management
in case he tries to dismiss you.
Only consider quitting your job if you really cannot stand it anymore and your
health-problems get worse. I am sure, being qualified and efficient, it should
be not too hard for you to find another job.
Dear Hillary,
I have a boyfriend. Or don’t I? Sometimes I’m not too sure what he is to me. We
have been going out on a regular basis for the past few months. He always tells
me how much he cares for me, but, can you believe it, he hasn’t kissed me once
yet.
I have the strong impression he’s got a problem.
He is a Thai with an American father who abandoned his family when he was about
8 years old. Now 28, he’s still living with his mother and he acts like it.
Whenever I see him, he’s neatly dressed, even his Jeans have a crease! He always
looks like mom dressed him the proper way.
I like him a lot, but somehow I’m totally frustrated. What can I do to encourage
him and make him a bit loose?
Unsure about my boyfriend.
Dear Unsure,
It might not be too common in Europe if a 28 year old man still lives with his
mother, but in Thailand things are different. You mentioned that his father
abandoned the family while your boyfriend was still very young. This might be a
reason why he doesn’t like to leave his mother. Staying with his mother might be
the reason that he’s got no experience with young ladies. On the other hand,
have you ever thought about him being gay? Maybe he really cares for you a lot,
but...
Why don’t you take the first step and seduce him? By doing so, you could find
out a lot. If you love him it’s worth a try. By the way, many men like it if the
woman is tempting.
