Winebibber’s Grapevine

Dear Hillary,
I am a 55 year old white male who retired with a better than average pension that I now use to live on here in Pattaya. I never married because, well, to be honest, I’m not exactly what you would call God’s gift to women. I’ll also admit that the friendly reception I receive here from Thai women was one of the big factors for me to retire here, even though I fully realize that most of the women I’ve been with here would never have given me a second look if it weren’t for the fact that I have a lot of money and am willing to share it with them.

I now have a "steady girlfriend" and the problem is that I am starting to get a little tired of always handing over money to her. It’s not so much the act of giving that I’m beginning to resent, but the fact that she takes it so much for granted. She even calls me her "Big ATM". I’ve stopped short of buying her family a house and car (which she did ask for), but she is constantly asking for a new gold necklace, 10,000 baht for this, or 10,000 baht for that. If I don’t give it to her, she pouts, withholds sexual favours, and generally acts like a pain until I give in. I really like this girl and I’m even considering marrying her, but I’m afraid I’ll lose her if I stop handing out cash all the time. Yet she’s going to run me broke if I don’t start slowing down the cash outflow a little. My question to you is, how can I curb this spending and still hold on to her?

Sign me,
Slowly Emptying The Big ATM

Dear Big ATM,
As you realize what is really happening here, I will be totally blunt. This woman and your relationship is rather like the movie ‘Gigi’. I would call her your courtesan, rather than your girlfriend. You understand that the relationship is based mainly on money and not romantic love.

This is not uncommon in Thailand. What you must do is adjust to this ‘lifestyle’. Thai men who have ‘minor wives’ usually know how to handle them. They don’t live with them. They rent them an apartment, give them a certain amount of spending money each month and give them the occasional gold chain and new dress. In these type of relationships, there is a point which each realizes may not be crossed.

You have given your ‘girlfriend’ the status of a ‘major’ wife by allowing her to live with you. In Thailand major wives come from the same class as their husbands. The major wife and the man usually have children. The major wife is trusted by the man as they have built a family. Thai men don’t feel that they are ‘betraying’ their wives by having a minor wife. She’s merely a ‘bauble’ with which to play. The ‘minor’ wife is supported and the man receives sexual gratification from this young tootsie. So, you have put yourself in a culturally uncomfortable situation.

If you do marry your ‘girlfriend’ she will have rights to your property which you may not want her to have. Think this over carefully.

For now, tell her in a businesslike fashion how much money you will give her each month. No matter how much you say, she will ask for more. Be firm. She will also expect a ‘shopping allowance’ for gold and clothing. Make a firm agreement on that. You know what you want, but do you really know what she wants? Establish this and you will feel much more secure.

Sorry for sounding like a ‘spoilsport’ but I believe you are ‘out of your depth’ in this situation.

  Modern Medicine: Gout

Presented by Bangkok-Pattaya Hospital

by Dr. Iain Corness

The acute condition of Gout could even be called "g-OW-t" according to most sufferers from this condition. It strikes around 4% of the population and is characterized by an acute arthritis in one joint. The most common is the joint in the big toe which becomes hot, red, swollen and very acutely tender.

One sufferer in the office recently could neither put a shoe on, or even walk in the acute phase. It is so painful you cannot even stand a bed sheet touching your toe at night.

It is an interesting condition from the medical viewpoint, even if it isn’t from the patient’s viewpoint! The cause is a high level of serum Uric Acid in the blood stream. The higher the concentration, the more likely you are to get an acute attack.

Basically what happens is that with high concentrations of the Uric Acid it crystallizes out into the joint, leaving very sharp, needle-like crystals crunching inside the articular surface of the joint. No wonder it is very painful!

So where does this Uric Acid come from? Well it comes in through the mouth, generally as red meat, but also as alcohol.

The typical gout sufferer is male, overweight, hypertensive, carnivorous and consumes large quantities of alcohol.

While there are treatments available which will lower the Uric Acid, to produce any worthwhile long term relief it is necessary to correct the life-style factors which precipitate the gout in the first place. The typical patient can expect to go on a diet, eat more vegetables, take more exercise and decrease their alcohol consumption. For many, this is too much of an imposition and they rely on treatment of acute attacks to get them through. This is, unfortunately, a short sighted attitude.

The long term outlook is not good for the unrepentant gout sufferer. The constant high levels can lead to "stones" consisting of uric acid and other material being deposited in the kidneys (producing renal problems) and even discharging lumps (called "Tophi") around joints, on the forearms and even on the outer ears.

Like all things in life, the "middle way" is the best way. If you are a sufferer from Gout, it may be high time you reviewed your lifestyle before your next painful attack!

  Family Money : Kicking balls in the dark

By Leslie Wright

Some investors avidly watch the markets and frequently switch their investments around according to whether a particular market is rising or falling.

Some investors go for a few shares of one or two stocks on one or two exchanges, or the ‘flavour of the month’ unit trust. Last week’s leading gainer (as quoted in the investor’s newspaper of choice or last night’s TV news program) is all too often this week’s most popular buy.

Sometimes this tactic can produce a handsome profit. Sometimes it can go seriously wrong.

Investors who constantly ‘tinker’ with their portfolios are inevitably trying to second guess the markets. That’s fine so long as they have the time, interest, and access to the specialised information to do so, and sometimes they get it spectacularly right. (Although in my experience this is more often by luck than by judgement.)

But do these short-term tactics constitute an investment strategy?

In my opinion, the answer to that question is a definite "No."

Shooting in the dark

All too often, short-term tactical changes bear little relationship to an overall investment strategy.

Tactical investors often have no clearly thought-out investment strategy, only a desire to make a quick profit however, wherever.

There’s nothing necessarily wrong with that. We all want to make money from our investments, and the more the better!