Winebibber’s Grapevine  

Dear Hillary,

Hillary, my eyes are so bleary I can barely put pen to paper. A decent night’s sleep would help. Our 4-year-old son, Benny, gets into our bed every night. He has been engaging in this REM-robbing behavior for more than 6 months. Of course, this is natural for all children, but he then goes spelunking under the covers for interminable lengths of time. After his expeditions, my husband and I find slipping back into the arms of Morpheus an impossible undertaking.
We have essayed all different methods of solution. We locked our bedroom portals, making ingress impossible. To our horror, Benny sat outside, lugubriously wailing for hours. We finally acquiesced to his demands.
Hillary your counsel is mandatory! How can we induce Benny to sleep in his OWN bed?

Sleepless in Pattaya

Dear Sleepless in Pattaya,
It is quite natural for children to want to be close to their parents. Nighttime is a time when most children feel quite isolated and vulnerable. They want to be near ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’. Your son could be having nightmares or seeing ‘monsters’. Hillary went through this phase as a child. This is normal. By letting your son play in your bed for so many months, you are instilling behavior patterns which could become habits. Let him know kindly but firmly that bed is a place to sleep. Do any other parents in Pattaya have ‘cave children of the night’. How did you help your child? Drop us a line.
Happy ZZZ
Hillary

Dear Hillary,
I am in a quandary. I followed my boyfriend of two years to Pattaya in order to cohabit. But he shows not one iota of interest in me. His disinterest is both Platonic and Erotic. When I query him about this matter, he tells me that he is going through certain ‘phases’, which I would not comprehend and to not try to engage him on dialogue about the subject.
This is a facile way of avoiding any dialectic discussion on a subject of great interest to me. Now plunged into Cimmerian darkness my self-confidence is almost zero. I believe a separation would obviously be the best solution - but I still hope there could be another one.

Depressing Relationship

Dear Depressing Relationship,
You say that you followed your lover to Thailand. You did not say if you and he had an outward commitment to a long-term relationship. If he has no interest in you at all, I would take this as a sign. But before you make any decisions, I suggest you have a talk with him. Would he like you to go? Would he like you to stay? Remember, both you and he have options. I would examine your feelings toward yourself. Are you really allowing this man to determine your self-worth? You are the one who determines your self-worth. Your confidence in yourself is what is the meaning of self-confidence. It has nothing to do with your lover.
If you feel you cannot handle your problems, a professional counselor can be of great help in working out your feelings.
Remember, the important thing is not how others feel about you. It’s how you feel about yourself.

Good Luck,
Hillary

  Thai Idiom:
Hey Ha

Ho-Ha

‘Very informaative.’
‘I think they’re trying to be droll.’
Hey-ha is ‘to have fun’. It also means
to do something ‘just for fun.’
EXAMPLES: ‘Didn’t you realise the problems that would cause?’ ‘I just did it hey-ha.’

  Family Money

Thy will be done

by Leslie Wright

It must be wonderful to be immortal. Not ever having to worry about passing on from this life to whatever is surely blissful.

In and around Pattaya there are quite a number of immortals - I know because I’ve met quite a few of them. You doubt my word? I kid you not! Please accept that there are a significant number of people living on the Eastern Seaboard right now who are absolutely sure they’re never going to die.

How can they be so sure? Well, I’m not quite so sure of the answer to that, but for sure they’re sure they’re never going to die. That’s why they’ve not bothered to make any provisions for their passing. That is, they’ve never bothered to make a will. So, the only sensible conclusion that can be drawn from this is that they believe they’re immortal! Q.E.D.

Where there’s a Will

For the rest of us mere mortals, it is sensible to make advance arrangements for what you want to happen to yourself and your assets after you’re gone. A will is simply a formalised set of instructions to be carried out upon your death. It should cover three principal areas:

1. Your wishes as to the disposal of your remains.

2. The disposal of your assets.

3. The appointment of an Executor (and perhaps a Guardian for young children.)

Lets look at each of these areas in a little more detail.

Firstly, do you wish to be buried or cremated? Here or ‘back home’? (When deciding this, think of the costs involved.) With or without religious ceremony, flowers, etc., etc.

Are any of your body parts to be available for transplant or left to science? (If so, a special donor card has to be obtained from a recognised hospital and carried with you at all times, to indicate these wishes should you be unfortunate enough to die unexpectedly or by accident. Otherwise, by the time contact has been made with your next of kin and proper permission obtained it may be too late for these parts to be useful for someone else.)

Who gets what?

The disposition of your assets may seem obvious, but it isn’t necessarily. In some countries there are laws which state fixed minimum percentages to which certain family members are entitled, no matter what your wishes may be to the contrary.

Known as "forced heirship", this can lead to court wrangles which can drag on for years, and drain considerable amounts of your estate in legal costs.

In the meantime, all your assets - including bank accounts - are frozen, and your local ‘wife’ may be unable to access funds to support herself or the children. If the local marriage was never properly formalised (which many are not), she may have no claim on your estate at all if you haven’t specifically made provision in your Will for her.

If you happen to be British and die intestate (i.e., without a formal will), the State makes one for you. The U.K. rules of intestacy state simply that if you have no children, parents, siblings, nephews or nieces, your spouse inherits everything.

Simple, isn’t it? No!

That rule applies to the formalised legal spouse, not the partner you have chosen to co-habit with. Common-law marriages may be common, but would have to last for several years (typically five, but this varies from country to country) before they can be claimed as having any legality under the laws of inheritance, and even then, the continuity and intent have to be clearly proven. All your friends and neighbours may know your wife, but the courts in U.K. don’t.

If, on the other hand, there are children - say from a previous marriage - the spouse takes the personal chattels (car, furniture, clothing, etc.) and £125,000 and the income only from half of the balance of the estate. The children would be entitled to half this residue when they’re 18 (or upon their marriage if earlier) plus the other half of the residue on the death of the surviving parent.

If there are no children but there are parents, siblings and other relatives, then the spouse takes the personal chattels plus £200,000 plus half the residue. The other half of the residue is given in order to parents, or if they’re dead, to siblings, or if they’re also dead, to nephews & nieces.

If there is no surviving spouse, then the children get everything. (Or parents, siblings, nephews & nieces, grandparents, uncles & aunts, in that order - and if they’re all gone, then the Crown gets the lot.)

Protecting your loved ones

If there are children from a local common-law marriage as well as children from a former overseas marriage it can get very complicated indeed.

I have seen cases where children from a former marriage may be resentful of their father’s new Thai wife (who sometimes is younger than they are), and create all sorts of legal difficulties upon their father’s death to prevent his new wife (and her offspring) from getting her hands on his U.K. property, bank accounts and investments.

Without a clearly drawn-up Will she is often almost powerless to fight this, even if she has the means to do so (which she may well not have, since the bank accounts - even in joint names - will normally be frozen immediately after the bank learns of one signatory’s death.)

Taxes don’t stop even for Death

An Executor is simply someone whom you know and trust to ensure your wishes are carried out. This person, however, has to be in a position to do so, since your international holdings will have to be cleared through the probate courts of each jurisdiction in which these assets are located - perhaps Thailand, U.K., Guernsey, the Isle of Man, Switzerland, and so on.

He therefore has to be familiar with all your assets, and where they’re located. He is usually a disinterested third party - that is, not a beneficiary or relative.

Grant of Administration is the formal term meaning that this Executor is given permission by the various courts to liquidate the estate after arrangements have been made for any taxes due to each jurisdiction to be paid.

This task can be time-consuming and burdensome, and the old family solicitor back in U.K. may be ill-equipped to deal with liquidating an international estate.

Confidential bank accounts that no-one else knew about could be lost to the heirs forever (much to the glee of those gnomes of Zurich.)

In the recent U.K. budget, the inheritance tax nil-rate band was raised to £223,000. This means that should you be domiciled in the U.K. (and domicility is different from residency) when you die, your worldwide assets are taxable under U.K. law. And this is applied to your entire estate. Any amounts over £223,000 will incur U.K. tax at the rate of 40%.

Thus the estate of someone with assets amounting to £473,000 may be liable to pay £100,000 in U.K. inheritance tax before the heirs see a penny. And the rules are similar - and sometimes worse - in other regimes.

If, however, you are not domiciled in U.K. and all the assets are outside U.K., your estate would have no inheritance tax liability in U.K. - but may very well have such a liability in the country where you are now domiciled, or where the assets are located.

Estate planning is a complex and potentially tricky subject, and requires professional guidance to protect the interests of our heirs and loved ones.

Much as we may like to think that we’ll live forever, most of us are not immortal. It therefore makes eminent sense to ensure while we still can that our loved ones don’t have an additional burden thrust upon them at what will undoubtedly be a very stressful time should we pass away unexpectedly. A properly drawn-up Will can ensure that the family and the family money are properly taken care of according to our wishes after we’ve gone.

If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, write to Leslie Wright, c/o Family Money, Pattaya Mail, or fax him directly on (038) 232522 or e-mail him at [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.

Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments.

  Health & Nutrition Facts: Variety is the Spie of Life

by Laura Zubrod

What is a varied diet and how do you know if you are consuming one? Eating a variety of foods is the foundation of good nutrition and well-being. Most foods and beverages contain several nutrients, but no one food has all that you need. To get nutrients your body requires, you need a variety of foods every day. Listed below are foods grouped into 6 categories. If you can check off 28 of the foods over the course of three days, then you are doing a good job at consuming a wide variety of foods. If you check off closer to 15 foods over three days, you should try to include a few different foods each day to add a little food diversity.

Breads, cereals, rice, and pasta white bread whole wheat bread muffin, roll crackers cold breakfast cereals hot breakfast cereals rice, rice noodles pasta other grains Vegetables green leafy vegetables orange and yellow vegetables tomatoes and tomato products potatoes and other root vegetables other vegetables Fruits citrus fruits: pomelo, oranges, grapefruit, limes, etc. melons: watermelon, cantaloupe other fresh and dried fruits fruit and vegetable juices

Meat, poultry, fish, dry beans, eggs, and nut eggs chicken beef pork lamb fish and other seafood liver and other organ meats processed meats: sausages, luncheon meats, bacon, etc. beans and legumes nuts and seeds Fats, oils and sweets margarine, butter, and oils sweet baked goods and desserts salty snacks: potato chips, shrimp chips, popcorn, pretzels, etc. soft drinks candy Milk, yogurt, and cheese milk yogurt cheese milk-base desserts: ice cream, puddings, custards other dairy products

Remember that most of the foods you eat should come from the bread, fruit, and vegetable groups, smaller amounts from the meat and milk groups, and the fat and sweets should be used sparingly. Variety in food choices is not only essential to good nutrition and health, it is also the key to enjoying the many tastes of food.

Readers may write Laura care of the Pattaya Mail with questions or special topics they would like to see addressed.

Copyright 1998 Pattaya Mail Publishing Co.Ltd.
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260, Thailand 
Tel.66-38 411 240-1, 413 240-1, Fax:66-38 427 596; e-mail: [email protected]
Created by Andy Gombaez, assisted by Chinnaporn Sangwanlek.