‘The Divorcer’ strikes it big

Friday, 18 January 2013 From Issue Vol. XXI No. 3

The Backyard Golf Society

Emerald golf club, like most others around Pattaya, suffers from an over-supply of golfers at this time of year.  When we arrived at the course last week we were informed that the management had decided to shift our regular tee-time back to accommodate 3 groups of hackers, but the starter at least had the good sense to realize we play the course maybe 50 weeks a year and shifted us back to our regular slot. 

Needless to say several vocal complaints were made at the office when we completed our round, led not surprisingly by The Quiet Man.  We have now block booked an earlier tee time to hopefully avoid this situation in future.  Groups turning up out of the blue with no bookings are another scourge and why the courses risk upsetting regulars by trying to slip these groups in and expecting no complaints is just one of the mysteries of golf locally.

Don ‘the Divorcer’ (center rear) with the girls at Kisses Bar.Don ‘the Divorcer’ (center rear) with the girls at Kisses Bar.

The round took about 4¼ hours and it was a novelty to see The Quiet Man, Second-hand Bob and The Diet Whiskey Man last the course.

On to the golf and Don ‘the Divorcer’ scooped first place in the main competition with 36 points, one ahead of Tony “Foos your Doos” Cowe.  Don was accompanied in the round by another French Canadian named Randy and we sent Kit out as the lone English speaker to ensure entente cordiale was maintained.

‘The Divorcer’ also won the near-pin on hole 15, the roll-over skin from last week and 1 other skin, so he was more than happy to shell out for a round of beverages later in Kisses Bar.

Tel won 9 skins with a standard par on the index 1 hole, where his handicap enabled him to win the pot.  He was pleading from the 1st tee to win a large number of skins as he had forgotten to pack his society shirt and was thus charged for a round of drinks, just one of the complex rules we adopt.  Foos your Doos won 2 skins and we have 6 rolled over to the next game.

Dan the Diet Whiskey Man is obviously well chuffed to get the cash from the ex and laid on some grub for the ravenous players at Kisses Bar, where Yok, George and the other ladies looked after us.

A couple of no shows today, as Golden Trowel’s boyfriend cried off with a cold and Michelle Chatt went up the 331 to see the kids.  JJ is looking a bit unlikely for next week with foot, knee and thigh problems springing up in his aging legs.

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