You got girlfriend?

Friday, 06 April 2012 From Issue Vol. XX No. 14 By  Hillary

Dear Hillary,

I am having a problem with some of the direct questions you get asked over here.  Do all Thai people ask you the most personal questions, which we would never do?  Things like “How much salary you get?  You married yet?  Why not?  You got girlfriend?  You want boyfriend?  You want me to go with you?”  Apart from the fact that this is considered a very rude way of starting a relationship in the UK, I also find it very embarrassing when I am over here.  How do I get these people to stop doing this?  You seem to have the answers for most things over here, so I hope you have some answers for me too.

Rather Shy

Dear Rather Shy,

You have to look at where are these women who ask you such direct questions.  My bet is in a bar somewhere.  They are not in the habit of issuing a gilt edged invitation to dinner, hand inscribed in Olde English.  Be real and be thankful that ‘these people’ as you call them are interested enough in you to even ask questions.  There’s only one thing worse than being a wall-flower at parties, and that’s not being asked at all.  In actual fact, my turtledove, those inquiries are very cleverly designed “standard” bar girl questions to see if you are worthwhile bothering with at all.  If you have no money all interest will be lost immediately, if not sooner.  Likewise if you are married they will want to know if “You marry Thai?” or whether your partner is waiting faithfully for you back home in the UK, while you contemplate the unfaithful ideas.  Lighten up and when you are asked next time just say, “No money.  Wife take all money to boy bar,” and then laugh a lot.  They’ll get the message and you will be left happily lonely, then you can write me letters asking why does nobody talk to you!

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