Wrong messages

Friday, 04 November 2011 From Issue Vol. XIX No. 44 By  Hillary

Dear Hillary,

One of the chaps at work I look on as a friend, as he’s from the UK like me.  We used to laugh and joke together and we could slap each other on the shoulder, but that’s as physical as it got.  Last week he suggested we “go somewhere” at lunchtime, so I thought he meant to local food stall or something like that.  Comes Tuesday and he says “OK, lets go somewhere this lunchtime.”  I pressed him for where and he told me he wanted us to go to a short-time hotel!  I didn’t know what to say and said that it wasn’t a good time and I had too much work to do.  Since then he asks every day when are we going, and I am getting confused as what to do next.  I don’t know why he thinks I want an M-M experience, I’m not that way inclined.  I don’t want to give up the job, as I like working there (or I used to).  Can I just tell him that I’m not interested, or will that make him angry?  He is in charge of my section.  Is he strange or something?

Worried (I don’t want to give my real name if you don’t mind),

Dear Worried,

That’s fine about your real name, I don’t need to know your name anyway.  Your supervisor has obviously taken your slaps on the shoulder as a physical ‘come-on’, which you have innocently done in return for his physical gestures.  All you can do is to say to him that it’s not your scene, and leave it at that.  You don’t have to make up excuses, as if you do, he’ll try and counter them.  There’s all kinds of different people in this world, so don’t imagine that he’s strange - he’s just different from you.

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