What? No tattoos!


Dear Hillary,

I married my Thai fiancée after a year of engagement. She is a professional lady and we have always done everything in a proper fashion. My wife is 15 years younger than me and this gives us a problem. When we go out, many foreigners assume that my wife must be, or have been, a bar girl even though she in no way acts like one. She has no tattoos or wears sexy dresses or even smokes. I realize that as high as 85 percent of all Thai-foreigner marriages are between bar girls and “sex tourists”, but this is not so for other 15 percent of Thai-foreigner marriages. Please tell your readers that not all Thai-foreigner marriages are between bar girls and “sex tourists,” and stop making false assumptions.


Dear Jack,

Now you’ve got all that off your chest, do you feel a little better, Petal? However, I think you have made a few false assumptions yourself too. Where did you get that figure of 85 percent of Thai-foreigner marriages are between bar girls and what you call “sex tourists”? Let me assure you that sex tourists do not come to Thailand to get married. That is why they are sex tourists – they want the fun in bed without the filling out forms at the local Ampur office. Honestly, Jack, 85 percent of Thai foreigner marriages are between people such as yourself and your wife. The foreigners who “look down” on you are the foreigners who are not in the marriage market, just the bar meat market. Ignore them, my Petal.

  • Chris

    Spot on Hilary, the ones that are making an assumption that your wife must have been a bar girl are likely to be sex tourists whos only interaction with Thai women is in the bars. The other section sadly who often take that view are western women. My wife is also not an ex bar girl and I find that we do not have this problem as mostly when out we go where Thais go and not where tourists tend to go. I have had one or two “discussions” though with judgemental ignorant (usually American) ladies.

  • Robert

    If you have had “two” discussions and they are usually American ladies does that mean one was American and one was not? I love broad generalizations being portended as absolute truth. I think that anyone is wise not to worry about the opinions or statements of others. I dislike seeing any nationality singled out for judgemental criticism be it Chinese, Russians, Americans, Aussies or Brits.

    • Chris

      I used the expression one or two as a colloquialism I would guess that over the many years we have been together it has probably 8 or 9 occasions, of those probably 6 have been American ladies