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Dear Hillary,

I need your advice urgently, Hillary my Petal! I know I should have known better, after all I am not new to this country, but there I was at my usual bar and met this vision of loveliness. She spoke very little English but seems like a very genuine person and we got along just fine. She comes from Udon Thani, but that’s about all I managed to find out about her after about four hours and several “lady drinks”. The biggest problem was only that she doesn’t speak much English, but we got by OK. By the end of the night I was pretty drunk and I ended up lending her 10,000 baht, which she was going to return three days later after pay day at the bar. It’s now a week later and I haven’t heard from her. What should I do? Should I go back to the bar and ask for my money? Should I keep going, or should I give up now before I get in too deep?

Nelson

Dear Nelson,

You’ve got the telescope to the blind eye. Haven’t you! After four hours of lady drinks you give this “vision of loveliness” 10,000 baht. How were you communicating with your vision? It wasn’t English, according to you, so I presume it must have been in Braille. That is 10,000 baht you will never see again. But look at it this way – there is a very grateful buffalo up there in Udon Thani, thinking about you while getting its hooves polished. And by the way, I am not your Petal, Petal!

  • Chris

    You have been fleeced mate, but take comfort in the fact that she probably fleeces at least one mug a week with that story, and no doubt has numerous farang men sending her a monthly stipend too all believing that she is “their” girl.