The key to the loss

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Dear Hillary

My girlfriend and I live in a studio in town. Been there for six months already. We have a good relationship except for the fact she keeps losing the keys and her mobile phone. This is very annoying, how can I stop her doing this?

Annoyed

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Dear Annoyed

Have you ever considered the fact that your girlfriend is losing keys and telephones as a subconscious way of expressing her lack of satisfaction with the relationship or simply as a device to annoy you? It is very difficult if not impossible to change someone else’s behavior unless you change your own behavior first. I suggest you change the way you respond to her. One quick fix is to either don’t let her see that it annoys you or simply don’t speak to her for days every time she loses things. The best way though is to “Give her the monkey and let her feed it.” Which is a Thai expression for allowing her to take the consequence of her own actions. Do not let her have or use your mobile phone ever, keep a spare set of keys for you, but never unlock the apartment for her, and never give her another set after she has lost one. If this is too tedious, maybe losing this girlfriend would be less frustrating.

  • Robert

    I think losing her keys is to throw you off the scent that she is selling every new phone you buy her.

  • Chris

    Yep, she is almost certainly selling every mobile that you buy her. Do not buy her any more. If she has lost her keys make it her problem to replace the locks every time out of HER money. Pretty soon she will not be losing them. Or of course as has been suggested just bin her and get a better model.