The Duck Test explained

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Dear Hillary,

An Aussie friend of mine says that to see if the girl sitting on your lap can be believed then you have to apply the British Standard (BS) Duck Test, “If a bird looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck” to all Thai women. Your friend must have really gone down the gurgler to be so bitter. All women are not the same. Thai women are not the same as western ones and bar girls are a different species altogether. He feels that all women are out to rip off mankind and all that is left is 0.01 percent of decent women. How pessimistic is that? I think he should stop feeling sorry for himself and get out and enjoy the company of the ladies in the bars. That’s what they’re there for. You don’t have to buy the library when you want to read a book.

Elwyn from New York

 

Dear Elwyn from New York,

Despite the 50 percent divorce rate in many countries, including Australia and America, all women are very obviously not the same. I’m not like that for one. Despite the friend’s pessimism, his 0.01 percent still works out as 1,000 women, even in Australia. I agree that if you want a ‘good time’, the good time girls are there to give it to you. The problems always arise when the smitten male forgets that a good time girl is just that – a good time girl. A girl for the good times in life, not a girl who is good for life times. It should also be understood that a beer bar is not an outside office for an accredited match-making and marriage agency. I have said in this column many times that you don’t go into a hardware shop if you are looking to buy a piece of cheese.