The concise works of Hillary

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Dear Hillary,

When are you going to collect all your writings into a book?  I reckon it would have to be a great hit.  I have mates overseas who read you every week, just for the laugh at the poor sods who write in.  I’ll buy the first copy.

Regular Reader

Dear Reg the Reader,

It is always nice to know that the readers enjoy the column, especially people like Big D from the USA who sends champagne and chocolates with his letters.  (Thanks again Big D!)  We have discussed putting some of the best letters together, but it is a lot of work, Reg my Petal.  Maybe it will be something for me to do when I retire.  I’ll let you know and autograph that first copy just for you.  Of course the first copy will be more expensive than the others, so in true fashion for these parts, there will be around 1,000 first copies, just like the third 50 percent share of many bars that is sold so often!  By the way, I would rather your friends laugh at my answers, rather than at the readers’ problems.