Struck dumb

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Dear Hillary,

You may think this request is too simple to publish, but I am sure my problem is one suffered by many young men in this country. I am from the UK, here for a couple of years, and am enjoying just being with such nice people (and the nice girls). Here’s the problem, I have met a right stunner. She is super and works in an office near mine, in the same building. I have done the homework through the Thai staff in the office, and she’s not married or attached or anything like that, but here’s the problem. She doesn’t speak English. I really want to get close to this woman (she really turns me on), but I haven’t got enough Thai to be able to chat her up or anything. What’s the next step, Hillary?

Pasa Angkrit

Dear Pasa Angkrit,

What a wonderful pseudonym you have chosen, Pasa Angkrit indeed (‘English language’ for those who cannot speak Thai). But what a dilemma! Here you are, hormones raging at the thought of this nice young woman who really turns you on, even though you have never spoken to her, or even got close enough to smell her perfume! And you don’t know how to pop the question. Or any question, for that matter. You have just discovered a simple and inescapable fact, my Petal. The country you are in for the next two years and the country the woman lives and works in, is called Thailand. That’s not tongue tie-land, either. This is her country, and the language she speaks gets her everywhere she wants to go, and everything she wants to do. There is a lesson for you here. If you want to get to know this Thai lady, then go and learn some basic Thai. After a few lessons, go and try it out on her (the language, Petal, the language). If she thinks you are a nice chap, she will even help you with the pronunciations. However, if she doesn’t respond, then you have to accept the fact that you didn’t make her hormones explode, the way she made yours. Best of luck with the language course. That is “Chok dii” as you will learn in lesson 2.