Some of your readers will probably say this is a silly question

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Dear Hillary,

Some of your readers will probably say this is a silly question, but I haven’t been here long, so I don’t know the ropes.  I often see a rather nice looking girl in the local shopping center and I sometimes stop and say hello.  She is very well dressed and seems to have good English.  I have asked her what she is doing and she says she is waiting for a boyfriend, but she seems to be waiting every day.  Should I ask her if she is really waiting for a boyfriend?  Do you think she is a prostitute?  How do I ask?  What will tell me that she is?  Please don’t laugh, I would really like to get to know this girl.

Jason

 

Dear Jason,

You certainly are new around these parts, aren’t you!  Let me take you by the hand in this matter.  No, you do not say, “Excuse me, are you a prostitute?”  Firstly, there are no prostitutes because that is against the law, so there aren’t any.  However, there does appear to be a few enthusiastic ‘amateurs’ or ‘side-line’ girls around the place.  What you have to reason out, young Jason, is how can she be so well dressed without a job, because you see her every day “waiting” and that’s not delivering food, is it?  So she is either a young lady of independent means, or someone who goes shopping a lot with someone else’s money.  You still with me, Jason my Petal?  Now she has been giving you all the hints, “waiting for a boyfriend”.  That wasn’t waiting for “her” boyfriend – she is waiting for “a” boyfriend.  This is leaving the opening for you to become the boyfriend – but, Jason, I fear this relationship is going to cost you a whole heap of money.  She is obviously more experienced than you are, and you are walking around the shopping center with “I’m ready for fleecing” written on your forehead.  Take my tip – change your shopping center and wait till you meet some nice girl who is working there, not “waiting” there for a boyfriend.