Social kissing


Dear Hillary,

I find this habit of social kissing here disgusting. People just making an excuse to slobber all their germs over you, it is just frightful and unhealthy too! How can I avoid it?


Dear Besame (mucho),

Where have you been all your life? Living in a nunnery? It seems as though you don’t like socializing either? Most people have social kissing down to the fine art of just kissing the air beside the victim’s face. What you do on greeting occasions is to step into the person’s space first, grab them by both upper arms and kiss the air nosily, even wetly beside each ear. Then watch them like a hawk and if they seem inclined to reciprocate, just duck or say, “Don’t come too close, I’ve got rota virus.” The other alternative is to stay at home and watch TV by yourself.