Serious relationship

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Dear Hillary,

Is this girl serious? I have been to Pattaya three times and I have been with the same girl every time. I am 36 and she is 27 and she has been working in the bar for about nine months. She asked me that next time I come to Thailand she wants me to go to her home near Chaiyaphum to meet her family. Is that a sign that she want to have a serious relationship with me or does she have other motives?

Wondering

Dear Wondering,

Open your wallet and say after me, “Help yourself!” You have now joined the bar girls retirement benefit fund. So help me! You have been to Pattaya three times and met a lovely young lady of 27 who has only worked in the bar for nine months, and you are wondering if this paragon of virtue (other than the last nine months or so) wants to have a serious relationship with you. Give me strength! You hardly know this woman and she hardly knows you, other than the fact you paid well last time. Is this what you base “serious relationships” on? She has serious designs on your bank account my unsuspecting Petal, that’s all that is happening here. I suggest that instead of losing your money to the 27 year old (and probably much older if truth ever be known) from Chaiyaphum, you just donate it to your favorite charity, or buy me several cases of French champagne, and then climb back under your rock again.