Sam Goldwyn, where are you?

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Dear Hillary,

I live in a townhouse and I have noisy neighbors, one on each side. I’m just renting so the neighbors don’t really care about me, I think. If they played their music inside their houses it would be better, but every couple of nights they sit out on their front patios, have a party, drink beer and scream and laugh till the early hours. When I first moved in I tried being nice and even brought them over a couple of bottles of beer but that didn’t do too much other than keep them going longer. Is there some department I could approach and get them to quieten them up?

Bernard

Dear Bernard,

The noise is obviously getting to you. “Quieten them up”. Like Sam Goldwyn’s “Include me out.” But of course there is something you can do – leave. My Petal, Thai people are happy people, and part of the enjoyment is noise. Lots of it. There is no way you will get them to turn the music down. Even if the Prime Minister were to rock up one evening he wouldn’t stop them, he’d sit down with them and have some of your beer which you so kindly sent over, and join in the karaoke. Leave and rent a small house on a large property.