Other side of the coin


Dear Hillary,

I was married to a wonderful farang lady for 29 years and then sadly she passed away. After being single for seven years decided life is too short to live alone and not share my life with someone.

So I started looking around at farang ladies in the US and discovered to my chagrin that ladies in my age bracket carried a great deal of baggage. This baggage consisted of children, ex-husbands, monstrous amounts of debts, etc.

These ladies were more interested in my looks, what kind of car I drove, how much money I made per year and on and on. Never the important things, like what kind of person I was or what kind of husband or father would I make.

So I started exploring finding a soul mate in another country settling on Thailand. I met and married a wonderful lady who was 49 at the time, never been married, and owned an internet shop in Pattaya.

After six happy years of marriage we are not only still together, but she is the love of my life and I of hers. Yes, there were cultural differences to overcome and yes I married the whole family.

However we share a wonderful marriage here in the US and are looking forward to my retirement in the land of smiles. We own our own home, have money in the bank and will have a very comfortable retirement thanks to this wonderful lady.

I am sure my experience is not unique, but you just can’t find a diamond in a pig pen. Keep up the good work Hillary, enjoy your column every week.

Jerry and Tu

Dear Jerry and Tu,

I am delighted to get your letter, which will have more than a faint ring of truth to it for many who have looked for a soul mate in their own countries. However, I have to say that there are also a fair few local ladies carrying a great deal of baggage, not the least of which is the brother’s bent motorcycle perched on the back of the ailing buffalo. The message that you put forward that “you just can’t find a diamond in a pig pen” is the one to remember. Or as I say, you don’t go to a hardware shop to buy cheese! You are also correct when you say that cross-cultural marriages have their own unique hurdles, but you have obviously overcome them.

  • J West Hardin

    Well,can I be controversial, again . I came to Thailand when it was pristine and sex-pat free. Phuket had a single hotel and Pattaya was just a few grass shacks along an un paved track. Patpong had three bars for the few soldiers who got to Bangkok and the diplomatic workers. Mississippi Queen had the only sound system in town….no poles to swing off yet….simpler times. Now here’s my question, after decades in Bangkok I’ve seen Thailand degenerate into a cess pool where it’s hard to find a housing complex where you don’t have Russian neighbors filming dog and girl porn in the driveway. Is Thailand really that sick or have I just seen too much? Are there developments in Pattaya, Phuket, Hua Hin etc where it’s possible not to find drunk farang having anal sex in the communal pool? Is there hope for Thailand …..somewhere…..or is the dream really dead and the country in denial? I watch as a tsunami of retiring perverts spills into Thailand….he’s 71 she’s 24…fresh off Craigslist or Thai Friendly….teaching him to buy discount lube in the Big C and sickening the poor girls who work there. I’m thinking it’s only going to get worse.