Love is an SMS or a sick buffalo?


Dear Hillary,

I come over once a year for my annual holidays and do what every red blooded male does and visit the ladies.  I mentioned to one little honey last year that I was coming back again this time, and on my first night I get an SMS from her to tell me where she is working.  Do you think this is a genuine thing, and she has been waiting for me to come back, or what?


Dear Jerry,

Of course she is genuine.  Why would you ask?  She has been genuinely waiting, having noted your telephone number and dates in her latest iPhone 5, along with all the others who come over at different times.  You were just lucky your dates fitted nicely into the January slot!  Jerry, my Petal, this girl is really genuine – a genuine 100 percent bar girl who knows how to run her business and knows how to market it to unsuspecting annual holiday makers such as yourself.  Get a grip, Jerry.  Enjoy the holiday, but don’t start thinking that the next girl who remembers you has kept your smiling face in her heart.  It might be in her iPhone, so that she can recognize you from all the other Tom’s, Dick’s and Harry’s from last year.  And don’t buy her a motorcycle or pay the vet’s bills for the ailing buffalo, there’s a good chap, or you’ll be getting more SMS messages to your home, something you probably don’t want.

Previous articleThe Pensioner’s lament
Next articleNoisy nights