In defense of the bar girls


Hi Hillary,

I hear of many farangs that claim they have been cheated and lied to by Thai girls.  I have been married for 7 years to an ex bar girl.  She was 26 and I was 63 when we were married.  We live in the U.S.  She just passed her citizenship test.  I speak pretty good Thai and now she speaks excellent English.  We have had a happy life and do many things together.  We plan on moving to Thailand in a few years.  I have visited Thailand about 25 times since 2004.  I thought it would be nice for farangs who are looking for a wife to hear a positive story.  They must remember that men fall in love very easily and rapidly, whereas Thai girls take some time to experience the same emotion.


Dear Rand,

I am delighted for you personally, but you have to understand that your case is one of a minority.  There are far more negative stories out there than positive ones.  You are quite correct, however, when you wrote that “men fall in love very easily and rapidly, whereas Thai girls take some time to experience the same emotion.”  What is behind that statement is that men experience an instant “Love” while the Thai women only experience “love” later.  This is a cultural difference, but does allow the Thai women to back out of the deal, as they do not have the same commitment to the marriage as the foreigner.  When you then look at the girls working in the bars, it is even more likely that you have found a group with even less commitment. Remember that decisions made in haste are repented at leisure.

  • Randy Rand…you’re on the clock

  • Marc, Whats with all this Giberish?
    I ‘ve tossed this reply over and over and can make no sense of it.
    Maybe it’s my lack of a sence of humour but please
    explain it to me. All your replies leave me wondering.

  • aarno lehtinen

    Hi Rand,here is another lucky-one,i´ve been married with thai-lady 8 years now,we met in Pattaya 9 years ago,and 5 year ago i also commented here on Hillarys pages.(Pattaya mail,Chiang mai mail vol.VII no.17-april 22-29,2008).We are still happy and my wife Yupa is highly-respected member of my family and friends.Cheers