How to recognize an ATM


Dear Hillary,

I met this girl at a function and we hit it off straight away. I was really unsure of where we were going, but we go for dinner together at least three times a week. She is in her thirties and has a little dress shop in one of the arcades and I worry about her being away from her shop when she is with me, so I throw the odd 1,000 into the till to make up for it. I will be going back to the US in a couple of months and told her that I would be away for about six months. She floored me by saying that she needed my contributions to the bottom line, and if I could keep sending something over she would be able to keep the shop going and she wouldn’t have to go back to the bar as a source of income. I asked her how much did she need and she floored me by saying she needed 100K a month, so if I could contribute 60K she could make up the difference with the shop and she would be waiting for me at six months. Are these figures standard for this type of situation? Am I being looked at as an ATM?


Dear Jeff,

Go and look in the mirror, my Petal. See those letters on your forehead? The A and the T and the M. Yes, you are the knight in shining armor with money stuffed in your pockets and the ATM brand on your forehead. Now is the time to cancel lunch, leave the till alone and climb aboard your horse and ride off into the sunset. Today, Petal, today!

  • John Nielson

    100k a month? That would put her around the top 10%. Run buddy. Run fast.

  • J West Hardin

    What a great laugh I got reading this one….remembering the past and how the best scams still shine. 40 years ago as a young pup I was holding court at a China Town hotel writing ‘John’ letters (long before the Internet and English) for the girls of Patpong. This one “pay me so I can stay out of the bar while I wait for your return” is a classic. I believe I was the first farang to do this and the practice has gone viral over the decades.

    “Oh Heinrich….I’m having your baby….send money fast”.

    “Dear John, after your love I can’t go back to the bar…..I loooovvvvve you”.

    The johns keep coming and never learn.

  • Chris

    You know now that she is a money grubbing bitch so what are you still hanging around for. 100K a month makes her a rich girl and she can then spend YOUR money treating some nice Thai stud who is no doubt servicing her anyway. Whilst laughing at the mug farang who is paying for it all, it is fairly likely she has more than one mug on the hook already.