Hillary a guru?

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Dear Hillary,

You have answered letters from guys with the GF that won’t leave and you suggest just paying them off. My problem is worse than that – she won’t even leave with a bag full of cash. I try putting my foot down but she then becomes so incredibly loving with real tears and everything, that I give in. What now? Guru of the GF?

Oscar

Dear Oscar,

Are you in Actor’s Equity by any chance? Or maybe your GF is, able to turn the tables in her favor with a few well placed words and copious tears. Didn’t anyone tell you that us Thai girls take crying lessons from Prathom 1 in school. Has a 95 percent success rate. Have you been approached with the ‘knee walking’ too? You sound like a nice fellow, my Petal, but you have to harden up. Tell her she must be out by next Sunday, and have a couple of off-duty security chaps to assist her with packing and moving. As soon as they have left with her, change the locks! The Guru has spoken.