Heart to Heart – Friday November 23, 2018 – November 29, 2018

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Hi Hillary,

Keep the bright side of life going – for those of us not lucky enough to be in Thailand all the time we certainly appreciate the Thai sunshine you bring to us.  My Thai wife and I get over about three times a year and you’ve got no idea just how much I look forward to it.

It is certainly refreshing to see a Farang / Thai marriage success story.  For the doubters out there – yes, there are very many others who share in the wonderful experience of being married to a Thai woman.  Dare I give advice?  Okay then, but it is the same as for any other prospective long term union irrespective of nationality – “remember to engage the brain before slapping the gear stick into top and then pressing the turbo button.”  Yes, there are many differences in culture to overcome and the rules are not quite the same, “face” was certainly a new concept for me to understand!  But a good Thai woman with some education and a sensible and flexible Farang man who can listen and try to understand can match just perfectly – it is after all only the fool and his money that are soon parted, but parting with a little here and there occasionally to help the family is expected and is not so bad, is it?  Not when you look at the rewards.

Happy

Dear Happy,

I am so glad I can add you and your wife to the ‘happy’ relationships pile, my Petal.  You are correct when you say that there is a certain amount of flexibility required to overcome the cultural differences, but that comes from both sides.  She has to understand you just as you have to understand her.  Financial assistance for the family is expected in Thailand, but provided this is kept to within agreed limits there is no problem.  In fact, most farang husbands enjoy taking on the additional responsibilities.  I hope you will always remain “Happy”!

Dear Hillary,

I see motorcyclists riding down the road, riding with one hand and talking on the telephone.  Surely this can’t be inside the law?  It is dangerous as well.  No wonder the road toll is so high.  Do you know how many are motorcyclists?

Road Sense

Dear Road Sense,

Your letter shouldn’t really be addressed to me, as it is a subject too deep for the ‘Advice to the Lovelorn’, but since you did send it, I will reply.  Sure there are laws against this, and also riding without a helmet, but as you may have seen, application of the laws is a little haphazard, to put it mildly.  The road toll is horrendous, and I am told that 80 percent are motorcyclists and 50 percent involve alcohol.  How many involve mobile phones I do not know, but there are more pressing public problems than using a mobile on the move.  Take my tip – don’t ride a motorcycle.

 

Dear Hillary,

My husband is looking for an old motorcycle to restore, but we live in a condo and have no place to work on anything like that.  Totally impractical as always.  Thank goodness we live on the 10th floor, or he might be tempted to put one in the elevator.  Why don’t grown men grow out of these things?  I thought they were supposed to outgrow Lego before they got to their teens, or is mine just a trifle retarded?

Mrs. Meccano

Dear Mrs. Meccano,

I don’t know where you got the information that the men folk grow out of these things.  All the ones I know all want to get their hands dirty, and they’re 40 years on from their teens at least.  The best idea is to help him find a small shed somewhere so he can go off there and get out of your hair.  You can always then invite the girls over for a session.

 

Dear Hillary,

I have heard about golfing widows, but at least golf is played in the daytime.  My problem is that I am turning into a football widow.  Football matches seem to be played at any time of the day (or night) and he is always off to some pub or other to watch the game.  I am not interested in football, or else I’d go with him, but I am getting lonely left at home.  What should I do?  Tell him it is football or me?  (I’m afraid he might go for the football.)

Footy Widow

Dear Footy Widow,

If you make life difficult for your football mad mate, then he will go for the football and it will be an ‘away’ game every night.  Men will always take the easy way out when pushed into a corner.  They have no real goals in life, you see.  Before you get right cross and relegated to Left Right Out, I would ask around to see if any of his football watching mate’s wives would like to come over for a hen session.  Even if you are not interested, a night out at the pub might also be fun.  Let him watch while you gossip with the other women there.  That is much better for everyone, rather than sitting fuming at home, while plotting how to give your man a red card.