A condo and 50 thousand


Dear Hillary,

I have a Thai girlfriend, even though I only get to see her for about two times four weeks every year. We set up a condo together (it’s in my name) and she seems happy enough there, though I am a little worried by the amount she tells me she spends every month. She has a good job, but every month she needs about another 40-50,000 baht to keep going. The money she tells me is for maintenance of the condo, then her mother who looks after her two kids up jungle needs money, then the phone bills seem astronomical, and on and on and on. I enjoy my times over there, but I am starting to think that maybe I’m getting ripped off somewhere down the line. Do you think I am?


Dear Marty,

50,000 baht on top of her wages in a rent-free condo does seem rather excessive. Have you considered saying “No” to the requests? What would she do then? There is the other fact – just because she has rent-free accommodation does not mean in her mind that she owes you her life. You are prepared to be there for her for two months a year, and that is all. This does not appear to be a life-long commitment, does it? The condo is not in her name, and actually you could kick her out at any time. Agreed? She has no security, from a guy she sees twice a year, and who sends money. Where does that put the relationship? There seems to be a misguided impression out there that by throwing some money in a Thai girl’s lap this means you have some gorgeous girl now yours, and faithful forever.