Chas wants to buy me Veuve Clicquot

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Dear Hillary,

I read somewhere that all Thai girls want is to get their hands in your pockets, and once they have cleaned you out, that’s it.  No money, No Honey as the T shirt says.  Is this really true?  I have met a few nice girls every time I’ve come over, and although I pay for everything when we’re out together, I think that’s natural.  I pay for everything back home when I take out a woman, so what’s the difference?

Confused Chas

Dear Confused Chas,

The difference is you get more fun out of the relationship here, my Petal, or that’s what I get told by my gentlemen friends.  It is nice to see there are still gentlemen in this world, and if you are paying, I’ll have a bottle of Veuve Clicquot when we go to dinner.  Of course you can have what you want as well, I’m not stingy.  Please let me know a week or so in advance, as I will have to fit you in to my crowded appointment book, though with promises of Veuve Clicquot you do go to the top of the waiting list.