Bar girl guerilla tactics

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Dear Hillary,

I’ve been through the usual romances with Thai bar girls and I am just amazed at how good these girls are in snaring their man. What is the secret, so that next time I can give her the big swerve? I’ve been taken too many times. You don’t get anything near these girls with a western woman.

Jack

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Dear Jack,

They are good, aren’t they, Petal. But what you seem to forget is these girls are professionals (I hesitate to use the word “pros”) so they are good at their craft, or calling, if you like. Those who aren’t so good go back to the village and harvest some rice, and then go to Bangkok and work on building sites. There is no secret, they just gaze into your eyes and give you 110 percent attention. Buy some drinks for her and her friends and there’s 120 percent attention. The best way to arm yourself against the enemy, all 46 kg of her, is to avoid going to the same bar two nights in a row and make sure the girl you pick is not the one you drank with last week. They’ll get tired of working on you if there is no jackpot at the end.